Egg Donation

I also looked into being an egg donor. I am just shy of the age requirements. I think all people should have the opportunity to become parents and if you are able and willing to do this than go ahead! It doesn't matter why you are doing it, just that you do it :o)
Best of luck...
J.

funny you should ask because i began the process to donate for a friend of ours just yesterday. years ago i considered doing it "for the money" as you say, but also acknowledging that i would be making someone's dream come true. at that time my weight was always above the range they were looking for- and frequently those people using an egg bank are very picky about body type since they are paying a whole lot. many women i my family have had trouble conceiving, and i have been blessed with ease in that area. yesterday my dh and i met with the other couple and their reproductive specialist and answered a billion questions and aired all our "dirt laundry." then i gave blood and urine samples for a variety of tests. when those come back we i will also need to see a genetic counselor and a psychologist before donating, if i am considered an acceptable candidate.

i am excited about the possibility of helping our friends out in this way. i think it will be great that i will know the child or children that may come of this decision. we agree to tell the child (or children, they will implant two embryos and twinning is always a possibility) when it is developmentally appropriate. i think the month of so of misery, and minimal health risk to me is more than worth it help my friends out.

so, i don't really have any advice for you, but i think you would be doing a wonderful thing for someone else. good luck with your decision!!

Hi R.,
I decided to respond since I was an egg donor many years ago, in my early 20's. Honestly, I was definitely motivated more by the financial aspect at first, but as I became more involved in the process, and realized the greatness of the gift I was giving to someone, it was no longer all about the money. I was very happy to be helping an infertile couple in that way. My parents & I did a lot of research into donating, and we did not find anything pertaining to a cancer risk that another poster mentioned! That may be just hearsay, but I'd definitely ask about all the risks involved before making your decision. There is also psychological counseling that I had to go through during the donation process, and just talking it out with the couselor helped me firm my decision to go ahead with it. It's been a long time, but my donation was anonymous (neither I nor the recipients of my eggs have any knowledge of each other). I have at times wondered if a child was ever conceived (I was told there was usually a 50% chance), and what he/she looked like. But not knowing for sure helps with that wondering. I have definitely NOT spent much time pining over those questions, and definitely do not feel like IF a child was conceived that the child is "mine" any more than genetically. As a mother of 2 little girls of my own, I realize that loviong & nurturing my girls is what makes me their Mom. Also, it is eggs (plural) that you'd be donating. The drugs they give you are to make your body produce a large amount of eggs in one cycle, so they can harvest them at once (the amount varies per woman, but mine was 12 eggs) and give the recipients the best chance at conceiving. Some of the eggs they harvest from you will be implanted, and some will probably be frozen, depending on how many they harvest and how many the couple decides to have implanted on one attempt.
I had a very positive experience with egg donation, and always felt I did a wonderful thing for someone. I sincerely hope that the couple that received my eggs did have a baby.

Hope this helps in making your decision! My best advice would be to look into it, go slowly, learn as much as you can...and your gut feelings will emerge. There is nothing to be ashamed of in being financially motivated - you'd still be giving the greatest gift, and compensation is for your time and inconveniece (there's daily shots you give yourself). By the way, I never missed a day of work except maybe the day they removed the eggs. If you have any further questions, feel free to ask me!

Hi R., I have a very close freind that donated eggs for financial reasons, and it has left her guessing since if they have spurred any children. It has been very h*** o* her emotionally. She only did it to get some extra money and did not think about the consequences. PLEASE consider other options if you are only doing this to get money.

Best of luck to you.

M.

R.,

I pretty much echo the previous comments-- I have not donated eggs, though I considered it when I was in grad school. The reason I didn't is that my husband asked me not to-- he said that he would be more comfortable if I did it after we finished our own family (just in case something went wrong). Of course, now I'm 32 and we just got started, so I don't think anyone would want my eggs now, LOL. I think the main question you have to ask your self is are you going to be searching the faces of people on the street 10, 20, 30 years from now looking for someone who looks like you and your kids? How do you feel about nature vs. nurture-- does DNA make a family or does the day-to-day interaction make a family? Different people feel differently about that, so you need to think about how you feel.

Don't feel guilty about the financial aspects of it-- it sounds like if a friend or family member needed donated eggs you would be willing to do it for free. The money is appropriate--- the physical hardships of the hormones and egg removal justifies some compensation. One word of caution though-- the big bucks tend to go to a very specific group of women (young, Ivy League college educated, clear genetic background, etc.) so it may or may not be as much money as you think, esp. if you have to take time off of work or get help at home because of the hormones/procedure.

Best of luck in making your decision!

Hello R.,
I have donated my eggs to my sister. She has a medical condition called Turner's Syndrome and it does not allow her body to produce estrogen. We knew this since we were kids and I had always told her I would donate my eggs for her if she ever wanted them. So a little over 4 years ago we went through the whole process. I had already given birth to my son (who was then 3) My husband and I were looking to have another child and we wanted to make sure that in doing this whole process it would not effect our plans. Talked to the Dr's and they said all I had to do was wait 6 months after the eggs were retrieved to insure that all the hormones were out of my system. I had a C-section with my first born and it was not a easy thing to deal with by any means. I asked the Dr's and nurses how much pain was involved with the whole process....they told me nothing compared to the C-section. So I was like count me in. ( I would have still done it if it was just as painful ) To make a long story longer...lol my ovaries were over stimulated. The normal person gives between 15-25 eggs I produced 45. They had to wait for all 45 to reach a certain size before they could extract them..I felt like I was gonna die. I thought cramps were bad...haha. The retrieval was longer to because they had to keep me under longer. The recovery for me was longer than I anticipated and a lot more painful. I have a pretty high tolerance for pain but this was tough for me. The end result in all of this.....a beautiful little girl Alexis. It was awesome. Through all the pain and discomfort...I would do it again in a heartbeat. The biggest gift you can ever give anyone. Oh yeah and by the way, 6 months to the day, I became pregnant with my baby girl Maggie. I don't see anything wrong with you wanting to do it for the money. It is worth all the money you get for it. I wish you luck if you decide to do it and you will make someone very happy for the rest of their lives.
Best of luck,
A.

I can't tell you how many times I have thought of doing that myself, but can't bring myself to do it. Only with me- it comes down to this---genetics, and knowing that biologically there is another child that is biologically,& genectically connected to me. It would almost be the same as giving my child up for adoption. So---I can understand your stand point cause the money sure does sound great and that fact that you would be helping another woman"mom" out, but when it gets to the nitty gritty, I don't think I could do it unless maybe it was a close family member. I have doubted myself.

Mom of 4.

Hi R.,

Don't feel bad about thinking of donating your eggs because of the financial benefits. You're helping another family out and helping your family at the same time. I thought of it when I was in my early 20s because I worked at Univ. of PA and saw all of the ads asking the ivy league female students to donate there eggs for $20K-$50K. I asked a colleague about it and she said you have to go on drugs that could be very dangerous so be very careful. She told me the drugs could cause cancer so think about that and then think of your children.
Sorry that's all the info I have. I would just urge you to do a lot of research!
Good luck!
K.

I have to say having a family member with infertility issues, go for it. You could really help someone alot. Whatever your motives are, in the end you are still helping someone who otherwise may never be able to have children. Just an opinion. Do what you feel is right. : )

I have considered it and even made some phone calls about it. Some places will only accept eggs from women under 30. I also have thought about being a surrogate too but that is an even bigger commitment and I don't know if I could handle that. Most of my reasons are financial as well, but having had some problems with fertility myself I know the gift that it is for infertile couples.
Jen

Dear R.,
I have not been an egg donor neither am I likely to be able to be one.I am someone who has struggled with infertility. Kudos to you for considering giving this wonderful gift to someone. Financial motive or not you will be doing something wonderful for someone you dont and may never know. How is that for a good deed for a lifetime. I think I say this on behalf of all couples who have and/or are facing infertility.
A.

I don't think it's fair to the child that would come out of it. I think that every child should know and live with their real parents. It is sad for all the people that are searching for their family and can't find them, or feel unwanted because their real parent or parents didn't want them.
Also, there are so many children that could use a home. I think people should adopt if they can't have their own. It's a bit selfish if they would go through all the trouble to make one with someone they hardly know.

I too have gone threw the thought of donating eggs just like u. For the same reasons and also to help other people. We all have to make a decciosn in our life for what ever the reason might be. This way you are making some monay for what ever reason and you are helping other couples out. I have already donated blood plasam for diaper money. These ways are safe and clean for the most part on making a little. There are worse ways to do. Please let me know if you do decide to do it. Would like to hear how it is.

I say go for it.. So many people out there would be so greatful for what you are doing.. Why not help someone out?? I have thought about it myself.. You are helping someone and they are helping you to.. It may not be much to you but it is the world to them..

N.

The cancer chance is based off the hormone injections. They are a little higher than hormonal birth control cancer chances, however these days apparently everything and it's mother can give you cancer. So it's completely up to you.

I have been thinking about this too and might go through with it. We are in a really hard place and have been for a while. I'm either going to be a donor or a surrogate. If you need anyone to talk to, feel free to msg me.

Take care and good luck. In the end, you (and your hubby) are the makers of this decision. You will live with it, but if you can feel that it is like donating blood, then go for it. If you are ultimately worried about knowing your to-be child, see if that can be written in the contract.

I personally think it is a great idea, but I am still saddened that people will not adopt children from this country because of the long arduous legal course needed to be taken. Why not love the children that are already here?

But my only concern is if you are alright with it.

The best to you in your decision!
~meg

Hi R.,

I agree that no matter what your motives are behind it, it would definitely be helping someone out that may not have that chance to have a baby otherwise.

I personally couldn't do it. I would always wonder whether my egg got produced into a baby and if so where that child is at, what that child is like, how do they take after me, etc.

I do applaud woman that can do it and not always wonder though, since it does help create families for others.

L.

I have thought about it before. I will agree that my motives were mostly monetary as well but in the end it came down to the fact that you will be helping a family who cannot conceive to do so. I think it is a very wise choice. Even if you do it for another reason. You are giving a family a child that they have always wanted.

No matter what your motivation for donation is, the eggs themselves are a welcome gift to a want-to-be mom. So I say if you have weighed all of your options and you want to do it - then do it! When/if you go into a fertility clinic and see the number of people there hoping and praying for babies then you likely wouldn't think twice about donating eggs.

I went through 3.5 Invitro fertilizations to try and conceive (using my own eggs) and just as the doctor was telling me about egg donation (since I was 38 & didn't produce a lot of eggs) I got pregnant. However, I was seriously thinking of using donated eggs. I was worried about the baby not "really" being mine but it didn't matter - because a mother does so much more than conceive a child. The recipient of your eggs will never know what your motivation was, they will just be soooo happy that you decided to share your gift of fertility.
My doc explained that sometimes finding a donor with the traits that you want can take some time and that disappointed us. So - I say the more donors the better! Everyone is happy

As for the medications, don't blink an eye - I went through the same process you would 3.5 times (the last time we couldn't implant-so it was counted as a 1/2 a cycle) and it is a bit time consuming but it is your motivation that gets you through it.

a little background first - my brother was married many years - had 2 beautiful kids - wasn't supposed to have the 2nd b/c of 1st being a difficult birth - thank God they had her - the oldest was a boy, diagnosed w/ crohn's - then my niece was diagnosed a few years later - by then they had my nephew's in remission - but that summer he was killed in a car accident - my brother was diagnosed crohn's - his wife, never sick a day in her life, got a rare form of cancer and died - my brother met a widow who longed to have children but her husband wouldn't get checked - though they were married for some time he died young - she had given up hope of another marriage and child until my brother - they met, fell in love - she's wonderful - she's the best step-mom I could ever ask for for my niece - she understands my brother's grief and my niece's - she put pictures of my sister-in-law in her house and made sure to store all of my 1st sister-in-law's things for my niece - she longed for a child and my brother always wanted more children - last August, thanks to a donor, they had a beautiful little boy - he is such a blessing to them and us! this is what you can do - it's wonderful and selfless - I know you said that your motivation is financial at the moment - but doing everything you will have to do - it really is selfless - and someone will really appreciate it! good luck and please let us know - and by the way, the donor for my nephew had 2 kids and had been a donor once before - they had hoped she would be a donor again for them but no go - we often wonder if she knows how thankful we all are - if she knows that her kindness resulted in a baby - b/c I think you would want to know that all of your effort and sacrifice did work for someone - that because of you someone was able to become parents and fulfill their dreams - I have worked for years as an adoption worker and can't begin to tell you of peoples' longings to be parents - please let us know what you decide and how it goes - good luck in your decision - and your finances!

Hi R., I looked into egg donation too. I consulted with a doctor and it is very involved. You need to be prepared for many visits to the clinic and hormone injections, tests ect. It is time consuming and there are side effects. You need to do some research from a trusted clinic. You can check it out by visiting this site, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Invitro_fertilization to find out more. just copy and paste the link into your browser.
You may want to find the clinic nearest to you if you are going to go through with it. Because if there is travel involved you may end up spending most of the money you get out of it on the travel expenses you incurr to actually follow through with the process.
I hope this helps, and I wish you all the luck and the donor family too if you decide to do it. There are many families who can't conceive and the gift of life is so precious, there is nothing in the world that is better.
M.

I thought about doing the same thing and some friends I know. But my husband thought it wasn't such a good idea since this baby someone else is having is a part of me, and what made me think was he was just saying , It would be a one in a hundred chance but what if that child grew up and meets one of our kids and they get married. Freak things happen. We would never know. But so many people donate eggs and it is helping others who cant have children. It was something to think about and then also kind of wierd to think about what my husband said and funny too I guess.

I think it is wonderful that you are thinking about doing this. I too want to do this. I just do not know where to look. I am having some difficulty getting preg with #2, but would still give eggs to someone who just wants a baby, and can not get preg. I am ok if I do not have a second baby, just the thought of helping someone else would be great. Let me know how everything works out. I want some info if you dont mind

As a mom of 2 who's having a hard time getting pregnant with the 3rd I think you should do it. I considered being a donor it myself years ago, but in the end I was worried about not knowing what happened to my eggs...My cousin has donated twice, she said the first time was for money yes, but like others it became a much bigger thing than she expected, she gave the gift of life, not once but twice. Who knows maybe even more. For me I couldn't not know, if anyone in my family needed my eggs I would have done it in a heart beat, but because I would have done it anonymously I couldn't do it. Not knowing is what made me not do it. BUT I encourage you to go ahead and do it, if your OK not knowing.
Good luck!