Does Your Child LOVE/HATE Kindergarten

Updated on September 26, 2012
M.P. asks from Minneapolis, MN
8 answers

My 5 year old was so excited to go. She was wiggling with excitement the first day. She had what seemed, an awesome first 2 days, then the 3rd day was not that exciting and by the weekend she was bawling she hated it. This is week 3 and its torture to wake her up. She screams, cries, dramatizes everything! all morning! she gets in the building, tears stop, smile appears and she walks in and seems fine. I pick her up, and once she is in the car seat the tears turn back on and I hear her complain all the way home. She cries before bed, and when she wakes up. The most I get out of her consistently is that its too noisy and that 2 boys in her class "bother" her. From her descriptions these are boys with some high activity levels, and inability to focus or sit still for long periods. Shes already been able to convince her teacher to move her to a different table from one of the boys, but apparently she was moved to a new table with a just as disruptive boy as well. I know my daughter is being mostly dramatic, but is there any good suggestions to help her get over this or do some kids just hate school this much? I loved it and so did my husband so we are at a loss. She is doing her work perfectly, there is no complaints from her teacher and mostly I get from her, is that my daughter is very bright, fun, and well behaved. So I dont know whats going on.

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So What Happened?

She does have a core group of friends now, that has never been her problem. She makes friends fast, but I think she doesnt like these boys at all and this is her excuse not to like school.

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answers from Provo on

When my son's reports of how other kids treated him in preschool sounded suspicious, I spent a couple days in his classroom to see for myself. Kids' reports can either be over reactions or under reactions. It was very valuable for me to do this. The teacher was not connecting the dots between the little tiffs my son and some kids were getting into every day and the fact that my son was hiding under tables and wetting his pants. My son reported things as "My friends and I play hitting games sometimes". So I went in the classroom twice and saw for myself how all the kids and the teachers were interacting and as an observer I was able to see what the teachers were not able to see because their attentions were pulled so many directions. I saw how certain kids in the class really were bullying and my son wasn't the only target. I saw how my son tried to tell the teacher and she couldn't hear him over the noise. I saw him forget that I was there and hide to get away from the little girl who randomly hit people all over the room. I heard the way the teachers interacted with the children. I got a general idea of the good and bad of the situation and better understood what my son was trying to tell me. Then I knew what action needed to be taken and I also could interpret my son's behavior better for the teachers. You can do the same in a kindergarten classroom. They love parents coming in to help!

4 moms found this helpful

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answers from Honolulu on

Talk to the Teacher, yourself.
OR go to the classroom, and hang out.
The Teachers at my kids' school, do not mind that at all.

My son LOVED Kinder.
But yes, some kids... do not like being around SO many others, nor SOOO many other personalities... because, they cannot 'control' it, the kids, the noise, the commotion, the activities that abound etc.
Or it is too much stimulation for them.
This happens.
I have seen it happen first hand, and from kids actually telling me... that being around SO many other kids and their noises, bothers them. I work at my kids school, and I see this.
But this is school. The child is not at home, by themselves and only their Mom. They are at school now.
And yes, some boys OR even the GIRLS... can be, very very busy and noisy. It is not only the boys.


At my kids' school, all of the Teachers and school Counselors, keep a vigilant look out for the Kinder kids... because, it can take them a couple of months to adapt. And, for some kids, there is crying and fussying and some kids have a hard time, adapting. Because, they cannot arrange or control others the way they want to. It is when a child learns... how to socialize within a bigger group (the classroom) and to be adapted to that ALL day.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Philadelphia on

hmmmm i feel like i've seen this question before=)

i'll add my answer here because I can type longer responses instead of from my phone=)

Emmy was 4/5 in preschool and did this exact thing. The only thing that helped was time. Eventually she learned her crying idnt change the fact she still had to go, and ussually when i picked her up she's be a stinker and yell waittttttt I'm playing, so I knew it was more the anxiety and being stubborn than anything. still made M. feel crappy each morning and during bedtime when she'd cry

I can tell you she's J. not an "i love school" kind of kid.
in K she no longer cried but begged not to go and then enjoyed her time. Now in first at a new school she isn't happy and is whining in the mornings again. I assume the less you ask them about it and dwell on it the more she'll realize nothin is changing and to "suck it up"
in the meantime you need to relax and realize this wont hurt her n the long run...eventually your kid and mine have to enjoy school right?

i'm holding out hope and learning to let go=)

btw its acceptable to ask the teacher to pair her up with a kid so she makes a friend and enjoys it more

ETA: emmy;s complaint was the afternoon teacher was mean. she J. wasnt as sweet as the morning teacher, but I dont think that's what it was really about. i think they J. miss their parents and express it by torturing us with tears and screams and making us feel guilty. all the while they leave are sides and after 5 minutes are having tons of fun while we're at home/work worrying

2 moms found this helpful


answers from San Francisco on

I would talk to her teacher. Let her know what your daughter is telling you, and ask her how she's doing in class.
Teachers want their students to be successful and happy, but they don't always know when there's a problem. If you give the teacher a heads up she can observe her more closely and will do what she can to support her and make sure she is having a positive, meaningful experience.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Albuquerque on

Both of my girls like kindergarten. They don't love it because as they say "it's boring. We have to sit all the time." but so far no real complaints. In your shoes, I would bring your daughter's concerns to the teacher. If she is very bright, fun and well behaved and there are multiple other kids in the class who are troublemakers (or just overly active and loud), she may be getting lost. And for a sensitive little kid, the noise and general chaos of kindergarten can be overwhelming. The teacher may be able to make small tweaks in seating, giving directions, etc. to help your daughter feel more comfortable.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from New York on

Mine seemed to enjoy it the first 3 days, which were HALF-DAYS. Ever since he started full days, he has complained. It's too long, he doesn't want to go, he feels sick, etc. etc. etc. Ironically, his Pre-K days last year were just as long, but 1. he didn't take the bus, which adds probably another hour and a half to his day and 2. he had tons of recess and playtime at Pre-K.

Clearly, Kindergarten is a lot more work for him, as he has already learned to count by 10s and has seriously started to read some words in the last couple weeks. I am hoping the complaints die down as he grows more used to the schedule. The teachers seem to like him and he is making new friends in class. Nothing terrible has happened. This early in the school year, I think it's wait-and-see. See how October plays out.

Best of luck!



answers from Pittsburgh on

My son loved kindergarten. It was a Montessori, so there was no sitting still in one place for long periods. Nor was it noisy, at all (worried me in fact, 17 quiet little kids). What I would do in you situation is you or DH/DP spend some time observing in the classroom. At my son's school, we were actually required to spend two periods observing the kids. Then you will know what to speak with the teacher about. It is NOT ok for your 5 year old to dislike school. If she dislikes school at this age, she will learn to dislike learning and that is simply not ok.



answers from Topeka on

Mine loves school but doesn't like the disruptive students.I tell my kids to ignore it & pay closer attention to the teacher if teacher has to stop teaching and attend to the students don't bother looking at their behavior.We have complaints daily about students errr don't know what it is i'm sure they miss being home.

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