Explain Daycare/School Timeouts for Your 13 Month Old

Updated on March 24, 2011
M.S. asks from Los Angeles, CA
9 answers

I understand that discipline needs to take place for toddlers. I am curious as to how your toddler's daycare handles timeout/discipline for BABIES...a year to 15months. THANKS!!!

I'm curious because my 13 mos old is a handful (in a cute way...just busy and playful...and she has an older sibling which i'm sure has an effect). In the infants room are babies from 6 weeks til around 15 mos. The school likes to transition kids at the beginning of the school year (Sept), but I am thinking they may want to transition my baby sooner to the 1 year room (kids that are around 15mos - 2 years old). She runs that Infants room. Truly. She's bubbly and fun, but is also taking pacifiers, toys, etc from the crawlers. Sometimes she can get physical (in a curious way I think/hope lol) by pulling hair or pushing (which she mainly does with her 13mos old counterpart in the classroom). They give me a sheet everyday that breaks down EVERYTHING from diaper changes, to how many ozs of juice she drank. They also have a comments section where they will put info about a timeout if she has had one that day. I'm thinking of using the amount of timeouts as a segway into transitioning her.

Lastly, when they give her a 1min timeout they place her in a crib and she stands there and laughs, smiles & points. LOL. They need to transition her already.

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So What Happened?

i'm sure that the teacher's reasoning is more to stop the situation than anything. i'm not one of those "up and snatch my child out of a daycare/school because i don't agree with something" type mom. i like to have a bit of discourse first...so....after speaking with the teachers/principal, they are going to allow my daughter (and her cohort as they are the only two in the "infant" room that are walkers) to spend more time in the 1 year room (which they wouldn't normally be transitioned into until september). they are also going to monitor behavior and see if transitioning in june (& throughout the summer) will be a good adjustment as well instead of waiting all the way until september.

thank you awesome ladies for your comments/suggestions.

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M.F.

answers from Phoenix on

That is way too young for time-out. A baby that age can be told no and guided, not catered to, but not actually disciplined.

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I.G.

answers from Seattle on

Our daycare at that age didn't do time outs, just redirect the kids. They started timeouts (and we did at home) at about the 18 months mark.
Time outs were also only used for the most serious issues at that age, for example biting or hitting. Because we did the same at home there was no need for explanation...

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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

I think it really depends on the individual child & the circumstances at hand. Right now, I have 2 18month old boys. One is totally clueless as to discipline (as are the parents)....& the other has been putting himself in time-out since he could walk! Seriously, he puts himself in time-out when he feels frustration or "thinks" he's in trouble when I redirect him.

As for 13 months being too young for time-out, absolutely not! If you have an active, fully-energized walker......then you have to find a way to get their attention. Do I disagree with the crib.....not if she's physically harming another child. That's my criteria: if personal harm is placed on another, then isolation & physical restriction is part of the time-out process. & honestly, it usually takes > 1 minute for the whole thing to sink in....so time-out is usually 2 or 3 minutes. & Even if the child is not talking yet, we still "apologize" thru appropriate actions to teach restititution.

Is this harsh? Absolutely not. Are there other options....sometimes. Redirection works well with pliant children. You have to "know" the child before you can implement a method of discipline. With my clueless little one, I'm having to teach him that I am the "boss", that there are rules in my home, & he has to listen to me....regardless of how lax Mommy/Daddy are. Tough road to walk when Mom/Dad aren't even standing yet!

As for moving your daughter, I would not recommend it. Instead the focus needs to be on the caregivers using more diligence in watching her. A lot of what you are describing can be prevented/stopped in the process....so that your DD will learn to behave BEFORE she moves into that older classroom where she'll be clobbered by those older kids if she tries this stuff on them! Good Luck....

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C.H.

answers from Denver on

Way too young for a time out. A 13mo old does not have the cognitive development to understand OR benefit from a time out. If behavior is an issue, then she is needing more attention than she is getting. She is still a baby & needs to be engaged & redirected appropriately--not put in a crib to be neglected/avoided or moved to a class of bigger kids where she will be overlooked even more. I would question the developmental practices of your childcare.

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J.L.

answers from San Diego on

She stands there and laughs for one she is only 10 months, and secondly their a joke (My Opinion) a 10 month old does not understand punishment, but they do understand discipline, however discipline is not allowed in school or daycare's. In my daycare I will use the playpen to remove a child who is not playing properly, but I don't look at is as time out. if you do something wrong and you stand in a crib for 1 minute do you really think that is going to stop you from doing the same thing again and again? well the same way with children, it is not uncommon for a 10 month old to take toys or pacifires away from crawling children, in my daycare i don;t allow the children to crawl around with pacifires in their mouth, what porpose does that serve? I don't think I really answered your question. I think they should rethink how their linking the ages together. At church we have children's ministry and the way the classes go is infant class is 6 months to 18 months unless walking, as soon as they can walk they are moved to the toddler class for the safety of the baby's on the floor so from walking stage to 2 years are in one class, then 3 year old and up. Hope this helps a little. J.

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S.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

They really use Time-Outs in the BABY room? That's just pointless. My daughter is almost 13 months old and a Time-Out would mean nothing to her. My daughter is also super active, walking all over the place and trying to do stuff her big sis does.

I see Time-Outs as having two effects: one, they stop a bad situation in it's tracks, and two, they encourage the little tyke to think about why it had to stop so they can change the behavior.

I am guessing the daycare uses the time-outs to stop the situation but I hope they aren't expecting a kid to actually put two and two together about why they were put in a time-out. A thirteen month old is NOT there. Maybe around 16-18 months you see the shift to them "getting" it. They are really still a baby at 13 months (even if they are toddling).

Interesting.

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Of course she laughs. It is completely a silly idea. I feel that way about time outs in general but even if you think there is some validity to them she is too young. At her age they should be removing her from the situation and distracting her with something she can do. A statement like 'hands are for hugging, not pulling' would also be appropriate but mostly just for the repetition. We would have switched to a different daycare if DS had been put in timeouts.

M.P.

answers from Provo on

Good question. . . .I have no idea. When I've asked if he's had temper tantrums, they say he hasn't, but not sure about if he needs to have any discipline. I think I'll ask.

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K.P.

answers from New York on

Same way they handle it for older kids... if a toddler is aggressive, they are removed from the group for 1-2 minutes. The teacher then goes over to them and says something short that reinforces the need to "use words" or "find a teacher", etc rather than hitting, biting, etc.

"Babies" and "toddlers" are not the same! With babies... there is no "discipline"... with walkers and talkers... 1 minute for every "chronological year" is the rule of thumb!

Our provider works really hard with her staff to identify triggers and other setting events to prevent behaviors, but sometimes kids just do mean or aggressive things b/c they are frustrated. It happens and a mild consequence is appropriate!

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