Extended Breastfeeding, 25 Weeks Pregnant, and No More Milk

Updated on June 22, 2010
H.A. asks from San Francisco, CA
11 answers

Hi there,

My daughter is 2 3/4 (will be 3 in September) and I am 25 weeks pregnant. For the past 9 months she has been breastfeeding just at night, before going to sleep. The past few nights she's told me that there's no more milk coming out, and may she have a glass of milk before going to sleep. My first reaction was, "yippy, she's weaning herself!" (I wanted her to stop when she was ready, not take breastfeeding away from her, because she loves it) But now I'm feeling so guilty that she's being forced to quit.

I'm wondering, is it common for breast milk to stop when pregnant? And do any of you have a good way to explain this to my little girl? Of course, she doesn't NEED the breast milk and has been drinking from a cup for about a year or two. But telling her she's a big girl now won't makes sense (since she's been a big girl for a long time and still breastfeeding), and I don't want to mention the pregnancy as the cause or she might be resentful of the new baby. Any ideas?

Thank you,


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So What Happened?

Oh, thank you all for your really sweet responses. I was kind of afraid I was going to get comments like, "isn't it about time, she's almost three years old!". :)

You're all right, she seems fine about it. It's ME who's having a hard time with the change... that and a new baby coming!

Thank you again for your kind replies.

More Answers



answers from Austin on

LOL - I just went through a similar experience with my 2 1/2 year old and me being 4 months pregnant. She started "self-weaning" when I was about 10 weeks and now she's completely off. She said "milks gone." My milk started slowing down dramatically when I was about 7 weeks pregnant so it didn't surprise me. She didn't seem to mind at all. Also, I knew I was probably going to wean her this summer before I even knew I was pregnant so I started explaining to her that "momma's milk" was for babies and she's not a baby anymore.

The other day she was watching me get dressed and she asked me "what are those" and I replied " you know what those are." She smiled and said "momma's milk for babies" and I said "yes, will you help mommy give your new brother/sister momma's milk" and she said "yes." I'm sure it won't be as easy as that when the time comes but I figure its best to prepare her as much as possible. Plus, for the most part I think we don't give them as much credit for knowing what is going on as we should. I think they know and I think just as adults, sometimes they choose to ignore it =)

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Gainesville on

I think as moms we over-think things sometimes. You absolutely can't feel guilty about it! She's almost 3 and you've done a wonderful job for her. It sounds like she's being pretty ok with no more milk and being pretty mature about it by asking for a cup of milk. Doesn't sound like she's really upset about it.
You might even try just making her a cup of warm milk before bed tonight and give it to her while you snuggle. I think you will have to explain to her that sometimes the mommy's body knows when big girls are ready for cups only or something like that because she will see you nurse the new baby. Or you can just tell her that it's all gone right now. Kids usually only need a very simple explanation.

And it can happen that the hormonal changes cause the breastmilk to dry up during pregnancy. It doesn't happen to everyone who nurses while pregnant. I think our bodies are amazing things and know when they need to direct energy in other directions. It's like your body knows your daughter has gotten the amazing benefits of breastmilk and your body needs to fully focus on the growing baby. Every body is different and your body is telling you what it needs to do right now.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from San Diego on

I would be honest. She can comfort nurse if she wants and it is mutually agreeable to you. You can just say mommy's bodies change and sometimes there isn't always milk for bigger girls. You don't have to mention the baby at all.

She may show some interest in nursing once the baby is here and you may want to let her.

I am tandem nursing my 8 month old and 32 month old. It was an awesome way to ease the transition to having a brother in the house. I have heard that toddlers sometimes can't learn to relatch.

It didn't sound from your post that she is having any issues with it...just you feeling guilty, No need for that. You are one of the few who chose to extended breastfeed and give your toddler such great benefits.

You can find another way for you guys to be close now. Set up a different bedtime routine. Although my older son nurses, I do limit the time and then I "make him warm and cozy". He loves that and asks to be made "warm and cozy" when he's tired.

good for you mama and congrats on the new one to be!!!! No guilt! No reason! You have done great by your daughter!

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answers from Dallas on

It might be a good question to ask your OBGYN in terms of supply and demand. It may be a blessing in diguise as juggling two on the breast could be challenging and the resentment could have come as a result.
As a mommy it is perfectly normal to feel guilty for a whole number of things:) but this is definately one you should cut yourself some slack. I agree not to say anthing in terms of baby/pregnancy being the reason, but you all have already established she is a "big girl" and there are a lot of steps in the process and this is just another one of those steps in growing and getting bigger. Maybe celebrate this "next step" with a special nightime cuddly or a new nightime ritual, etc.
congrats and best of luck.



answers from Phoenix on

If she isn't upset then I'd let it go. It sounds like she explained it herself "no more milk." Don't feel guilty, you didn't take it away, your body is probably making the adjustment to provide for your next little one. I stopped nursing my son at 2 and then tried to nurse a couple of week later because of guilt. He tried to nurse, then laughed and said "no more milk." LOL Congratulations on nursing for so long and congratulations on your little one! Blessings!



answers from Albany on

Yes it is normal for the milk to stop. I don't usually watch the Duggars but read once that that is how she tells when she is pregnant again...the "current" baby will get fussy at the breast because he/she isn't getting enough anymore. As for "explaining it to her", just tell her that your body isn't making any more milk because she's such a big girl and needs milk from a cup now. I wouldn't stress about it too much as she seems to not really care being she just goes on to ask for a cup anyhow. You can still cuddle her while she drinks from her cup.


answers from Oklahoma City on

If she's asking for a cup of milk I don't think you need to explian anything at all to her... she said there's no more milk and shes fine with it! If you want to tell her that it's just for babies and your body needs to get some ready for the new baby. She sounds perfectly fine with it though.
( I lost my milk by the time i was 4 month pregnant every time)



answers from New York on

It is common for milk to dry up, especially when you have an older child. This is a normal and natural thing. If she is upset by then by all means you can do all the things you mention. But it is just as likely that she will be okay with it and move on. Then you won't have to deal with her wanting to nurse when the baby comes and really needs the milk.

If she isn't bothered by it I don't feel that you need to make a big deal out of it. She can make a calm and natural transition.



answers from New York on

Breastmilk usually stops or tastes different during pregnancy. 25 weks is a long time. Your daughter is almost three and old enough to understand how the body works. Simply explain that all women dont have milk. You get it when you have a baby and it goes away again. As the baby starts eating more and more,the milk gets less and less. Do you see 5 years old nursing? When you have another baby you get milk again for the new baby and the same thing will happen again. Mommys laps never go away though!



answers from Dallas on

Nursing may be harder while Pregnant because you produce less milk during pregnancy. Be sure to drink plenty of fluids. Staying well hydrated help keep up your milk supply. Plus, breastfeeding can dehydrate you, which can be dangerous to the baby.

One more thing: Breastfeeding is a big leach on calcium, so it's important to keep your calcium intake up. This isn't a problem for the baby – babies always get the calcium they need from your body. But you might not get what you need, so it's a good idea to ask your doctor about calcium supplements.



answers from Chicago on

It is very common for breastmilk to reduce or completely stop while pregnant. It's kind of like your body's way of helping you to prepare for the new child. Your daughter should be able to understand since she's the one that told you there's no more milk. You don't have to feel guilty either.

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