Ever Heard of This "Vacation" Idea?

Updated on August 08, 2013
C.C. asks from Brooklyn, NY
31 answers

In the neighborhood where I grew up, there was a SAHM who had an annual tradition of taking a vacation from her job (in other words, she took a vacation from being a SAHM).

Each year, she took "one week off" (maybe some years she took more, I'm not sure, but at least one solid week). Sometimes she traveled with friends, sometimes she just slept late. Her kids knew that she would not be cooking, cleaning, driving anyone anywhere, etc, during that week. She was very proud of this and spoke about it - that's how I knew about it.

Thoughts on this? Do you or anyone you know do something like that? She's the only person I've known who did that.

(BTW, her husband often traveled for work and also took time for himself to play golf etc.)

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

She was a really smart SAHM!
Everyone needs a break from time to time no matter what you do.
Also, by taking a break, the people who lived with her would really learn to appreciate what she does when they have to step in and do it for themselves for the little bit while she's on her break.

5 moms found this helpful

O.H.

answers from Phoenix on

I don't view it as her necessarily doing it to just get away from the kids. I think she simply wanted time for HERSELF. Usually vacation is going somewhere and doing something fun and/or relaxing, things you don't normally get to do. So I don't agree with it looking like she wanted time away from her kids, we all need a break no matter if we work at home or outside of home. JMO.

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A.C.

answers from Huntington on

What a great idea!
I would have to actually get away from the house for that to work, I think.
I usually do a girls only trip once a year, no husbands or kids. I know lots of ladies who do this as well.
FWIW I work full time from home.

3 moms found this helpful

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Well I like the idea of going away for a week but I don't see how it could be much of a vacation staying at home while your kids run around and make a complete mess of the place.
That doesn't sound relaxing at all, it sounds like a nightmare!

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

I do it every year. And have for the 26 years we have been married. Sometimes I go away and sometimes I stay at home. But we eat out that week or hubby grills. when the kids were little I would go to the state bowling tournement each year. as they got older and I dropped bowling some of my girlfriends and I went to vegas / disney with no kids was a blast / lake geneva / spring field. it is good for you to have some "me" time. it was not usually a week more like 3 or 4 days with exception of the disney trip and that was 7 solid days.

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C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

ETA - I didn't call it a "vacation" - I called it MY time. My boys called it "Boys Weekend!" - which meant TV dinners and games with Daddy.
________________________

Yep! And when I was a SAHM - I did take a vacation. I would go to my best friends house for a few days - usually 4 - Thursday through Monday or Tuesday.

I needed a break too. Just because I didn't "work" to earn a paycheck did NOT mean that I didn't work. Being a SAHM is WORK.

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J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

I think everyone needs a break but to call it a vacation and make it a full week, personally I don't like the message it sends to your kids or your husband. Sure I take a vacation from work but then I use that vacation to spend time with my family. Family is not a job that you get ETO from, ya know? They are your family, not a burden you need to escape from.

I would have answered this question pretty much the same six years ago and beyond when I was a stay at home. I may need a girls night out, or even a weekend away but I would never ask to take a vacation from my family.

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K.D.

answers from Jacksonville on

I think its good that she gave herself "me" time- everyone needs it! If that works for her and her family then great! I work full time and most of my vacation time is used to cover school holidays and breaks. But, I do take 1 week per year while my daughter is in school, and I have a staycation. I'm basically a SAHM/housewife for the week and thoroughly enjoy it!

But, I can see Flaming Turnips point below-I hope her kids/hubby aren't insulted by it.

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B..

answers from Dallas on

Honestly, I think it's kind of lame of her. I am NOT a supermom, by any means whatsoever. I am a mom, I home school my son, I do whatever other stay at home moms do. I don't find it so hard, that I need to stop functioning for an entire week. A day off here and there would be nice, or even a few days...but seriously...a week? I can see someone who has to deal with special needs or very high needs children. A single mom who works long hours and literally never gets a break, or similar scenarios to that. A typical mom? I think it's kind of pathetic she is sooooo tired that she takes a week off from being a parent. That's what she signed up for. It's not THAT hard, people!

It's not the same as the kids going away to enjoy a camp.

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P.K.

answers from New York on

My neighbors when I moved in did this every year. One week at Block Island. Husbands home with the kids. They came home rested and rejuvenated. Every Mom should do this. Good for everyone all around. Kids survive and learn to do things they might not have done, hubby realizes what your day is like. It's a win win for everyone.

4 moms found this helpful

C.V.

answers from Columbia on

I've never heard of such a thing, but good for her if that's her thing.

I'm all for having time to oneself, girl's weekends, maintaining healthy individuality...but I know I couldn't take a week's vacation from my family.

I'd miss them.

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V.T.

answers from Washington DC on

SAHM or Working Mom, I think every woman (or every person for that matter) needs time to themselves. It's brilliant. Like with any job, it can become draining. I love my kids greatly, but it would be nice for a week to not have to cook, clean, drive places, grocery shop, dishes, laundry, change diapers, bath time, etc. My husband and I just got back from a trip without the kids. It was nice being more than mom for a few days. I was able to relax, sleep, read a book, drink some wine, and go to the spa. I came back a better mom. I was refreshed and my kids noticed I was in a better mood.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

I think that's healthy, actually. Be recharged, come home, have a new outlook. Spending time with your friends without the kids is good for you, IMO. Just as long as you always spend time with friends and never with your kids.

As for what to do if the spouse works, well, you find a sitter if the spouse can't take off time to cover you. My DH is fully capable of holding the household together when I am not here.

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L.P.

answers from Boca Raton on

have not heard but boy does that sound tempting. unfortunately, if i were to do it, my family would not survive.

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M.O.

answers from New York on

I've never heard of it, but good for her! Everyone should do that.

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M.C.

answers from Detroit on

Kudos to her. I fantasize about a vacation like that. The problem with me is that I realize if I come back from a vacation like that, I would have TONS of work to do since my husband refuses to do certain things. Maybe someday I will do that...one never knows:) Actually, a close friend of mine does this too. She and her husband just got back from a 2 week trip to Asia and left their kids home with their nanny.

I am all for it...if makes her a better mom---great!:)

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M.L.

answers from Cleveland on

My sil did this. Long weekends at bed and breakfasts.

Honestly its all in how you spin it. It can be a fun thing for the mm to be w friends,or. Ccentering thing, like meditating and having a prayer weekend, or it can be a selfish, competition w dad thing or. A showing off thing.

Too broke and too happy form me to do it.

Updated

My sil did this. Long weekends at bed and breakfasts.

Honestly its all in how you spin it. It can be a fun thing for the mm to be w friends,or. Ccentering thing, like meditating and having a prayer weekend, or it can be a selfish, competition w dad thing or. A showing off thing.

Too broke and too happy form me to do it.

2 moms found this helpful

M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

Good for her!

I couldn't do a week, and I certainly couldn't stay at home and not do anything, but I think a long weekend every now and then would be great!

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R.K.

answers from Appleton on

Good for her. I love the idea.

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D.D.

answers from New York on

Good for her!!!! Being a SAHM is hard and the complaints from those you are caring for never end. I hope they appreciated her a bit more once she returned to work.

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H.L.

answers from Houston on

I agree with FT below for me, but if that worked for them...oh, well.... We don't always have the same ideas or respond to the same motivations. (Wasn't there a recent question about moms judging each other?) If spending a week "off" doing what energizes her kicked her into gear for the rest of the year, so be it. I am perfectly happy with the fact that I am Mommy all day and all night. I'm not even off in my sleep, and I'm good with that. I'm not even off when I put my husband in charge, and...you know...I'm <squeaky voice> good with that. I also get a "break" when I go to my day job Monday through Friday. It's where I can sit down and write checks for bills and do household shopping online. It's where I get online to heal all the ills of the world (personal friends and you guys) and enjoy certain phone calls.

My kid is 2, though. Maybe when he's 10, I'll spend a few days at a time away from him. Not with girls, though. I'm not that girl who enjoys that much girl time. Give me a solid several hours with my girlfriends, and then I'm done. I live for spending time with my husband and son; it's how I'm made. I am a woman with my own needs and wants, but built into the fabric of who I am are also wife and mother, even before I married or gave birth. Maybe one difference is varying degrees of this in all of us. Not every parent is made to be ON all the time, and none shoudl feel that pressure to be ON all the time. She is drawing the boundaries where they need to be for her situation.

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I.X.

answers from Los Angeles on

as long as someone picks up the slack it sounds good. I know that I could not get away with this.

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M.C.

answers from Chattanooga on

Gosh, I would love to be able to do that! Lol. I'm lucky if I get to sleep in on Moher's Day!

Being a mom means being on-call ALL. THE. TIME. It may not be that "hard," but it sure is demanding, stressful work. Especially if you have more than one kid, and do your job right. Having a yearly vacation would be a great way to let go of the stress and refresh yourself.

Although... I don't think I would do the vacation at home. If my child needs something from me, I have a very hard time rejecting her... I may ask hubby to pick up the bulk of the work, but I wouldn't flat out drop everything while I was there.

I don't know anyone who actually does this though. Most of the moms I know would rather vacation with their family... And there just isn't enough cash to cover multiple vacations in a year.

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

Interesting idea and more well-planned than I can usually pull off.

When I hit maximum overload, I may announce to my husband "I'm on strike until (whenever that day... lunchtime, 3 o'clock, all depending on what's going on, my level of sanity and when I start my strike)." It's my nice way of saying "If I do one more thing for anyone else but myself, hear one more complaint, etc. I'm going to seriously lose my temper on someone."

The vacation your friend takes sounds far more reasonable, but it's not in the cards for me until Kiddo's a bit more self-sufficient, maybe two years or so from now. :)

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S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

I try to get away on a girls weekend once a year. I have days when I don't feel like doing the domestic stuff, so housework gets put off a day or two and we eat pizza or McDonalds.

1 mom found this helpful

L.U.

answers from Seattle on

What a great idea. BUT....
how does one do that when they have young children and the spouse works? I mean, my husband is gone by 6:30-7am and my daughter (2) wakes any time from 8 on. My boys (10 and 7) still need their mother to make meals, break up fights, watch them at the park, drive to soccer practices... You get the idea.
So, while in theary that sounds good I am not sure how it is feasible unless the husband stayed home or the kids were staying outside of the home.
L.

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S.W.

answers from Detroit on

Hi Chacha,

I never thought of it as a "vacation" but when I was home full time with my DS, I always scheduled a long weekend, fri - mon, for a girls weekend with my friends. Each year we would pick a destination and either travel together or meet there, no husbands, no kids, no one but me and my homies. :-). It was a life saver for all three of us.

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K.C.

answers from San Francisco on

I don't know of anyone who stays home and just doesn't do anything, but I think it sounds like a great idea!! I am a SAHM and try to take at least one weekend vacation each year (Friday - Sunday) where I go away with friends or even by myself.
I think I would have a hard time staying home but not doing anything if the kids were around. Sounds like it's worth trying though! Moms deserve a vacation from work just as much as people at an office.

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J.K.

answers from Wausau on

I've not being away for a full week at at a time, but I do take shorter vacations with just my sister or friends.

Sometimes I've just stayed home....but then I send my husband and kids away to go visit someone for a weekend. It is great to have the house to myself for a few days.

One thing I like about the school year is that I get a few hours home alone every day. I work part-time for pay from home, but work in silence is relaxing in a way that work with kid-noise is not.

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

I've not taken a week long trip but have taken quite a few solo trips to the beach, etc for 3 nights/ 4 days. I love the break to recharge, re-energize and it makes me a better mom and wife.

Right now I'm on a vacation limited to my bed and only up to go to restroom with crutches for 5 days due to an ankle repair treatment. This one isn't so much fun though... I'm still working from my bed . I'll be thankful if the treatment works though!!

So, yes, I've heard of mom"s going on solo or friend trips to recharge.

My hubby is in sales and is out if town a lot as well.

S.J.

answers from St. Louis on

Ha!!

I can't even go to the bathroom alone after working 9 hours and cooking dinner. And that is after I announce "Mommy wants to be alone in the bathroom, you WILL give me 3 minutes". They always find me.

I would never get away with this. But kudos to her, she must have a great husband. Mine would be whining within the first hour that he doesn't know how to change a poopy diaper or make a sandwich. In my husband's defense, he golfs maybe twice a year and is constantly working on our house.

If I tried to leave for any extended period of time, I truthfully fear my family wouldn't survive.

If I try to get out of my "mom" duties, I have to give my husband advance notice. If I don't he makes it so miserable for me that it is much easier just to cook the dinner. Ex - I couldn't just come home from work and announce I wasn't cooking dinner that night. I am expected to cook dinner each night because that is our routine, and if we break from that routine, hubby has to know about it or it is irritation city.

I have never known anyone who has done that - I do know of women who have taken a day or two off, but never a full week of vacation. I envy ALL of them.

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