Early Bedtimes... I Feel like We Are Missing Out.

I feel that way too. We're the early to bed family, and most of my friends' kids are much later. However, I know it won't last forever, and we manage to stay up occasionally for parties and special things. A lot of time, though, I don't accept invites for later because I have to deal with my crabby kids the next day. My kids never wake up after 6 ("sleeping in" is anytime after 5:30) no matter how late they stay up. We've tried for many nights to change to later bed, later wake, but it just ends up with less sleep and exhausted (and trying) kids. Next summer might be different, but if not, I know it'll change sometime, and for now, I've just decided to enjoy my free evening relaxing time!

I have two and they also are in bed every night by 7:30pm and they usually wake up around 7am. We hear the neighbor kids every night & I see families just heading out for walks at 8:30 sometimes! I sometimes go grocery shopping once my kids go down (hubby is home) and I can't believe all the kids still at the stores at 8 or 9pm! I also have friends that are putting their kids to bed "when they're tired"!!
As much as I know my kids would love to stay up with the others, I KNOW that they need that sleep and it works for us...and you too. I think we are both smart & lucky for that!

I always put my eldest (now six, starting first grade) to bed early, even in the summer. Then I remembered how much I hated that as a child...it's light out, there are children playing outside my window, and I'm in bed. It seemed cruel. So this summer, for the first time, I let her stay up until 9 or 10, depending on what had to be done the next day.

It was worth it. We have a 15 month old, so during the day I don't get a lot of time with my older daughter. It was perfect...her and I got to play games, read, etc...by ourselves.

We have switched back to our school schedule, now...in bed by eight.

Be flexible with your summer hours...I wish I had been earlier than this summer! :)

J.,
I am jealous of you... here it is just before 9 & my daughter is "doing" my hair & my son is coloring and giggling. I would like several hours at night to myself.

My kids have always gone to bed later, between 8 & 9. During summer & on weekends, they will sleep until 8 or 8:30. They are not nappers.

I don't have any profound thoughts as to why this is though.

My kids get up between 6 and 630 AM every day, no matter what time we put them to bed. We have tried every time between 7P and 930P and they still are awake at the same time. But with the later bedtime, they get less sleep and are very grumpy. So my thinking is if they are going to get up at the same time regardless of the time they go to bed, they might as well go earlier, get enough sleep, and give my hubby and me some time to ourselves. People look at us like we are crazy. There have been times when there have been late events, like our camp performance, and they have made it through just fine, adreneline kicks in, and they might sleep until 7A the next morning. My SIL's child goes to bed around 9P, but he doesn't wake up until 830-9A in the morning. Some internal clocks just cannot be changed.

My kids are older but they have always slept 10-12 hours. They all start getting in the shower at about 7:15 and all are in their rooms at 8pm. They don't necessarily have to go right to sleep but they do have to STAY in there. They have always been good about going to sleep when they are tired and are usually asleep by 8:30 or 9. But they are early risers and are up between 6-7am. They are older now and can get some milk and cereal so its all good. I like to keep their schedule the same year round because when school starts its hard to get them to go to bed earlier once they start staying up later in summer. I know they will want to start staying up later eventually but being tweens they are good with the schedule now. And I have to say I'm lucky my time with hubby starts pretty early too so we can watch our shows or whatever we want to do with no interruptions. All kids are different. I wouldn't worry so much about what they are missing since they don't know. =)

Wow our schedule is so much like yours with the same age kids ...I happen to love it! My neighbor (just one example) kids same ages roughly they go down around 9-10 at night and get up around 7-730 in the morning. They need more but they don't get and everyday around 5pm they are cranky and rough to be around. She hates it but doesn't know what to do cause that is how their schedule is. For my hubby and I the quiet time at night for a few hours without the kids is what keeps up sane!!! Enjoy it :)

I think some of it is the kid. My DD has always trended toward a later night. So have her brother and sister. She doesn't nap anymore. She tends to wake by 8-8:30.

If your kids need the sleep, go to bed early and wake up well, then you're doing what's right for them, and ultimately for all of you. The flip side is I bet on vacation you don't need to drag everyone out of bed. I hated being on the road at 12 because I couldn't get people going before 10. I was wishing for your kind of kids then. (The big kids are teens/young adult, so that factors, too. I would have loved even 9AM wakings, though.)

I'm serious when I say this. Cherish the early bed times now. It won't last forever. Within a year or two at least one of your children will start testing the limits on how late they can stay up and you'll be wishing for these early bed times. As your kids get older they'll need less sleep and they'll want to prove what big kids they are by staying up as late as they can and push the limits.

Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.

Some people are morning people. Some people are night owls. There are some innate circadian rhythms that are going to defy any kind of training or planning or deliberate adjustments. I am a night owl - yet I once had a job where I had to be at work at 6 am. I made it every day, but every day, right about 10 am, something clicked in my body, and THEN I was really awake, really ready to be functioning and out in the world. Didn't have anything to do with being unrested (I made sure I was rested.) I have some friends who have kids who wake up every morning at 6 am. Bright-eyed and busy tailed and ready for the day. My friends tried everything in the books to try to adjust them a little bit one way or the other, and eventually just decided to be grateful they have kids who sleep well.

When you're a night owl, it can sometimes feel like the whole world is geared towards morning people. And when you are a (or are the parent of) morning people, it can sometimes feel like the world is geared for night owls.

As your kids get older (the 6 year old is surely on the cusp of this) they will get a little more flexible (mostly because they won't completely lose their minds when they get overtired.) For now, be grateful for the evening hours that you have to yourself - those of us with night owls for children (me!) are really, really jealous of you.

my kids are 4 and 5.. they need at least 11 hours of sleep.. they gave up naps (mostly) this summer.. they normally go to bed at 8 and get up at 7.. but today my son was up at 6 and he was awful all morning.. so he went downt for a nap..

I dont reallly hafe a suggestion.. but I do give my kids a nap if we want to do something later in the day.. or if we have a super busy morning.. they will nap and then bedtimes moves 1-2 hours later..

So f you want to stay up and play later int eh day.. give them a nap.. or at least eh youngest..

When we only had one, she went to bed around 11pm and got up around 10 am. She's a night owl:-) Now they go to bed at the same time as yours and get up similar time. We didn't really teach her to go to bed at that time (our first), she just stayed up with us and went to bed with us. If you want to try for later, just keep them up later. For a while they'll probably still get up early, but they'll eventually adjust to a later schedule.

Have you tried giving the kids naps, maybe at least the 2 year old? You right, summer is short here in MN. We have a 2, 5, and 8 year old. We put our 2 year old to bed at about 8 (he gets a 2-3 hr. nap in the day) and we let our 5 and 8 year old stay up with us outside until 9 or even later if we feel like it. We have a bon fire almost 5-6 times a week and the kids love to run around in the backyard with their flashlights and glow necklaces. We are good friends with our neighbors and they are outside a lot during the day, but go in for bed at 7:30. Seems odd to me, but if that's what works for them, then so be it. Some of my best memories of being a kid are those long summer nights roasting marshmallows and just talking around the fire. Your kids are still young, so you have plenty of summers to make memories and enjoy the evenings:)

This was the first summer we let our kids stay up later, mostly because my husband doesn't get home until 7 pm. Bedtime is usually around 9:30 and they wake up between 7 and 9 am. Yes, I get less adult time in the evening but it's only during summer vacation and they get a little more time with their dad, which is way more important to me. I think my adult time just moved to the morning - sometimes I even get to lay in bed with a book and a cup of coffee!

I'm actually jealous of your situation!! I wish I could have my 3 yo son in bed by 8, but this summer we are lucky if it's by 9pm. He typically wakes up around 7 and most days he naps around 130-330. However more recently he is starting to boycott naps, which I wouldn't mind if it meant he would go to bed earlier but that is not the case. It has been nice to have more time with him throughout the day, but I'm missing out on 'me' time and time with my husband bc my son stays up too late! Good luck to you.

So many have already offered their two cents, and it seems to be similiar advice to what I would give. Just wanted to re-affirm that you're doing a great job for what your kids need. If they can handle a night or two in the summer to stay up late and watch an outdoor movie or have a bonfire, then have them do it. If not, there will be plenty of time to do this when they're a little older and are able to stay up later. Enjoy that wonderful routine you've got. :)

I can remember going to bed at 8pm when I was a child. The neighborhood kids would congregate outside the windows and make fun of me. They didn't have to go in until dark. It was a couple of hours until dark when I went to bed. They finally let me start staying up later and then in Jr. High I had a 10pm bedtime.

I think you are missing out. Normally kids get 9-10 hours of sleep at night at most, the rest of their sleep requirement comes from naps during the day. I think your kids are going to start missing out socially too. When they want to do sports many of their games are going to be at 6 or 7:15 pm. They will have practices too, those are going to be after dinner hours sometimes. I think as your kids get older you will start seeing them struggle with this schedule.

Hi J., my kids have always gone to sleep by 8. Sometimes 8:30. And they wake up between 7 and 8. And they nap alot of days too! They really seem to need the sleep, they're active kids. The girls are 4 and 5. This summer for the first time we started letting them have "party nights" where we'd hang out on our deck with neighbors and friends and all the kids would play till 9 or 10 pm. We told them as long as they slept in the next morning, we'd let them do this once in a while. They did!! They never used to, so we were always strict on bedtime. All of our friends go to bed later than us. So what, we are flexible when we need or want to be and we get our evenings to ourselves. To watch tv or read or go onto mamapedia or do errands! With my oldest going into kindergarten she has to be on the bus by 8, so we're going to tighten up and get them to bed by 7:30. I'd say let them stay up late when you want to and have them nap the next day. They'll be tired enough...

My family is in the same boat as you, only my kids get to bed a little later than yours. My kids (ages 5 and 6) normally go to bed at 8:00. This summer they have been getting to bed at 8:30. One time my daughter got out of bed at 8:45 and noticed all the neighbor kids were still outside. Some of these kids are younger than her. I've always wondered how parents manage their kids during the day when they stay up so late. Recently I found out these kids are sleeping past 9:00 in the morning! That may not be a bad thing for the summer but I sure wouldn't want to be there when they have to get up for school next week!
Also, you are lucky your kids sleep 12 hours! One of mine sleeps 10 hours and it is obvious he needs more! My other one sleeps 11, sometimes 12 and she is usually in a much better mood!

My guess is either your kids simply need more sleep or they've been trained to sleep more. From day 1, my babies were trained to stay up late and sleep in late b/c I'm a dance teacher and my husband would keep them up so I could nurse them at 9:30pm when I got home from work. My kids are now 8,6, and 4. During school they go to bed at 9 and get up at 7:30. In the summer they go to bed at 10 and sleep until 9:30-10:00. They all gave up napping around age 2 and half. We are in the same boat with my husband getting home around 6:30, so we reallly cherish our evening hours together. Maybe you could just try keeping your older two kids up slightly later and see if they can handle it? Also, my daughter was adopted from an orphanage at age 1. They would put her to bed at 5:30pm and she would sleep until 6:30am and take 2 naps. She did not need this much sleep, but was trained to sleep this much and her body just adapted to it. But, when we brought her home she easily transitioned to our new schedule.

My younger kids have always gone to bed at 9 (which often means that they don't fall asleep until 9:30 or even 10 during the summer or on a weekend) and they pop out of bed by 7 at the latest on their own most days. They don't nap, but they are 7 and 5.

For me, it would be worth it to get at least the younger ones to nap so that you can have that time in the evening. My husband and/or I often don't get home until after 6:30 so if our kids went to be at 7 or 7:30 (like "normal" kids LOL) then we'd never see them, so a later bedtime has always worked well for us. We do a lot after dinner (during the summer we swim, bike, go to the playground, watch movies, have a bonfire and during the winter, there are sports, school events, etc.) and would literally have no life if they went to bed early.

It varies from kid to kid. Most kids need around 12 hours total. We've always put our kids to bed at 7, and they usually get up around 7 as well. When my daughter was younger (and gave up naps around 1yo--eek!) she would sometimes sleep 14 hours at night and was still grumpy by dinnertime. We have a neighbor whose daughter gets put to bed at 9 (she's 3), doesn't usually fall asleep until 11ish and is still up at 6 and delightful all the time. My pediatrician told me that he used to get put to bed at 9, would say goodnight to his parents when they walked by his room at 11-12, and he was still up at 4 or 5. Yikes!! We just went to a ball game the other night and didn't get home until 9 and my kids were completely off the next day (especially my 16month old son). Some kids are better at adapting to once in a while late nights than others. Your kids seem old enough that I think every once in a while isn't bad. But you'll be sitting pretty for when school starts up in a couple weeks!

Ah, the grass is always greener... my daughter has always been a late sleeper/late riser. I would love to scale back her bedtime an hour/hour and half, even though it IS nice to have family time. I don't get any me time, my husband and I get very little or no "us" time unless we hire a baby sitter. And I CONSTANTLY feel guilty that she's not getting enough sleep, even though she can lay in bed for an hour or more without dozing off!

If they need the sleep, let them sleep. Especially since summer is almsot over, and you'll need them to go to sleep early to get up for school soon enough.

My son (27 months) has a later bedtime then most. He wouldn't hardly see his father, otherwise. And, we would have no family time together. He wakes around 9:00, and usually falls asleep between 9:00-9:30. We don't hesitate to keep him up a bit later, if we have a family night planned. I am a SAHM, so that is doable for us. My son is also very flexible, and tweaking his schedule by an hour or so, does not affect his sleep in any way. He sleeps 11-12 hours, no matter what time he goes down. He had dropped his nap, but this week seems like he really wants one. I think he is just more active now, and his body craves it. I've been putting him down for an hour and half nap lately. We will also be homeschooling, so a later wake time won't affect our day.

I personally love his later bedtime. We play little games, do crafts, watch movies. Those things we would not have time for, if his bedtime was earlier. He will only want this family time for so long, ya know?