Ex-husband Is Being Called PaPa by Child That Is Not His

She hears her sister call him that so she thinks it's his name. My oldest when he was little about 2ish heard my friends husband call her honey so he thought that was her name. So even to this day if I say her name to him he usually does not know who I am talking about till I say Honey. And he's fixing to be 15. My son also called my dad daddy for a while because we lived with him and that's what I called him. I honestly don't know if there is a why to get her to stop.

Papa is just the name she hears your ex called by. She doesn't mean anything by it. Decide what you want her to call your ex, and reinforce it.

BTW, I think it is great that your ex is present enough, and kind enough to his own dauther and to your three year old that she calls him Papa.

It could be worse.
Best,
F. B.

Tell your fiance to grow up. Like it or not, the 3 year old and your ex will have a loose relationship just because they have the 11 year old in common. Your 3 year old does not mean any disrespect and does not even understand why your fiance would object to papa. It's the name she has given her sister's father - it has absolutely NOTHING to do with her feelings towards anyone - it's just a name.

You can continue to correct her but honestly she probably just thinks papa is his name. I think your fiance needs to grow up and get over it. I agree with Julie S, it's not your daughter's fault she already has different two different men in her life at the tender age of three, it IS confusing to her I'm sure :-(

It's your fiance's problem not your baby's.

It would be easier for him to just act like a grown up then try to get your baby to call her sister's Dad something new. She hears "Papa", she's gonna say "Papa".

Tell your fiance to stop being annoyed. His daughter is trying to sort out the complicated relationships in her family. She's doing the best she can - and I think she's doing well for her age. He should be pleased with her efforts.

Your 3 year old isn't calling your 11 year old's dad "daddy." she is calling him "papa" just like her sister.
Tell your FIANCE to get over it.
L.

ADD: Yes, go ahead and correct to what you want her to call your ex, but gently. Fiance can be annoyed when he talks to you, but he needs to not be annoyed at the little one.

ORIGINAL: What does your little one call her BIO-dad? Is it a different name? Then there you go.

Your ex is HER SISTER's DAD. Little girl calls him papa because HER BIG SISTER calls him that. EX is part of the family by default. It's not HER fault that there is a confusing family structure. That's on the adults.

Your fiance needs to man-up and get over it. Papa can be a term of respect for her sister's dad. End of story. What you need to do? Tell him to be an ADULT and deal with it. SHE KNOWS, HE KNOWS. It's a name, and if he's not mature enough to let it go, you've got other worries.

How old is your fiance? Because he sounds immature.

Your three-year-old thinks that's your ex's name, because she hears her sister call him that. Tell her his name is "........." when she says "papa." And tell your fiance to grow up.

When my grand kids started calling me by my first name it was odd. BUT all their friends called me that name so why shouldn't they?

It happens to everyone.

Your fiance needs to understand this is what kids do and stop being silly. At least the ex is not getting called "daddy" by little one....

I used to nanny and when the parents got home the kids would run up to them screaming "mommy/daddy"!!! My son, who I brought with me and also just turned 3), would also run up to the parents screaming "mommy/daddy" and begging for hugs and kisses just like the other kids. Yes, he knows who his real daddy is and these moms/dads are not his mommy/daddy but he sees the other kids doing it so he wants to do it too. It's never bothered me. I just laugh it off.

I'm sorry that your fiance is annoyed by this. That sucks. I'm not sure how you could get your daughter to stop calling your ex 'papa'. She just sees her older sister doing something and wants to do it too.

It isn't the child's fault they have a confusing life, let it go. Adults are the ones that get to suck it up.

In other words consider your three year old's feelings, they didn't ask for this, they are just trying to make sense of it. Confusing them further is unkind. When they get older and have more understanding they will stop but until they have the ability to understand let it go!

The child is three.
Three year old's are not precise in their word usage and they are learning a language.
Your fiance needs to bone up a bit on child development and lighten up.
The child doesn't mean it as an insult - doesn't have any idea what the concept of 'insult' is.
It's kind of ridiculous for your fiance to take it as an insult or be irked by it.
How insecure is the man anyway?

Your 3 yr old calls him Papa because that's what she hears her older sister call him. She doesn't think he is her Papa she thinks that's his name. You can start explaining that sister calls him Papa but everyone else calls him (insert his first name here). When she calls him Papa gently say 'No remember only sister calls him Papa. We call him (insert name here.' Do it every time and she'll start remembering.

You can correct it, but I think your fiancé has to get over himself. She's three. This is what her sister calls the man. Why should her sister call him papa and she has to call him John or Mr. Smith? She wants to be treated the same as her sister. As long as she knows who her father is and calls him daddy, then daddy needs to man up and stop expecting to three year old to understand.

I have to agree with your fiance, i would be annoyed too. However, she is only 3 years old and is only repeating what she hears. In this situation i would correct your three year old when she says "papa", I would say "no honey, is name is Mike" (or whatever his name is) she will get used to it and as she grows she will learn that this is big sisters daddy not hers.
I have a blended family too so i totally get your situation! Good luck. Tell your fiance to have patience with his daughter... you will get it figured out.

She thinks Papa is his name. In many families Papa is the grandfather (Nana and Papa). Your fiancé just needs to get over it.

In your baby's eyes, this is his name, because that's what she hears her big sister say. She is not thinking that he is her father or even a father figure. It's his name. If he is to be involved with his child and to come around, then his child's sibling will call him something. Your fiance needs to understand that this is part of the co-parenting territory. It is not an affront to him.

As she gets older and understands family dynamics better, she might change that name.

I'm with a lot of the others, although I understand your fiances irk.

It's just a name, and what she hears big sister call him. There is no disrespect meant, and shouldn't be taken that way. Your fiance needs confidence on his parenting abilities. Kids know who mom and dad is, it doesn't matter what they call anyone else.

What does your 3 year old call her own father? If "daddy", then why not let her call her sister's father "papa"? It shouldn't be any harm. If your ex has good relationship with his daughter, which is way more important than anything, he could be a good "father figure" or male role model for example to the 3 year old as well.
It sounds more like a term of endearment, as it is likely he will be in frequent contact, she will grow up with him in her life to some extent as she associates with her sister. At three, she doesn't know the difference in names or titles.

My grand children address their God Parents as "Aunt" name and "Uncle" name" and they are no blood relationship. My grandson addresses his "step" grandfather as "pawpaw" and his biological grandfather as "Grandpa". No one has any problem with that.

Your fiancé needs to get over it. With so many blended families, in-laws, "out laws" in today's society, and obviously you aren't married to the father of your child, whom you call your fiancé, and you say he sees her "nearly" everyday, children are going to have many extended families, which can be confusing by no fault of their own.

Developing positive relationships are much more meaningful and important than trying to educate a three year old to comply with her father's insecurity and jealousy.

She is three, she may not even understand what is being implied with the word papa, she just knows that her sister called this man this name. Just gently correct her that this is "insert name here", and move on. If she does not get it now, she will as she gets older and understands the dynamics of the family better.

As for your fiancé, he needs to realize that she is a small child, she is not trying to be hurtful, and he needs to stop letting it bother him.

My 3 year old calls her older sisters father "The Dad" I think it's very funny, and my husband doesn't care at all. My husband has a close relationship with his little girls and he knows they know who their father is. Where is the jealousy coming from? Is your husband annoyed by other things about your ex? Perhaps this is just an added annoyance and there is something bigger at play.

I have to say, I do commiserate with your fiancé. I would be annoyed too if my son called someone else "mama" even if he called me "mom". For example, if my husband and I were divorced and my son started calling my ex's new girlfriend or wife "mama" I can't imagine I would just let it go. I don't think I would just suck it up and get over it, I would probably correct him. I wouldn't lose sleep over it, but it would definitely be irritating. Especially considering this is your ex, not a close family friend or an uncle or something.

I would just correct the 3 year old when you hear it with what you want her to call her sisters dad. Just understand it will take a little bit of time.

My eldest son used to call my husband Sweetie because that is what I called him. Seriously, your fiance needs to just get over this. She is three.

First of all, your fiance needs to get over himself. His daughter clearly knows that he is her daddy and calls him that. She does not think your ex is daddy, nor does she call him daddy. I would say with 99% certainty that she has NO CLUE that "papa" is another term for daddy. I actually know many more people that call their grandfathers "papa" than call their dads "papa."

Your three year old hears her old sister call your ex Papa. She doesn't hear him called anything else and, therefore, doesn't know anything else to call him.

I don't actually think there is anything wrong at all with her calling him papa. But, if it bothers your fiance that much, then you need to come up with something else. He can be Uncle Steve or just plain Steve (or whatever his name really is, obviously). The only way to make it happen is to correct her every single time she says Papa. Just say, no honey, this is Uncle Steve. Only your sister calls him Papa.

Kids this age DO NOT understand the concept of half-siblings. My son's best friend (age 7) alternates weeks between his mom's house and his dad's house. Dad has been remarried for several years and now has a 2 year old and a brand new baby. A couple of days after the new baby came home, it was time for the older one to go to his mom's house for the week. The 2 year old could not understand why the baby didn't go to. He thought it was normal that his siblings leave every other week. He didn't understand the concept of same dad, different moms. Your three year old doesn't get it either.

Just gently and repeatedly correct her until she remembers that she calls him (whatever) and only her sister calls him "papa" because he is her father.

She's just confused...she'll get it if you just repeat it and are matter-of-fact about it. When my SD was younger she lived with her mother and step-father and for a while, she was in the habit of calling her stepfather "Daddy [first name]" and my husband "Daddy [first name]" and her younger half-brothers on her mother's side used to call my husband "Daddy [first name]" sometimes too, and he would just laugh and say "no, call me [first name]." The younger brothers also used to wonder when it would be their turn to come to our house.

Just get everyone on the same page with what you want him to call her and she'll learn it.

She is call him this name because her sister calls him this. Either you need to let it slide or figure out name for the 3 year old to call him, then start using it. In the end all parties need to build positive relationships. If your 3 year old has a positive relationship with your ex and her older half sister then I personally would see no need to change it but if someone is uncomfortable with it that start to work something slowly so that everyone is happy.

Why haven't you corrected before now? When she says "papa" you say "This is -------." You say it matter of factly every time. You give her some sort of praise when she does it the first few times to encourage her to keep doing it the way you taught her. Just a simple "good" or "that's right." I don't understand why this is an issue.

Ditto BK and AKmom...

What does your three year old call her Bio-dad (your fiancé)? and what is her legal name? Do you live with your fiancé ? Although it is annoying to him, that is all she knows because her sister calls your ex PaPa. You might try having her call your ex PaPa "first name" . What does your 11 year old call your fiancé? Perhaps that is a source of his irritation too~ Good luck - he needs to grow up a little and work on being a good dad to both your daughters.

She is still young. "Papa" is what she hears him called, or referred to on a regular basis so that is what she thinks his name is, not that he is her father. She knows who that is. Once she is about 5, she will have a better grasp on this because in kindergarten they talk about families.. You should see some of the family trees. My own father has been married 3 times.. Our poor daughter..

When you are speaking with your older daughter do you say, "Tell your Papa, that I need him to call me."? Or do you say, have your Dad call me, Or have "Joe" call me?

What about with your older daughter referring to your fiance? How do you refer to him with your eldest?What does she call him?

When adults in our lives all have multiple names and titles, it can really get confusing for a child.

We have an extensive family. Each time we were going to visit them, my mom would give us the run down. Aunt Sally is my big sister. Uncle, Frank is your dads only brother. Grandma A, is dads Mother.

My husband is still confused about who he is related to and how.. vs, some of his parents best friends, since they spent more time with family friends than their own family.

Correct her. No that is ....

My DD learned to call the sks' mom "Ms. Last Name". That's what she calls people she is not related to who are adults. I would say, "That's brother's Papa. You can call him Mr. Smith." I think the toddler is just imitating big sis and thinks that's his name. If you asked her what your first name is, she might very well say, "Mommy".

You should also remind your fiance that his child knows who HE is. It will work out. Whenever DD asks, we just tell her simply. She is 5 and pretty well gets the venn diagram of her family now.

Moonfrog and Samantha saved me. I thought is be the only one who also would be offended.

Since you are caught in the middle, try to put your little one on the potty, or in another room until Big Papa is gone from the doorway.

Don't make a big deal of why you are doing it. Make it look like natural. That will save you from having the backlash.