Encouragement Needed...

Hi A.,

You can worry yourself sick about what others think, but it will be futile. Others will always judge,but they are not the ones who even sit in the judgement seat. The Bible tells us not to worry about what anyone else thinks, only what your soveriegn Lord thinks. God is the one who has authority to judge and has authority to give and take away.

It is written: "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps."- Proverbs 16:9.
Birth control is a manmade thing, an attempt to steer our life. The reality is that it is God who decided your life should be blessed by these children, and he thought you were worthy enough for these blessings. The Bible says God will equip you for every good work... isn't that a wonderful promise? And God doesn't lie.
"God is able to make all grace abound in you, so that in ALL things at ALL times, having ALL that you need, you will abound in every good work". -2 Corinthians 9:8

The road might be difficult at times, but any suffering produces perseverence, and perseverence character, and character, hope, and hope does not dissapoint us. As humans we will all face different difficulties depending on what God decided we should have. Someone else's difficulties might be no sight, lameness, sickness, or to born into poverty.

"Do not worry" is written in many places in the Bible! Satan would like to convince you that you are not cradled in the hands of your maker. If you trust God with your life, I mean really beleive that he is LORD and takes care of all your needs, he will not dissapoint. The lord would like to see you build your faith in HIM into the hearts of the little ones that he gifted to you. "If all your sons will be taught by the Lord, great will be your children's peace" -Isaiah 54:13

"The Lord tends his flock (us) like a shpherd,
He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart,
he gently leads those who have young" -Isaiah 40:11

"I know the plans I have for you" declares the lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future" -Jeremiah 29:11

Wheather you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying "This is the way, walk in it".- Isaiah 30:21

A. ~

You are so right when you said that this pregnancy is a blessing from God. Yes, it will be a challenge to be breastfeeding for another year, and have three kids under 5, but it is all front end work. Your children will always have each other to play with and will grow up very close in age that their relationships will be stronger because of it. Now, as far as feeling like a bad mother or woman because you didn't use birth control one time - please stop. You are better than that, and you should dismiss any negativity around this baby. It;s like blaming the girl because she is pregnant...Your husband hopefully will be happy, and who cares what anyone else thinks. You have a great family that you are the matriarch and your energy needs to be on having a happy, wholesome family that loves and cares about each other. All other relationships can take a hike if they can't support that this baby is coming and will need everyone to bring it into a happy world!
So, you let that guilt go, and you stop worrying. Give your husband a chance to let it soak in, then celebrate the life that is coming. God will not give you anything you can't handle, so remember, you have everything you need to be a terrific mom to 3 kids!

M. S

Just as God has blessed you with another child, He will also give you the strength and wisdom for this unexpected gift. His timetable is not our timetable, but His plans are perfect. My husband and I got pregnant after 6 months of marriage and then upon delivery, were surprised to have twins instead of just one. Our children are now 31 years old and we have made it through the good and difficult times. My encouragement to you is remember that God will provide whatever you need to see you through. Ask for and take whatever help is offered from loving family and friends. One of our close friends from church came over and did our laundry for us. I was embarrassed that she folded our unmentionables, but she wasn't and I really needed help around the house.

My sister had 3 kids within 4 years and with my mother's help (my sister worked full-time outside the home), they got through those very busy and demanding early years. It will get better as they get older! My sister's kids are all grown up now and very close and loyal to one another. Remembering the big picture will also help you through the rough times.

Lastly, hey, we're here for you too! You'll make it!

Lucky you, another blessing! Tell your hubby, then talk to your OB about weaning your 10 mo. old. You can totally handle this!

You don't fully know the best birth control for you yet, but look what a great opportunity to learn! And who cares what anyone else thinks. Like we've all had everything in our lives go exactly according to our own master plans...

Hell, I'm excited for you and I don't even know you. It's perfectly normal to be anxious for the moment. Okay, so it wasn't part of the plan. Make it the plan now, and work the plan. You are so very fortunate to have two already, to be able to stay at home, and to have a loving husband.

I'm hoping this one's a boy! Good luck!

Well congratulations on your pregnancy, and new baby to come. You will have alot on your plate but you can do it, You had 2 close together and handled/ are handling that okay and you will handle this too. I just had my 2nd son, unplanned pregnancy, I was still breastfeeding and never got a period and got pregnant. I was really worried about what people would think, and some people are really judgmental and will cast judgment on you but just ignore them, what is right for your family is between you and God and your family. Anyone who is not happy for you has there own issues and insecurities with their own self. I experienced this judgment and it hurt at first but I realised it was their problem not mine. You are not alone, Many, many, many women in this world, rich and poor have had multiple babies close together and are great moms and have wonderful families. Your reality will sink in, and you will embrace your pregnant self and new baby, and so will your husband and parents. After my last baby at 6 weeks I got an IUD, totally safe and non hormonal birth control that works for us
I am happy for you, and understand your anxiety, you will be a great mama of 3!
Breastfeed as long as you feel good, I stopped at 16 months when I was 5 months along b/c I was tired and needed more energy. The pregnancy hormones did not seem to bother my nursing son

HI A.,
Congrats on baby number 3. You know you will do just fine. It wasn't in your plan, but it is God's and He knows you can do it. It might seem hard to be prenant and nurging all the time, I know, I have done that for 8 years. I wouldn't trade it for anything. Just weaning my last at 22 months. Oh I have 7.
When people ask me if I know what causes this and other rude questions that are none of their business, I tell them, "yes I do and apparently we are good at it." Usually shuts them right up. Don't be embarassed, you're doing what God designed you to do. BTW, we were done at 2. I wouldn't change a thing about my life. I stay home and school my kids.
Will pray for you and your blessing. Oh weaning, ask your MD, but if you are low risk, you can nurse for many months. YOu may get too tired though. Listen to your body.
By God's Grace,
Stac

God doesn't give you more than you can handle! Just know that you can do this, and everything really will fall into place. As far as family members bothering you, it really is none of their business. This is your life, and just let their negativity fall to the side! You and your family are the most important thing! Best of luck, and enjoy your time with your family. Every moment is precious!

Congrats to you! Don't worry about what people think. Three is a normal size family. My mother, who is very conservative, had 3 and she said that in her day, 5 was the norm and most people were poor. No one knows what is best for your life but you. Make sure you take those pre-natel vits again and some B-12. They will give you the energy you will need. Also, join a mothers group later just to get some sanity. Take Care and God Bless!!

Last year a dear friend of mine found herself unexpectedly pregnant for the third time. She already had 18 month old twins and a special needs 5 year old. She stressed about having yet another baby through the whole pregnancy, but now that her newest daughter is here she says each day things somehow just work out. Line up all the help you can get!
As far as your parents/friends you just have to bite the bullet and tell them - unfortunately my friend was subjected to the "did you figure out what's causing that yet?" joke several times but it blew over quickly and most of her family/friends were helpful and supportive.

You will survive this! I do however, recommend that you don't try and be supermom. Start weening your baby now, 10 months of breastfeeding is long enough and you need a break before new baby comes along. Secondly, line up help now! If you can't afford it, figure out a way that your husband can set aside money for daycare for at least one of the children so you can get some rest while new baby and second baby are napping. If you don't schedule in time for you to rest and get a break (away from the babies), you'll not be a happy mommy and if mamma's not happy, nobody's happy! Lastly,double baby proof your house now because if you plan to nurse the 3rd baby, you'll want to be sure the other two are safe. Good luck, you will need to pull your strength from within and don't be shy about asking for help from friend's and family.

Well I would tell your husband first about the baby and then as a united couple tell everyone else, no one needs to know you didn't use BC (except your hubby of course). If you think you're done having kids though maybe you and hubby should have the vasectomy talk so you don't have to worry about it again.

As for nursing you can continue nearly through the entire pregnancy. I think towards the end the milk will taper off on its own. My cousin nursed her first child through 7 months of pregnancy and they picked right back up again after the baby was born- just a little though at nap times and always after the baby had nursed first. (Not that different from nursing twins really she said.)

Don't worry you'll pull together with the kids. My daughter was 3 when her brother was born and that was old enough for her to understand what to expect and even help out. She would bring me diapers and hold her brother's hands while I changed him. She even feeds him now (it's so cute, she'll chew up a single piece of rice and give it to him one at a time!) and she loved playing with him in the beginning - he had a little bouncy chair and she would bouncy him (with supervision) and dance and read to him. She loved being "teacher." I don't know what to advise about your middle child other than to make sure you share a lot of special attention time cuddling so there isn't so much jealousy because at that age it's not so easy to understand a newcomer I would think but you've already been there once so I'm sure you're old hat now. :)

Congrats on the new baby!

I didn't have three under three, but I had three under five. I found out I was pregnant with my third (oops!) when my daughter was 6 mos. I never would have planned that, but when my son was born I quickly figured out how to deal with it and the two of them being close in age turned out to be GREAT!

I immediately weaned my daughter, because I was worn out and didn't think my body could support two kids. In hindsight I might have let her nurse longer but, whatever.

You'll do fine. Don't worry.

Hi A.!
First off congratulations!!! All babies are truly a miracle from God. As for feeling overwhelmed, I've been there. I had 2 children and then talked hubby in to one more which actually became two more (yes they are twin) I cried a lot during the pregnancy trying to figure out how I was going to manage. I'm happy to say the twins are now 8! So, you definitely can handle more than you think you can. You are capable of doing so much more than you give yourself credit for. (Aren't we all this way?) I'll take a little time to adjust to the new one just like it took time to adjust to going from one to two. As for the nursing, I'd try to wean right at a year so in a few months since your baby will be old enough to drink regular milk and will also be getting all the nutrients from the food she will be eating.
Best of luck to you!

Hey A.,

Well my kids are not as close..but I'm having #4 and had the same anxiety over it. By the time my new little one is born in Oct., I'll have a 7, 6, 3 and a newborn. I was so nervous telling anyone, it even took a couple of days to tell my husband. We live in small house, don't make a lot of money, and I knew most people will think we are nuts. Sure we didn't get the warmest responses and I felt sad about it but I also knew that was coming. But at the same time, God has a plan, and it is our life not theirs. As long as we can handle it, that is what matters. Once I came to term with that way of thinking, everything became ok. Now people are happy for us and they seem to come to that conclusion too. Don't worry so much what other people think because at the end of the day it's just you and your family. It will be harder the first few years but my kids play together all the time and it will be awesome when they are older and can always rely on each other. Built in playmates. It's hard to think of the bigger picture and the future..but it will be great and you will be thankful. As far as weaning, I've always weaned at 1 year. Normally they were ready to do so and we were just down to nighttime feedings. Make sure to increase your normal foods so that she is eating three meals a day and before she sleeps. Start taking the nap time feedings away first, laying her down when she is really tired and she'll eventually fall asleep on her own. It just takes a couple of days to get through it and she won't need to breast feed anymore. It sucks but they never remember the moment..just as an assurance to you..:) My last two used pacifiers until 18 months so I let them fall asleep with that instead when I weaned. And at 18 months they were ready to be rid of that too. We just couldn't find them one day and they were ok without it. I wouldn't go past 18 months cause then it gets ridiculous to get rid of it when the kids and can argue about it..:)

Good luck, find peace, and just love the blessings you have.

J.

Hi there! I was in the exact same situation 4 years ago...I had a 2 year old and a 9 month old when we decided to be "done" with kids and boom...got pregnant again, also on a ONE time deal! But, our third arrived (they're all 18 months apart) and it's been just fine. It was a little hard in the beginning since I have no family around, but it's all doable. The most difficult was breastfeeding #3 while keeping the other two outta trouble! But, now they are 6, 4.5 and 3 and it's SOOOOOO nice to see them all playing together happily and interested in the same things (they're all boys). So, you'll be just fine and it's really nice to have them all in a row. You might as well, while you're in the "mode"! I weaned my second at about 10 months old as well...it's the perfect time because they don't really know what's happening. Just start cutting out one feeding per day and gradually you'll be done. The only problem with breastfeeding while your pregnant is it can be uncomfortable, but otherwise it's no problem. Anyways, best of luck to you!
Cheers,
J

check out lalecheleague online. You can breastfeed a toddler and baby at the same time.

I have three kids. I decided to have a second child whom was born when my first was 4. Then when my second was 1, I found out I was pregnant again and I was on the birth control pill. The low dose pills that they doctors prescribe when breastfeeding are very risky (so I found out the hard way). I cried a lot and was scared, but never considered abortion. I tell you it has been rough, but I don't have a lot of help from my husband. You will also have 3 that are very young, but it is all worth it. It really is a blessing. I can't tell you how much joy and happiness our third child has brought to our home. The three kids are so happy together and there is SO much love in our home. However to avoid any more kids, I had a tubal ligation after my third was born (the hospital left the epidural in my back and wheeled my right into surgery).

It is hard - no doubt - but well worth it. I always figured there is a reason for things. Good luck!

P.S. People used to always tell me they hadn't seen me in years to where I wasn't pregnant or nursing.

A.,

As you stated, babies are gifts from God. Relish in this happy time and be thankful that you are physically able to conceive and have children. While this was not your intended plan, it will be okay. Have you heard the saying "If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans". Basically, things of this grandeur are left up to divine intervention. Be happy that your children will be close in age and have each other to rely on in the future. In regards to how to tell your parents and even your husband, I believe telling them from a happy place will make the news easier to receive. They love you and this baby will be loved as well. Plans are ment to be changed/ altered. I understand your issues around breastfeeding for several years in a row, but at least your supply and flow will not be disrupted. You can ween your youngest within the next two months and be able and ready for the next baby by the time she/ he arrives. It will be okay. Remember babies are blessings and your loved ones will feel the same. CONGRATULATIONS!!
- T.

When our first child had his 2nd birthday, everyone said, "When are you going to give him a sister or brother?" Then when we had four children six and under everyons said, "When are you going to stop!" Birth control does not always work (child 3 and 4) and they are so blessings. It really isn't anyone's business but I know they will want to be told something! Talk to your husband and see what he says. Maybe, "We always wanted our kids close in age." They can all grow up together! Ask your doctor about breast feeding. I don't know when a pg Mom needs to stop.
F.

Hi A.,
I am not in your situation, but I trust you will find the best way to tell your husband and family and friends. Don't worry about any judgment about your ability to use birth control. They don't have to walk in your shoes. Shame on anyone for judging you!

I just wanted to let you now that you don't have to wean just because you are pregnant. Get support from La Leche League and www.kellymom.com and learn more about nursing while pregnant. I have 2 friends in my play group that nursed their toddlers still while pregnant with their second child.

Congratulations! My mom had 3 of us under 3. It can be done!

My best friend was in your same position. She just got GOOD at being a mom to toddlers/babies. She was tired a lot for a couple of years, but now she LOVES having 3 so close in age because they can play together so much (they are 7, 6, and 4.5 now) I think you just have to expect to be tired, know that as they get bigger it will get easier, and live in the moment of diapers, naps, carseats and giggles. I wouldn't waste even one minute worrying about what other people think. This is YOUR family~ everyone does their family their own way. Good luck!

I just want to echo the mom who said you don't have to wean your 10 month old if you don't want to. I've known a number of moms who continued to breastfeed through pregnancy and then tandem nursed their toddler and infant. If you're up for it then why put your 10 month old through the stress of weaning if she's obviously not ready? It's possible that she may wean herself as the milk composition changes through your pregnancy, but I think it's better to cross that bridge when your baby is ready for it, and not artificially cut short her nursing.

There's a book called "Adventures in Tandem Nursing" by H. Flower. I haven't read it, but it's widely praised as an excellent resource for anyone who has even considered tandem nursing. If my daughter is still nursing when I get pregnant again I'll be sure to pick up a copy!

Here's a link to the book on amazon.com:

http://www.amazon.com/Adventures-Tandem-Nursing-Breastfee...

Good luck to you, A.! You'll do fine - God doesn't give us challenges we can't handle! :)

I've learned that people will talk no matter what. You have already said that you wanted more kids so you just got your little blessing a little earlier then planned. :) Congratulations! You will find a way to make it work with 3 kids under 3. I have had friends that have done it and they say the first year is tough but then it gets easier. I assure you that you will look back later and won't be able to imagine your life without this new little addition. It will work out, so try to relax and enjoy your pregnancy. Congratulations again!

Jen

I don't have any personal experience with this, but I have family and friends that have. My mom had twins when my older brother was just 18 months old. Three kids under the age of two! She's always said she just took it one day at a time and asked family and friends for help whenever possible. I'm living proof that it can be done and the kids turn out just fine. :o)

As for the inevitable comments from others, you should start out your announcement with how excited you are that your kids will be so close in age. It will help set the tone that this child is not a 'mistake' or a 'suprise', but a much loved and welcome addition to your family. Excitement is contagious, you can even catch it from yourself. :o)

Lastly I would recommend begining to wean the 10 month old now. I don't know what your current schedule for nursing is, but here's my 2 cents on a reasonable strategy... Always feed solids before nursing at each feeding. Let her eat as much as she can and offer water, or very watered down juice (10 to 1), from a sippy cup then nurse for as short as possible. Since she will be pretty full already this part will be pretty easy. After about a week fo this, she will be getting most of her nutrition from solids and not so much from nursing so you can safely start dropping nursings. Start with the mid-day feeding since that is the easiest to drop. Within a month or so you should have a fully weaned baby, with no need to switch over to expensive formula/bottles. Just make sure you use baby cereal as part of the solids each day to make sure she gets enough iron. I always mixed cereal with the pureed baby food to thicken/stretch it anyway, so this is not difficult.

I know it will all work out for you. The Lord is with you and your family and He's capable of anything! :o)

Hey A. -

I feel ya girl. My husband and I planned on having two kids and had twins on the second round. Sooooooooooo, yes, it's CRAZY!

So, although you planned on three and got your third a little earlier than expected, my only advice is this: Don't wear yourself out. If you're not up to breastfeeding your third child, take a break for your own sanity. Mine are all formula fed and just fine. Don't let anyone guilt you into it. But if you're heart is set on it, then you will do what you need to do to get by.

Take a deep breath and enjoy yourself. Supposedly, the time goes by so fast that you miss it when it's gone. I have three boys under three - a two year old and 9 month old twins, so I'll believe that when I see it. :)

Keep smiling! It's the only way!

haha.

Best of luck,
C.

Hi A.,

First, congratulations on your newest addition. You have every right to be nervous and scared. I am the oldest of nine and two of my sisters had 3 under 3.

My mother and my sisters took a lot of deep breaths. You should know that my mother had 3 under 2 years because the next two came at once (twins) and on top of that, both my arms were broken from a bad fall. How she survived was people came to her aide. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Spend a lot of time at the park. And don't be afraid to expect more from the older ones.

You are going to be a great mom to those 3 children and they are lucky to have you. Just remember to take a lot of deep breaths.

D.

A., Bravo to you! I went through the same thing, but was pregnant with my 4th! I was so worried about how to handle it, but now that I made it through, It really wasn't that bad. The worrying probably made it more stressful for me than I needed it to be. People still ask me, "Four girls? How do you do it?" and my answer to them is "I don't worry about everything, I just do it!"
If you love being a mom, everything will fall into place naturally.
One thing I will say is take care of yourself and get some rest. I was so tired when I was pregnant with #3 and having 2 toddlers. Get the 2 little ones to nap on the same schedue and nap with them, or when they nap. Don't worry about the house while they are asleep, take care of yourself, especially when you are pregnant and nursing. This will drain your energy, as you are now giving all your nutrition to 2 little ones and there is not much left for you! My doc said to try to wean when I became pregnant, but I couldn't quit that quickly. I will say the more food they eat, the less nursing they needed. A little formula is fine.
I nursed all my girls up to between 10 and 13 months and they are all healthy and rarely are in the doctors office, supplementing with a little formula until they are 1 worked for our family.
And as far as telling your family, just tell them how thrilled you are but you are a little nervous and will be so glad to have their support.
If anyone askes THOSE questions like, was this baby an accident, or don't you know haow to use birth control, my favorite answer was one I read in dear abby; Follow the tacky question with this:
"If You'll forgive me for not answering, I'll forgive you for asking." I always told my family That all of my girls are wonderful gifts in our lives, the next child will be just as wonderful. It's easly to be nervous if you haven't met them yet. But once that little face comes out, you instantly forget all the worry. You will be so happy and I applaud you for being a wonderful, concerned caring mom. Take care of you and best of luck and happiness to you all.

Wait to tell family etc. until you have passed the 12 week mark - just in case something goes wrong. This will give you and your hubby time to process and adjust to the new addition privately.
My sister-in-law & baby brother had 3 kids in 3 years. We all thought they were nuts because they were both unemployed and living with my parents. However - we were just worried about how they would feed another baby when they couldn't feed the 2 they had without my mom & dad.
We adore the kids - the parents eventually got their act together and bought a house etc. and all 3 are on honor roll in their grade school and nobody thinks or comments about the beginning. At this point - my sister-in-law is done with diapers and really enjoying her kids. The first few years were hard - the oldest is a boy and potty trained very late - but that's all done.
So, you'll get the toughest part over with quicker than if the kids were farther apart and they will probably be very close to each other as they grow up.
I've been told by many parents that the adjustment from 1 kid to 2 is the rough one and any more kids just fall into place like they've always been there.
It's normal to worry and feel scared - don't beat yourself up about it.
My son will be 5 1 month before our #2 comes along - we tried for 2 years...and I am still worried about how I will keep everyone happy and on schedule. My son will be a big help when he feels like it - but he is also very jealous of my attentions and that will be a big adjustment.
You guys will adjust and rejoice, you'll see!
If anyone says anything negative - just say "So, does that mean you're volunteering to help out?" See how fast they shut up or step up! :)

Dear A.,
I know you're feeling a bit surprised and overwhelmed, but congratulations!
My grandmother told me that she cried and cried when she got pregrant with my father so soon after my uncle was born. She already had her hands full with a toddler and a little baby. And, that was back in the days when there was no such thing as disposable diapers and modern laundry appliances, microwaves, etc.
To make a long story short, my father was her joy. He was such a happy baby. She thought maybe she'd cried so much that he came into the world not really needing to. With the boys being so close in age, it really wasn't much different than if she'd had twins. My dad and his brother were inseperable.
God didn't give my grandmother a baby she wasn't planning to be ready for, he gave two boys and their older sister a life-long bond.
You will find a routine, you will find a way that works for your family. Not every day will be sunshine and roses, but you will know every day that you've been blessed. Honey, if women could do it 70 years ago in a 2 bedroom house with one bathroom and raise awesome kids, women can do it now.

I don't have any advice on how to tell your husband, but I really wouldn't worry about what your parents or friends say regarding whether or not you "know" how to use birth control. You're a married woman. That part is nobody's business. People get pregnant even if they use birth control 100% of the time. I know someone pregnant right now 6 years after their last child and doing everything NOT to get pregnant. Well, everything except for NOT having sex. You might not have been planning this baby, but that doesn't mean it can't be the happiest surprise. Hopefully your family and friends will be happy too and be there to support you and encourage you. The main thing is to take care of yourself, eat well, and get as much rest as you can.

Very best wishes!

A.-

I hope you are encouraged by the responses! I have 5 children my oldest is 12, then the barrage of children began! The rest are 5, 3, & 18 mos twins. When the twins were born, I had 4 children under 4! I feel for you! The newborn phase is the hardest, but I accepted help from friends and family. People would take the then 2 & 3 year olds out for a couple of hours and aside from being totally gross, I let a lot of my housework go. (People did come in to help). You will learn to relax on some things and find out what's really important is your children and how you respond to them. The spilled milk will get cleaned up, the laundry may only get done on a load a day basis for a little while, but having a happy attitude and happy, healthy children are your most important tasks!

You will realize what a blessing this child is. My #3 was conceived when #2 was 10 months and I was so scared. But she is such a blessing and they are close together and play so well it is truly exciting to watch.

Many blessings to you. Be encouraged, You will get through each day, try not to be overwhelmed with worry, but enjoy what you can! And who cares what other family or friends think? They all make their comments (Lord knows we've had plenty), but it isn't their family. I feel for people who truly cannot get over their own selfishness enough to see how much a blessing a big family is. Yes it is work, but oh, the joy in our house!

D.

A.,
We had three kids all under the age of 4.3. Our younger two were 18 months apart. I can say that I wish I had a better support system with friends I could have done things with. When my youngest was born, our middle one informed me that she no longer wanted to wear diapers at the age of 18 mos. I told her to wait until the new baby came, and a week after the baby was here, I walked past their bathroom, and who was on the toilet, but our 18 month old with her diaper on the floor. She had enough and was going to train herself. What a trip. She never wore diapers again after that day. It can be a blessing to have them so close in age, but it is hard when they are small. Escape when you can, and be sure to have nites out with your husband. We were not able to do either and our marriage has suffered for it. Our children are now 20,16.5,and almost 15. All very different personalities. Good Luck. Maybe you should tell him in a special way on fathers day?
W. M.

Hi A.,

Congratulations! My advise....if you're excited and positive about it, everyone else will be too! Life is too short to think about what other's think! It's fate that you got pregnant and your family IS blessed! Be positive, and be strong....3 under 3 is going to be challenging, but you'll figure it out...we all do!

S.

Hi,I know how you feel.My oldest 2 kids are 11 month apart and my 3rd child 2 1/2 yunger then them.I'm not going to tell you that it was easy, but I can tell you that all three of my kids are so close to each other.the bon they have is worth the strugles I had.Don't worry about what people say or think.The ones that count are going to be the ones that are there for you.to make things easy for you I think you should wean the 10th month old now, that way it gives you a break before your third child is born.

Hi, I am a mom of 4... ages 10, 13 and 14 1/2...23... grandma of 2... 20 months and 3 months... I had three in diapers at a time... nursing one while pregnant with the other...no problems.. lots of lap space. A;though at times.. it was a bit challenging.. I would not change it for the world! My oldest daughter is doing the same.. she used birth control tooo!!!! and guess what.. blessing came anyway! It is nature.

I want to encourage you because.. this time is soooo.. short in the scope of life.. Just keep remembering that the joy out weights the challenges long term and you are not alone in this endeavor.. God is with you... press in! Get with other moms in the 'moms groups' and find the churches near you who have respite care time.. this helped me immensely.

The kids are great friends and there is always someone to play with.. holidays are fun!! I am one of five and my husband is one of 9.. my father one of 12... so family is a big part of our lives... the young keep us young. We will be raising our 10 year old unto the 60's.. Getting through is a matter of attitude most of the time.. a few thoughts....

1. do not have unrealistic expectations of yourself.. a meal and a shower is a good day...

2. Say "Yes" to help.. and "NO" to committments that take from your peace and time during the first 2 years...

3.. Gather with moms.... to encourage each other.

4. Say "YES" to babysitters.... go out with your husband and have a 'girls' night/ day. Enjoy the movies by yourself on occassion!

5. Learn to drink calming teas...bubble baths... nuture yourself!

Enjoy bringing life into this world.. it is a gift and true proserity in this world.

Take care.. L. Medina