My husband and myself are very much into protecting our kids' privacy and we don't post any pics of our kids' on FB because, well, generally the rule of the internet is: Once it is out there--it is out there "forever" and it's not on our home database, it is on the respective company's database. Further, my kids' are too young to have a say in their respective privacy so we are one of the (few?) that just don't do it.
So with that said, we are deeply concerned about our kids' privacy when it comes to others--both friends and strangers--that get shots of our kids and post them. It can certainly be a bit awkward to ask friends and family members to remove "my kids" pictures from their FB page.
But what about folks I don't know. And no, I don't "need" the pep talk -- "it's the age of the internet--deal with it." But what is your "rule" when you have pics of OPK's? E.g.: The kindergarten party where you barely know the guests of your child but the li'l guests ends up in an "adorable" shot of your kid, or the soccer team, or the gymnastics team?
To post: or not to post: that is the question.
@Tracy K: How do you know I sign any photo releases? Further, each photo release, if you read it, states that "I grant the respective organization to publish photos", not the parents of each participant. Are you suggesting that when I signed my kid up for soccer or scouts that I was FORCED (You sign lady or your son don't play--kinda thing?) to sign any such document because they are clearly voluntary, not mandatory. Further, and I emphasize, check your agreement because the contract is not between me and EVERY single parent, it would be between me and the institution, company or organization. Additionally, my child's school actually sent out a letter to EVERY single parent REQUESTING that when they take pictures on school grounds and those pictures include OPK, to please not post pics of OPK.
In the age of the internet, does my child instantly lose his "RIGHT to privacy" just because another person owns a digital camera and has a FB page? I don't know you, your friends', family, nor do I know/agree to your FB privacy settings. Further, and this is the real Crux: Once it is out there, it is out there forever and like I said, my husband I dont' post pics of our kids on the internet, why would we want/grant someone else that "right".
This link may help some parents that are concerned about their childrens' images being used without their consent:
https://www.facebook.com/help/contact.php?submit&show...
Incidentally, I'm not critical of mom's that are open with their own kids pics. But again, just wondering what you do with OPK"s images that happen to be in your kids' pics.
@Mz Kitty: The internet is called the "world wide web". Perhaps if your child's face was used by a stranger in Brazil, you would understand. Oh, you're saying the chances of a predator getting my child's image from your FB page are impossible?
And inappropriate shots have NOTHING to do with it. http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/25/fashion/25facebook.html...
Again, many parents are like me and they don't want their respective childrens' images out there on the WORLD WIDE WEB, of which FB is a part of. So, we don't have that right to protect our child's image if we ARE concerned??
@Denise: Not a tagging issue. My husband and I don't want our kids' FACES out there and do everything to protect it. Not dissing your option to post your kids' pics, but I don't want mine posted in your kids' pics. Make sense?
@Michelle: My question wasn't "How I should handle it?" Again, my question is specifically: " But what is your "rule" when you have pics of OPK's?" Do you post pics of OPK's that you don't know, barely know? Obviously, there exists mom's like me that have privacy issues. Knowing that, do you post pics of OPK's? If I were to upload a pic to FB, I would crop it first or blur out the OPK's images, realizing that their respective parents may have privacy issues to to their kids' face being "out there".
@Kristin: Thank you for understanding. I know that my kids are going to end up in others images, just like some kids will end up in ours. We don't post though but if we did, I would however, realizing that some parents have issues with their kids' faces being "out there", either crop or blur. Thing is, like DEB H said: when that pic is uploaded to FB, FB now owns that pic. If we delete it, it's not gone. I don't speak to parents I don't know and hope that most parents would be sensitive that not everyone feels as they do and either crop or blur. We certainly can't control it but like CHEERFUL M. said: "I always ask permission before I post pics of other people's kids. If I don't know the answer then I crop or blur them out. It's just good etiquette."
@Cheerful Mom! Awesome !! But do most parents follow good etiquette? T'is the question. That's where I become less optimistic and I have actually told my kids to "stand with their backs when I became aware they were in a "strangers" camera view.
I ask others to not post pics of me and my kid (even family) ... I do not have a face book but I would not post pics of other people's kids.
I post pics of my kids... we have family that we only see very far and in between and it more for them to see.
But my younger brother does not. He doesn't want his daughter "out there" either. So I am very conscious of pics I post. If there is a group photo of all the kids, I tag him and in box him if its ok. There has been times that he didn't want it and I gladly took it down ( those were mostly when she was younger) now he isn't as bad and has posted a couple of her on his wall and lets more pics slide as long as its a group photo.
Wow, I just read your question and planned to respond and then I read your SWH... Why do you have to be so rude to other moms? They took the time to respond to YOUR request.
Whatever anyone does is their business as far as their family goes. You can protect your FB account. Is there a chance some pic gets out there, well yes, but there is also a chance that I will be struck down by the satelitte supposed to hit the earth sometime tomorrow.
To each his own but GEEs... There is no reason to call out the moms like you did in SWH.
If you want to live under a rock so be it.... it does not mean you have to disrespect others and their views.
As for postings, yes I post my daughter's pics on MY FB page and I have seen her tagged on many friends' as well as friends's parents pages but I don't think that makes her a target for some predator. Common sense and using it helps keep you from predators.
I can hear the hate mail now....
It really isn't a big deal unless your kid or someone else is mooning you in the pic. If its just a normal shot of kids on the soccer field with his teammates I don't see what the big deal is? I would only be concerned about people taking inappropriate shots and posting them of my kids. And I don't post anything that isn't appropriate of anyone either.
And I don't think it has anything to do with the "age of the internet". I can pull of a NUMBER of photo albums off the shelf of when I was younger that has tons of pictures of my friends in it and I'm sure my mom didn't run around and get "permission" from their parents to put their kids pics in our family album that we are going to have FOREVER.
I just don't see what the big deal is to be so stressed out over it.
We all share photos on FB, gleefully. When I see a pic of my kid in FB, I love it. I save it and publish it to my page. Most of my family lives 6 hrs away and that's how we get to watch each others kids grow and stay connected with whats going on.
When we sign up to play sports, there is a photo release form that is signed. When you register your kids for school, there is a photo release form. When I registered my kids in church kids ministry, photo release form signed. Our kids coach sets up a fb fan page for each team and parents go to that page to share pics with each other. If you got a good angle on a shot of my son, I can snag it and save it to my page. Over the years it has worked out really well for all involved and noone has ever had a problem with it.
IMHO it seems you are being unecessarily snotty to Tracy K... she was relaying her thoughts on it that is all. Maybe you didn't mean it that way I dunno...
ADDED: Nope I was right.. your being purposely snotty, now your attacking people and reading into what they said and putting words 'into their mouths'.
I agree with MzKitty... I see posts like this all the time but I just don't get it. I mean really what do people think an image of their kid is gonna do?
Anyway, If someone asked me to, I might blur out the kids face. I post my pics on my FB page. The way I see it is if you are in public your fair game for me to take your pic. If your kid is with mine, in public, again fair game.
If you really don't want your children's faces posted, unidentified, anywhere, be prepared to ask every parent at every birthday party, sports event, etc. that your children participate in to not post pictures with your children in them. You will have to then regularly check everyone's Facebook pages, right click each picture with your child in it to save it to your computer, use editing software to distort your child's face, resave the picture and send the edited picture to the owner with a message explaining you not wanting your children's faces posted online, how you edited their picture to remove your child's face and asking them to substitute your edited picture for the one that is posted. Either that, or you will just have to relax and realize that, without being tagged or named in the caption, your children are anonymous and safe.
I also think you are being incredibly rude to some responders. I've received rude responses to posts before, but chose to take the high road and not sink to their level by not returning the sarcasm or antagonism. I think you would benefit from taking the high road yourself.
Jo W said it perfectly - if you don't want pics of your kid on the internet don't let anyone take pics of your kid. Your choice. If I take a picture and want to post it on FB that's my perogative. If you ask me to remove it I most certainly will.
I took a lot of pictures at my son's classmate's 5th birthday. I sent them to her mom, who has a FB account. If she wants her child's pictures posted, she can do it. Otherwise, I'd crop out other kids. I would never want to put my friends in a position where they'd feel uncomfortable with their children's pictures being on the internet.
I always ask permission before I post pics of other people's kids. If I don't know the answer then I crop or blur them out. It's just good etiquette.
However, if your child is in sports there isn't much you can do if other people take pictures other than ask them to remove them. I think most people would understand.
Are they tagged? If not, I can't see this being a big deal. Can you remove the tags, if they are tagged?
No, not really, if they are not tagged, no O. knows who they are anyway...all of these people (strangers) out there posting pix of your kids...
I ask people if they want their kid posted. If it's a cute picture of a friend's kid, I email it to the family and let THEM post or not. We also have the "no photos of our kid" rule and while not everyone understands, most do take down her photos. I feel that at this age she can't speak for herself on this so I have to, and when she is older, her privacy choices will be hers.
I know someone who had an issue where she was military and someone posted photos of her and her superiors ordered her to remove them...but Google cached them and they were still up even though they were deleted from the original site. Once they are out there, it is tough to call them back.
I post pics of my children on fb, but have my privacy settings set to friends only. I never put their pic on my profile pic or open them to friends of friends, etc. I have had a few friends take pics at a birthday party or other event and share those on fb. There is not much I can do about it unless I never let my children go anywhere photos are being taken. I understand your concern, but don't see things changing in the near future.
I post. If I had taken a shot and put it up on my wall and your kid was accidentally in it then any and all of my friends that came to my house would be able to see it and your child. I don't have many friends, about 20, and the rest are my family. They see my hard copies of pictures all the time...other kids or not.
L.
I do not have too many of my friends and family posting pictures of my kids. I do have privacy filters on my FB and I am selective on who to friend. I personally don't have an issue with it but respect someone else who does.
Are these people putting pics of just your kids up close? Or are they a pic of their kid shooting a goal or running down field with the ball and your kid(s) are in the backround running..not really a pic of them? If that's the case I wouldn't worry about it really. But if soome is posting a pick of thier kid and the pic is of say their kid and yours then I would ask them to take it down. Without sounding like a snot so you dont' become those crazy parents. I get your reasoning although I personally dont' see the big deal is but that's me not you. Good luck however you go about it.
My family knows I don't like it, and they are kind enough to avoid it.
You are right, too - once it's out there it's out there.
And it's not the same as having "hard-copy" pictures at home, either - not unless you have millions of people potentially visiting your home every year. Even if you have things marked "private" - FB still has them on their server and it's possible they could be hacked, etc.
It's a tricky issue and a good one to be aware of.
I'm very careful and don't post pictures of group situations or anyone outside my immediate family. As far as sharing with a class or scout troop or even a family event, I use Shutterfly Share sites because ON LY the members in that group can see the site.
Do I remember reading that once a photo is posted on FB it then becomes FB's property, not yours!?!? That stops me.
When you are in public you can have your picture taken by anyone. There are security cameras everywhere and they are taking your pictures. In other words there is only so much you can do to protect your children from having their pictures taken.
If you are that adamant about this issue you are going to have to talk to every single parent with a camera and let them know how you feel. When you do that you will run the risk of embarrassing your child. I think you should be very careful when you have that conversation.
There is no "protocol" in my opinion. It doesn't matter what other people do or don't do. All that matters is what you think. If you are the least bit uncomfortable with having your children's pictures posted on the internet, you are entitled to that feeling and to have it respected by others. As far as the awkward conversation, just keep it simple. "I'm not really comfortable with having my kids' pictures on-line, so I'm asking that you don't post them". People will have to respect your wishes. Your concerns are valid. Hold your ground, Mama.
Diana, I agree with you 100%. Facebook is not a place for children or their pictures. Who has the time for a fb anyway? My friends and family know not to post my kids photos on fb. if someone taggs me a photo I just remove it and if they are sharp, they will get it. I use my fb for my personal business, so lots of my contacts I'm not friends with but people I know but they know my kids. If you have a page of a few friends and relatives and private settings, then maybe but if your posts and pics reach out tons of people then not a good idea. It was shocking to me someone at the park
recognized my friends daughter from a friend of a friend's page. The other incident was when we were at the beach seperate person and another
child. These days, there are so many people who are heavily medicated, people who don't have good intentions not to mention all these arrests because of fb. I can't imagine someone I don't know personally was aware of my kids photos, interests, play area, parks, schools and most importantly updates of not so smart parents like " on the way to the park, movies, piano
practice, sleep overs" etc. Don't think because your setting are private, your fb information is also. There are a lot of softwares out there, people have access to all of information and all of children's info.
I blur out the faces of any additional children in my kids photos unless I have the okay from the parents to post. This holds true especially to children I don't know. It worked well for my son's preschool class photos too. The pictures were so cute I so wanted to post. It took awhile but I blurred out a lot of faces and was excited to finally post the pictures.
