Facebook - Portland,OR

It's against Facebook rules to have an account under the age of 13.

If you proceed, you should ABSOLUTELY have her password and full access to her account.

You should also talk with her about privacy settings and online safety, if you haven't already.

you'll have to lie to get her a FB account.
shouldn't that trump everything else?
khairete
puzzled S.

didn't even read the other responses.....sorry, mamas!

Absolutely, you should have access to ALL of her communications.

If you're going to let her have an account, you must absolutely have full access. Heck, I'd insist upon access until they were 18! Too much cyber-bullying and sexual content for a 12 year old to handle on her own. Be ready for drama, because even as a 41 year old, I've experienced drama on Facebook.

Is this a serious question?? Um, YES you should have every bit of info that goes on facebook! Personally, I would not let my 12 year old have one at all, but if I did, I'd be on there every day seeing who she is talking to and about what. Without certain privacy controls, anyone could see who/what/where she is and you could be inviting all kinds of trouble for your child.

Facebook rules say 13, children are supposed to be 13 before having a facebook account. To create the account you would have to lie about her birthdate. I personally do not think that is the right thing to do. My children won't have Facebook until they are 13 (at the earliest) and that is assuming Facebook is even a thing in 11 years. :)

If my child was still in my home, I would know their password and check in everything they were doing. I'm kind of hoping your question is a joke.

The age limit set by FB is 13. If they find out your daughter is almost 12, they will cancel her account.

Follow the rules...she is not old enough yet according to facebook. My daughter turned 13 in August and we are still holding her off. Lots and lots of drama come from fb. Seriously, set the example of honesty, don't let her lie about her age and get one when she clearly isn't supposed to, just my two cents, I know it wasn't your original question but I just couldn't help myself from answering this way.

I didn't read all of the other responses, but I have a hunch they all give the same advice. Absolutely have her pass-codes, and inform her that you will be doing random checks. It's not snooping if she knows your going to do it. My daughter is 15 now and I have access to her page and will continue to randomly check on it until she's 18 because I'm the mom and that's my job. And incidentally, Facebook does have a 13 year old age requirement so you will have to lie about her age to get her a page, so also consider what kind of message that is sending to her before you set up her account.

FB age requirement is 13. I would wait til she is a bit older--if you choose not to, at least have all the passwords etc. What you put on the internet is permanent. GL

M

I respect that you have made your choice, I do not agree with it but I can and will agree that you OWN that facebook page and everything on it seeing that YOU will be the one responsible for anything that goes on. So, yes you have her password, yes, you montior it daily and yes you access EVERYTHING and let her know you will and do. In fact, do it WITH her frequently, see when she gets nervous and when she is eager to share and take mental notes or write them all down. Basically BE IN CHARGE of ther online life, she is 12!

Well, I would only allow my daughter to have a Facebook account under the strict rule that I have access at all times. There is no reason for you to not have full access to her account. Facebook is not a place for kids, and in my opinion 12 years old is too young to have an account. You will have to lie about her age because you have to be at least be 13 years old to have an account. I also feel 13 is to young as well! I will not allow any of my kids to have an account until they are at least 15 or 16 years old!

Why fb at this age? You are looking for trouble. What networking does she need at this age?

If you let her have a facebook, you should have access to her passwords. If she changes them without your knowledge, she either has to give it to you or you will report her to facebook as being underage for one and it will get shut down.
You should have her using her facebook with you in the room, and just in case she's on it without you there, you should check it every couple of days.
Check her friends, to make sure you know them.
Check her pics, to make sure they are appropriate.
Check her personal information, to make sure they don't give away too much.
Set guidelines that, at NO TIME, should she put her phone number, address, or any other personal information on there.
Personally set her security strength, so that only friends of hers (and not even friends of friends) can see her pics, info, or posts.
A condition of having a facebook is that you are her friend so you can monitor from your facebook as well.

It's not about trusting you daughter or whether or not she is a good girl. It's about the fact that there are people who can have access to her that you don't want to have access to her, and you need to make sure she is protected.

I will wait until my daughter is a little bit older, but you are the mom and this is your choice. When I do it, it will be with the above guidelines.

BTW, my daughter's name is L. and so was my mom's. Great name!!

L.

I think it would be wise for you to have the password and make her aware that you will be looking at it. It's a forum that can be an easy place to get her feelings hurt. Look how sensitive some ladies are here on this site. As long as you continually read her page and see what's being posted you'll know things are going okay or you can help her if someone starts bullying her.

Have access, set her account so people can not search for her too! There are MANY sickos on facebook who are looking for sex, pics and more (trust me I have had a few contact me, which spurd me to set my profile as such no one can search for me, only can be found through a friend or if I find you).

Let her know you have access, will check randomly, if she changes her password she must give you the new one and if she forgets she gives it to you right away or she will lose the right to have a facebook account. Rules are pictures are for friends and family only, have to be decent pictures,what she writes has to be decent as well, friends will be deleted if they have crude pictures or disrespectful language (no swearing, no bad talking about others and so on).

You should absolutely have access to her chats, her passwords, her texts, her phone conversations...her life. You are her mother! If your daughter is embarrassed by you being able to see what she says or writes than it probably means that it's inappropriate and shouldn't have been said in the first place.
L.

If you can, I would avoid facebook like the plague. Twelve is too young. So many fights start on facebook then these kids see one another in school. It makes many uncomfortable and unnecessary situations. I've seen it. I have a babysitter who is 15 who is a friend of mine on facebook and the stuff that she posts on there and what others write to her, is just appauling. If you do get an account for your daughter, you definitely need to know all her passwords to view her chats. In fact, you should friend her yourself and be on her facebook account to keep an eye on her. It's not so much as to what your daughter is posting, but what are others postiing to her that you need to be aware of especially with bullying.

Just my 2 cents,

M

No,no, and no. Shes not even old enough, she would have to lie about her age. Thats a good idea huh?

too young, and whenever she gets one (if she is still at home), you MUST have access and monitor it. You are basically inviting strangers into your home with anything internet related. scary stuff.

My dd is 13, will not have FB until HS-prob closer to college age. She isn't even interested, but I feel like she needs to learn how to use it, like learning to pay bills or do laundry, in this day and age.

we know a girl who belongs to our church, is in college to be a kindergarten teacher, and whose profile picts is of her boobs (under clothes, but still, very obvious). you don't think that is going to hurt her job prospects? Kids don't make good choices, even the good kids.

Facebook says you need to be 13.
My kids are 19 and 16 and I have their passwords.
YMMV
LBC

I set up each of my grandkids FB accounts. Of course you should have access. She is a child and supposed to make mistakes while in the confines of a safe environment. I would never let my kids do anything on-line that I did not have complete access to. She does not have to know you have it if you think it will be an issue.

Personally? I think 12 is too young for a FB account. The rules are 13.

If you are going to do this, monitor it. Have full access to messages and wall postings....if you think things on HERE can get nasty - it can get worse on FB between teenage girls and boys.

Read up on the kids that have committed suicide (Phoebe Prince) because of the bullying they received...not just on the school yard, but on FB as well. Look at what that one mother did to a young girl - Meagan Meir - it's bad.

I would tell my child that as long as they are under my roof, I will have access to things like this. don't like. don't sign up.

The sooner you provide access to Facebook and other social networking sites or games, the sooner your daughter will start living a reality life, instead of a real one. 12 is a young and impressionable age - consider Facebook in a few years.

Yes, at this age I believe you should be allowed access to it through passwords AND you should be friends with her through your account so you can monitor that way as well. As she gets older and more mature, you can allow her to change the password, but you should still be able to see everything on her page. I knew one lady who when she started to let her daughter have her own access to the page, she still required to be friends with all of her friends as well. She also set up the pages to where any of the "notification" e-mails went to the mom's personal account, not the daughters. It worked great. Now the girl is 18 and has good knowledge about how to present herself online.

I don't have a 12 year old, but I am pretty certain that if I did, I would have the password to his/her facebook account...and I would also probably use it. I would recommend making it a condition that you are friends with her as well - that way you don't necessarily need to use the password - you can see what some of what she is up to without feeling like you are invading her privacy.

Do you read her mail or listen in on her phone conversations? I never did. I'm a big advocate of talking to children every day about everything and listening to what they say back. That is how you find out information.

My step daughter is 12 (soon to be 13) and has a FB account. Her dad set it up so he was sure to to set the privacy settings. He also has her log on ID and password, she has never ojected to him having access. We both have her in our friends list and we have never had a problem. I think when kids have something to hide then the trouble begins.

I have my 16 yr old's password and I check her FB about once or twice a week.

12 certainly needs to be monitored, there are a lot of crazies out there and only you can go through the privacy channels to make sure she is set up with highest level of privacy.

On top of all that, she is 12 and FB has rules for being at least 13. Why are you pushing it?

I would not dream of not monitoring a 12 yr old and I am one of the most open minded, lenient moms on this site.

Shelley S., just friending her won't do it. You'll need the password because if the kid is savvy enough, and most kids are, she'll be able to figure out how lists work and put you on a restricted one so that you only see SOME content... not all content. Privacy settings are there to protect you, but they can also be used to hide content. I have my family in one list, my friends in another list and people from work in yet a third. Whenever I post something I pick what lists, or in g+ terms what "circles", I want to have access to every post on a post by post basis. Some things I'd post to my friends, and that my parents wouldn't care to see, like nerdy video game articles or political rants, I keep them from seeing with the cunning use of lists!

I read all the responses.

I agree with all the warnings on all that could happen. Its nice to want to do something nice for your daughter, but this is at least one year too soon.

Read and heed all the warnings and be wary. Better safe than sorry.

Good luck to you and yours.

facebook is the devil

Just friend her on Facebook and you'll pretty much be able to see everything she's doing on the site. Then it's all out in the open...

I would know her pass words and let her know that I can look at it when I choose.

Doesn't FB require you be 14 to have a page? I know kids are having them before that but that means they are lying about their age. I don't want anyone online to think my child is older than he/she really is.

She is under your care. Get her password and stay on top of things. It can get out of hand unless she knows you know what is going on.

N.

If you have her password, then you can access her IM's, but that is probably the only thing different than just being her friend on FB. My daughter is only 5 so I haven't had to deal with this, but I am not 100% sure what I would do. I guess I better start thinking about that. :-)