Explaining Dad's Surgery to 3.5 Year Old Boy

3-1/2 is old enough to understand a lot about surgery and doctors. If you haven't already read it together, Curious George Goes to the Hospital is a helpful book. I think you can really try to explain what will happen in simple/lay terms and then just ask DS to explain back to you what will happen so you can see what he doesn't understand.
Best of luck and I hope DH has an easy recovery.
D.

At the first of the year my husband had most of his colon removed and had a huge incision on his belly. We told our 3 year old and 1.5 year old that daddy had a boo boo (whatever word you use for being hurt) and they need to be very careful around his stomach or they would hurt him. Everytime they got close to him we would remind them of the boo boo, then after a few days they would point to his stomach and tell daddy that is his boo boo.

Explain it very honestly to him. The reasons daddy is having it done, the fact that he will have boo boos from the surgery and he will need to be very gentle. And tell him it will make daddy healthier, so he is "choosing" to have this surgery. The truth but in kid terms.

Be as honest as possible, explaining that daddy has an owie & that he needs to be very careful not to hurt him. Make sure to show him the incision (as long as it is healing well) if he sees it he will be more likely to remember & be careful. There will be times when he forgets & jumps on daddy but a gentle reminder when this happens will be enough. Kids understand when a parent is hurting & he will want to help out & probably want to cuddle with daddy to help him feel better.

Hi C. :-)

You can simply tell your little one that daddy is going to go to the doctor and the doctor is going to help his tummy feel better so he can enjoy his yummy food! He will have some "ouchie" areas that are getting all better but daddy needs to rest and baby son needs to play gently and quietly so daddy can get better.

hugs,
A. R.N., Energy Medicine Practitioner

I really think he'll probably be fine as long as you just explain daddy had surgery and has a boo boo and stay away from it. My MIL had surgery and my daughter was only just over 2 at the time and she was fine. I also had a c-section one week after my daughter turned 2 and she was also fine with that too. I think kids sense when someone isn't feeling their best, as I'm sure hubby will be a bit worn down after surgery, and they respect that. Remind him of course to stay away from the "boo boo" area, but I bet he'll be fine. He will probably get a kick out helping Daddy too by bringing him things, etc. Good luck!

this is a great opportunity for your son to practice being gentle and helping. we've had surgeries in our house and 3 years old is the perfect age to explain how helping around the house works and how it takes time to heal. we've even gone sorta in depth explaining what the surgery is all about- they are going to go inside my body and do xyz- it's great how kids are so curious at this age.

i like the idea of showing the incision and explaining how it has to heal.

good luck!

I just had back surgery last month. I have a 4y girl and a 9y boy. We just explained in basic terms that I had injured my back. I had to spend the night so that they could help me move around and learn things but that I would be home the next night. Then once home if they try to play around me I just calmly remind them not to go near my back. My 4y gets it.

She used to love me to pick her up and stuff which I can't anymore. Learn other little things. Cross the room hugs. Eskimo kisses.

I think helping him adjust to the new eating habits will be more involved then the staying away from the stitches.
Good luck.
M.

I would plan a trip to the hospital with your son while your husband is there...let him see the incision...and maybe have the doctor or nurse explain to your son about how he can "help Daddy" by helping him pick things up...getting things for him....get him involved in the process. I would also go to the library and ask the librarian for some age appropriate books about being in the hospital or trips to the doctor....give him a chance to process it and ask questions. At 3 1/2 years old he is able to understand and be empathetic towards Daddy's 'boo boo' and you should be bale to make him feel like a really important part of your husband recovery.
And congratulations to your husband for taking this really huge step to get himself into better shape...several people I know have had this surgery and feel SO much better after losing all of the weight!! I wish I were brave enough to do it too!!

The surgery went great. My son loved going to the hospital and charming the nurses for chocolate milk. He has been really careful not to bump, jump on or crash into my husband's stomach. He was more concerned about the bandages and little bit of blood. In fact, he was concerned that daddy should stay with the doctors so he can get better. Thanks for all the responses, they REALLY helped!