Experiment on My Husband.

Updated on August 04, 2011
J.S. asks from Green Cove Springs, FL
29 answers

I have decided to do a little experiment here. My husband 'attempted' to make beans. What do I mean by this? Well he put a whole bag of black beans in a crock pot and add water. I don't know what he was trying to do, but it didn't work. After the crockpot sat on the counter for two whole days, I finally asked, "What is this?" "They didn't set up right, I am going to dump it out." Well, two days later it is still there. I think I will experiment and see how long it sets there before he actually cleans it. I get frustrated when he says he cleans the kitchen, but leaves the pots and pans that has the burnt on stuff for me to do, or leaves the really nasty stuff to me It's super irritating. So I have decided to put my foot down, this stinky disgusting, mess is HIS problem. So I am taking bets, how long do you think it will sit there before he either does it or I break down and do it? Trust me a discussion will occur between us about this habit, but I am going to let this be an example first.

8kidsdad: Why didn't I tell him how to cook beans? Because I do not know how in the hell to cook beans! I am not Martha Stewart or Betty Crocker. Just because I am a woman doesn't automatically make me a whiz in the kitchen. The deal is he tried to do something, it didn't work and he expects me to clean up the disgusting mess. My husband already does most of the cooking, I usually clean. That's our compromise, however I don't think this type of "experiment" counts as cooking.....

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So What Happened?

Tee hee, I didn't even have to say anything....the sound of the garbage disposal is music to my ears.. Score one for hubby!

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K.E.

answers from Denver on

if he's anything like my husband it will be there for eternity. ;-)

He cleans the kitchen too but never wipes down the counters, tables anything - but he loads and unloads the dishwasher so i'm not complaining - lol

3 moms found this helpful

D.H.

answers from New York on

I too subscribe to 'you make the mess, you clean it up. I do the bulk of the home management here. Its the least my family can do, just to clean up after themselves.

Lately, my hubby has been taking my 7yo son by the hand to follow the 7yo's trail, essentially to try teach him to clean it up after himself. It makes me chuckle. I've been tempted to do likewise to hubby. Cups of water, emtpy cups from snacks, used napkins, magazines, dirty socks, even! 7yo is only mimicing what he sees.

8kidsdad: If I need my partner's help, I'll ask. Doesn't seem to me that J.'s husband asked. I find if I offer unsolicited advice, I'm called a nag...or worse.

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L.P.

answers from Dallas on

My DH can leave stuff sitting for weeks. His mess, his problem. Typically I end up cleaning it up or throwing it out because I just can't keep looking at it. He is really bad about leaving empty containers in the fridge. One time for about a month, I just ignored his left behind bowls. He came home from the store with a brisket to smoke and no where in the fridge to keep it, so he decided to clean out the fridge. Twenty tupperwares later he vowed to put his empty containers where they belong. He is a little better about it now, but I still like to tease him about his bachelor habits.

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M..

answers from Detroit on

Girl, hes never going to do it. Our vaccum sat in the hallway for a week, he stubbed his toes on it like 5 times, cussed everytime he saw it. Who moved it after 8 days? Me.

Throw the damn crock pot away and go buy a new one, on him.

6 moms found this helpful

S.J.

answers from St. Louis on

I am cracking up!!

My vote is two more days and you are gonna crack!

5 moms found this helpful
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R.F.

answers from Dallas on

Serve them to him for dinner :)

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A.F.

answers from Fargo on

Good lord, 8kidsdad........ so it's her fault that a dollars worth of dried beans got ruined? Give me a break. Her husband is a big boy and doesn't need her to to notice every good deed and gush thank you's every time he does something constructive. Geesh!

J., he can clean it up! Good for you for putting your foot down!

4 moms found this helpful
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B.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

That's too bad that it happened. Too bad you didn't ask him the first day so the food could have been saved instead of the beans and money wasted.

The better bet is will you notice it when he does do it?
AND, will you tell him "Thank you" in a nice, loving-wife voice or will you use disdain and/or sarcasm? I've always found you catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

If he didn't know how to cook beans, why didn't you help him? My wife and I cooked real well when we got married. But what I did well wasn't what she did well for the most part and visa versa. I married my friend and we each helped the other. (My wife didn't know to add milk to scrambled eggs to make them fluffy. I didn't know how to make butter horns. My wife's butterhorns are fantastic!) Aren't friends supposed to help each other out.

If you are really trying to get your husband to do nothing in the kitchen, you've chosen the perfect way to do it.

Good luck to you and yours.

4 moms found this helpful

A.G.

answers from Houston on

This reminds me of an episode of ''everybody loves Raymond'' where a suitcase sat on the stairs for a few weeks because a power struggle ensued over who was to unpack it. The mil "marie" told the wife "debra" of a similar argument that had tormented her for 40 years....it was an argument over a bad wedding present and who would take it back, but instead of being returned it sat on the wall for 4o years.

I really like the advice given. It was tantamount to just being the bigger person and clean it up, return it, unpack it...whatever...Life is too short to argue and fret and bet over little petty things.

Oh and beans are easy....after you do whatever is you are going to do just tell him that you have to soak dry beans overnight in water, then boil them the next day until they are soft....about 30 to 45 min.

3 moms found this helpful
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A.G.

answers from Albuquerque on

If your husband is anything like mine those beans will become a permanant feature of your kitchen. My hubby will load the dishwasher and tell me the kitchens clean... I guess we have self cleaning counters, stovetop, and floors. And if you are anything like me you will just get so frustrated with the growing smelly mess you will end up tossing it long before he even thinks about it again.

3 moms found this helpful

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

HAHAHAHA
When my husband gets home from work, he brings his empty plastic water bottles in from his car all the way through the laundry room and into the kitchen and sits them on the island or by the sink. They will have 1/4 inch of water left in them.
He has to walk right past the recycle bin ON the back step to bring them inside. They will stay there until I make a trip to the garage to throw them in the recycle bin. He'll bring in like 3 at a time, too. I'm sure he's about to drop them as he opens the door (with the bin just to the left of his elbow)...but nope. He brings them right on inside and plops them down on the kitchen counter.
He's pretty much not a neat/tidy person. He will do things around the house, but the clutter/mess that gets left in his wake.... eeesh. Apparently he was never taught to pick up after himself. It's very annoying, because I don't want to be a nag and I'm NOT his mother, so I really shouldn't be having to attempt to teach him better. I guess he still believes in fairies. He must. His messes magically disappear eventually... lol.

3 moms found this helpful

R.D.

answers from Richmond on

I'm kind of dying laughing right now, BWAHAHAHA!!!! ;)

Especially @ 'just because I'm a woman, doesn't automatically make me a whiz in the kitchen'.... if that was the case with the opposite sex, why isn't my car fixed? Why is there ivy growing to the side of the house? Why are their bugs in my basement?

Oh LOLOLOLOL.... this calls for an early cocktail hour ;)

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S.B.

answers from San Diego on

When my daugter was younger, I was heading out of town with her to visit family for 2 weeks. In my rush to get us out the door, I left the tray of her high chair that she ate off of in the sink, which had ketchup smeared all over it. No biggie, I thought, hubby will wash it off. Well, 2 weeks later when we came home, there it was, hardened, nasty, crusty ketchup tray still sitting in the sink.
Don't underestimate the power of laziness! It may just be there until you do it!

2 moms found this helpful
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K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

I LOVE this! Please, please let us know how it goes!

My vote... four days.

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S.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

There is an episode of 'Everybody loves raymond' about something similar. For Roy and Debra it's who takes the suitcase up to the bedroom after getting back from vacation. And For Marie and frank , it's who returns a gift back to the store. Neither did and they still had that unwanted wedding gift.
Maybe you can wait until you need to use the crock pot again. If it were M., I would bring it up again all angry and he would get angry that I am complaining and would clean it that moment just to stop M. nagging.lol. But it's not like your husband doesn't do anything at home.

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S.B.

answers from Houston on

If its not cleaned before Sunday night, you crack! Good luck!!!! Let us know what happens!!

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B.R.

answers from Naples on

Interesting....I thought that I was the only one! My husband puts empty milk jugs, juice bottles, cereal boxes or anything headed to the recycling bin...on the island counter in our kitchen when he is the one to empty it. Dirty clothes (usually socks, sometimes more) on the living room floor next to the couch, dishes and old mail on the coffee table. When I was a stay at home mom I picked it all up, but since he insisted on me going to work, and instead of enjoying the 2nd income and the ability to pay down bills and save, chose rather to pull back and work less...I just step over and around his stuff, pick up after myself, encourage our daughter to pick up after herself, clean the bathrooms, vacuum, dust, do all of the laundry that is where it is supposed to be (I refuse to play hide & seek dirty laundry) mow and trim the yard, take the garbage and recycling out on the right night, do all of the cooking & clean up. When he can't do a simple thing like toss an empty milk jug in the recycling bin, roll in to work at lunch time, leave at dinner time, stay up 1/2 the night on the web or watching tv, I will let it sit there forever! I agree with the others...by Saturday maybe one of you will have cracked! On another note....I once lived with someone for a very long time but never married. I swore that I would never do that again, having married someone now that I never lived with, I question myself wheather I would make the same decision again.....love my family, hate how he lives, wonder if I would have made the same decision to marry had I known what a lazy piglet he could be! Good luck with yours!

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A.C.

answers from Raleigh on

I can't say because I'm the one to crack everytime.

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K.F.

answers from Dallas on

ROFL! You'll crack first! Can't wait to hear how it turns out . . . and I hope I'm wrong!

2 moms found this helpful

G.T.

answers from Redding on

They will stink and get mold on the top, how long will you be able to handle it? Haha. I'd make him take a whiff under the lid today when he gets home and tell him to make sure he takes the mess outside when he does decide to empty out his failed bean attempt.

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N.K.

answers from Philadelphia on

We call those kinds of things that need to be cleaned up "experiments" too--sometimes I do it, sometimes he does it, sometimes we throw the whole tupperware out with the experiment. We don't hold it over each other's heads who did it, or who didn't, except as a joke. Well, we used to hold that stuff over each other's head sometimes, but it didn't make us happy, so we stopped. :)

Too bad it's in a crockpot--that's kind of hard to just throw out the whole thing... Sounds very gross!

1 mom found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Huntsville on

LOL My guess is whenever he wants to use the crockpot again! (Or when he wants YOU to cook something in it!)

Too funny! I guess I'm lucky that my husband hates dirty dishes laying around!

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K.P.

answers from New York on

I'm gagging just thinking about this scene... you'll clean it by Saturday b/c he has completely forgotten about it!

I had a roomie in college who was like this. She (somehow) ate cereal in the shower and we would find bowls and spoons when we got home in the afternoon, cups EVERYWHERE and forget actually cleaning dishes before "rinsing and reusing". We finally took all of her dirty dishes from the day and piled them on her bed. She got the message.... just a thought!

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D.N.

answers from Chicago on

Good luck. You will probably end up cleaning it up. I made a roast in a crock pot about 2 months ago. It was good--at least according to everyone else. I barely ate any. I cannot stand the smell of cooked meat in this pregnancy. I tried to clean out the pot and could not take the smell. I asked him to do it for me--just cleaning out the water etc , not washing the pot actually. 4 days later he was asking me why it was sitting there. I think it was almost 7 days later when he finally cleaned it out. Good thing there was a lid on the pot. He told me he would do it and then just let it sit there.

BTW,. he will tell the kids not to leave their stuff around but he will take off his socks in the front room and leave them on the couch or floor, leave his shoes in the bathroom. One time he had 4 pairs of gym shoes in the bathroom (he is a shoe and jeans horse).

1 mom found this helpful

A.A.

answers from Las Vegas on

I agree with Scarlett.

1 mom found this helpful

A.W.

answers from Kalamazoo on

Too funny!
My bet is that it's done before Sunday - either he will do it by Saturday morning or else you will have it done by Sat night!!!!
Just tell him that's whats for dinner tonight!

1 mom found this helpful

K.L.

answers from Medford on

My husband cleans more than I do sometimes. He would never have left the crock pot full of icky stuff in the first place and I might leave a baking pan soaking in the sink for 4 days. He will go in and scrub it out and never say a word. He doesnt do as good a job as I would,,,if I did it. But the job he did,, was better than the job I wasnt doing. So I cant complain. Im not a slob, and do clean the kitchen but I usually leave it for morning so I can relax and enjoy what little time we have after dinner. There are times he will go in and rinse dishes and wipe stuff up, but he leaves the greasy backsplash, and splashes water up into the kitchen window. He has this odd thing about after using a sponge or dishcloth, he rinses them out and then soaks them with water and leaves then on the edge of the sink. Yes, dripping soaking soggy wet, instead of squeezing them out. I dont get that at all, so after he cleans, I walk thru the kitchen, wring them out, and set them back where he left them. Weird huh? I also want to say I dont think its great for a relationship to set the other up for failure. Its not really great for either of you to try and play this game of "how long can we hold out."

T.N.

answers from Albany on

My mother would've made him EAT it AND clean it!

:)

S.T.

answers from Denver on

Oh, too funny. I've tried that. I caved WAY before him. I think men just have blinders that they don't see clutter or dishes... or things that need to be done around the house. He left a giant toilet snake thing (we had a clog AGAIN, ugh) and a black trashbag right in front of our shower door. I stepped over it for about a week, seeing how long it would take him to move it... It's still there! ;-)

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