Facebook for Teens - Fond du Lac,WI

Updated on December 14, 2010
D.G. asks from Milwaukee, WI
14 answers

I do not favor FaceBook for children. My 13 year old daughter begs me to let her have an account but I feel that kids are giving too much info out to the whole world on there. They constantly post where they are , who they are with and what they are doing for everyone to see. I don't like that at all. I know they can block people and not share all of their info but I just don't feel comfortable about it. I have an account and I read the things her friends write and wonder why it is necessary to even go on there to say " I'm with so and so" or " I don't want to go to school tomorrow". Her friends already post if they're going to hang out with her and where they'll be and I don't like everyone knowing all that info especially in todays world. I don't like the fact that kids have all this communication with older kids that they wouldn't be talking to if it weren't for this site. To me it's another thing I would have to spend time monitoring and I refuse to. Am I the only parent who feels this way? I am not old fashioned I just like to be aware of who is talking to my daughter (you can't see who they're chatting with) and want to know that they're aren't any older boys going to meet up with her when they see where she is or people I don't want her hanging out with.

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answers from Jacksonville on

I completely agree!! I have a 12 yr old that I refuse to let have one too...I have heard a bazillion times.. "ALL MY FRIENDS HAVE ONE" .. to which I respond "I am not thier mother!". I also refuse to accept friend requests to my nieces, nephews, cousins, ect that are under 15. Not being mean.. just not going to support what I do not agree with. YOU ARE RIGHT! STICK TO YOUR GUNS!!

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Minneapolis on

I guess I am the opposition here. I have a 16 year old daughter who is on the A honor roll, has a small group of good friends (most are honor roll kids as well...band and choir or art type kids)..and they all have FB, as do I. My daughter and I have for about 2 years I guess. She and I are "friends"...many of her friends parents are her "friends"..and I am also a "friend" to many of her young teen pals. Occasionally I see one of them post something..usualy swearing, that I will point out to her, but it is not the norm. I do trust her, but with caution.I have monitored her profile set up..privacy settings, etc. We use it as a fun tool, and also as a sort of business tool for both of us. She got into an Arts High School this year, "liked" the schools page, so was able to socialize and "meet" some of the students before ever going there, which proved a great tool! Now we are using it to research colleges the same way. It can be great for this sort of networking, if done right and used cautiously.

We love FB..connecting with far away relatives, closer to us friends, for serious things and for over all fun and silly stuff. We are careful and regularly change and update our settings. And we trust our daughter, for her end of things. As I said, many of her friends parents are linked to her, as I am with her pals. That helps, for me. I am on there as much as she is.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Redding on

If you're not comfortable with it, don't let her have an account.
I'm not comfortable with the whole thing either. I have a facebook account and never even check it. My relatives talked me into it when we were planning a family reunion and that was the end of that for me.

Best wishes.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Rochester on

My daughter is 11 and she's had a Facebook account since she was 10. Almost all of our family lives 12 hours away so its a great place for her to keep in touch with family and share pictures and she likes to play some of the games on there. I set the account up so only her friends can see her profile and I have the password and she knows I can get on it anytime which I do once in awhile. She chats with her friends on there which I can't see but you have to trust that you raised a good daughter to make the right choices. To be honest if they are going to do something you don't like they are going to do it with or without Facebook. How is it any different then if they were talking on the phone you can't here the whole conversation and your not going to stop their friends from posting something about them. So I'd rather she had one of her own and then I can see everything she writes and her friends.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Philadelphia on

Three of my four kids have a fb. So does my husband and i. My parents, grandfather, almost 90 yr old great aunt and tons of other family...all have a fb. I am sure there are "immature" people on there as B says. There are immature people everywhere. FB is such a great tool to keep in touch with family and friends. I am connected to family in Italy :)

I have my kids passwords. I have personally made it so their accounts are private. The most private setting. I check their accounts and they know that. I would rather be involved and monitoring then not knowing they have a page. You would be shocked at how many kids have a page and their parents said no. Or have a "parent friendly page" and a page for their friends. My daughters are very open with me. I am connected to many of their friends.

I don't see a problem with fb or a 13 yr old having one. Everything in life has risks and dangers. As long as you are monitoring and talking with your daughter openly everything should be ok. Make sure she is aware of the dangers and listening to your fb rules :)

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Norfolk on

I hate Facebook. There are WAY too many immature people using it and I'm not even talking about the kids who have an account who lie about their age when they are younger than 13. There's many a teen who ends up having to get their data scrubbed/deleted before they can find a job because HR depts eliminate SO many job candidates this way. People have lost jobs over just joining a group their company objected to. That doesn't even touch on the cyber bullying. My son will be a lot closer to 18 (or moved out on his own) before he has a Facebook account.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from La Crosse on

I have one friend with a 12 year old daughter who routinely comes to her crying because of a nasty remark one of her so called "friends" have made. She is popular and fun...but girls will be girls.

We have a local woman (early 30s) with a serious reputation for rather loose morals (she has been known to proposition men who stay at the hotel she manages for $$). She has friended numerous boys in my sons 4th grade class?!? WHY would that be appropriate?

There are way too many ways for kids to get into trouble...and facebook and myspace multiply that by a million. Kids just don't get why they can't tell all their "friends" where they will be...and why everyone isn't their friend.

I also have a friend whose daughter has two facebook pages....one mom knows about with cute little comments and rated G conversations. She has another where her true self comes out. Mom thinks all is well, but you would be shocked by the stuff this kid writes on her secret page.

Stick to your guns. My kids will not have social networking sites until they live somewhere besides under my roof. The benefit is so minimal compared to the risk to their safety, the self image, and their attitude.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

I have a 13 year old son, and 15 year old daughter that I allow to use facebook. My husband and I have separate accounts too and have them as friends, which I encourage. I actually have my children's fb information, so I can even log onto it as them. Not that I go snooping, but I do have it, more for personal use on farmville but that's another story. I get to see all who they are friends with and what is going on. Not to mention mommy embarrassment with the occasional "I'm so proud of you" to their wall.

I knew a lot of people in middle/high school that the more their parents would try to stop them from doing things the more they would try to do it. Not saying you should allow them to do anything they want, but I feel there is a lot worse things that facebook out there. I don't look at it as something I have to monitor, but an opportunity to see what's going on with my children. Do you seriously think your child tells you everything?. Do you think her friends are as good as they are in front of you? Let me tell you it will give you a better insight on what's going on. As a parent I don't feel it's bad thing, you do see what's going on with them and you see their friends and their friends.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

I guess I am the opposition as well. My almost 16 yr old has had MySpace and Facebook. FB is by far the best one. I am on it a lot as well.

She is all honors, co cpatian of cheer squad, orchestra, and it is not harming her. If anything, a prospective employer would see the positives.

Of course some of the kids have horrid language, bully and yes, at some point an employer would not look kindly on it, HOWEVER....they are kids and not expected to act like responsible adults at 13. GEES.

Set the privacy on the highest levels, be open and communicate with her, I have daughter's log in and password and I check at random times.

If you are smart about it, you can have it and it work out well for you. She can't live under a rock all her life you know.

Be open, honest and communicate with her... If you start forbidding things, rest assured you will be left out of the loop and she will go behind your back.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

Oh Please. Facebook is what you make of it. My 13-year-old has one. My older daughter had myspace years ago, and now has facebook. Our family is spread across the country and it's a great way for them to keep in touch with their cousins, aunts, uncles, and yes even grandparents, etc. They all are on it. They communicate with each other every day and look at pictures and share stories. It has helped us become more connected to our family and stay that way. I personally think it's great.

Sure, people can misuse it. My kids know how I feel about that. And I can see what they are posting and doing. I set up the security on my younger daughter's account.

You are going to make your daughter be the odd one out if you don't allow her to at least try facebook and share responsibly with others. You can help her set it up so the security features meet your standards. You can also give her guidelines and rules to follow. My daughter knows if she participates in drama (or shares her whereabouts, etc.) she will lose her facebook privileges.

This is what the kids are doing these days so you might as well get used to it. Kids can get into trouble without facebook too! My friends sure did 30 years ago.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Atlanta on

Hi Destiny,

13 is way to young for a facebook. I allowed my youngest a facebook at 13 and most of the time everything was fine. She has many friends from out of town that are good friends from our church denomination that she wants to keep up with. The problem is the "one" person that slips in and starts turning their head. I monitor her facebook EVERY DAY as well as my 18 year old's facebook and for the most part everything is fine but things can fade slowly and you have to be very diligent to "catch on." A friend of a friend can do a lot of damage quick. I personally wish they would get bored with it and go back to spending time on the phone.

There are also ways that they can hide things from you. If you do allow her to have one make sure you have her user name and password. That's the only way to see everything.

God bless....




answers from Tulsa on

On FB kids that are listed as 13 to 18 are not open to the public. Their profiles are hidden and cannot be searched unless they have gone in and changed a privacy settings to be public. I have read the privacy policy and they are very strict. My kids all have them and I am on their accounts as much as I am on mine. They always for get to harvest a crop or collect their rents so it's easy for me to check and see what's going on with them.

I think it is a thing that we will have to get used to. Kids are growing up in a world that is more computerized and they are going to be on, either at home or at a friends house with an alias so you won't know about them being on it.


answers from Lubbock on

I agree that it can be dangerous. I think you should have a talk with her about the dangers of the internet, and express to her that she should only talk to people that she knows personally and not to try to "meet up" with any one she doesn't know.
Have you thought about making a profile for yourself? It's not just for kids, my parents are in they fifties, and they have a facebook. You can be friends with her on there, and see all of her posts, who she is friends with, her pictures, etc.. If you ever have an issue, you could discuss it with her. I would definately make myself one before letting her have one.
Maybe you could give it a try. Give her a trial run, and if it doesn't go so well, delete it.
Part of growing up is trust; trust that you raised her to make good decisions. I bet she could surprise you =)
Best of luck!


answers from Chicago on

I let my 13 yr old have a FB account. My husband and I also have accounts. I have her password and constantly monitor what she does. I think its a great way to moniter what her and her friends are up to. I also have some of her friends as my friends to make sure I know what's going on in their lives.
Its also a great way for us to keep in touch with our family. Most of our family members have accounts so my daughter can keep in touch with her relatives as well.
We make sure to keep all our info private and she has rules. So far everything works out well.

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