Europe, Skype and a Recently Turned 3 Year Old

Updated on May 06, 2011
A.P. asks from Sanford, FL
20 answers

Would you Skype your recently turned 3 year old if you were away from them for 3 weeks?

I would like to know if it would be too much for our son to see us on the webcam? He video calls my mother all of the time and every time I open my laptop his asking for her. However, I am afraid seeing his parents on the other side of the camera would be too much. He doesn't seem to be cognizant of those deeper thoughts yet, but am I just not giving him enough credit? I'm thinking we could try it once and if it just makes him upset we could always just stick to phone calls.

I don't need your judgment, sorry, opinion (lol) about being away from him for so long. I would like feedback on any experience you may have had with what you did when you were away from your child around this age.

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

Try it while he's at home. If you have friends or neighbors who have Skype, or go to a coffee shop if you have two computers. Have him watch one of you on Skype and test his reaction. I bet he will think it's cool!

2 moms found this helpful
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M.C.

answers from Dallas on

I would give it more than one try, even if the first one doesn't go well. I was away from DD for one month when she was 2 1/2. We skyped every morning at breakfast time. Some days she was totally excited and into it; some days she was upset/angry; some days she was just too busy doing other things and not interested. But I think it was still a really good thing to do on ALL days--she knew that I'd "be there" every morning at 8am. She could talk to me, or show me stuff, or not. We could talk for 10 minutes or 10 seconds. It also helped me a lot to get daily updates from DH, even when she didn't want to talk. Just know that different days will be different, but that doesn't mean you should give up! Have a great trip!

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K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

My husband deployed 2 months before my son turned 3. We Skype almost every day. We all love it. I think it has really helped keep the connection. My son--who is very verbal for 3 (turned 3 in March)--never gets upset. They laugh and my son shows him things. I think it's GREAT!

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R.M.

answers from Topeka on

I would use Skype at least once....see how he reacts and then decide. I talk with my grandsons ( 3 and 18 months) all of the time and they love it...my youngest ones' Daddy jokingly refers to me as "grandma in the box". If your son becomes upset at seeing you....then stick to phone calls from now on. It is just something that you are going to have to let your Mom's instinct guide you. I know that you will miss your son while you are gone and seeing him will be very important to you...you just have to gauge how he reacts to it.
You might consider video taping you and your husband reading some of your sons' favorite books to him....let him get used to seeing you on video even before you leave....then maybe it will go better. And Grandma can or whoever is taking care of him can use those videotaped book readings to keep him "in touch" with you!!!

1 mom found this helpful
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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

Can you keep your face happy (instead of tearing up and getting all faklempt)?

If yes... then absolutely! If not, then stick to the phone. UNLESS you can't keep your voice happy. In which case stick to prezzies when you return.

Also (just a warning) about half the time (phone or skype) just be prepared for your beloved-hung-the-moon-die-for-them-charming-brilliant-most-amazing-child-in-the-universe to be too "busy" to wanna talk to mo-ooom. Mom's boring. I've got bubbles/ blocks/ carpet lint that is just waaaaaay more interesting than she is right now. Oy. Talk about a blow to the gut. But especially when your and their relationship is solid and they're having an adventure with (gramma, auntie, whomever) and is being very well taken care of... it tends to happen. Eh. It's just mom. I'll see her later. (Like gravity, you're always there, and always come back, so what's the big deal?)

Hint: I always left my son with my mum... ALWAYS talk to the caregiver first to ask about their day so that you can prompt them / find out where they're at (bouncing balls, just woke up, about to eat and cranky, etc.). Just makes entering into the conversation a lot easier / gives you god-like-powers (because even from ___________) you still know about their life/ day. It's just really comforting to kids (having been on with parents away, and being a parent away) to be able to say/hear "Tell me about sliding in the park today! I hear you went on the twisty slide a whole lot???"

1 mom found this helpful
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W.L.

answers from Dallas on

When our children were young and went to grandparents on vacation we found we missed them more than they missed us because they were being entertained by grandparents. We left it up to the grandparents to call us if they thought the kids were missing us. Our oldest would never call unless he had done something really exciting that he could not wait to share and our youngest needed to talk to us everyday. I would advise you to have it set up just in case, you might even try it before you go just to see how he reacts to seeing you that way. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

B.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

We were in Ukraine for 2.5wks (husband) and 5wks (myself) during the adoption of our daughter and we skyped with our 5 and 8yr old sons back home daily. our 5yr old had a hard time near the end of me being gone, if he would skype with me he would cry, but most of the last week I was gone he wouldn't even come to the camera. Our daughter was 3 at the time of our adoption and while she was delayed from orphanage life she LOVED skyping with dad and her brothers back home (and it did bring my 5yr old back to the camera to see and talk to his new sister. :))

I say yes, skype with your child. At 3 he can understand that you guys are on vacation (or work or business or whatever the case may be for you to be gone) and will be able to understand a bit of a countdown to you coming home. I think that skype is awesome and he will really enjoy the connection of seeing your daily on the computer while you are away.

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S.E.

answers from Dallas on

We were recently gone away from my 2.5 year old. We did FaceTime (an iPhone app) with him and though it was really cool and fun to do with him my parents said after we hung up he cried for us. He also started crying later that night when he went to sleep. He hadn't cried at all for us the whole time, until he saw us on the phone.

I would go on your childs personality and behavior. It could be more disturbing to him seeing you but not having you there. You could always try it once and see how he reacts. After the first time we did not attempt it again.

J.H.

answers from San Antonio on

I can't see how it would hurt. I can only see how it would help him. While he would probably be ok for a shorter time away from you, a longer time away he needs to know that you're still around.

If I were you, I'd Skype. Read to him, play games or something, make it fun. And always close with something like "I'll see you on the computer tomorrow and I'll be home in XX days."

S.M.

answers from Dallas on

I had to be apart from my kids for about a month at that age, (2 and 3) and we didn't have skype back then, I did talk to them on the phone often, but I wish I had it available to us then. My kids were with my Mom and she had a good handle on how they were handling the separation, I think if I had to do it again, I would use the skype but be open to the fact that if it is h*** o* your child you will just have to change the plan... but I say go for it!

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N.C.

answers from Dallas on

Is your child going to be with someone he knows and loves? Parents so worry about this but really if kids are having a great time it is probably going to be you who is crying because he won't get on the Skype long enough to say hello.LOL I know how sad my daughter gets when they are gone and thinking about Luci all the time and she gets on the phone and will barely talk to them. Don't worry have a great time.
N. Cox
Mom of 7 Grandmother of 13

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Some kids this age, will miss you more if they 'see' you. And some will not.
So, gauge the child. I am sure, you know him pretty well?

Skype is great.
A child this age, does not have the concept of time/space/distance down pat, of course.
So, that is another consideration.

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D.C.

answers from Dallas on

I think you should do it. My son is 3 and a half and we have been doing Skype with a webcam since he was born with Daddy. My husband travels around the world and this is the only way to "see" Daddy and talk with him. My son loves it. Even when my husband is working in town my son wants to talk to Daddy on the computer. Just play up how really neat and cool it is and play peek-a-boo and just keep it light. He will be just fine....and so will you!

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R.M.

answers from Cumberland on

yes-if I could-that sounds cool!

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L.P.

answers from Dallas on

When our oldest was almost 3 we went on a 10 day trip to Europe and he stayed here with a friend. We would call and usually just talk to our friend, because everytime we called he got confused, wondered where we were, and then would cry like a previous answer said. I would see how he does, ask the person that is watching him if he is getting upset later on or if he is excited to talk to you on Skype. Just play it by ear and do what is best for him.

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C.C.

answers from Dallas on

You should absolutely do it! He will be thrilled to be able to see you while you're away. Last year, when my youngest was 3, I had to be away from her unexpectedly for one week and I regretted not having my laptop with me so we could Skype. She wanted to see me so badly, and vice versa. Just talking by phone didn't work too well . . . w/o being able to see me, she didn't fully understand that it was really me talking to her. 3 year olds are very astute -- we sometimes don't realize it because they don't have the verbal skills yet to speak about what they are thinking/feeling.

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M.C.

answers from Dallas on

Definately do it!! Worst case, he gets upset after the first time and you stop doing it.
I have an 18 month right now and we skype every night with different family members. He loves it! When my husband has to work late, we will skype on the phone to say good night and my son loves it too! I know it might be different since your since is 3, but I would think he would just think it was cool to see you and think of it as more of a 'game'. Plus when they hear your voice over it, they really know it is you! :)

G.T.

answers from Modesto on

I so would :)
Do it!
I have a Skype relationship with my 2.5 yr old granddaughter.

J.G.

answers from St. Louis on

When my older daughter and I were in Europe we skyped as much as we could with my younger two. They were older but still it is the same thing, what is harder trying to figure out, where mom and dad went, are they coming back, are they gone forever, which is more of what a child that age will think, or seeing they are okay on a computer screen?

Don't know if you have ever tried to skype from Europe but the time difference makes it really hard. When we got up they were asleep, when we got back to our hotel we were soooo tired.

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L.B.

answers from Chicago on

I haven't read the other responses, but I travel for work about every few months, and have been using Skype and my son (who is 3) and I both LOVE it! Of course he doesn't really understand the whole thing, he just knows he can see Mommy in the computer sometimes when I'm gone and we talk and he runs to get things to show them to me, we sing songs, sometimes recite parts his favorite books I have memorized, and our special silly tradition of showing each other our feet (I have no idea how this started but it makes him giggle which feeds my soul when I'm away!) But he usually only has about 5 minutes patience for all of this and then wants to run off and play, so I chat with my husband for a few. Sometimes I ask my husband to just leave it running when we're done for a bit so I can just watch and hear the normal home activities. It's really nice for me when I'm in "sterile" business hotel environments for 7-10 days. So as I get ready for my dinner event or whatever, I hear and see the sounds of home. And I get to play for a bit with my son. And it's all for free. Skype is fantastic.

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