Does This Sound like Depression to You? LONG -Sorry

One good thing for her would be to talk with a therapist, it has helped me quite a bit - I am like you I held it in for many years and now I need a few different meds to feel "normal". I also have adult ADD and I'm on Vyvanse and I have felt better by being on the vyvanse (maybe she needs her dose bumped up), my son who is very complex and complicated and he is also on Vyvanse and has been for almost 2 years and it has helped him out so much. I used to work in a peds clinic and sitting through all the drug rep lunches with different specialists with them I do remember one lunch he said that quite a bit of time depression can go hand in hand with ADD/ADHD.

Good Luck!

If you are concerned and don't know how to handle the situation then counseling is a pretty good place to start. Someone experienced with ADD/ADHD can help her learn how to cope with the things she has trouble with. I would also mention the things you are noticing to her psychiatrist (or whomever is prescribing her ADD medication) at the next appointment.

As for her biological dad, reassure her that he has his own difficulties to deal with and it is in no way her fault that he is not in her life right now

I think everyone else had really good advice, and I just wanted to add something. I've found that my kids tend to mirror my behavior-- if I go through a phase when I am short on patience, they go through that phase too. Please know that I am NOT saying that you are negative around her or have anything to do with her ADD.

My daughter (7) was starting to have major temper tantrums (I'm talking rolling around on the floor and screaming), and I realized that it was because I was not being very patient with HER. So I resolved to be more patient. I also started hugging her and telling her I loved her every single time it crossed my mind. I can't tell you what a HUGE difference this made for us. After 2 weeks, she was a totally different child.

I'm thinking that this approach could help your situation too. Particularly with her feeling like she doesn't have goodness in her. If your face lights up every day when she comes home from school, and you tell her you love her and hug her many times a day, how could she doubt her goodness? I really encourage you to try this. Tell her you love her EVERY SINGLE TIME it crosses your mind. Even if you don't feel loving toward her at the moment, even if she's being grumpy, even if it feels over the top-- fake it if you have to, give her a hug and tell her you love her. (but be sincere, not sarcastic-- this may be hard if she's grumpy ;-)

This approach may also help with her fear-- my daughter was afraid to go upstairs by herself until a few months ago. I think that the frequent "I love you's" has helped her feel more secure, and it may help your daughter with her fears and with her feelings about the situation with her father. I really do think this will help you like it helped us. Blessings to you both.

Sounds like her meds aren't working anymore... or are only having limited effect.

Anxiety and intense emotions (especially guilt spirals) are SUPER common with adhd... it's part of the disorder... because our brain just LATCHES onto something (positive or negative) and RUNS with it. ((Also why normal punishments don't work with adhd kids... they focus on the punishment itself, instead of *why* they're being punished, and how to change)).

I strongly suspect that either puberty is hitting (aka her meds need to be bumped up or altered), or that she's put on inches and pounds and her meds just need to be upped to reflect her new height/weight, or that for no discernible / an unknown reason her meds need to be bumped up or altered (just happens sometimes, it's usually situational... like going from working to being a SAHM, or going from college to work, or dealing with a death, or, or, or... essentially our brains "need" changes which means either a different dose or a whole new med to cope with differing circimstance). ADHD meds usually have to be either bumped or altered when our body grows (add 50 lbs? meds need to be increased to be at the same "level"), or when we have hormonal changes (puberty, pregnancy, menopause).

It's REALLY common with adhd kids that one med family works prior to puberty, but that they have to switch into an entirely different family of meds once puberty hits, although *some* can just change the dose. Because brain chemistry changes as we mature, our maturing brains often need a different kind of kickstart.

R. Adhd-c mum to an adhd-c kiddo

Kids with ADHD can suffer from self esteem issues because sometimes adults are always on them about stuff they are doing wrong. I don't mean you at all. But, at school, her teacher could be reprimanding her for things she just can't remember to do. Her friends may make fun of her for not being like them. The crying could be from anxiety or depression. I think a support group for girls with ADHD would be good for her so she could see that there are many other people just like her. It may normalize her feelings. I would also set up counseling. You didn't say if she sees a psychiatrist or pedi for ADHD meds but I would recommend switching to a psychiatrist if you aren't already. They can help with diagnosing dual diagnosis and changing meds to see improvements in ADHD along with mood and feelings. Good luck and good job listening to your daughter and seeking out extra help for her. She is lucky to have a mom who cares and loves her so much. Let us know what you decide.

yes, your daughter is in emotional distress. If you believe that counseling may help her, then by all means....please seek this for her!

I am also going to express an opinion that may upset quite a few moms: sometimes, as adults, we get so caught up in the blame/label game that we forget to live our lives. Sometimes we focus on what went wrong & how we can fix it......& forget to live for - "in the moment". We lose our ability to be spontaneous & joyful in each of the "gifts of the moment".

Yes, your daughter has lived an emotionally-strung out childhood. But if you learn to focus on the "happy" & not the "OMG, he's screwed her over again"......then you will find that your daughter may be more adaptable & amenable to life. In no way, do I want to minimize the effect her dad has had on her.....but by living a positive, outward, forward-looking lifestyle ... you may find that the turmoil is limited & she can be happy.

To help boost her self-esteem, find an activity which she enjoys & embraces. It could be sports, Scouts, volunteering.....but please find something to fill her time, to encourage her personal growth....& I truly believe you'll have a happier child on your hands! AND, since you are also a victim of "bad things", then maybe sharing these positive experiences will allow you to focus forward, too! I sincerely wish you Peace!

Absolutely, she should have professional counseling from a qualified mental health professional who has training and experience in child and family issues (as well as attachment issues). There is a better chance of positive treatment outcome when therapy and medication are combined.

In addition, her medication should be prescribed and monitored by a psychiatrist who specializes in pediatric patients. Nothing against her pediatrician, but there is a very good reason for specialists. If you live in an area where this type of specialist is not readily available, it is worth traveling to get this treatment. Once she is stablilized on the appropriate dose of the appropriate medication(s), you may be able to have your pediatrician follow her with periodic visits to the psychiatrist.

This child has clearly been through a great deal of emotional turmoil in her nine years, and it will take some time to help diminish the effects of all of those emotional wounds. It is wonderful that she has someone so loving and caring as you to give her the family life that she needs.

I hope she will be able to get help as soon as possible to help diminish her current level of suffering as well as avoid future problems. Best to you and your family.

J. F.

You have gotten some good advice, but Sue H.'s advice was great and so, so, true. It is easy to focus on what may have caused these feeling she is dealing with right now, but I do think the best thing anyone can do when your feeling depressed is finding someone else to help, especially volunteering for your community or a womens shelter, etc. because helping others helps you feel better about yourself and gets your mind off yourself. My daughter went though a crying time when she was about that age up until about 13-14 yrs old, she didn't know why she would get so sensitive and cry about anything, we even got books to read about it, but I think it was just a maturing stage her body was going through. she is 40 yrs old today and we laugh about those times now.
I would find a counselor but one that you can trust and hopfully a christian counselor.
Also I would find a special thing you two like to do together, my daughter and I loved to garage sale together, so we looked forward to that every weekend. we also did some crafts together. Just something that keeps the communication open between you and sometimes while working together it helps them to open up and share feeling that maybe are even hidden to them, its hard for that age to put into words what feeling they are having when they don't know what it is they are feeling. God bless you both as you seek Him to help you know how to help your daughter.

I agree with the advice to seek out a child psychiatrist, whose expertise is to monitor and "fine tune" the medication over time. I also agree with the advise that counseling/therapy would be a definite benefit to your daughter, and it can also help to determine what the source of the anxiety/depression issues are (i.e.her background vs. medication, etc). Ideally, you can find a therapist and psychiatrist who are able to not only communicate well with you and your daughter, but with each other.

My son is 10, and taking Vyvanse as well. We have been struggling with very similar issues, and I can say from our personal experience that it is so important to have the support of people who understand what your daughter is experiencing, and who can provide both of you with the support and guidance you really need. I wish you all the best!

I would definitely seek counseling. It certainly can't hurt and it sounds like it could help. Talk to your minister and see if he can offer some guidance. God bless you!

Sure sounds like depression. I've dealt with depression all my life and in counseling I learned that because my mother was depressed most of her life, I would be more prone to be depressed. I urge you to start her in counseling.

I don't know about Vyvanse but many drugs do increase ones, especially a child's, chances to be depressed. I would ask the doctor about it.

It is possible that what your daughter is dealing with is more about depression than ADD. Their symptoms can be very similar.

Of course you should consider counseling for her.
Of course you are NOT making a big deal out of nothing.
This is not nothing.
This is definitely something.
It is good that she's able to tell you how she feels about her (bio)dad
breaking his promises. Much better than if she couldn't say those things.
I wonder if trying a different med might be better for her
than the one she is currently taking.
Keep on listening to your daughter . . .
and to your mother's instincts.

You KNOW what to do...what are you waiting for? Get her the help you wish you had.

Definitely she should be in counseling. Maybe her meds need adjusting. Also, seek to put in her activities she enjoys and feels she is good at. Give her plenty of positive reinforcement and help her focus less on the negative things.

take her to the dr, get her to a psych. dr, or a therapist. sounds like she has an anxiety issue in addition to the add. i have add and have recently discovered i have anxiety issues too. help her by getting her professional help.