Dying My Hair Red

Updated on December 20, 2011
K.P. asks from Utica, MI
20 answers

Is it inappropriate for a sahm to dye her hair red.. like serious bright red. I am a secret-alternative mom with tattoos that can be hidden, along with piercings. I work from home, but I am a young mom and feel like I am critiqued to no-end already, at pta meetings, girl scouts, and wrestling meets, etc. I am in love with Kat Von Dee and love her style, (within reason). Is it trashy to color my hair out of the ordinary? I hate to say it, but I don't like being judged. But I am so sick of my dark brown hair..yawnn....

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So What Happened?

Thanks for the support mumas!! @Christine~ what did you use to dye it red? I found alot of great products.

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answers from Dallas on

No way, I think you should do what makes you happy!

Get some shampoo specifically for red hair. I used to dye my hair red, and it does fade pretty quickly.


answers from Milwaukee on

Red is an PITA to keep bright. Grrrrrr.

Most color seems to wash out within days after doing it. I say go for it but be prepared for a LOT of re-dying.

I got tired of it after a few years and went black instead.

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answers from Austin on

You be the mom you are. Tattoos, piercing, died hair, artful clothing..

I was PTA President at our daughters schools and let me tell you, we were in a VERY conservative area of town (Austin is not very conservative) but we had all sorts of moms and dads and no one batted an eye..

As long as the parent was a good parent with their children they were embraced. I loved watching the sweater and pearl moms with the tattooed moms working as co chairs for different events and projects..

Some of the most intelligent and talented parents were the more forward thinking parents at the school.. Many owned very successful businesses. They were generous with their time and their money.

7 moms found this helpful


answers from Seattle on

You'll be judged no matter WHAT you do with your hair... including leaving it alone entirely.

So since no matter what you're going to be judged... why not be judged for something you WANT/ like/ makes you happy?


Red is the smallest molecule (except for possibly blue) in hair coloring, and black is the fattest. It's practically impossible to get black OUT of the hair shaft once the molecule is shoehorned into it... and practically impossible to keep red IN the hair shaft. It WILL wash out a bit each and every single time your hair gets wet, and glycerine (what's in most conditioners) will pop the color out of the shaft like running your thumb along peas in a pod.

I've had every shade of red in the book (including fire engine, and at one point, the "purple" Ferria reds have -most Ferria dyes have a purplish mahogany hue in their red base). If it's red... it will fade.

To keep red bright:

1) Use color safe shampoo and conditioner (no glycerine in it)
2) Re-color frequently... esp if you swim or bathe regularly

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Portland on

You know, it's not a choice limited to "either" flaming red "or" dark brown, it's a continuum. Pick a spot on that spectrum that is likely to invite no more judgement than you are comfortable tolerating, and you will be fine. And you may discover that you're comfortable drawing more "interest" if you start out a bit conservative. You can always go redder next time you need a touchup.

True maturity requires that we accept the fallout from our decisions, whatever they are. Some people have the "vitality" to carry off more dramatic style. We all have a pretty good idea what our personal limits are, and how far we can nudge those boundaries.

But this question reminds me of a young mom who came to our religious community for several months. She was explicitely alternative, with dreadlocks, tattoos, makeup and clothing. This seemed to be a problem only for her – she seemed to consistently misread friendly gestures and complain that we all judged her. She eventually moved on, in spite of our attempts to help her feel at home. That seemed like a bad mismatch between a person's chosen style and her abilty to carry it off.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

It will only be trashy if it is allowed to fade and be dead and frizzy! You must must must maintain it to be a beautiful envious red and POOF! No one has room to talk. I am considering for fun getting purple extensions for "peek a boo" highlights when I am in the mood! Oh and if you are talking about the Rhianna Red my man says "drool" ... he only thinks she is attractive when she is that red go figure!

3 moms found this helpful


answers from El Paso on

I love dye my hair red...

You shouldnt care what anyone thinks, as long as you love it!!
And as for tattoos, I think they add character...
Life is short, we should enjoy tryn new things... :-)

Dye Your Hair Red!!!! ;-)

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Erie on

We are always honored by imitation. Do it. And then BE the Red!

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Tampa on

I've had vivid crimson red, burgundy red, bright red... I've had red as my preferred color since 1997, and spiky red hair since 2003. I'm a Nurse and Mom of 2.

***ADDED*** I'm a natural dark blonde and I use the dye that is meant for DARK HAIR. I generally use 30 volume but will use 20 and 40 every 3rd dye. 20 will deposit more color (if you are light colored this is great and will help the red last longer), 30 will lighten and deposit (fades a bit faster than 20) and 40 really lightens and will wash out the fastest. My Mom has been a Master stylist with REGIS for 12 years.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Nashville on

Do it mama!

Do what makes you happy.

I am a mother of 4.
I am a SAHM.
I homeschool my children.

I have brown hair and I have been wanting so bad to die it blonde.
And I'm going to do it.

I love that song from Trace Adkins "One Hot Mama!"

I say play it loud while you get your hair done.

Enjoy yourself, we only get one life.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

Go for it! I change my hair color all the time, and I'm a high school teacher. My students love that I change my hair color so often, and I don't get any criticism or critical looks from parents or from other teachers either.

My hair color ranges from light brown with lots of highlights, to very dark brown with coppery hightlights, to all shades of red. I just had it done again yesterday, and it's a dark red with lighter red and gold highlights. I love it!

Have fun with your hair! If you don't like it, you can always change it. :)

ETA: Aveda has a great shampoo to help keep the red from fading, but I don't use it when I have highlights because it will make them a strange orange or pink color. If you do all-over red, the Aveda shampoo will keep it bright.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Charleston on

Could you try some red highlights/lowlights first to see how you like it? That way it wouldn't be such a drastic change all at one time. If you like it and feel comfortable, then go all the way! Don't worry about what others think - be yourself!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Norfolk on

I've tried red and liked it, but I had to dye it every month and the commercial hair dye was frying my hair and was making my scalp break out.
My hair is dark brown (with a little grey now) and I get a wonderful auburn when I henna it every 8 weeks.
The grey becomes coppery highlights and my hair doesn't break off or feel brittle.
I like that I can get a great color and I mix my henna with vinegar (which my scalp loves) with some pumpkin spice for scent and there's nothing harsh about it (and no PPD in it).


1 mom found this helpful


answers from Detroit on

I was a blond throughout most of my life (into my 40's)....been all shades from platinum to dark ash. Did reddish blond for awhile...strawberry. I was always fair skinned and thought it looked conservatively best. One Halloween I was to be Abbie Sciuto from NCIS and put in some black spray-color to blend my bangs under a wig...Whoa, Mama! It was the color I felt hottest in. Turned around and died it totally black that afternoon between parties. I was a new person....people actually didn't recognize me.
So, if it makes you happy, do it! It's you who lives with it, not anyone else. And if you find that you don't like it, it will grow out and fade. Best of luck!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Detroit on

I just had redlights put in my hair! I have dark brown hair. I chose a violet-red, and had the stylist add them like highlights. I also have tinsel tied in. Everyone has raved about it and says how much they like it. Bright and edgy without being in-your-face. Be yourself! It's just hair. You can always dye it another color later! Have fun. :)

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Detroit on

you know what yes you should you may do it n not like or you may love who cares its for you its not for those pta pto moms or for those girlscout moms or those wrestling meet parents the parent are probably looking cuz someone with tatooes looks tough maybe they think your a tough mom who cares do what makes you happpy n the reason you go to these things is because of number one thing your KIDS there imprtant to you and you want to do your best as a mom and be active with them and thats what its all about you being happy and the kids. Im sure if you ask them there gonna be yes mom... Do what makes you Happy!!!



answers from Detroit on

If you don't like being judged then I would suggest not doing things that would bring it on. People are just like that; assume and judge according to what they see and what it seems to say about the person. Doesn't matter if it's right or wrong in assessment.
If you really want to change your hair, why not do it gradually?
Whatever a 'secret-alternative' mom is, people will equate excessiveness (multiple piercings, dramatic hair colorings, multiple tattoos) with a hard living, rough/tough type. If you want to avoid it, cut back on some of the drastic stuff and just be a mom who puts her kids first and has quirky tastes.



answers from Anchorage on

I have Momma friends with bright red, blue, teal, you name it! My hair has been every color under the sun. Becoming a mom does not mean yoiu have to lose your personal style!



answers from Tampa on

Obviously if it is something that you really want to do, then go for it. If you are really concerned about being judged, then you probably should not choose a shade that it much out of what could be a natural color. I don't think that it is trashy at all, but don't get a bright red if you don't want to call attention to yourself.



answers from Detroit on

Do what makes you happy. Who cares what the other people think or say.

I would suggest henna. It improves the condition of your hair while putting in lasting color. If your hair is brown, adding henna will give you auburn (depends on the depth of the brown you currently have).

I used henna for about 2 years. I purchased my henna from www.hennaforhair.com This site has all the info about henna and how to use it.


Do what makes you happy. Who cares what the other people think or say.

I would suggest henna. It improves the condition of your hair while putting in lasting color. If your hair is brown, adding henna will give you auburn (depends on the depth of the brown you currently have).

I used henna for about 2 years. I purchased my henna from www.hennaforhair.com This site has all the info about henna and how to use it.

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