Family Hates Names I Choose?

Updated on August 15, 2013
L.B. asks from Coolidge, AZ
35 answers

Hello mamas!!
So..My family has this werid thing we like to do.When we are about 1 to 2 months pregnant,we choose two names (for each gender)And see if we can stick with it till birth (We can still change but its a game we like)With my daughter,i kept the name the whole 9 months.But anyway i choose two names..but my family hates it.Girl:Hallie Boy:Kayden.They call me the family has to many H's or K's!And tell me that there just plain dumb and i should change them.I honestly am heart broken.

Should i just change the name?
They told me the NAMES were dumb.Not me:)

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So What Happened?


I went over to my moms house and we talked.I thanked my mom for being honest and not being one of those people who are just like " your kid that name"My family loves to tell what the names are.And really..were just an honest family.We did kinda figure out though that these really arent the best names even though i love the name Hallie.I think we might move Kayden to Cole or something.


Featured Answers



answers from Chicago on

My mom misspells my newest child's name. She doesn't like the spelling we picked, so she spells it her way!!!!

Pick the name you like, to hell with what anyone says :-)

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Austin on

We did not tell even one person what names we were considering. No hints, nothing.

No one matters but what the parents think their child should be named.

I also never partake in the destroying of names under consideration or chosen at least in front of the parents..

My husband and I may privately say..
"They are going to seriously name their child" Bozo Carrot Top? Yikes.

2 moms found this helpful

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answers from Kansas City on

This is why I don't tell my family the names until the baby is born.

8 moms found this helpful


answers from Huntington on

Everyone hated the names we picked out, too, but love them now. It is easy to love (or at least accept) a name once it is attached to a person you love. So don't worry about it for now; I am sure that your family will get used to the names and like them in the end.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Miami on

Sorry, but I don't think you should continue this game. The baby isn't "real" to them and they have the audacity to say these things to you. Shame on them.

Hallie is not a dumb name. It is, however, a name from 100 years ago. (I know this because I have an ancestor whose name was Hallie.) I've never heard the name Kayden (I do know a boy named Hayden.)

If you want an in utero name, use one that is not a real name. My second son's in utero name was "Little Drummer Boy" because he kicked me all the time, and I felt like a drum because of it. Don't discuss possible names with your family. When your baby is born and you hold him or her, THEN decide what name "fits" your child.

You say that this game is something you like to do. But how much can you LIKE getting made fun of? You say your heart is broken. So stop already with this game. The GAME is what is dumb. NOT you.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Minneapolis on

I would not bring up the subject again, and not answer if asked outright. The only people with a vote in this are you and your husband. Most people who say negative things about a potential name, don't say a thing when the name is already attached to a baby.

I would never change a name I liked because of rude comments like these.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

You're hormonal, which is why you feel heartbroken. Name your child whatever you want. They're being idiots. Seriously. They can pick names for whatever child they carry in their bodies and give birth to.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from St. Louis on

Families are odd. Unless it is an awful name, ignore them.

I wanted to name my older daughter Christina, I love the name Christina. My ex's mom went on and on and on and on and on and get the idea, about how it won't work with our last name, too ethnic. Wish I knew then what I know now, arrogant assholes don't like Italians/Sicilians! They are freaking Bohemians! Seriously a bunch of gypsies dissing on Italians?? Whatever!

I named her Christine, figured just not worth fighting over a vowel. So two interesting branch stories. Every one of my ex's sisters have the initials KMK and every one of them have the middle name Marie. Yeah, exactly why was I listening to a woman who didn't realize there are actually more than one name that starts with M? Christine's middle name is Marie as is my middle name. I love my daughter, she can have my middle name but my first I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

Wana guess what their first comment was in the hospital? Yup, they spelled it wrong. Huh? C h r i s t i n e? Nope that is right! You don't want to continue the KMK? Why he hell would I continue that idiotic naming pattern? What can I say I was on good drugs. :) They actually prodded my ex into asking his attorney to put in our divorce decree that I had to change it to Kristine! She was 16!

The other funny branch was the next granddaughter was named Juliana, um, yeah, that isn't ethnic! Oh and the couple were English and Bohemian so where the heck did they find that name?

If you like the name, if you see it fitting, keep the name because saying there are too many Hs and Ks is a pretty dang stupid reason. Of course between my eight cousins there are six Christines and the other two don't have daughters. We like the name!

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Portland on

You shouldn't change the names you like. Rather, you should stop telling your family what your name preferences are since they can't be polite.

You don't really need my opinion about your choice of names. I am not raising your child. I don't *need* to like it.

Sometimes, it's nice to have something special just you and your husband can enjoy. I think names fall into this category. We did not 'vet' our son's name with family-- we just named him what we wanted and everyone just needed to keep their little nasty comments to themselves if they had any. I've never received any flak over it.

IMO-- Calling a name 'dumb' to an expectant parent is kind of dumb. I mean, unless you were suggesting Ted Bundy or John Wayne Gacy or some other criminal name, the onus is on them to just shut up.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Minneapolis on

If you love it, keep it.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Lansing on

I agree with others...time to stop playing this game and sharing the names.

Name them what you want...they are your children and you are the one that will be calling them by name every day for the rest of their lives.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Baton Rouge on

It's YOUR baby, name it what YOU want to name it and anyone who doesn't like it can be cordially invited to sit down and STFU.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from New York on

Don't change it. Not their child. I would not even discuss it with them.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from New London on

Personally, I think the names of the baby should be kept quiet until the day the baby is born...unless there is some kind of family emergency.

I think that this decision is to be made by the husband and wife.

I love, love, love names... and I could never imagine not naming a child w/out a hassel.

If u have another child do not stay in this game.

In the end, it's your child and your decision!

3 moms found this helpful


answers from San Diego on

Why do people feel the need to put their nose where it doesn't belong?
If you love the name and your husband loves the name than use it! It's not their baby. They get to name their own baby whatever they want to and they don't get to name any others.
When naming our 3 we told people what the name was. We didn't ask if they liked it. We simply told them this is it, this is how it is spelled and there were no further conversations about it.
We didn't go for traditional or popular either. Every single name is from a book, movie, TV show or all of the above that means something to us, that had strong characteristics that we admired and loved. Each name we gave our kids was picked with care and means something. They each have a first name, 2 middle names, and then our last name.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Pittsburgh on

Yes, I would change both names.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Tulsa on

If they aren't supporting you and are rude enough to call you dumb I would just stop telling them what names you like. That doesn't sound like a loving family and definitely doesn't sound like a fun game. You get to pick the name of your child, and don't deserve to be treated poorly because they aren't the names your family would like. I've never met a Kayden, but think Hallie is a classic!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Oklahoma City on

I love your choices! A lot of kids these days are named Kayden or Kaden. Hallie is one that I haven't heard in a while. I like them both.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Norfolk on

My husband and I discussed names.
(He wanted John. We already had 5 Johns in the family already between his side and mine. I was dead set against it.)
I even talked about names with my friends/co-workers.
I never really talked about names with my Mom.
She was convinced we'd have a girl - we didn't.
Really - right up to his birth, we weren't sure what we were going to call him.
But once we saw him, one name seemed to be just right.
We used my husband's middle name as our son's middle name.
And we chose a Welsh variation of John - no one else in the family has it.
It's never been in the top 10, but we do come across other boys with the same first name from time to time.
We never asked anyone's approval.
We just printed up the birth announcements with the name we chose and that was that.
It was important that Hubby and I liked the name.
It wasn't important that anyone else liked it.
But they do anyway - I've never heard a single derogatory comment or else our family is too polite to say things like that out loud.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Denver on

I really like both names. Can't believe people on here are actually criticizing them after you expressed your hurt... I agree that doesn't sound like a fun game especially if your family is inconsiderate enough to call them dumb. I would keep the names to yourself from here on out.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Boston on

I don't personally like them, especially the boy, but if you do, just keep them and tell your family they will adjust.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from San Francisco on

If my family thought my tastes were dumb, and jerks enough to tell me to my face WHILE I was pregnant, I wouldn't be sharing much more with them, that's for sure.
What a-holes, they need to learn how to keep their opinions to themselves.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Phoenix on

You should tell them that you will change them. Say something like, "So, I took your advice and changed the names. Girl: Kallie Boy: Hayden." LOL!

But in all seriousness, pick the names, stick with them and don't tell anyone what you've decided. Then introduce them with their given names when they are born. I made the mistake of telling my in laws the names I picked for my youngest and I had choosen Bell as a first name if I had a girl and allowed them to talk me out of it. They said Bell was a cow's name. To this day, I wish I had named my youngest Bell, which means beauty, and she is absolutely beautiful both inside and out and the name would have suited her perfectly. Don't let them rain on your parade.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Boston on

Did this tradition develop for the express purpose of inviting criticism and seeing if you can "stick with it" no matter how much control others tried to exert? It's not a "weird" thing, it's a contest. It doesn't sound like it's a game you really "like" as you say, because now you are heartbroken because they say your chosen names are dumb.

I'd get off that roller coaster immediately.

Tell your family that there are worse things than "too many H's or K's" - I have a friend whose husband's family names everyone, and I mean everyone, with J names. By the third generation, it's getting difficult! I have another friend who has 2 siblings who are much older, a brother and sister. The brother's name is David, and both he and his sister (close in age) named their sons David. So 2 first cousins have the same name. My father's family kept recycling the same names so he was Bob and had a first cousin Bob, his brother Dick had a son Dick and another one named Bob, and both my father and his brother Dick married women named Dottie. His cousin Bob married a woman named Bobby. It's ridiculous!

And then there are the people who give first names that don't go with last names: Penny Nichol, Holly Hach, Holly Wood, Candy Cane, and so on. (These are all people I know!)

Stop letting people control you. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

Tell them the names are not up for a vote. And then you wait til the baby is born and introduce little Kayden/Hallie/Whoever. It is YOUR child and you give him/her the name you want. If there are "too many" Ks and Hs, then it sounds like the problem was already there well before this child.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Richmond on

No. I think they are very cute. Don't let your family bully you into doing something you don't want to do. I have 3 boys and my hubby and I researched the names we wanted for our children. To tell you the truth, we had to cut off a friend or two because they REALLY disliked our choices and were rude enough to express on more than one occasion that our kids wouldn't get jobs w/ names like those. Ugh. When I think of some of the names I've come across (like women who named their kids Aquafina and Dasani {I kid you not}) you have nothing to worry about! LOL

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

I like them both to be honest. Kayden was a name on my list for a while, but it was not my first born son's name - you know!

One thing that I learned and I pass on to others is to keep names to yourself. The only people that need to hear them are the parents. Once you have named your child then share the name. People are less likely to be rude about your choices when it's attached to a child you know.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Colorado Springs on

The more you use the names, the more your family will come to love the names and when the baby is born it will seem very natural for that wonderful beautiful baby to be named that name. Say the names mean love and goodness to you. : ) You are the one to choose, and if you like the name, they can learn to love the name too. I think they are good names.


answers from Washington DC on

Both names are super common right now, but I like them all the same. My first son would have been Kaden, if it didn't go too closely with our daughter's name.

I ignored people's comments on my kids names. They didn't have to like them. I'm not a HUGE fan of my sister's baby names, but I will love that child regardless of his/her name, so I don't care and I tell my sister I love it - I will come to love it.

My niece was supposed to be Michaela...I HATED that, mostly because her dad's name is Michael and he wanted to name his son and daughter after himself - really?!?! Thank God my sister didn't let him and she has a gorgeous, classic name.

You pick a name YOU and your husband like and let everyone else wait until the birth, then they won't care. And who gives two flips what the other people in the family name their kids?


answers from New York on

My niece is currently pregnant and they are not sharing the names with anyone. I think it's a great idea. In your case where you've already selected names just say "My baby so my name choice. When it's your baby it'll be your name choice."

Personally I didn't care for my oldest grand daughter's name. I call her by a nickname. Was it up to me to say anything about the name choice? Nope. Not my baby so I don't get any say.



answers from Wausau on

Keep the names to yourself and announce it after the birth. They will have to get over it at that point.



answers from Colorado Springs on

Does the family give problems when anybody chooses a name, or is it just you and your husband who get the treatment? Or is it their reaction that is the "weird thing"?

Please don't discuss this any more with the relatives. Decide with your husband what name(s) you want to give your new child, and announce it when the baby is born. If they still don't like the name once they see your cute baby, they really have a problem.



answers from Portland on

We didn't tell anyone our name selections until we announced the babies were born and what their names were. We had people say they didn't like our son's name after he was born, but we love it and realize the person who commented has children with very common names. Name your baby what feels right to you and your partner. That's all that matters.



answers from Washington DC on

Which is why we never told anyone what names we were considering. No copycats, no suggestions and no negativity. They certainly wouldn't say that at the hospital after birth. "Well hello grandson Kayden. I think your name is dumb!" They're going to feel really dumb if you choose Hallie or Kayden.

BTW, we're a family that names all their kids beginning with the same letter.


answers from Santa Fe on

This is exactly why we told NO ONE our names until after our kids were born. Ignore what they say. I know it is hard...but totally ignore them. Those are great names...very nice. When my first was born I told my mom his name and she came right out and said, oh, I don't like it. She thought it was a weird name (it's an older name). Now my son is 9 and since he has been 2 she has told me over and over she thinks it's the coolest name and it fits him perfectly and she can't imagine him being named anything else. The names you picked are cool names too! I don't think you should change them at all.

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