Early Bedtime for a Almost 3 Yr Old

I had a similar situation for my almost 3 year old as he was a late sleeper (10 to 11p) - still is often on weekends - but had to start getting him up for preschool by 9a and thus also to sleep earlier. A week before we started gradually making his bedtime earlier. When school started I would wake him up in the am, giving myself a good extra 15 min to coax him to get up and out of bed. He's so not a morning person like me! Then as others have said, since he was up earlier he's tired earlier and I can put him to bed around 8:30. Also, on days when I need to fix his schedule again (like on Mon if he went to bed late Sun night), I'll have him go without a nap and he's passing out between 7 and 7:30p which is actually really nice for me and my husband. We're debating doing that more regularly! But some days it's h*** o* him and us if he gets really cranky by 5:30 but you have to keep him up and just get thru dinner, bath, etc. Best of luck and congrats on the promotion!

Just do the same routine and start earlier. She has no concept of time. I just changed my 4 and 2 year old to 7:30 from 8:30....they don't have a clue. Once you start waking her in the morning she will want to go down earlier. Good Luck!

Hi S., I think if you start waking her earlier she will go to bed earlier. It may be difficult for a few days but it will straighten itself out. Try to keep the same routine when you get home (which will be earlier) children like routines. They know what to expect. Congrats on your promotion! Best wishes, Grandma Mary

Congratulations on your new position. I consulted a positive parenting child behaviorist. She has given me wonderful advice.

For bedtime, routine is a must. Take pictures of your daughter doing the various things to get ready for bed ie going potty, brushing teeth, putting PJ's on, reading a book and laying in bed. Put these photos in sequential order in a photo album. Same drill for morning routine. Go over this with her as a form of story telling about the routine. This helps set expectations. You can introduce a timer for yourself. She'll see that you are getting reminders of what to do next. After a while, you can set the timer for her to go get her coat on to leave for example.

As for reorienting her bed time schedule, I think you can consider cutting her nap short or have her skip a nap and try getting her to bed earlier. If that doesn't work, she'll be tired from having been woken earlier (tell her in advance) and as a result will be tired earlier. She may need a few days to adjust. Be extra patient as she will be cranky.

Best of luck!

Hi S.,
Why is she crying? My kids never, ever cried at bedtime. Changing her bedtime shouldn't be a cause for crying, nor should it lead to her waking up in the middle of the night screaming. That sounds more like nightmares or night terrors. A bath and being put to bed shouldn't take close to 2 hours. I say simplify the bedtime routine and don't stay with her a long time. Be matter of fact about it, after the bath, it's two stories or 20 minutes of reading and then bedtime is over, the end.
Good luck.

I tend to think you need to hire someone to work in your home just caring for your children so that they can be on a routine that is more suited for their needs.
Although I don't know all the facts here, and I do think it's great that you are doing well out in the work world, your post has me thinking you need to start thinking deeper about what is best for the children instead of scooting them off here and there to fit them into the routine of your job. Children need the stibility of home and family unity and routines that fit with their age level. I tend to think having a Nanny in your home would give them this plus help you deal with any stress that you might be having over dealing with it all on your own. Therefore when you do spend time with your children, it's quality time spent with them.
In the meantime, stay supportive of your child while making the adjustment that is needed. It's going to take time and patience....remember children that age do not understand what is really going on and they pick up on the stress and attitudes in which things are handled and re-act to it all. Most children need down time before going to bed...so make sure nothing too exciting is going on when it gets close to bed time. Get the child ready and into bed at the hour needed...read the child a story, dim the lights..talk softly. If the child fusses or wakes up, comfort the child back to sleep.

We helped that same scenario by having the sitter have our daughter fed, bathed and in pj's by the time we got home. Then it was just a book and to sleep. It's a good way to transition her into having someone else put her to sleep, if you let the bedtime rituals be taken over one at a time by the caregiver.

Good luck

Dear S.,

I would start immediately each night maybe half an hour earlier bedtime and then wake her maybe a little earlier each morning until you get her adjusted. She is going to be cranky I am sure the first week or so, however i am sure she will adjust. I don't think you can just put her to bed two hours earlier and expect her just go to sleep. If you did that I would guess she may think its a nap and wake a short time later. Its not fair to let her cry it out(even though I am a firm believer) because she did not put herself on this schedule it was right for that time. I think her internal clock is going to have to be changed little by little each day. Good luck

Do it gradually. Move her bedtime early every night, or every other night, forward by 30 mins. Or if that is to much at one time do 15 mins. Start her routine 30 mins earlier every night. But keep the routine the same. Bath, book, bed (or whatever you do). If you do it that way, she may not even notice the difference.

I think it's unfair to keep a child that young awake so late at night so you can see her. Yes, your daughter needs to see you, but she also needs her sleep so she can learn and have productive days. So either you or your husband have to change your hours or get a babysitter to put your daughter to bed early, even if you don't get the promotion. If you can't change them, I would think seriously about finding a new job with better hours.
Get the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weisbluth for advice on how to get her to sleep earlier. He has studies in the book on the effects of sleep deprivation in young children and it is scary. There are long-term effects. It can interfere with learning and keeps them in a constant state of overtiredness. It can lead to a lower IQ because the kids are not rested and can't concentrate enough to learn new things. I would imagine that she is probably starting preschool soon so this is a real concern.
I would start by having the babysitter get your daughter ready for bed so that she can go right to sleep when you get home. Bring her pajamas and toothbrush, blanket, etc and have the babysitter bathe her and have her ready for bed. Then after a few days of this, you can have her actually start going to sleep at the babysitter's house. Gradually over a few weeks, bring her bedtime to somewhere between 7 and 8:30. This will depend on how tired she is and whether or not she takes a nap during the day. She should be getting a total of 10-12 hours of sleep a night.

You have two great advantages right now. Daylight Savings time will be ending soon, so the clock will say 9:30, but your daughter will still feel like it's 10:30. I think that happens the first week in November. Second, your daughter likely still takes naps. On the day you want to start her going to bed earlier, keep her up with no nap, she'll be ready for bed much earlier. If you're not comfortable removing the nap entirely, how about waking her from the nap after it's just half of her regular length? Adjust her daytime sleep, and the bedtime can be earlier. Be sure to wake her the next morning, too. The new sleep pattern should be no problem. Good luck!

I think the only way is to do it gradually. When I did it with my kids (admittedly at around 3 months old so a lot younger!) when I wanted them to go to bed early so I could have an evening of grown-up time, I just did it by bringing the bedtime earlier by half an hour at a time until it was where I wanted it to be. Also I think kids do better when they get to bed nice and early - they seem so much happier in the daytime! You can't make a huge change overnight. I worried that they would wake up far too early in the morning but it didn't happen. Now my 3 year old is asleep by around 7 every night and gets up around 7.30 in the morning. You know you've got it right when they wake up in the morning without a lot of fuss and plenty of energy!

Does she take naps? before you start your new week, wake her up early, and no naps during the day. she should start going to bed early. I have 3 yr old twins and I have to keep them up or they will be up all night till 11 or 12. iT WILL TAKE A COUPLE days for her to get used to it. But she will. Make sure the sitter tries to keep her up all day too. The no nap thing makes a BIG difference. Mine still wake up in the middle of the nite sometimes, but it is well worth it.

good luck

S., my first child was going to bed real late at night in the beginning and when I got pregnant with my second, I wanted to get him in bed earlier because I was going to be getting up with the second one when he came along. So, I gradually moved the time back. So, if she is going to bed about 10:30p, move it back to 10p and keep gradually moving back and that way it won't be just a sudden move because she's not going to understand that drastic move. I have taught my oldest son to go back when he came to my room, so I had to get up and walk him back to his room and give him a kiss and a hug and tuck him in and tell I love him but he needs to sleep an I'll see him when he wakes up in the morning and the sun will be up then. Then little by little doing that and gradually told him that he needs to go back to bed because it's still night time and that I love him and gave him a kiss and a hug and he went back to his room and went back to sleep. It was hard, but it had to happen sooner or later when I was having the second child coming. It worked out great. I did the same with my scond child and now it works with him only right now I walk him back to his room. I always have them go potty before going back to bed becaue both of them are potty trained around 2 1/2 years old.
Let us know how it goes and I'll pray for Jesus's Wisdom if you ask Him....

You will find if you wake her up earlier, she will soon be ready for night time earlier. She wont want to get up early, but it will be easier to transition her if you dont push the night bedtime for about a week, so her body adjusts to the early waking.

My daughter is about the same age and what has helped make her sleepy enough to go to bed earlier, is to limit her nap to 1.5 hours and not past 3pm. It's still a challenge but at least I can keep her bedtime around 9-9:30.
Good luck!
M.

Try moving her bedtime back 15 minutes at a time until you get to the desired bedtime. It might not be that hard since her current bedtime is late, hopefully she will be tired earlier and it will be easy for you. So the first night move it back 15min. and do this for maybe 2 or 3 nights. Then move it back 15 more for a few more nights and continue this pattern until the desired bedtime. Good luck and congrats on your promotion.

I like that advice for a gradual approach. I also think that you will be surprised at how tired she is in the evening, due to getting up so much earlier in the morning. You're in for a tough couple of weeks, with some serious whining and crankiness. But she'll settle into the new routine faster than you expect!

You probably will have to let her cry some. I know that's so awful, especially with a strong 3 year old pair of lungs. This will really help her get ready for school, though!

Good luck, and congratulations on the promotion!

It may take a couple of weeks for the new time to really become "routine", but she'll adjust. Just make sure you adjust her morning routine as well. Don't let her sleep in on the weekend either. Get up, have breakfast and get out in the sun (even if YOU are longing for that extra time in bed). Ultimately this will help when she starts school. Best wishes for your promotion!

Hi S.,

This has always been a situation for me b/c being a teacher my hours are sooo different during the summer. What I always did was start a week before school and just shift thier sleep times by 15 minutes. Before you knew it their sleep time would shift about an hour or hour and a half. It will take about 2 weeks to get into the routine I wanted. Also, if your daughter is 3, did you consider taking away the nap? My 3 year old started pre school this past Sept. and her class is in the afternoon, at the same time she used to take her nap. She does not nap now but is in bed and asleep by 7:00pm. Old bedtime was 8:30-10:30 depending on if it was summer or not. Summer time she went to bed at 10:30. Anyway she is a little witch during the dinner hours b/c her body is still adjusting and she is TIred but right after dinner she has a bath, plays a bit and is off to bed. You have to see if this routine with compliment your new hours. But I would try to gently shift her bedtime and possibly take away the nap. Good Luck and Congrats on the promotion.