Ectopic Preg & Early Menopause

Updated on November 11, 2009
C.H. asks from Norfolk, VA
5 answers

Hi everyone, I was wondering if anyone had any good advice for me. I have been diagnosed with early menopause. I am 40 yrs old and have had two children at 36 and 37 yrs old. I was pregnant in Sep with # 3 and it resulted in an ectopic with emergency surgery (dr found it 2 days after it ruptured--longer story no one believed me there was something wrong..........) Now I have been having hot flashes and night sweats, no libido--new doc checked hormone levels and found that I am in full blown menopause. The surgery didn't touch my ovaries since we wanted to have one more child. The doc said this sometimes happens--though rare--when a tube is removed. They did check my thyroid and it's fine.
I am struggling with this since we did long for at least one more child.
Just need advice,

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answers from Washington DC on

The previous poster who said as long as you're still getting periods you can still get pregnant is absolutely right. It has also happened that women who hadn't gotten a period in a couple of months got pregnant too. So it's not a guarentee at this point that pregnancy is out.

However, this is also a great opportunity to look into other possiblities if you REALLY REALLY want another child. There are HALF A MILLION children in foster care in this country who would LOVE to have a loving family take them in.

Especially some of those who are considered "unadoptable" because so many "parents" don't want older children or children who might challenge their parenting skills and what they think they know.

But I'd suggest giving yourself PLENTY of time to come to terms with everything before making ANY decisions about more children. Maybe this is a sign that you have the family you were meant to have. Or it could be a sign that you've been chosen as a special parent for a special child in foster care or an orphanage.

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answers from Richmond on

hi C. - just wanted to let you know that there is a dire need for adoptive parents, both for international orphans and children here in the US as well. if you want to continue expanding your family, perhaps you can look into adoption or foster care (which can lead to adoption). there are millions of orphans in the world.



answers from Washington DC on

Enjoy the two boys that you have. Mourn the possibility of not being able to have more, but also find contentment with your current family size. In that contentment you will find peace.

- from a mom that has not been able to conceive or give birth...adopted, and content and enjoying our blessing.



answers from Washington DC on

Are you finished menopause, or are you still getting your period at this time? If you are still getting your period, you can still get pregnant. I would say continue to try.



answers from Dover on

Hi C.,

I agree with the other posters on both counts. Don't stop trying if that's what you really want and while enjoying the "trying" lol (remember not to stress, that can be a more effective "birthcontrol" than most meds!) if you truely have the room in your home and heart for another child, do the research on adoption. If that ever becomes an option for us a book I will read and highly recomend is by Dr. Ray Guarendi who is a clinical psychologist and Catholic speaker. He & his wife have adopted I believe it is 10 children. Here is info on the book:
Adoption: Choosing It, Living It, Loving It; Straight Answers to Hearfelt Questions by Ray Guarendi (Author)

He has great advise on many family subjects and a quirky sense of humor. Hopefully this could be of some help to you.

God bless and best of luck & wishes! And don't look at menapause as the end, but the begining of something else just as great!

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