Esaid No One Ever

Updated on January 02, 2013
L.M. asks from Conneaut, OH
26 answers

"I wish my husband would buy me clothes for Christmas"

Would you want that?

just out of the blue on his own because he enjoys giving gifts

sil said she would, so some one explain that one to me

What can I do next?

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So What Happened?

Sorry it was confusing more of a vent and wtf. Sil knows my dh has many good qualities but is often very unrealistic about somethings. His taste in clothes for one. We have been married 15 yrs and she has been around for all of them. She actually picks out nice sweaters for me and she has seen a few of the crazy things he has bought me and seemed sympathetic. So when she asked me what he bought me for xmas and I named 2 generic things like slippers and a book I asked for. Dh piped up tooting his horn about this great dress he bought me. ( mind u while I said thank you and said maybe I would wear it the next time we went out. I thinkv he picked up that I wasn't wild for it.) Her response seemed totally stupid to me. " I wish I had an ugly cream colored polka dot clown dress instead of the awesome expensve and totally appropriate surprise gift that her dh bought her. It was prob just her way of making small talk but I wanted to smother her in the polyester polka dots.
So just venting. And I have tried returning even if its the wrong size he gets upset, I've tried picking stuff out and directing him. To buy it, he got upset. I try jusy not wearing it. He will pull it out of the back of my closet and ask me to wear it. He always picks cream, I'm fair and it washes me out NO ONE ever compliments me when I wear the stuff he buys. I wouldn't care if it was a tshirt or pj's. Or if I had a whole closet of clothes that mde me feel great. But he makes me feel like I can't dress myself and that he hates thbe clothes I wear. And to be honest, it doesn't seem manly to me that he even care what I wear as long as I look nice I'll live because there are other good things he does. But this is a sore spot for me and I thought sil knew that. Thanks for the vent even if u think I'm selfish and crazy. And I ttpyed this on my phone so I hope there are paragraphs.

Featured Answers

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Maybe when you've been together for a while (20+ years) you'll get it.
Yes, I like it when my hubby gives me clothes.
It shows he understands me, my styles, tastes and preferences.
And that's pretty freaking romantic :-)

8 moms found this helpful
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K.O.

answers from Atlanta on

I like when my husband buys me clothes. He tends to buy me the nice things that I have a hard time justifying on my own - designer jeans, a dress from white house black market, lounge pants from Victoria's secret, nice coat from Nordstrom, a matching golf outfit etc. He knows my size and is pretty good and picking out things he knows I'd like.

For this Christmas he had actually gotten me the exact sweater I had been eyeing in the store but could never convince myself that I should spend the money on it. Funny thing is - I never showed him it or mentioned it to him.

I think if someone is wishing for that - it means that their spouse knows them and their tastes very well.

5 moms found this helpful
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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

I hate for anyone to buy me clothing other than myself. My mom tries to buy me clothes all the time. they are always to short or to long, or to tight. My daughter on the other hand had a husband who was spot on with size, color, shape etc. she loved it when a box would come in the mail from him while he was deployed. it meant he had shopped online (amazing right) and picked her out something and had it shipped.

4 moms found this helpful

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A.F.

answers from Fargo on

I love it when my husband buys me clothes! He has fantastic taste.

6 moms found this helpful

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

I get new Victoria's Secret pj's from hubby every Christmas along with a generous gift card to my favorite mall.

I love it!!

Lol at Laurie... Yesterday was our 24th anniversary

. In the beginning he could pick something very nice out for me. Now... He can't recall that I'm not 27 and he needs our daughters guidance. I've had to train him... You can look classy and not trashy!!! Bless his heart, it's in a good place.

I am NOT saying 27yr olds are trashy. My hubs would buy my clothes from the same places daughter ( now 18) shops..... Hollister, etc. He's learning ( after 24 yrs and I'm not in my 20's any longer) to go to Nordstrom, etc !!

5 moms found this helpful
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K.F.

answers from Salinas on

I too get VS panties and pjs every Christmas. My husband has great taste, the last few years I've also received beautiful sweaters from Anthropologie, cute jewelery and scarves or gloves.

What would he get me but clothes? Somehow a gift card from our joint bank account seems a little impersonal. I guess I'm lucky, he knows me well and enjoys picking things out for me. I love my gifts this year!

4 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

I don't have a problem with my husband or my boys picking clothes out for me and buying them. So, yes. I would say that.

My husband and boys can actually be REALLY good "fashion-minded" men...my son picked out an outfit for me that I get compliments on EVERY time I wear it. He's 10.

Your husband SHOULD know you better than anyone else. He can easily look in the closet to see what size you wear. He knows your tastes - or at least SHOULD know your taste - and what HE WOULD LIKE to see you in.

I would LOVE it if my husband came home with an outfit for me - just because - then say something like "we're going out for dinner this evening...wear this, please."

4 moms found this helpful
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M.O.

answers from New York on

Would I want my husband to buy me clothes? Sure. He knows my size, and I'd probably take it as a "hint, hint, you'd look cute in this; wear it when we go out." My husband likes for me to wear girlier things than I choose for myself, but I'd be flattered if he bought me something. I don't understand why this is a problem.

4 moms found this helpful
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R.K.

answers from Appleton on

At least you were remembered. In the 5.75 yrs my ex and I were married IF I received 5 gifts I was lucky, this includes my birthday, Christmas, Anniversary, Valentines, Mother's day -- I received NOTHING.

This year my kids got me ZERO for Christmas absolutely nothing -- nada. At least they all remembered my birthday.

Ask where he purchased them and exchange them.

4 moms found this helpful

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

Maybe her husband is a good clothes buyer. Early in our marriage, my husband would go shopping with me and pick out stuff for me to try on. It rarely was anything "I" would have pulled off the rack---but it would look great once I tried it on.
He has bought me many clothing items over the years that I absolutely love. The flannel bathrobe (with crushed velvet collar and cuffs) that I still wear every winter is but one item I can name right off the top of my head.

He doesn't pick out purses or wallets for me (he knows how particular I am about those things), but he is pretty good with actual clothing. As I type this I am wearing the new bedroom slippers he gave me for Christmas this year.

If your husband is good at it, of course you'd like him to pick out clothes for you. If your husband is NOT good at it, of course you wouldn't understand it.

-slacks
-green courderoy pants
- sweaters (multiple over the years)
-jackets
-winter coats
-leather driving gloves
-scarves
-PJs (multiple sets of cozy winter pj's)

all of the items in the list above, my husband has bought for me without me being part of the buying decision. And I have enjoyed them all.

3 moms found this helpful
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B..

answers from Dallas on

My husband is REALLY good at buying me clothing. He knows better then I do, what looks and fits well. I HATE shopping, so I love letting him buy me stuff. He hates shopping, also...so it doesn't happen often.

3 moms found this helpful

S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

I like it when my husband buys me clothes as a gift. I will never buy myself clothes that aren't on sale (and I usually buy them used), but my husband will pay full price, so it's a treat. My husband and I have been together 25 years, he knows where I shop, what brands and styles I like, and my size. Sometimes he will buy me something I would not have bought myself because he thought it would look good, and he's been right. He always keeps the receipt in case I need to exchange or return. I buy all of his clothes.

3 moms found this helpful
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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

I've had boyfriends who dressed me like a doll... And sakes alive Ive MISSED that! My exhusband had no taste, nor did he care (as a few mentioned below: its pretty freakin romantic to have someone who gets you that much... And durn lucky that they have a good eye).

There's different levels of clothes buying, as well.

There's the dress in a box for a special event.
There's the worlds best jeans.
There's a new winter coat
There's snowpants or gym clothes
There's lacy lingerie
There's boots, heels, etc.

Things one needs, things one wants, things one desires...

Really. Not everyone is good at shopping, or noticing (wanted/needed/desired AND the eye to see what would look good)... But for those who do?

Durn lucky.

3 moms found this helpful
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A.T.

answers from New York on

Depends on the man......some are thoughtful and attentive, some arent, doesn't make him less of a man, just one that doesnt like to do it. I allowed my husband to give me gifts all through HS and in my early 20's, I finally just figured it out, we do not have the same taste nor does he have the patience to figure it out. I'm ok with that and buy my own gifts and usually say.....look what you got me honey, I love it. Also depends on your relationship and how comfortable you are in your own skin about things like this.

2 moms found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

Depends on the husbands taste.

My husband used to purchase beautiful clothes for me..

This was when we first married. Seems my taste changed, but he still thinks i am 22 years old..

Every once in a while.. he gets it right, but he has to have our daughter guide him..

2 moms found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

My husband bought me clothes for Christmas/my birthday and they were awesome. He got me a neat Stargate shirt and a Captain America hoodie. I think if your husband knows your taste, it would turn out fine.

2 moms found this helpful

P.M.

answers from Indianapolis on

I didn't even let hubby pick out my wedding ring lol

1 mom found this helpful

A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

so not where i thought this question was going.

not sure we can explain why someone we don't know would want her hubby to buy her clothes for christmas...

from four lines..

rest easy. i'm sure somewhere in the universe it's a naturally occurring phenomenon. i'd be thrilled if i could say this in all honesty. sounds like they have a great thing going!

1 mom found this helpful
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A.C.

answers from Dallas on

gift card to your favorite place for clothes....then a date with DH to buy the clothes for you and have lunch

1 mom found this helpful
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J.B.

answers from Boston on

Ugh no! My husband tries to get me workout gear for Christmas. It's never the brand or style or size that I actually wear. Finally this year I told him that I have returned or donated every single pair of yoga pants, running pants, running tops etc. that he has ever bought and to give me the receipt for what he bought this year (wrong size, unflattering style) and said don't buy clothes for me ever again. I really tried to get this message across more gently in the past - and have never asked for this stuff, always suggest other non-clothing gifts - but he wasn't getting it so I had to practically bludgeon him over the head with a harsh "stop wasting your time and money I'll never, ever wear this" message.

1 mom found this helpful
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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Bless him, he's tried! I do like his taste but usually, it's not what I need.

I much prefer gift cards so I can do my own shopping--solo!

I always feel sorry for the guys sitting outside the dressing room, don't you?
I always feel they are either
1.) control freaks
2.) atoning for doing something horrible
or
3.) married to someone that can't even pick out her own clothes!

My .02

1 mom found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

No way! I like to buy my own clothes and pick out my own jewelry too. I really don't like surprises and I am picky.

1 mom found this helpful

C.M.

answers from Washington DC on

my husband got me 2 T shirts and a sweatshirt for christmas. I did help him by e mailing him the links to what I wanted, but he did go and buy them in the store and I LOVE them :)

1 mom found this helpful

D.P.

answers from Detroit on

I think it's ok but it has not work in our home. My down to earth live in a 10 year old tshirt wonderful man goes to the extreme if I let him buy me clothes. One year I wanted snow pants he ran to Northface and got me one on sale for $150. P.S. I don't ski I just wanted it for backyard fun rolling around with my toddler. Without thought of his feelings (seriously, he did not care), I returned them and got a cheepo one for <$20. He did this with sweats too. I returned those too. hahah I am awful. This year I finally got what I wanted...nothing. He finally realized that I really wanted nothing. Don't feel too bad, he does let me buy whatever and whenever as long as the bills get paid. I did get myself a nice plum wool coat and got his bonus check, the money his mom gave him and his gift card from work. OH NO! I just realized I am making myself sound so awful and him so wonderful. Oh well, he is wonderful.*blush*

1 mom found this helpful

M.B.

answers from Tampa on

I got hello kitty pajamas from my husband and some new bare minerals eyeshadows:)

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D..

answers from Miami on

Could you re-word this? It's not clear what you mean here...

Thanks,
Dawn

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