Father Trying to Get Back into Child's Life

From my experience, he can fight for custody, but he has to prove you an unfi9t mother. You keeping records, is great, I was told to do the same. If there is going to be an adoption, then it has to be public and go in the paper to give him a chance to disagree. Seems the lawyer may have been a friend of his. Legal aid has never been able to help me. You need to find a lawyer out of your town. I a sorry to hear this is going on, I know how you are feeling. Amy in Kellerman's office in Batesville is great.

Christian friend
B.

If your lawyer was on retainer (meaning if you had given this lawyer money to represent you or to counsel you) then your lawyer violated lawyer/client confidentiality and will probably be facing charges from your local Bar association. Even if your lawyer was not on retainer, you do need to get with the Bar and report her. While you are talking to them, ask them about a program that will help you retain a decent lawyer and where you can apply for financial aid. Once you have a new lawyer, I would request a paternity test to establish legally that the father of your child is the father. From there the court can set the child support until the custody battle is decided. Don't worry though, courts still favor moms for the most part and since you recorded all the missed visits, you should have no problem getting full custody. I think that the ex is aware that he will probably not get custody but filing for it is usually the step to do in order to get visitation. I definitely recommend to you to get legal representation. Do not discuss this situation with anybody else (including friends), only with your boyfriend. If your boyfriend really would like to adopt your little girl (which I think is great), you should think about getting married before all of this goes to court b/c it will be in your favor. That is, of course, the two of you were planning on doing it anyway. This is a tough situation. A friend of mine went through it too. And after all was set and done, and she spent tons of money on a lawyer, her ex moved out of state , remarried and has not shown interest in his daughter again.

J.,
The road to hell is paved with good intenions...however the courts seek justice and truth.

Stand in your truth;confident of your willingness to allow your daughter to have a relationship with her father and his inability to put someone else unconditionaly before himself and his own needs. This will bring to light the real reason why thigs are the way they are..

The truth always prevails. Have Faith.

M.

your lawyer was completely wrong! I'd call around, ask for free consults and maybe someone will take your case pro bono. you are smart to keep all your papers with times and dates. i truly understand the full custody issue. my ex has been trying for over a year. he doesn't call the girls, his wife does. i will pray for you.

I am not sure what area you live in but I have a friend in Indiana who is going through a similar thing. Her lawyer has said that the father wont get full custody unless something drastic has changed with the living situation. So for that part dont sweat it so. As for the lawyer I would contact the State board and there is free legal aid in most states - check out the county you live in or call a lawyers office and ask where to go from there that you can obtain a lawyer who will be on your side. Good luck!!

Does he pay support for this child? If not, get in to child suport and get him to pay support from day one. that would be two and a half years worth plus every month until she is 18. It is very unusual for the courts to take custody away from the mother; especially when the father has not been available for over two years. I am assuming he can not find any reason to call you unfit.
Often the father will cave and sign the papers to relinquish his rights if he is faced with the prospect of paying a large sum of money for the next 16 years. The flip side being you would forgive the debt he already owes and he would allow your new husband to adopt the child. (I would not have a boyfriend adopt the child. That sort of commitment should only be given in marriage)
He is only doing this to get back at you. it is obvious he doesn't want the child.

I'm not sure how it works there where you live but I live in Columbus Ohio. here legal aid wont help with custody but my daughters father went and filed for custody and the first day of court they had me apply for a free lawyer. keep recording the log and try to make sure you have witnesses. Also here if you havent been married the mother automatically has custody until the court says otherwise. You could try to make a complaint about the lawyer to the State bar, you were her client so i dont see how her telling him anything could be right for her to do. Write down a list of anything that hes said or done, date it if possible. also if it goes to court they may allow you to get affidavits from other ppl who know of things that have gone on, Have them write out the statement and get it notorized. Ask for a guardian ad litem if possible. courts usually rule based on their opinions. sorry i couldnt help more.

contact the state bar association and file a complaint against your attorney. he is not allowed to be disclosing information concerning your case to your ex unless it was filed in the court as your "discovery" in this domestic suit. (that is the only way my ex was able to obtain my journal entries and visitation logs, b/c I used them as my discovery). it would be best to dismiss your attorney and retain a different one also.

don't quote me on this but I am pretty sure if the father is living he has to give permission for his child to be adopted by another man. my girlfriend went through this a several years back and I know the courts said that the father would have to be notified to make sure he wanted to give up his rights even though her ex was a dead beat dad and did not want to spend time with the child , and he would have to sign papers. so don't blame the lawyer ,I know it sucks to have a jerk for a father .so sorry for your little girl,
unforutally there is no law againist jerky fathers they seen to have all the rights. Even though they make the childs life a living hell. Good luck maybe he will be decent and sign .

J.,
I have been in that situation only the opposite side. My husband and I spent years fighting for his daughter. In Indiana even when the father is around and the mother is the problem, the father will not get full custody. ESPECIALLY if you keep a timeline of all the times he hasn't help up his end. He does have rights if he pays child support, but for him to get full custody he would have to prove you extremely incompetant. If you are not happy with your lawyer get a NEW one. Your lawyer should be fighting for you! We went through 3-4 lawyers before we found one that worked for us.

best advice I can give is keep documenting everything. That is what will hold up in court.
Good Luck