Ex Husband's Girlfriend Is Constantly Causing Problems! Help!

Updated on April 17, 2011
H.H. asks from Lonoke, AR
16 answers

My ex and I have been apart for 3 years. Divorced for a year and a half. He has had this girlfriend since a week after our divorce was final and she has done everything she can to cause problems for me and my relationship with my children. She took my daughter to a different city without her booster seat and then let her ride back in the front seat w the seat laid back. My daughter could have been seriously hurt or worse if they had been in an accident. When I tried to talk to her about this she just ran away saying leave me alone (and let me add she is only 22). Next thing I know she went to the police station and filed harrassment charges against me saying I was yelling and running after her. She has also told my kids that I am a liar, told my middle son who is 4 that she is not going to let him come back to my house that he just need to live w his dad. And a lot of other things I don't have the space to mention. Now while at my son's tball game she had my daughter in my ex's truck and locked her in and wouldn't let her out. It was my ex's weekend. Then she called the police and said she was being held captive in her vehicle and she was blocked in by my family and we wouldn't let her leave...mind u she wasn't going anywhere. HELP.. has anyone else had this type of problem. I am meeting with a new atty this week . If anyone can share advise I would appreciate it! Thanks.

**everyone is asking why my ex allows this behavior..he says everything that she does is always my fault. She can do no wrong. Take thetime she locked my daughter in the truck..my ex was in the dugout w my son.. she wouldn't let me have my child. He says its my fault bc I don't get along w his gf...no logic. That is what I am dealing with. There is no reasoning w him.

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answers from Washington DC on

If she tries the car seat sort of thing or similar, I would call the police on her. Document, document, document the behavior.

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answers from Las Vegas on

Document everything and get legal advice. If she is endangering your children she should not be around them. Take pics and get witnesses if you need to, otherwise it is your word against hers. Good luck, she sounds like a real piece of work.

8 moms found this helpful


answers from Charlotte on

You need to document this stuff and get to your lawyer. She sounds like a nut case and shouldn't be around your children. You need to make it so your ex only has them without her around.

Get to your lawyer right away.


5 moms found this helpful


answers from Pittsburgh on

My question is why in the world is your ex husband allowing this behavior?

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Las Vegas on

I second what Dawn B. wrote.... definite nutcase... get the authorities involved.. also, where is your ex in all this???????? does it NOT concern him that his girlfriend may be a nut? something doesn't sound right here... sounds like there may be more to this.. I say that because IF the EX is a decent father and has concern for his kids, why would he allow them to be in danger....Something needs to be done and quick...

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

Thank goodness for cell phones that have video. Always take someone with you that is ready to video everything if something transpires. Don't react to her or you will be seen as the same as her. How come she is calling the police and not you? If she locked my daughter in the car and wouldn't let her out I would be on the phone, she wouldn't of needed to.

I hope it gets better soon! If your children feel scared with her you should also be able to get a restraining order, especially if she locked your daughter in the car.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Spartanburg on

OH MY GOD, just what you mentioned is ground for filing sole custody of your poor children! You ex must be such a jerk to keep this woman around his children...totally absence of basic parenting skills here (or mere common sense for that matter)!It's hard enough to get used to their family being broken, can you imagine having a total stranger handling them in such non-sensible (and non-sensical, if it's even a word) way. I hope your attorney will guide you through documenting all the horrible things that go on becasue of your ex lack of responsability and you will be able to shield the kids from this trash. Let us know how it goes.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Kansas City on

ugh. sounds like my dad's new "wifey"- but his was my mother's sister. and these were grown people in their 50's. can you imagine?

try to talk to ex. it's HIS problem, and ultimately, HIS responsibility to care for your children when he has them. what a dumba**. sorry.

other than that, be the bigger person, take the high ground, and AVOID HER at all costs. tell ex, sorry, if "X" is going to be there, i won't be. you need to come alone to pick the kids up, etc.


1 mom found this helpful


answers from Detroit on

Be sure to document everything you can including tape recording it or video recording it, keep your cell handy especially if it has a camera and video options. Have you tried to talk to your Ex why is he allowing this to happen. On the other hand since you mentioned she is only 22 that could also be a big part of the problem she is still young and doesn't know how to parent or get along not that what she is doing is right but she does sound a little off in some way. Call the police! Why does she have the kids not your ex at the game etc!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Tampa on

Absolutely get the police, Dept of Children and Families and your new lawyer on this right away!! If your ex cannot pick better women to be in his & his children's lives - then he should have only supervised visitation.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Detroit on

I would agree that you need to document everything and speak with your attorney...but I would be talking with your ex as well. If the kids are with him, he should be the one responsible for them, not her, and he needs to know about what his girlfriend is doing, especially in regards to the safety issues. I met and started dating my husband a year after his divorce and at that time his 2 boys were 5 and 6. As the girlfriend, if I was doing any of the stuff that you say this girlfriend is doing, he would have dropped me like a hot potato. She sounds incredibly immature, disrespectful, and a drama queen and I would see if you can get your attorney to get something in place that states that she is not to be alone with them, and their father needs to present if she is there - but again, I would try to work it out with their father before you have to resort to that.

EDITED TO ADD: Okay...since you've said you have tried talking with your ex and he cannot be reasoned with, then there really is only documenting everything and then speaking with your lawyer. When you do, again, I would ask about restricting her access to the kids when he is not around, or even a restraining order. For him to blame her actions on you is ridiculous!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Rockford on

She's crazy. This will not get better because she is allowed to get away with it. Your ex defending her is ludicrous and he is causing harm to your children by being negligent and not standing up to her to stop this. If he can't see her behavior is nutso, then you need to do everything the previous posters said about going to a lawyer, child services, police, anything you can and try to get sole custody with supervised visitations with dad only.


answers from Phoenix on

Start documenting everything in a calendar you only use for this reason. Also only email or text your ex. then keep all texts and emails in a file. Try not to communicate with her and only with your ex. Tell him that clearly you are not getting along with her and want to limit your contact with her. Be steadfast in your love for your children and try to keep the drama from them as much as possible. When the kids are older, they will know the real story. Good luck.


answers from Los Angeles on

Every story has two sides and we all know that. I am sorry you are having a hard time with your Ex's new love.

I suggest trying not to engage them when you don't need to. Nothing she does will ever be good enough for you, that is just a fact.

~My question after reading your post was...why were you trying to get your daughter out of your ex's truck when it was HIS weekend to have his kids and NOT yours? Was your daughter *really* locked in the truck all by herself or was she sitting in the truck with the new GF and you were trying to say Hi to your child and this 20 something didn't let you? To me it sounded like she was sitting in the truck with your daughter and you tried to come over (first mistake) and say Hi and when she wouldn't let you, you brought your family over with you (second mistake) and tried to intimidate her. ***There is a BIG difference between the two scenarios and I hope you realize that.

The whole situation at T-ball probably could have been avoided all together...by both of you, it is a shame you guys escalated it to the level of calling the cops in front of the kids, but it is what it is.

Good Luck to you. I really think you should try to separate yourself from the situation the best you can. I know it will be difficult but you and your Ex are divorced now and each have the right to parent which ever way you each see fit...and with whomever you and he want to do it with too.

Please disregard my post if I am way off base...just letting you know how I 'read' your post.



answers from St. Louis on

I don't have any advice, but she sounds crazy! Personally, I hate new girlfriends like this because she makes those of us who actually don't want to have a psycho relationship with the children's mother get automatically lumped into the "psycho new girlfriend" category. I'm convinced it's because of chicks like this that me and my boyfriend's ex have the relationship that we do. Talk to your attorney.



answers from San Diego on

Totally in your shoes! I would do what J B. advised you to do. Its not easy dealing with a girl who is barely an adult herself trying to help raise kids that aren't hers. Im living it right now...Be the better person, stay calm for your kids, and if you can do anything legal about it, do it! You dont seem like your being the jealise X. You have legitimate reason to be scared.

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