My six year old son has always been afraid of going #2. He is afraid of the water turning brown and he's afraid it won't go down. While it has backed up before (never with him), it's not anything out of the ordinary. When he uses the toilet, he perches on it, instead of sitting on it. He claims it is cold and if he sits he wont' be able to see it and that freaks him out. Right now he has a stomach bug and between throwing up and having the runs, he is especially upset about this. Even on a normal day, he insists on one of us being with him in the bathroom. Call me insensitive, but I refuse. My husband will, but I won't. I think it's ridiculous. However, I know this fear is real to him and I simply want to find out how to help him overcome this phobia. Any suggestions???
wow that is weird. i have to say the time now when he is having the runs maybe the best time to break this habit. next time he runs to the bathroom have him notice that nothing bad happened when he sat and pooped. dont let hubby follow him in there it just shows him their is something to fear.
I think if it were me I would get a potty seat and make him use that. Yes, it might be kind of gross for you since you have to empty it, but it might help him that there is no water in the potty (to turn brown) and it doesn't flush. He's six now, he won't want to be using a potty seat for long and it might help him make the transition. Just a suggestion, and the only one I can think of! Good luck.
I know it is hard to stop what you are doing to and go "watch" your six year old on the toilet, but as you said in your post this fear is real to him. Go in there with him to show him that there is nothing to fear. Talk about it while you are in there...don't tell him he is being silly and there is nothing to be afraid of. Ask he specific questions about his fear and let him just open up and then address those. He will eventually get past it...we all get past our fears some how. Just think of something that frightens you. You are older, so you can be rational about it, but it still can make your palms sweaty and your heart beat just a little bit faster. He will eventually get past this, until then go with him (I am not saying baby him)and talk about it. Hope this helps.
Hi L.,
Have you tried going back to a potty training toilet, or one of those basins that you can put on the toilet? That might help and good luck.
acknowledge his fear. it is real to him. i agree with sitting in there with him, diverting his attention, and then when he is done, reminding him of how well it went. it could be a sensory issue, and perhaps he doesn't like the feel of the cold seat, or even the feel of the cold water when it splashes up when he poops. he could try putting a couple squares of toilet paper in the bowl before he goes to minimize the splash/coldness. and just tell him if it doesn't go down, that's mommy's lovely job to deal with. validate the fear and it will take care of itself. he's old enough to rationalize with. and be glad he's going. some kids won't go at all when they are afraid and worse problems ensue. keep him going!
good luck. the stomach bug is enough to drive any mom to the edge~
I beleive that when you give into fear you make it real. I would just explain to him again that when he flushes, whatever is in the toilet will go down. I agree I would refuse to go w/him and suggest that your husband do also.
"God has not given us the spirit of fear, but a sound mind". You could even suggest he take a book in w/him to read and flush while reading
G.
Maybe with this stomach virus being exposed to the toliet over and over again will remove his fears. I used to have a Panic Attack every time I went to Wal- mart. I consulted a therapist and they said the best thing to do is exposure therapy until you realize your fears are silly. I think you are doing the right thing by not going in there with him. However your husband is justifying his fears.
