Don't You Think Its About Time ? Same Sex Couples to Legally Get Married

Updated on February 27, 2014
J.N. asks from Lafayette Hill, PA
35 answers

Ladies I am heterosexual. I believe everyone should be able to find that other person that makes you happy. Gay people are pretty much the exact same as straight people with one exception.
I am conserative in some issues liberal in others. This to me just seems silly that some ultra conservative people make such a big deal of this issue. Let them get married.
I believe gay people are just morale, kind, intelligent, honest, empathic as heterosexuals.
Everyone wants to be excepted. Everyone wants kindness. Let it begin with you.

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Also I go to church every week. I think more churches and synagues should be more welcoming to gay people. They are born like this.

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answers from New York on

Yes, I believe that same sex marriage should be allowed in all states. It's allowed in mine. I'm the parent of a college student in the LGBT community and certainly I think that my child should be able to marry some day, just as my straight child should.

There are those who feel that marriage should be a religious event, and that others (such as members of the LGBT community) should have "civil unions." Here's the thing. Well, two actually. First, allowing same sex couples to marry does not take anything away from my marriage of 23 years or diminish it in any way. Second, my husband and I do not follow an organized religion. We were married in a civil ceremony. We are married. We are not civilly united. I don't believe that organized religion owns the concept of marriage. Those are my own views, and I realize that not everyone shares them.

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answers from San Francisco on

YES! I think fifty years from now we will look back and think how crazy it was that anyone thought that they shouldn't have the same rights as everyone else. I am straight and could be married a hundred times or I could go down to the corner and meet some guy and run off to Vegas today and be married. It just doesn't make sense. I think it's interesting that I have heard many politicians who were against it change their minds when they had a child "come out". Many people can't see what is right until it touches them directly....sad. If you don't believe in gay marriage, don't marry a gay person. Nuff said.

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answers from Seattle on

Totally agree. I would love it if all those opposed would end up with gay children, so they can change their minds and see that it's not a choice and has nothing to do with the environment the person grew up in. Love and kindness can replace discriminatory religion and we'd be much better off as humans. Teach respect and tolerance, not hate.

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answers from Chattanooga on

I love a quote I found online..

"The fact that you can no longer sell your daughter for two goats and a cow means we have already redefined 'traditional' marriage."

Marriage is not an exclusively religious rite, and considering the whole "separation of church and state" idea, religion should have absolutely no say in the legality of it. As an atheist, I would be pretty upset if someone had tried to stop ME from getting married...

Other than that, the main reasons I have seen against it...

1) if we give them that, next they will be wanting to marry animals.
...because you know, a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage certificate.

2) what will stop them from marrying children?
...ummmmm... Child welfare, maybe? The same thing that stops an adult man from marrying a little girl...

3) it's just plain "wrong"
....well, it wasn't too long ago that interracial marriages were just plain wrong... How silly does that seem now?

4) they will adopt and raise gay children.
....I would MUCH rather see a child raised by a gay living couple, than suffer through our country's system. If they turn out gay, so what? Also, if things worked that way, there would be no gay people at all, considering most of them were raised by straight parents... Wouldn't you think if gay people raise gay kids, straight people would raise straight kids...?

Anyone who is so against it needs to get their noses out of other people's business. If they get married, all it means is that they will have the same LEGAL rights as a consenting straight couple. It's not going to change anything other than that.

I find it very sad that they are denied these rights. I had a close friend whose partner of 25 years was killed by a drunk driver. They thought they had made all the documents necessary to have essentially the same rights as a married couple, but apparently they forgot something, as his partner's parents (who had kicked him out of their home when he 'came out' to them at the age of 16, and would have nothing to do with him...) took the body and had it shipped home, where they cremated it and dumped the ashes. Because they weren't legally married, my friend couldn't fight to keep it, and wasn't even allowed to attend the funeral. He was completely devastated.

ETA: to those claiming that they should be given a civil union instead of a marriage... Y'all do realize that marriage predates Christianity, right? Just because it is mentioned in the Bible does NOT give you exclusive rights to the word.

I am MARRIED to my husband, not participating in a civil union with him. There was absolutely no religion involved in our MARRIAGE. We are no less married than the Christian couple next door. We have no more right to be married than the gay couple down the street who wishes they could be. Just because your religion doesn't recognize it, doesn't mean you have the right to say it isn't real, or dictate who it applies to.

Also... You can KEEP your Christian marriage... You know, the one that says that a woman has to marry her rapist, that women are the property of their parents until they are sold to their husbands, that women must be subservient to their husbands, that marriage is not valid unless the woman is a virgin, that a widow must marry her husband's brother... Yeah... Enjoy. Or are you only going to pick and choose which parts of the bible apply?

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answers from Boston on

I was never as proud to be from Massachusetts as I was when we became the first state in the country to legalize same-sex marriage. I support it 100% and believe that it's only a matter of time until this whole issue looks as absurd in the rear-view mirror as the flack over interracial marriage looks to us now.

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answers from San Francisco on

Of course.

For anyone who is against this, I have to ask you: If you found out someone near and dear to you, maybe even your child, was gay, would you still want marriage to be unavailable to them?

What if your child were gay, your child. Don't limit the happiness of other people's children. Anyway, it's happening whether you like it or not. It's just a matter of time.

LOL Squirrelytots -- "joy and misery known as marriage." I can't stop laughing!

In response to Christine S. -- marriage is not a religious term. I'm not religious and I'm married. I belong to no church. So it's possible to not be religious and be married. Most other people don't go to "your church," so I don't know why your church is supposed to be the arbiter of marriage. I think you should stop forcing "your church" into other people's lives.

I love the way people who don't like things being forced on them (such as Obamacare) feel perfectly justified in forcing their beliefs on other people, and don't see the hypocrisy in that. I thought kindness was supposed to be a core value of "your" religion.

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answers from Washington DC on

Here's my view....I am Christian, read the Bible, go to church, etc...but I don't give a flip who anyone wants to love. Isn't it better for people to love others than to hate?

So I say's time.

There are still people who take issue with my marriage, my husband is black and I am white. I don't care what people think about it though.

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answers from Portland on

Here here.

Honestly, when our state voted several years ago to amend our state's constitution to limiting the definition of marriage to "between one man and one woman", I was embarrassed. And angry.

Same-sex marriages supports not only the spouses in the relationships, but also provides necessary legal supports to their families, of which I know several. These parents are raising their children with the same sense of right and wrong, the same family values as most of us grew up with.

When my husband and I had our son, we were not yet married. We jumped through a lot of hoops, such as having to have our son's birth certificate info notarized-- because we weren't married. Getting me on my guy's insurance wasn't possible-- because we weren't married. We did get married and it made our lives so much easier. Seeing only the relatively small inconveniences we experienced because we weren't married at the time, I think it's atrocious that other couples who love each other (and have kids together) *aren't allowed* to marry. And it costs a lot more to ensure your family is protected through drafted legal documents (like going to a family lawyer to have wills and other custodial rights papers drawn up for non-blood-related parents of children in same-sex relationships) instead of having those rights legally protecting family members as part and parcel of marriage.

This is about supporting families, as far as I'm concerned. Anyone who is in love with another person -- who are both of legal age, should be allowed to marry.

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answers from Pittsburgh on

Of course same sex marriage should be legal. I don't see why this is even a question in this country in 2014. And Arizona - wow, how awful.

My temple is welcoming to gay couples (and inter racial and inter-faith couples as well).

ETA - I am unclear how a gay couple marrying is disrespecting 'the Church' (because really, there is no single church in this country). When conservative Christians marry in their church, I don't take that to somehow disrespect my religion. I respect their freedom to marry whomever they choose in a ceremony of their own selection. And I expect the government to respect their marriage in the same way (tax consequences, property rights, inheritance, parental rights) it respects mine.

People judge those who oppose gay marriage in the same way that we judge those who opposed equal rights for blacks during the civil rights era. I don't see how it is an issue where we can all agree that we are all correct.

And no, we can't just 'move on'. Not until same sex marriage is legal in the entire country. That would be like saying - well, we in the north don't have segregation, so let's just move on and ignore the south.

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answers from Boston on

Yes I'm totally in favor of it. How dare we presume otherwise?

I'm also against selective Scripture quoting! Lots of people select a Bible verse to support the "abomination" idea, but in my studies in many synagogues (where the rabbis are translating from the original Hebrew and not an English translation from the Greek translation of the Hebrew), there's a strong look at the actual words chosen as well as the historical context. Homosexuality in Biblical times was almost always associated with cults, idol worship and non-consensual sex - so that's where the prohibition originated. We reinterpret the Bible all the time - no one is stoning adulterers or performing animal sacrifices, and pretty much everyone's eating shellfish and pork or wearing clothes made of both linen and wool at the same time. So it's a little hypocritical to say "The Bible says…" only for selective things. My synagogue has performed same-sex marriages (if both people are Jewish, same as heterosexual marriages) for a long time.

When people meet my husband and me, they think about whether we're nice people, good conversationalists, and decent community servants. They don't immediately (if ever) envision us in bed together. So why people look at gay couples and immediately think "sex" really says more about their own discomfort than about the gay couple's life and priorities.

I think it's awful that gay men in pro sports have had to hide their sexual orientation (and still risk ridicule and violence), that Arizona passed a law saying restaurants and other business don't have to serve gay customers (it's just going to backfire horrifically, with tremendous loss of business through boycotts), and that we have a suicide problem among our teens and 20-somethings that is heavily tied to bullying and sexual orientation. I think it's terrible that our kids are told what toys they can play with and what clothes/colors they can wear because of someone else's assumptions about what's masculine and feminine.

Then again, I also thinks it's ridiculous that we are still fighting to teach evolution, keep prayer out of schools, and give women access to contraception! I thought those battles were over and done with too.

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answers from Washington DC on

'a special kind of stupid' is anyone who thinks that it's possible to simply go to a different business if you, an american citizen, are denied patronage at one. so if you happen to live in a podunk town with two homophobic barbers, or bakers, or gas stations, you 'just' have to drive 2 or 200 miles to find one who will condescend to serve you.
'a special kind of stupid' is anyone who isn't quite capable of looking at our history and seeing that we've dealt with this issue decisively already.
'a special kind of stupid' is someone who can't make the leap of inserting 'black' or 'female' in there and having that aha moment.
marriage isn't religious. my husband and i are of differing religions and have never had a religious ceremony. but we're married.
those who want religious marriages are always free to seek them in their house of worship of choice. and churches are, as they always have been, free to refuse to marry those against whom they discriminate.
thank all the gods that we live in a society where the church is not the state.
it's time for us to walk our talk.

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answers from Grand Forks on

Of course same sex marriage should be legal. It has been legal here since 2004. I can't believe it is 10 years later and there are places where it is still not legal. I also find it hard to believe that in 2013 that there are still denominations who claim to be Christian, yet oppose gay marriage.

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answers from Los Angeles on

I think it is insane that it is illegal for gay couples to marry. First, who cares who someone marries? Why is it anyone's business but their own? Second, what about the separation of church and state? There are NO good legal arguments to ban the marriages - all opposition stems from a religious belief. Law in this country CANNOT be based on religion. It's a recipe for disaster.

Yesterday, my three year old daughter said she wanted to marry her best friend (a girl). My six year old son told her she couldn't marry a girl. I said yes she can! I told them that usually boys marry girls, but sometimes boys marry boys and girls marry girls, and that's ok! Teach them while they're young!

Remember when you couldn't have interracial marriages? Half the couples I know would have to get divorced if that was still the case. Including me!

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answers from Bloomington on

I agree that gay couples should have the same rights as everyone else.

My question to everyone that expresses the argument that marriage is a religious union. I was married in the court house by a justice of the peace. In your eyes does this invalidate my marriage??

I am assuming that you were married in the church of your choice. I am also assuming that you and your husband were both virgins when you got married as premarital sex is against the bible.

Also, since you were obviously married in the church you have never and will never be divorced as part of the vows are "till death do us part".

Anyone who argues that marriage is between a man and a woman because that is how the bible states it should be able to answer that yes, they were both virgins when they got married and no they have never been divorced and will never be divorced. Any other answer and, in my opinion, you are a hypocrite.

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answers from Miami on

I am with Angela S. on this one. The state should not be involved in marriage. Marriage is a religious term - and in my faith it is a sacrament. My church doctrine says that marriage is between one man and one woman.

The issue I have with marriage being regulated by the state has to do with the intrusion into religion. If gay marriage is legal will the state then force pastors, rabbi, etc into performing gay marriages? Before you say that won't happen, think about what happened with Obamacare. The state decided to regulate health insurance with state decided requirements that included birth control. The Catholic Church objected based upon religious beliefs and is still in court fighting this.

Whether you agree or disagree, the Catholic Church is not small and has still had Obamacare forced upon it as of today. Thus, any religious organization that disagrees with any type of marriage be it gay, plural, etc could have the state forcing state decisions upon marriage.

And yes, after gay marriage will be plural marriage and who knows what else.

I believe Jan means that everyone wants to be accepted not excepted. I agree and I believe we should follow the commandment to love one another as I have loved you. I do not believe that we need to extend marriage to gay couples. There are other ways to extend the state offered benefits that would serve to bring us together rather than pull us apart.

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answers from Seattle on

I have been married for 11 years. We have 3 great kids. We were not married in the church. We were not married by a pastor, preacher, or any other religious person. In fact, the woman who married us is a practicing Wiccan.
In my opinion, being married has nothing to do with religion and everything to do with love.
I know quite a few gay people who love God just as much as the rest of you. But maybe their God is different then yours. Maybe he is more loving, generous, forgiving, and NOT a judgemental jerk. Maybe he knows that he created ALL people....even the ones that may love differently than you.
Listen, I don't care WHO you love. YOu want more than one wife or one husband? Go for it. You want to love someone that is the same gender as you? Fine. You want to love someone that has a criminal background? No problem. You want to love someone that is a different color or race than you? (WHICH, all kinds of people brought up biblical passages to support not letting mixed races marry too. Now we think they were foolish) I don't care.
OF COURSE....loving or trying to marry a child is sick and wrong and I care about that. But as long as people are consenting adults I don't see why people have to but in.
I am proud to be in a state that allows straight and gay folks to marry. It's about time.

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answers from Portland on

It is long past time. My religious community has been marrying same-sex couples since the 90's, though of course that didn't grant any legal equality. I am glad this is finally becoming a legal reality.

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answers from Salinas on

It's way past time, it's about freedom. Gay couples that are not legally married do not enjoy the same rights as the rest of us. They are treated as second class citizens when it comes to taxes, retirement benefits, hospital rights, inheritance rights and death benefits, like bereavement leave or social security. This is a very simple civil rights issue not a religious one.

Not only do we have religious freedom in this country but we have freedom from religion. To those of you who claim marriage is a religious union, it is for YOU. Not for me and many others whose marriages are just as valid as yours.

Maybe the religious people who do not want to share the LEGAL term marriage with Gay people should come up with their own term. How about "religiously sanctioned marriage" or maybe "marriage that God endorses" or "church marriage". That way Gay people can enjoy equality and you all can feel good about yourselves. Problem solved.

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answers from Norfolk on

I think a happy marriage is good for the people involved (2 consenting adults (not children) I don't care what gender) and good for society in general.
I don't think polygamy is a good idea although I'd like to see more polyandry (multiple husbands committed to raising/supporting what ever children their wife gives birth to).

Considering that SO MANY heterosexuals are not bothering to marry I wouldn't want to discourage anyone away from it.

That being said, quite a few people marry foolishly, don't take time to get to know who they are having sex with, and then divorce but there's nothing wrong with finding the right person for you and trying again.

Marriage is not just a religious thing - it's a legal partnership which establishes who is your next of kin and the person you marry is promoted to a closer kinship than your parents or siblings as well as rights of inheritance.
Atheists can marry.

That Arizona bill has been vetoed.
But I'm still amazed it made it as far as it did.

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answers from Muncie on

Yes, it's time.
Yes, I'm Christian.
Yes, I'm married.
No, I do not identify as Hetero.

I believe the government needs to approve, then the individual churches need to deal if a couple comes to it wishing to be married within it's grounds. There will be churches that will welcome and there will be those that don't. They can discriminate until they are blue, the government however should not. Where's the separation of church and state?! Keep the government out of my religion and keep my religion out of the government.

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answers from Jacksonville on

I know many gay couples who love each other and deserve to be married much more than some straight couples. Straight people get married and divorced so often nowadays and many have no respect for the sanctity of marriage. But 2 men who love each other and live together and respect each other for 20 years and can't be married?! Ridiculous!

ADDED: For those who say they believe marriage is between a man and a woman, fine that's YOUR belief. It's not everyone's.

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answers from Appleton on

I have done a commitment ceremony for a lebian couple. I believe it should be legal for them to marry.
Marriage is more than a romantic ceremony it is also a legal document so the partner can speak for us if we cannot do it for ourselves. If a gay person's parent doesn't like his/her lifestyle they can ban the partner from a hospital room and in many cases inherit any estate and make all medical decisions, even if the partner knows this is not wanted by the unconscious person, instance life support.
Marriage should be legal no matter if they are gay or hetersexual.

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answers from Phoenix on

I just have to say that I, and the majority of Arizonans, do not support SB 1062. Recent polls here show that as much as 80% of the general population in AZ thinks Gov. Brewer should veto it. Three representatives have already recanted their vote. That is not what our state is about. I think Brewer is ramping up the drama for her veto, but that veto is coming. It has to.

ETA- I don't believe what the media tells me. At all. I read the statute. I also took Constitutional Law in law school, and I have a pretty good handle on the legal implications. But by all means, add credence to your point by calling the opposition stupid. Bravo.

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answers from Los Angeles on

It sure is.

As for businesses "getting to choose who they 'do business' with"?
Surely some here are old enough to remember the "white only" lunch counters, right?
This country gas already had this conversation.
Time to move FORWARD!

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answers from Milwaukee on

Marriage in the eyes of the law & government has nothing to do with religion. It is a recognition of a committment between two people, bound by law, & afforded protections, rights (& some tax penalties).

My husband & I belong to a non-denom christian church. I stand opposed to what they preach about same-sex marriage. I don't think it has anything to do with the church. When same-sex couples want to be married by the pastor of our church, THEN they can speak their piece about whether or not it is God's plan.

Whether you believe that gays are born that way, choose that way, or a little of both (I've personally met all 3), it doesn't matter. What does matter is that in this country, without the allowance of same-sex marriage, people who are together with someone they want to commit to for life are being treated differently than other people.

We didn't allow it to continue against blacks in this country, and we need to move forward now towards equal treatment for same-sex couples.

Either allow same-sex marriages throughout the country, or remove the stipulation of marriage as a requirement in order to be afforded rights. This is not a religious issue, and it shouldn't even be a political issue. T.

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answers from Chicago on

it is time in my state finally!

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answers from Houston on

Everyone should have the right to share in the joy and misery known as marriage. At least we aren't regressing like Uganda so I try to be optimisic we as a nation are headed in the correct direction albeit slower than I think is necessary.

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answers from New York on

Marriage is between a man and a woman. Gays can be together but don't call it marriage. We are a country going down the wrong path. Look what the FDA is pondering today. Creating an embryo with three people. Tell me we are not going to hell and a handbag!!!

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answers from Jacksonville on

Absolutely. It goes against American values to not extend full civil rights to everyone. As an adult, marrying is your choice, and their are benefits to be had because of it. Again, it is against everything we hold dear not to equally extend those rights. Courts, legislatures, etc. not supporting equal rights due to religious views, it the exact opposite of American values.

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answers from Santa Fe on

Yes, of course I do. It's ridiculous that some people get so hot and bothered over this. It's time.

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answers from Houston on

I would love this country to consider equality laws and even pass them without judgement towards conservative Christians. Until then and beyond that, I'll do what I can to encourage the LGBT community and its supporters to respect the Church and all its beliefs because in the end, we are all American citizens.

Marry whoever you want to! Just stop with the judgement towards those who oppose same sex marriage. If I may quote on behalf of those who are against gay marriage...."Everyone wants to be excepted. Everyone wants kindness. Let it begin with you."

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answers from San Antonio on

I think, and it is only my two cents for what it is worth. That the government should offer to any two adult (over the age of 18) people who want to combine households, file joint income taxes, and have the benefits of a two person household that opportunity. They should call it a union licence or, whatever they want to call it. Let any two adults who want to go get one get one and call it a day. Their rights are protected, anyone who wants those rights can have them.

If you want to get married then find a clergy person in your faith to preform a ceremony that you call "marriage". Then be "married" or not but everyone is protected under the law wether they have a marriage ceremony or not as long as they have the government license.

Leave marriage to the church/religions as they be and a union to the government.

I don't see how we can in the USA as the laws that already exist prohibit whomever wants a union a union.

Separate the church and the state in this issue.

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answers from Los Angeles on

I agree completely.

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answers from Boca Raton on

yes, it's time. move on. stop talking about it.

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answers from Reading on

Totally in support - I've been an HRC member for years and have done campaigning for this movement - but I'm going to say the same thing I say when people start gun debates or obamacare debates here. I don't think this is the right forum for political debate. I think it's wrong whether or not I agree with the expressed position because all it ever does here is cause arguments and because there are hundreds of appropriate sites for those debates and discussions.

That said, I'm not mamapedia police - I just felt it would be hypocritical not to say so....

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