Early Kindergarten?

To me, kindergarten isn't the issue - I'm planning on holding my youngest back because I don't want her to be 14 in a class with 16 year olds.

If you keep her back now, she'll never know the difference. Whereas if you send her now and possibly end up having her repeat kindergarten, all of the friends she'll have made will be leaving her behind.

We started my son at 4 with an aug birthday at the recommendation of his preschool. He passed all their little tests, was social, etc. Well, he struggled all year ( kindergarten is a lot of wrk now!) so we chose to have him repeat kinder, but with a different teacher in the all day program. To me older is better.

Let her go. In my opinion holding back is only good when kids aren't quite ready. If she's ahead later, great, she can test into advanced stuff or move ahead...worry about it then. Don't let her be bored for a year right out of the gate. I was way ahead in school in early grades but never moved up and by high school I hated school because I had always been bored so I ened up with bad grades and all that....put her where she will be challenged.

I DO think you have to look ahead. And here's why.

We moved from Illinois to Missouri when my daughter entered 6th grade (well, to be honest shortly after the year started). In Illinois she was a "young" student - typically the youngest in her class as she has an August birthday. So there were ALREADY kids that were a full year older than her.

In Missouri, she would have missed the cutoff. So, when they looked at her birthday the counselor said - "you mean 5th grade- not 6th". I said "nope - we're from IL she is currently in 6th grade". She sighed.

So - now she's in 7th grade and still 12. There are kids IN HER CLASS that were "held back a year" in Kindergarten THAT HAVE JUST TURNED 14!!!!!!!!! There are 8th grade boys that have BEEN 14 for months. That are considered potential "boyfriends" for my 12 year old. That are in her social circle.

So - if you start your kid early-ish.... well, you're looking to have conversations with her that are going to be on average 12-18 months AHEAD of her developmentally. She will watch PG-13 movies, potentially, when she's 11. Because ALL her friends are. OK, OK - just put your foot down. Tell her she can't be friends with "those" kids. I hope you're one of those moms who feels like a social life isn't important then (and there are many, so you may be one of them) because if you treat her like an 8 year old around her 10 year old friends, well then she's the baby. If you treat her like she's an 11 year old around her 13 year old friends she will lose her friends.

You may not think this is a big deal. And maybe it's not. I look at how important the friendships are and how important it is for these kids to be "the same"..... it's very important.

So - either way is fine. But don't send her "early" and then expect that there isn't a price to pay. She "loses" that year of childhood. She BECOMES a kindergarterner. and the difference between pre-K and K is NOT as big as the difference between 11 and 13 - when dating and hormones and movies and TV is involved.

If she's bored academically, then find ways to challenge her. Get her in the RIGHT academic setting. But do with kids that are her same developmental age. Which is puberty, boys, dating, friendships, sleepovers, driving etc. THAT'S the part that matters for her to be the "right" age. Don't make her have to deal with all that before she (or you) are ready.

I will also say - she doesn't get to go to kindergarten just because her brother went and so now she wants to go to. She can't drive when she's 15 just because her brother is driving. you don't drive until you're 16.... even if she COULD.... is that what's best for her????? No. Similarly, I wouldn't let her start kindergarten just because she wants to do what brother does. They are 2 different people. That's how life works. If you put her in situations before she's ready because she "wants" to be like brother THAT's what's not fair to her. Let her be a kid.

Just my $0.02.

I'm sure she'll be fine either way (based on what you've shared here) but you DO need to think ahead.
My daughter is the youngest among her peers, so she was exposed to all kinds of things sooner than I would have liked. When she was 15 many of her friends were 16 and some were even close to 17, especially the boys (because parents tend to hold boys back.) This is the only regret I have. She has done fine socially and in school but she has had to grow up even faster because of the age group that makes up her class.
It's a serious consideration. If I had to do it over I probably would have held her back.

Good God! Sounds like she is more than ready for Kindergarten. Why would you old her back. Why are you worrying about fifth grade now! Keep her in nursery school another year can create big problems for a child who needs more. You would keep her back to be the smartest. With the whole world keeping kids back, she won't be the smartest but she will be one of the "big" kids. Maybe your school would like you to keep her back, because this is a guaranteed tuition. Keeping a kid like her, seems so wrong on all levels. I hope you send her and let her grow.

Everyone talks about sending her early. You are not. This is the age kids start kindergarten!

I say go with YOUR gut. You know your child best...if she is truly ready socially, physically, academically and emotionally, she will do just fine...now and in the future. I am a kindergarten teacher (10 years)...the only time I suggest to wait is if they have a November birthday AND they are showing signs that they just aren't ready or will fit in. Good luck! Let her shine. ;)

I'm sort of with Mamazita: as the mother of a kindergartener, I've been very surprised with how much my son has learned at his young age. The other day, one of his buddies at school told him all about the 'f' word. Not so lovely.
Compound that with the stuff they begin to learn in the older grades, ugh.

I was the youngest in my class; I had an October birthday in a state which allowed enrollment for kids who turned 5 by the end of the year. I think I did 'okay' but in some ways it was really a mixed bag. There were certainly obvious differences in sophistication amongst the girls starting from around 5th grade; it was esp. in high school was when I felt it most. Being the 'baby' of the class has its drawbacks. You just aren't socially 'there' until you are there, I don't know how else to explain it. I graduated at 17 with a bunch of other 18 and 19 year olds. Kind of strange.

So, there are two sides. You could go for it, and just be prepared that she may need some support in the future. I can't say that being the youngest in school for my grade was the most traumatic thing that ever happened to me, but it's hard to escape that feeling of being the youngest. I'm sure you know your daughter best and will make the right choice for her, whatever you choose. :)

My son was born in November, so by Kinder he was the youngest in his class. However, he is a big kid and in terms of social and academics, he has always been at the top of his class. Even in 6th grade, he always gets all A s.. Also, in his current 6th grade class, there are about 5 kids total who are November babies and they are doing well.

You could always put your DD in Kinder and try it out. If it doesn't work out, then that's ok. Pull her out . Other people have done that. That is what we were going to do had Kinder not worked out for my son.. I think you have to follow your gut instinct..

good luck

Don't send her early. She has so many years of school ahead of her, and one year can really make a huge difference in maturity levels. It's easier and better to hold them back now than to watch them suffer socially later and with difficult grades and have to hold them back when they're older.

You won't regret keeping her in preschool another year. You may think she's ready socially and emotionally, but it's so much better to be cautious in this situation.

My oldest is an Oct baby. She started kinder at 4 years old. She is now a successful freshman in HS honor student with lots of activities, friends and a self assured attitude.

She will not necessarily be the smartest and brightest next year, she may get bored or be too mature socially by then. It really depends on the kid. In your circumstance I'd go with my gut.

My suggestion to you is one that many have done, do early at your next closest school (not your 'home' school) and then the repeat at the home school. Many districts will allow for this if you explain why. Here are the reasonings. 1. Two different teachers means two different lesson plans and learning styles. 2. Different classmates - when she repeats she will be with her intended class and move with them. I would also find out if your school district is following the "Common Core Standards" and I will also advise you that some are better than others at the execution and that they are high standards - a reapeat may not be a bad idea.

my now 13 year old DD has an early September bday and she was just shy of her 5th birthday when she started Kindergarten. She had been through 2 years of Preschool (2 mornings a week the first year then 3 mornings a week the second year). She was READY for kindergarten in every way.

Yes, I had some reservations - she seemed so much younger than a lot of her classmates. Big difference between 5 year olds and 6 year olds. I figured if there were a big problem, I could always pull her out. To top things off, she had a major ear problem that prevented her from hearing a lot of what was going on for the first few months of school. Once we had tubes put in her ears, she was reading within weeks. We've never looked back.

She's a happy 8th grader now in all honors classes. I'm so glad I sent her when she was ready. I've never regretted it. She has a cousin who was born the same month she was and he started K the following year. I think that was the right decision for him. You have to know your child and do your best to start them when they're ready. Being bored in school isn't a good thing either.

I hear that she is ready. So, you could send her. The real challenge comes when she turns 14... and older. She can be with classmates that are much older. I have sooo many friends that put their kids in at 4. They wish they had not because high school has been very tricky for these kids.

Both my kids are Fall born/late born.
They entered Kindergarten here, per the cut offs, and they entered Kinder at 4 then turned 5.
They were ready and also per their Preschool Teachers, academically and socially and emotionally.
They did fine.
They were NOT the "youngest" in their classes.
Here in my State, per public school, Kindergarten is 5 years old.

I am also late born, like your daughter, and graduated High School at 17. All along I did fine.

Holding back a child is now very common. It is a personal choice.
However, if your child were to enter elementary school at 6 years old, at least here in my State, they enter the child into 1st grade. But if the parent requests their child be put in Kinder, they will.
So also look into that.
OR, at some schools, they have a Pre-K, which is for, late born kids. But it is basically a Kindergarten curriculum. Still. But the class is made up of late born kids.

Or, what I also see some parents do is: they enter their late born child into Kindergarten... then hold them back and have them repeat Kindergarten. So that they are the "oldest" one at that point.

Being the oldest or the youngest child in class... does not guarantee anything nor result in the same thing, for all kids.

So, in my son's 1st grade class, there are 6 and 7 year olds.
Those that turned 6 while in 1st grade and those that turned 7 in 1st grade. The older ones are not necessarily the "best." Some are still immature and/or not great academically.
Then, in my daughter's grade level, 5th grade, it is comprised of 10 and 11 year olds. However, there is ONE student, who is 12, years old. And the kids ALL know... that this kid is the "oldest" one in 5th grade. And they all find it a bit odd. He's also now, a big kid. Being he is 12.

If she makes the cutoff date, send her to kindergarten. She is ready and the cutoff exists for a reason - children who make the cutoff are considered ready for kinder.

I am not a proponent of holding kids back unless there are MAJOR red flags. Your daughter, on the contrary, is completely ready to go. If her birthday falls before the cutoff date, you'd be doing her a disservice by holding her back.

I would send her if she is overall ready and meets the bday requirement for your state.. she has all summer to grow learn and mature.

It is very obvious in kinder the writing and coloring that is done by the youngest kids.. they are just young for grade.. but by 3rd grade it balances out..

however.. if in kinder she is not doing well absolutely have her repeat the grade.. better to repeat now.. than later.

My husband and I were just talking about this last night. Our daughter is 5 and will be starting K in the fall. We had decided not to spend the money to test her and sent her to pre-k this year. The k teacher and principal have mentioned several times that they could test her out of k and into 1 because she has been at the school 2 - 3 times a week for the past three years (I volunteer in the k classroom and she comes with). My husband and I are both sure she would probably do fine in a first grade class, but what happens when she is older and a year or two younger than the rest of her classmates? The good thing is that in first grade the start testing them for placement in a challenge program at a different school in the district. We did both agree that if she did test into that program we would allow her to switch schools (We had previously had the discussion about our oldest and said we didn't want him to go if he tested in because we didn't want him and his brother who is only a year behind at separate schools- but he didn't test in so it didn't matter anyway. The boys are several years older than her so they would only be at the same school for two years anyway.) The challenge program would be a good fit because she would get to work more at her level yet be with other classmates her own age.

Does your school district have a cut off date for the age? Will she be 5 in late September?

Around here, the cutoff date is Sept 1 and you are 5 when you start K unless you've been held back for some reason.

If she seems ready as far as testing, maturity, etc, I would let her go to K. Keep in mind that children usually even out by the 2nd grade academically. You might excel in K and have issues in 1st grade and then excel in 2nd grade. It is a mixed bag as far as the children go and in my 12+ yrs of teaching the younger grade levels, I've never seen one student who stands out the entire time. They all bloom at different levels.

This was not an issue for us since our daughter's bday was in late Dec. She was over 5 and 1/2 when she started K and she is one of the older ones in the class. I've not really noticed any major issues with the age of students in her classes through the years. Several boys are older due to being held back for academic, maturity and red shirt reasons.

Girls are girls and there will be drama where girls are. Just make sure you are there to COMMUNICATE with your daughter and get her through the drama that does and will occur. Our daughter has grown a lot from the drama... mainly learning how to deal and get along with girls who are jealous, angry, spiteful because she has been an outstanding Cheer Captain through the adversity they have created and maintained her Honor and AP status with a GPA over 4.0.

She graduates on June 12 and there are 1113 Seniors in her class. We're in for a LONG ceremony and our Seniors have the smallest class of the 3 senior high schools in town!

Enjoy the ride.... it flies by

We sent my son, who has a November birthday to kindergarten early. He was four, but was so clearly ready. He taught himself to read at three, and was socially in great shape, so we had him tested and got approval to send him early.

He has done great, he is thriving academically, has made friends, and enjoys school. I know most parents will tell you that waiting is always best,but I disagree. A bright kid who is ready is not well-served by waiting to meet an age minimum. I would never consider waiting just so my kid is the smartest next year. Being in a class of slightly older and maybe brighter kids is a good thing, the same way that playing tennis, for example, against someone slightly better than you can help you to improve.

I also saw my younger sister skip third grade, which meant she was the youngest in her class. It was a good thing. She would have been incredibly bored if the decision had been made based on age alone and she had been left with kids her age.

I am not suggesting that early K is right for every kid, I just think we are doing some kids a disservice by suggesting that everyone should wait or that being older is always better.

I would find out how her class will be distributed. Will she be by far the youngest or plenty of other kids her age will be there. Sure, redshirted kids too but is that a big majority or a fairly small percentage. I was surprised at our school how many kids are not redshirted with fall bdays. So if they all continue on, they will not be 14 in a class of 16 year olds. I think it can vary by area or district.

If she is ready, the testing went well, school allowing her to start...I would send her. If you are on the fence, consider sending her to a different Pre-K program than she already attended/completed. My daughter was ready but because of a Dec birthday they wouldn't let her start early. The preschool teachers and director said they'd love to have her again but she would be too board to repeat their program. We sent her to a private catholic school that had Pre-K (we're not catholic but we are christian and we checked out other options and liked this one best). So she went to a new school (with a few kids from her old preschool who were in the same boat), road the bus back to the preschool for aftercare. It made her adjustment easy. She had a great teacher and classmates. While they reinforced what she already knew, it also gave a different experience so she was bored. She's in K now and still thriving.

If she's ready socially and emotionally, then I'd say it'd be okay. I will say, though, that my sister was the youngest in her class and had a lot of trouble in the teen years when her friends were more mature physically and emotionally and were driving and staying out later than she was allowed to. Not enough reason to keep her back, I suppose, but it made an impact on her - she still mentions it in her late 40s.

She needs to be with kids her own age, if the rules in your area say she needs to be 5 before the time school starts then you need to wait. There's no good to come out of rushing her and putting her with kids a year older who were 5 or nearly 6 by the time they started kindergarten.

I think that if she's really really ready and the cut of date is after her birthday then you need to send her. Our cut off date is the first day of school. If they are not 5 by then they don't go. My friend's cut off date in California is something like December 1st so her 4 year old started kindergarten at 4. Her birthday is in October. She would not have been in kindergarten until the next year if she had lived here in Oklahoma.

She said she was fine with that because she has a late September birthday and she started kindergarten at 4 too and did fine.

I don't see any use for doing differently that what the rules say. IF they cut off date is before her birthday she doesn't go she stays with the kids her age and goes to Pre-K. If the cut off date is after her birthday then she needs to be with the kids her age and go with her peers to kindergarten.

What you might consider is a different PreK. I know families who are doing both - going forward and keeping back. Most of the ones going forward have girls. DD will be a young 5 and is going to K. I would take a long hard look at her socially and emotionally and decide where she is. I've done a lot of contemplation about my August baby and it wasn't til her preschool teachers said, "Work on these two things and she'll be fine" that I was OK with sending her forward. A friend whose son is also an August baby is holding him for another year. I think that is exactly what she needs to do for him.

IMO, it's not academics. It's maturity.