Ettiquette Check

Updated on December 15, 2010
S.S. asks from Albertson, NC
25 answers

Isn't it in poor taste to send a wedding invitation and not put a stamp on the RSVP envelope?

There isn't a respond by phone or e-mail option either.

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So What Happened?

Thanks. I just wanted to know if I was over-reacting in thinking it was in poor taste.
I'm gonna give the girl the benefit of the doubt, but I still don't know if I'll remember to stop by the post office to mail the durn thing(which I suppose would be okay since we're declining to go in the first place). I never use stamps anymore!

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J.N.

answers from San Francisco on

Yes it is... but maybe a mistake, especially if they were stuffing, addressing, stamping 100 ++ invites. But if they are important to you, suck up the $0.44 and throw a stamp on. :-)

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S.L.

answers from Lexington on

it may or may not be good etiquette,but just put a stamp on it and reply - it may have simply been an oversight. Seems a silly thing to make an issue of!

4 moms found this helpful

K.B.

answers from Milwaukee on

Usually there is a stamp on the RSVP envelope.... it could be that it is an over sight or that among the 100 plus they did just missed a few. Honestly it is JUST a few cents for a person to put a stamp on so who cares if you have to put one on.

If there is an RSVP card and envelope it is not necessary to put a phone or e-mail option (for a wedding shower/bacholorett there is usually that info on there but not on a wedding invite). For have 100 plus people/families respond by e-mail or phone is too much unless they set up a specail account for the wedding, but there is no real ettiquette on that yet since it has only started to happen the past few years.

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N.S.

answers from Raleigh on

Oh for the love of Pete! Loosen up. The bride and groom are paying for a party, the least you can do is inconvenience yourself one teensy bit to buy a freakin' stamp and RSVP. And not RSVP'ing is a much bigger offense than omitting a stamp on an RSVP card, by the way, Miss Etiquette police.

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S.M.

answers from Washington DC on

Technically, RSVP cards at all are are traditionally tacky. A guest should write a note to respond. But since it is common practice, yes, they should have put a stamp on the return envelope :)

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S.R.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Many people have said it is rude not to put the stamp or perhaps it was a mistake. From your "so what happened", I think it is rude not to reply back and let her you aren't going. I hate guessing whether people are going to show up or not, she may pay for meals for people who didn't bother to reply and that is a huge waste of money.

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M.M.

answers from Washington DC on

Maybe she forgot the stamp.
I just got a wedding invitation without the RSVP return envelope at all, and no email or phone. HAHA Maybe your invited to my cousin's wedding.

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Yes. However, you should cut them some slack. It could be that there was a production line and the end person didn't do it. Or if its a young bride they may not have thought of it.

My SIL sent out invites that her best friend did on the computer. She scanned it, but didn't read it out loud. Not only was there no stamp on the return envelope, the RSVP phone # (the SIL's)was WRONG!! They soon found out when the owner of the phone number called them, and told them that 30 people had RSVP'd, she wasn't going to tell them who, and if that number was true!

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A.J.

answers from Williamsport on

I probably would not have thought to put a stamp on it. Nor would I be offended at putting a stamp on someone's RSVP.

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K.B.

answers from Kansas City on

I'm guessing it was by accident, I could see that happening if you are sending a hundred or more invites.

It's odd that it didn't include a phone number or email guessing that is an error that didn't get noticed.

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T.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

Say there was 100 invites. That is @44.00 in stamps...without counting the stamp on the actual invite. What if they truly could not afford the extra money? Please go and have fun and don't worry about the stamp.

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R.K.

answers from Boston on

I think you are making a big deal out of nothing and I cannot believe its that "hard" for you to go the post office and buy a stamp to mail it in fact you don't even have to go to the post office to buy a stamp you can get them at lots of different stores now at the customer service desk. I would be a lot ruder of you to not RSVP then for the bride to have forgotten a stamp. You make yourself sound like one of those people that are impossible to please.

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K.H.

answers from Huntington on

I'll bet it was a 'missed one'. I have given up trying to understand modern wedding ettiquette, although I cringe at the people who list registry info on the actual invitation itself!!

I had a funny story around this from my own wedding. I did not send cards with my wedding invitations. I got the idea from a close friend from a well-to-do family who had not done so, either. I thought it would be nice to get personal responses. Well, I was wrong!!! I got SO MANY complaints from people, and comments like, 'mine must have been forgotten, b/c it was not in the envelope.' They looked at me like I had 4 heads when I suggested they just send me a note.

Now, my story was was 10 years ago. I tend to be more on the old fashioned side about these things. (like, I refused to send envelopes around at my baby shower so people could fill in their own address...I hate that!!), but when it comes to RSVPing anymore, I feel like any way to convey your attendance is acceptable. I love seeing an email address somewhere. About the only thing you can get people to RSVP to anymore is a wedding.

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Tacky....even tackier would be a phone# or email to respond.

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M.H.

answers from Dallas on

I would think so but I got one without a stamp just this week.

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C.M.

answers from Myrtle Beach on

I got an invitation, and didn't send it back bc of that! They had no other response either! I think if were a very close friend I would have, but I was annoyed :-)

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A.C.

answers from Cincinnati on

I bet it was an accident, but no one reads Peggy Post anymore, so it might have been ignorance. I'm shocked at how many etiquette mistakes people make when it comes to weddings (and showers, etc.).

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E.R.

answers from Chicago on

Yes, that's rude. If they wanted you to RSVP by mail, they should have included the stamp. When I got married in May, we mailed out invites, but had a website for RSVP. It was free and very handy for out of town guests because it also had directions, etc. on it. oh well, what can you do?

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M.F.

answers from Phoenix on

Yes, but apparantly a lot of people, including people who aren't scraping for every penny, are doing it these days.

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W.M.

answers from Nashville on

I would say it is but that is just me. Not sure what proper etiquette is these days. Surely you know their phone number if you are receiving a wedding invitation?? I know some can't afford the stamp for all but then they should at least have an email option.

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V.C.

answers from Wheeling on

Didn't read your responses (yet), but so many RSVP's never get returned that maybe it's becoming optional whether or not to pay return postage or not. Also could've been an oversight (on yours).

If you're not good enough friends with them to overlook such a little thing, maybe you should just ignore the invite. Don't buy a gift, and don't go.

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E.M.

answers from Louisville on

yes but things happen and people can miss one and that may just be the case

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A.P.

answers from Memphis on

I received a wedding invite like that this summer and I know it was them intentionally trying to save money by not putting stamps on it. Yes, the RSVP envelope is supposed to have a stamp on it. I refused, out of principal, to put my own stamp on the envelope, and I was able to give it to the bride in person. If I didn't have that option of seeing someone in the bride/groom's family before the RSVP was due then I would have used telephone, e-mail or a person to relay the RSVP to the couple.

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H.W.

answers from Raleigh on

Yes!
You could always call or e-mail to let them know whether or not your coming. They won't care, just as long as they get a response!

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