Ever Feel like You Don't Fit in with Other Moms?

I always feel like this. All the moms in my children's classes seem like old friends with each other. I don't care. I just do my own thang.

I participate in the class stuff for my sons, and I'm not interested in socialising with the cliques. This sounds very snooty, but I'm always friendly and nice, it's just that I don't go out of my way to be accepted into the cool kids' group.

My daughter started kindergarten at a very good public school where you have to test in. A lot of the parents are wealthy or have higher incomes. I have found a few parents that I get along with, but I am still so akward in the social setting! You are not alone. As we get older, it becomes harder to make friends. I found out that if I just keep on going to functions, it gets easier. Good luck

I say enjoy the solitude! Once you meet them, chances are you have to find something to chit chat about from then on...every single practices, and then games, and then more practices, and then more games...and then when you run into them at the store...and so on and so on.

Introduce yourself to them by saying, Hi guys, I am N., I am Charlies mom!

Who are your kids? What number are they? Where does he go to school? Is this his first year playing?
That will get them started..

Sometimes, I have mints or gum and offer it around. Hey, anyone want a piece of gum?

You are a mom, You gave birth to a human being! You are strong!.. Go for it.. !

The more you put yourself out there, it will become more and more natural to you,.

Nope but then I am the crazy extrovert of the group. Find the person like me and sit by them. They will do all the talking for you. Once you are part of the group people will get to know you but more at your comfort level. :)

You are not alone and I have to agree give it some time. I'm a heavily tattooed pink haired mom. At first many avoid me and it use to bother me. But the ones that do eventually talk to me find out I'm just as "normal" as they are in the mom area. I have even had some tell me that they weren't sure about me til after they watched me for a while. They said the tattooes and hair threw them for a loop. But after watching me interact with the class/team they saw how the kids felt about me. Some even told me they had to met me because their kids came home from a field trip or practice and their kids wouldn't stop talking about the lady with pink hair. All I could do was laugh and say yeah that is me.
Just give it some time and I'm sure you will find some you connect with.

I don't really have a problem but then again when I first get to a place, I do feel a bit shy. Try not to look like you just rolled out of bed. Then again, don't look like you spent all day in front of the mirror either. Think of a few ways to start a conversation with someone who looks friendly or is alone. Things like "Is your son out there"? "What do you think of the team"? "Do you live in town"? Also, think of some other topics or interests that you can bring up if the person is quiet. Also, don't pick anyone who looks overly into the game and will be annoyed that you distracted her.

I'm on the shy side, and I've had to learn how to manage.

So the first step is harder for you than it may be for others. You'll have to smile, say hello, and introduce yourself. It's not your job to make them like you; it's just your job to speak up. Think of questions in advance to ask these other moms: Which one is your player? How long has your child been playing in this league? How does he like it? Do you have other baseball-playing children? Ask them questions about themselves, and they'll probably be delighted to answer. People *love* to talk about themselves! If they don't ask you questions in return, that's all right. Just listen to what they say; keep being genuinely interested in them.

All that said, it doesn't mean you'll become bosom buddies with these moms. If you find one who is pretty friendly, you're doing well. But don't try to "make" them like you - you know what I mean - and don't worry what they think of you. Just speak up. Oh, and if you can volunteer to help in some way, do it. Getting more involved makes you feel more a part of the group.

Remember, it takes lots of time to make a *close* friend. All you need to do right now is make acquaintances.

Yes, I do sometimes. I am more of an introvert. I don't always feel up to chit chat. I'm a quieter person. Some Moms I've met over the years I'm friendly with, we share some laughs and get togethers, and I think we are "friends" but then we drift apart after our kids no longer go to the same school or do the same activities. And it makes me wonder if it was all superficial. Which makes me feel insecure. And less likely to put myself out there trying to be friendly and make friends with other Moms on my kid's activity circuit. But if I'm being totally honest, I know I do tend to get wrapped up in my immediate family and enjoy my alone time, so it's probably my own fault for not putting a bigger effort in building Mom friendships. You don't know if you really want to get to know these Moms better unless you give it a try. Smile, start some small talk. See how it goes. Nothing to lose, right? Second game, everyone is still just getting to know each other. No doubt some of the kids signed up with "buddies" or the families go to the same school and probably already know each other. That's probably why them seem to click so well already. Give it some time, keep an open mind.

you are not alone! Be yourself and dont change you to fit in~ Eventually you will click with the right woman or women.. It takes time to find the right friend you can trust and click with. Just smile and be friendly so you dont come off as standoffish too~ lol.. but give it time. remember you are there to support your child. enjoy the time watching him and the other things will fall into place. good luck and keep smiling!

Cynical S. checking in: put a group of women together, & you'll end up with cliques. Danged shame....it's sooooo limiting.

On the other hand, at least you're living drama-free!

My only helpful comment would be: you have to step outside of your personal comfort zone to change your life. Jump into the conversation!

ALL the time - but that's likely because I'm raising my granddaughter so I'm older than many moms (heck I could be THEIR mom)! Luucky for us both, however, that I rarely act my age - so we throw people off all the time! LOL!

No but I'm not shy :) you'll have something in common with all the other moms..your kids! The more you meet, you'll start to find the ones you really click with. I feel like I just did this year and my oldest is 7! If you become Facebook and Pinterest friends with them you'll really see whose interests and attitudes are similar to yours. It might help to befriend the most outgoing one, since she's most likely to know the others and bring you into the group. Or host a mom's night out at your house or we always go out after our monthly board or PTA meetings, new people come every time!

I used too....I'm an older mom now. In the future it ended up being a blessing as my kids continued in sports parents (even moms) got nastier and nastier. I can't even sit by some of the parents for fear of me turning to them and telling them maybe if they'd get off their a$$'$ once in awhile and play catch with their kids the kid would actually catch the ball,hit the ball run the bases. LOL....take a book and enjoy not being apart of the back biting drama that isusually is involved in sports.

I am a grandmother who babysits!!! I take my grandson to the gym for a
class and have become good friends with another grandmother. Look forward to our one hour per week. That being said, I go to soccer, and am
amazed at the parents. Does everyone think they have a four year old
soccer star? I mean the only way you know where the ball is, is because
they are all huddled around it lol. The fathers are worse. I mean they are
4 years old!!! So I know how you feel. Luckily enough 35 years ago, the
kids played for fun. Now it is an intense competition among kids and
the parents. Why can't everyone just let them have fun and why can't the
parents just enjoy being there with other parents. I am not sure I answered
your question. Sorry N.. I get on these rants sometimes LOL.

My whole life! Always had more guy friends because girls were too catty.

Problem with girls having guy friends is, once an adult the guy friends' girlfriends or wives are jealous or threatened and same goes for the girl's significant others...then you tend to be friendless.

Just be yourself and don't force a friendship but rather be fellow team moms/the mom of friends. Some will become a friend and others will remain the mom of your son's teammates.

You are there for your kid, not the moms. Focus on the game and how well your son does. Give him his kudos and go home to celebrate.

You may be better off keeping your distance...that's what I do, and usually everyone winds up talking to me eventually because you see each other at games, etc.

I really do prefer to not be known by everyone...many of the clique moms are very competitive and you have to listen to either bragging or they hash over every aspect of the sport. Also, if you ever decide to switch teams or do some other sport, it's easier to slip out if you're not in the thick of things.

Sometimes i feel this way, being older than most moms, but then I tell myself THEY don't fit in with me, so no problem!! ; )

I truly do not, nor ever have, concerned myself with it.

I feel like this a ll the time, I am almost 10 years younger than most of the moms of my daughters friends.

I feel this way too, but usually i either find my way to someone similar or i realize, wow I would rather not have anything to do with these moms or dads.

I'd rather watch my kid or read a magazine than listen to some stupid person-who i might not be trapped with for an hour after this summer and nver really see again - tell me all about what ever it is I wasn't paying attention to them saying.lol

I do think you will find the right person if it is meant to be, the mom world can be tougher than dating.

My husband felt this way about our daughters classmates parents. He had to take her to a birthday party and I met up with him and he was annoyed. He said not one of them snotty moms said hi to him or our daughter.

I had to remind him that we are one of two students that came from our daycare. Many of them have been in daycare together for years and they all know each other. Some of the kids are best friends.

He said they could have said hello, which is true. I still had to share with him that it would be like me and my group of moms that meet up to let the kids run in an arcade while we all sit around and chat. When we see each other, we just pick up where we last left off.

The same thing with one dad who has alternating days with mom. He and I see each other everywhere. Birthday parties, school Saturday events, and every Saturday at the ice rink. I don't think he is comfortable with the other moms, so he always finds his way over to me and we chat for the hour. He also shares the photography interest with me and asks a lot of questions about that. Anyway, one would probably think differently, but really we are just two people killing time.

I am much more entertained by the kids than the moms. And I love sports, so talking with the dads is usually more about what's going on on the field than whatever the moms talk about.

At times I do. But really, most of time, it's what you make of it. If you wait for people to come to you, then it might not happen. It's amazing what can happen when you just walk up & introduce yourself to someone. It does suck that people just aren't as friendly or welcoming nowadays, which makes it hard when you're not super outgoing.

I was a jock in high school...so I didn't really get along with "other Moms" when my kids were in sports. I found myself hanging out with the dads more at practise.

I am pretty much the only divorced mom at the school who is alone. I feel like a leper most of the time. Still, I go out for the kids. We are here for you!

When my son finds a friend in his class that he talks about and asks to hang out with, I, go up to that mom and say " my son really likes your son, do you want to plan a playdate with them sometime" ... I, then, give her my number or get hers... I can be shy sometimes, but I come out of my shell for playdates... :)