Dual Party?

Updated on February 18, 2009
J.C. asks from Placentia, CA
48 answers

I have 2 kids, one girl who is almost 4 and 1 boy who is almost 2, the thing is their birthday days are exactly 3 weeks apart. Most of the people invited to the party will be family, who do not like to attend more than one family function a month. Both kids play well with each others friends because they are both active children, is it acceptable to throw a dual-birthday party for them, even with them being opposite gender? Thanks.

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E.Y.

answers from San Diego on

If it works for you, you could have a family party and then on each one's actual birthday do something special to mark the day. We end up doing the "birthday week" now that my girls are older, as they have the actual day of their birthday, then the party is usually on a weekend day so they can have friends over. the last two years, my 8 year old has wanted ice skating with just family and then dinner at the Olive garden and no party. They also bring snacks on their actual birthday to school to have a class celebration. the key with kids parties is that they are pretty flexible and they don't need a huge giant festival, just fun... and dessert! he he he

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T.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi J.,

Having a dual birthday party makes perfect sense. It is more fun for the children, and family members can attend to both. For us, it is hard to get everyone to come to different birthday party within a short time frame, so we generally make it a (birthday, anniversary, graduation, whatever the reason to celebrate) party.

It is also less work for you.

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J.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

J.-
Go for it! Then on their actual b-day, make a special dinner for just you guys including a b-day cake. :) Have fun!

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J.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Yes, it's definitely OK. You'll save time and money by only having one party. As they get older they will want their own parties, so do it know while you can. My cousin (a girl) and my son are 2 weeks apart and we've had parties together a few times (some with friends, some just family). It's much easier.

ps- our fave one was a medevil theme with castle cakes, a dragon pinata, tiaras and wands for girls, crowns and swords for the boys.

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A.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

hi there. this is going to be the 3rd year that my kids' birthdays are being combined to the same day. my boy is now 6 and my little girl is 3. their birthdays are a week apart from each other and to me , it just makes sense to combine because of its practicality. the guests did not have to worry about attending twice and the preparation only once. i made their theme neutral and bought a cake with both their favorite characters on it. to be honest the gender thing did not even once occur in my mind as i only wanted the kids to have a blast. their friends are mutual and i had my daughter handpick friends she wants to invite from preschool and they did nothing but play with each other. i am not sure if their is a social rule regarding celebrating a dual party for opposite genders but i do it for practical reasons, it's more economical,time saving, it's lesser stress and it's being more considerate of the guests that are invited to the party.then on their actual birthdays, my husband and i do a little extra to mark their real birthdays by baking a mini cake or cupcakes and ice cream just us family and my husband and i dote on him or her a little bit more that day. people had nothing else to say but good things, and how combining is such a good idea. but then again, it doesn't matter what people have to say, it is all about the kids and what is comfortable and feasible to do at the time that counts. it's really fun. i'd say do it and see if you like it.

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L.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Why NOT? But I would suggest that you do something "different" for each child. Instead of one large cake, make two small ones, one with each child's name. The two year old may not realize the difference, but the 4 year old will. Sing happy birthday twice, put equal focus on each kid.....you will be teaching your kids that sharing is good and it's OK to be the center of attention. LL

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A.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

I do a dual party (although it's for two boys) because they're so close together and I think that it's hard for them to come to two parties. While they're young this works. When we got older (I have a sister that is close in age and time with me) I got a friend bday party one year and she got one the next (we always had an immediate family dinner thing on our real birthday where we got to pick the dinner Mom was making)...this helped when money was tight too!:) Oh, and I helped my sister throw a Power Ranger/Princess party for her 5/3 year olds last year and it was a hit too by all. She even bought a Power Ranger Pinata and then taped a princess poster to one half of it and ta-dah a princess/power ranger pinata. :)

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S.T.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have the same situation...my son will be 8 this year and my daughter will turn 5. Their birthdays are 3 weeks apart in June/July, which makes me juggle around father's day, last day of school, and 4th of July. Uggghhh!

I've heard of many people having dual parties and being successful with it. And, I think with the young age of your children it's appropriate.

I've chosen to take a different approach. My children have birthday parties every other year (for us it's on their odd birthdays). This way I only have to plan and incur the expense for one party, but allows each child to choose their own theme, location, and activities. This year my daughter gets a big party.

On the year they don't have a party (which is my son this year), we have a small family celebration and they're allowed to invite one friend to celebrate with them. We let them choose what simple activity they want to do like go to a movie, have a day at the beach, eat at a special restaurant (my son loves Rainforest Cafe), etc. Then we enjoy cake/ice cream at home. Sometimes grammy and papa joins us, but we keep it simple and low cost and usually on the actual birthday rather than on a Saturday/Sunday.

This works for us and my children have accepted it. My daughter is already running themes through her mind for her big party and my son is already thinking about what special activity he wants to do and which friend he's going to invite. They both feel special and important.

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K.M.

answers from Reno on

J. C.
I have two children that were born 1975 and 1976 there is a three day difference, but born in the same month. So they are the same age for three days. I asked them once if we could do their birthday celebration on the same day and they both hollered NO!. I want my own day. It was important to them and I respected that. My oldest (now 35) and my daughter (now 34) are very happy they had the choice. They felt special on their birthdays, and that made it special for me too.

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J.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi J.:
I'd say, yes,for now they are still young,and don't mind sharing the lime-light. However,as they get older,I would allow them their special day alone.They will begin to feel A bit cheated,merely for the convenience of others. Take advantage of the fact they are still young,and don't mind sharing their big day. I wish you and your cuties the best.

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C.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

Absolutely! I just did it for my kids (daughter is 3, son is 1) for the same reason. Their birthdays are only 2 years and 1 week apart. We have a large family as well and this is not only respectful of their time but also cost effective for us. Just find a gender neutral them (Jungle, circus, Disney/Mickey, Sesame Street or some other activity your kids both like) Have fun!

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K.L.

answers from Las Vegas on

Hi There!

I am basicly in the same boat as you but my kids are now 4 and almost 6.Thier B-days are 11 days apart. Almost every year I have thrown a dual party. The last dual party we went to they had a Sleeping Beauty theme where the girls dressed up in there favorite dresses and the boys in their best prince costume. Last year we just did a pizza place with games for all ages. As long as it's fun for the kids, than make it easier for you and everyone else!

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S.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

J.
I think having one party is the right thing to do. Your kids aren't old enough to want their own party yet so take advantage of it. I would give them their own cake though (may little smash cakes or two small cakes insted of one big one). I went to a party for the same age kids( girl turning 4 and boy turning 2) and the mom did a under the sea theme. She did Nemo for the boy and the little mermaid for the girl. It was perfect I thought. Hope this helps.

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F.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

Of course! You can always do something more personal for each of them at home on their own birthdays- like give them your gifts and have their favorite dinners. As they get older they might appreciate having their own parties but for now enjoy the simplicity of entertaining little kids. And birthday parties are their own theme so don't worry about following a girly or boyish theme. Have Fun!

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J.N.

answers from Los Angeles on

Sure, why not? They're kids. What do they know about having separate birthday parties? It won't be until they are older that they may start having issues about co-mingling, but even then I say that kids don't dictate to parents. Do whatever is best for you.

I used to have to share my birthday with a cousin (who used to live with us for our youngest years), so that the entire family could get together at one time. Doing 2 parties in one month would have busted my mom's budget, as well as the rest of the family's due to traveling costs... When we got to the age where we had more outside friends than family members (and she was living with her parents again), we'd have the family all get together in the morning and leave after lunch so my cousin and I could have our friends over at our own homes in the afternoon/evening...

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J.W.

answers from San Diego on

Have a dual party.

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L.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

If it is fine with the kids, then it should be fine with you. In my family, we have three birthdays, each a week apart. Sometimes my parents combined, but the kids felt gypped. (spelling?) Now that we are adults, they really don't mind it at all.

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V.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

Heck yeah! It makes it more convenient for family but it makes it cheaper for you! My daughter and her best friend had "joint parties" (that sounds bad) from age 6 to age 8. It was IDEAL. Her family and I shared expenses and we had it at their place because they have a yard. We didn't do it this year because they felt that they were getting too old for "bounce house parties" but we did have a sleep over to make up for it :) Dual parties are totally the way to go!

As a side note I once knew a family with 4 kids all b-days same month and they did the same thing. All 4 kids, 1 party, TONS of fun!

Good luck!

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T.O.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi J.,
I have two boys, 2 1/2 and 4 1/2 and they SHARE a birthday! Yes, we only do one party at this age. I would do the same if they were not the same gender too. Right now they don't know any difference than their birthdays are the same. I am sure once they get older we may have to change what we do, but for now it works. If having one party works for you now, do it! Once they get older you will find a way to work through it, and then split the party if that is what they want. In the end, what is more important, your children, or what other people in the family think about too many family gatherings?

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A.N.

answers from Los Angeles on

My brother and I were born on the same day 3 years apart. Growing up my mother ALWAYS threw our parties together. I never had a party that was just my own. While their young I think it's okay, but once they're teenagers they should get their own.

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D.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

This is a great idea while they are little. When they get old enough to complain then switch.

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J.L.

answers from Reno on

I have 3 kids, the oldest 2 are just days shy of being 2 years apart.(one is on the 17th and a boy, the second on the 28th and a girl). When they were little I threw joint birthday parties not only for convience but to help with expenses. When they were little they didn't really seam to notice, now that they are older I can't get away with it. I worked out well for me, it was mainly family, and doing 1 big party verses 2 seperate ones I think more of them were able to come. I would try smaller cakes, one for each or having one side of a big cake for one with their candles on it, and the other side for the other child. They are young enough it should go over fine, and just be one big party. Good luck to you.Hope it all works out.
J.

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D.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

We do this almost every year because my daughter and son are about six days apart. Each invites a certain number of friends. We've done Chuck E Cheese, the park and recently, Golden Spoon!

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S.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

I am doing a joint party for my kids 3rd and 5th birthdays this year. Their birthdays are 11 days apart only, and I figure I'll only be able to get away with it while they are young. I have an older girl and younger boy. We are doing it an an indoor playground, so the theme is non-gender oriented, and will be fun for both age groups.

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J.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

It sure is acceptable....a friend just did this for her son and daughter and they are 4 years apart. In my opinion, there are no hard and fast rules for throwing birthday parties - for kids OR adults. Do what works best for you. When someone else says they'll foot the bill, THEN I'll let them tell me what kind of party I should have.

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M.C.

answers from Honolulu on

Totally fine. They are so little that you can get away with it. Mine are now 7 and 4, and we just completed a dual party, but they are both girls. We had both 7 and 4 year old friends attend (10 kids in all). If it is a family party, just combine it. We always celebrate my kids actual birthdays by going out the the restaurant of their choice and they can choose any balloon from Walmart (or wherever) that they have been looking at all year! That way, their own special day is still special to them, and the party will be fun for the family and they can get presents!

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S.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

My brother and I have 7 days between our birthdays. This is ok as long as the children are young. It gets very frustrating as the older girl very quickly having to deal with little brother's friends at your party. I think it is alright until the older child is about 7 or 8 depending on the child. By that age you should discuss options with them because they might like sharing their birthday party. I can tell you by the age of 8 I hated sharing my day.

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E.N.

answers from San Diego on

Of course! It makes it easier for guests, your pocket book, and the kids will have a blast! The more the merrier (:

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D.M.

answers from San Diego on

I think it's fine when they are young, but when they get a little older it's time for separate parties. Have fun!

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E.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Dual party is totally ok. If you are worried about themes because of the difference in gender, than do a generic party and non character.

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H.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi J.. I think it is perfectly acceptable throw a combined birthday party. I have nearly exactly the same situation with my son and daughter who were born exactly three weeks apart as well (12/8 and 12/28). I just threw them a combined party in December, for their 1st and 3rd birthdays and it was a great party! I had invitations made for the combined party and we did Mickey Mousetheme ( both boys and girls love it) and I made Micky and Minnie Mouse cakes and had a Mickey pinata and favors.

I think people appreciated not having to go to two parties and you will only have to plan and clean up one party which is a relief! I am hoping to do a combined party next year too.

Hope that helped and I think if you make a really big deal about the BIG combined party they are having, they will get realy excited....

:)
Take care and God bless!
H.

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O.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

of course it is! remember, these are kids - there is no party etiquette here & the 2 year old is too young to really expect hte party that the 4 year old is expecting. Let your 4 year old know that this means 2 cakes!!! :)

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K.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

I am so glad to see your request! I am facing the same problem myself. I have a boy turning 5 on May 3 and my little girl turning 2 on May 23. I tried to do 2 seperate parties last year and most everyone who showed up for the first one did not come for the second.

I am planning on definately one party this year.

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L.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi J.,

A dual party is great and practical for all. Granted that each child needs to feel they are special, there's no reason that cannot be achieved in this arrangement. During the party time take the occasion to "highlight" each one not simply with a gift, but saying something special from your heart which reflects genuine appreciation for that child being an important part of your family dreams.

I am old, and our family is very expanded - and this process even gets better as the years go by. Oh, by the way, be sure to avoid overdoing the gifts. Few and simple with lots of love is a cardinal rule.

Happy Birthdays - from a loving friend.

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L.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi J.,
I have a male cousin who is 3 years older than I am and his birthday is 1 week before mine. We did joint family birthdays together until I was about 3 or 4 years old. We had a chocolate cake for him and vanilla for me and the whole family only had to come to one party.

It's definitely more convenient and economical for you.

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A.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

There is nothing wrong with one party for 2 children regardless of gendaaar just make shure they get special attentin aaaat some point in the party such as the oldest opens theit presant first tell them before the party that is what you will doo good luck. Iraised 4 they are now adults dont worry so much mom in no.hills.

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M.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Oh yes, totally. As long as your oldest isn't generally "annoyed" with her little brother. If they are good buddies, which I'm sure they are, she will not mind at all. As for your little guy, he probably adores his older sister, so that would not be an issue. I think it's actually really sweet. Even next year wouldn't be too far off for a dual party. After that though, no way. She'll totally have all her girlfriends and want to do big girl stuff! I'm a twin and we had to share parties all the time and that gets old fast! Enjoy them being little and have a blast!
M.

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A.H.

answers from San Diego on

I don't see why not. They're young enough they would have fun and not mind sharing a day. But when they get older, make sure they have their own day.

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S.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

Absolutely! I have a boy and girl who are 7 years apart with birthdays 2 days apart. We always throw dual parties. As they got older, we sometimes did them back-to-back; ex. Family, family friends, and boys come at noon and then family & friends stay, boys leave and girls come at 3pm. but, we usually do the backyard pool party thing, so that helps.

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B.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

I would definitely do a combined party. Easier for you, easier for friends/family attending. There are plenty of themes that could work for mixed gender. We just did a Tinkerbell party for my 4 year old daughter. She has a lot of boy friends so we did a pirate theme with it. We had a combined party for her 1st because my good friend's son was born 2 days after her. We had almost all of the same friends on the invite list so we decided just to do it together. It was fabulous!!! We did a Raggedy Ann and Andy theme for that party. Good luck either way!!!!

M.T.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think it's totally fine to have their birthday parties together. My boys are 4 years apart but their bdays are only 3 days apart, so since we invite mosty the same people, we have one big party for both of them.

Theme suggestions for boys and girls could be -- circus, animals, art, backyardigans/wonderpets/other shows that they may both enjoy.

Good luck.Whatever you decide I am sure the kids'll have fun!

M.
www.marcietaylorphotography.com
www.suburbanmama.com

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B.D.

answers from San Diego on

Absolutely! Esp. at this young age! have fun

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B.M.

answers from Honolulu on

Of course! Everyone will be happier that way. How about a Dora and Diego party, or princess and pirate? or something gender neutral. Have fun and take advantage of these times when your kids don't mind sharing a party :o)

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A.P.

answers from San Diego on

Why not give them a dual party. I did when my two turned three and one. We did it because their birthdays are a month apart and Daddy was deploying before the later birthday. You could go with a Dora and Diego, princess and knight or gender neutral theme. It would be nice if you could also do some small thing on their actual birthday too. Good luck finding what works for you.

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M.S.

answers from San Diego on

Absolutely okay to have a dual party! They are still so young that it won't matter to them a bit. When they are old enough for it to bother them, they'll let you know! Have fun!

P.S. Do have a special cake on their individual birthdays though. You could also give them their gifts from you and your husband on their actual b-days as well.

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C.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

YES!! Do it. Your life will be easier too! Does the 2 yr old care that much about how the party is themed? I'd have stuff for both kids, like a princess pinata, and car plates. My daughetr turns 2 this weekend, and we are having a cookie monster cake and pizza. No theme. No decorations. #3 gets gyped-but, she'll never know.

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H.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

My kids are 3 weeks shy of 4 years apart, a girl age 1, and a boy, age 5. Just this last Saturday, I hosted a double birthday party for both of them. I had activities generated towards the 4 and 5 year olds, as well as a huge play area set up with toys for the younger kids. The party was successful despite the rain, and everyone had a wonderful time. I ordered 2 cakes, each with a different theme, and decorated using both themes.

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C.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have twins who jst turned 7 (boy-girl). They were ok through 6 years having a shared party--they had mostly the same friends. As for family what we have started doing is having separate kid and family parties. One night we will have only family over and I will cook their favorite meal for them. It means more celebrating but oh well. It keeps everyone happy.

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