Does This NOT Make Sense to Anyone Else?

Updated on September 17, 2011
R.D. asks from Richmond, VA
39 answers

My kids bus stop is literally the corner of our front yard. The girls are 6 and almost 8. Last year, they walked to and from the bus stop every day by themselves (unless it was pouring down rain, then I'd drive them to the bus stop and pick them up). I have a huge front window that I stand in and watch them on and off the bus every day.

Last year, this wasn't an issue.

This year, I get a call from transportation, and they said any child under the age of 8 MUST be accompanied by an adult at the bus stop. I was surprised, so I said 'Oh? Is this a new rule?' They told me it had been the rule all along.

So I read through the entire BOOK of Richmond Public Schools Transportation, and NOT ONCE does it say that!!

I asked the bus driver this morning, and she said SHE was the one who reported me. I was like 'you're the same bus driver as last year, you ARE aware that YOU let this slide all last year, AND it doesn't say it anywhere in the book that this is the case'. She told me to call the transportation number and take it up with them. I told her I'm not trying to be difficult, but I live RIGHT THERE and can watch the girls, while not having to drag my drama queen son out, same as last year, no issues.

I'm waiting for the supervisor of this district to return my call... but in the meantime, does this not make sense to anyone else? If it was in the rule book, I wouldn't even give it a second thought, but it's not. It DOES state that KINDERGARTENERS must have a parent or guardian, but nothing specifically to age, and my girls are in 1st and 2nd (note that my one daughter would have been in K LAST year when this WASN'T an issue).

Anyone?

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So What Happened?

@PS, she would have told me if the kids were misbehaving, and I HIGHLY doubt that's the case.

I even called the school and asked if there were any changes, they said no, only K students require a parent at the bus stop.

They are also the only kids at this stop; it's not like they're screwing around with other kids and running around or anything.

LOL @ Kjinhb, actually, I did NOT forget her at Christmas, she got a card and home made cookies :)

To the women worried about abduction: understandable, wanting to protect your kids, HOWEVER, there are NO LESS SICKOS out there than there were in the past 30 years (remember being a kid and being cut loose from sun up to sun down?)... in fact, child abductions are almost always done by someone IN THE FAMILY, and the percentage of child abductions has gone down significantly since we now teach children 'stranger danger'... that is the very last of my worries with THIS bus stop.

The transportation district manager called me and said that no, I'm right, my kids are fine, and he will address this with my kids driver... I'll catch her when she drops off the girls are let her know it's no hard feelings.

And seriously, even if I was at the bus stop, if someone was hell bent on snatching my kids, you think me holding a baby is going to be able to out-muscle a few men in a van? They could just as easily shoot me and take the kids anyway, hypothetically speaking, and now my son and I are dead and my daughters are STILL kidnapped... see the reasoning and common sense there?

To the mom's who think it's not a big deal to walk them to the bus stop or called me lazy, LOL!! Pathetic. Are you so perfect you can judge me? I don't think so.

Featured Answers

A.G.

answers from Houston on

My daughter waited for the bus alone at 6 and 7. Her bus stop is literally at my mailbox and i just watch her from my open front door. I plan on letting my youngest do this at 5 or 6 while standing with my oldest who will be 10 by then. By this time i will have a toddler whom i dont want to drag out of sleep so i can walk 5 feet past my door.

Im with you.

5 moms found this helpful

F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

Give me a break. What about all the kids that walk/ride their bikes by themselves to school? There is no parent supervision there. If you already called and they said its ok and its not in "the book" of school rules and regs, then just let it go. Good luck!

3 moms found this helpful

S.L.

answers from New York on

I like the idea of trying to wave at the bus driver, open the door and lean out.... so she sees you are watching from the house.

1 mom found this helpful

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S.A.

answers from Dallas on

Honestly, I really don't see why you are making such a big deal over this. It seems like you are making this WAY more dramatic than it needs to be. If the bus stop is literally in your front yard as you say, what's the big deal of stepping outside?? Is it really that big of a deal to take your son out into your yard with you? If so, then maybe there is something that needs to be addressed there.

I'm not trying to sound mean by saying that, but I really think that you are letting yourself get worked up about something that in the grand scheme of things isn't that big of a deal. I don't think that the implication from the bus driver or school district is to say that you are being a bad mother by not standing at the bus stop. I think they are just trying to ensure the highest level of safety and protection for the kids AND themselves. Could part of this be that you were a little offended and are being a tad defensive?

12 moms found this helpful
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M..

answers from Youngstown on

Seriousley? You're trying to fight the district so that you don't have to walk outside to get your kids? You make such a point to describe how close the bus stop is, so walk yourself out there and collect your children off the bus. The district just wants your kids to be safe. And I am sure if one of your kids disappeared, the district doesn't want to be sued.

And I'm sorry, but your scenerio where you get shot had no logic or reasoning to it. If someone was looking to kidnap a small girl, they would keep on driving when they saw a parent standing there and go look for the unattended girls. Don't leave a 6 & 8 year old home alone, and don't leave them unattended at the bus stop. I thought that was just parenting good sense.

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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

Maybe it's a case of CYA (Cover your a...). Possibly a driver got in trouble, reprimanded or fired for an incident involving younger children at a completely different stop. It's possible that she, personally, doesn't have an issue with it, but needs to protect herself and her job? Is it possible that maybe she was just told the rule? Maybe she didn't realize that you lived so close and saw something that alarmed her. Maybe it's a simple as she thought your daughter was a kindergartner. Perhaps she wanted to talk to you face to face, but wasn't given the opportunity since the girls go out there by themselves. There could be a million reasons she felt like she had to do this. She may have gone about it the wrong way, but it could be that she had good intentions.

8 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Kansas City on

i guess if you really dont care about their safety nothing anyone says is going to make a difference. I would not leave such young children out like that, front yard or not. It takes 2 seconds for some sicko to pull up and grab them. and, for your information, if you were out there with your children someone would be more likely to leave your kids alone then to try to take them. just get over your lazy self and go stand outside with your kids for 5 minutes. I cannot believe you are really getting all pi$$y because they want your kids to be safe and for you to follow the rules. get a grip, take care of your kids. unless you really dont care if they get snatched, raped and murdered..

7 moms found this helpful

T.N.

answers from Albany on

I agree with PS that something must've happened and the drivers probably got a meeting or memo stating it's time to start enforcing this rule.

Sorry.

:(

(Well, I don't mean something happened with YOUR kids specifically, but there must be a new issue some kid in your district of the same age is having getting off the bus without a parent present)

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M.P.

answers from Sarasota on

Honestly- get your other child dressed and walk your kids.. It only takes but a second for your child to get kidnapped and what are you going to do run out of the house then?? if its within eyesight then it shouldn't be that much of an inconvenience.
I don't think the Bus driver is being a jerk- she probably let that slide last year to be nice and got in trouble--- think of it from her perspective. A lot of bus drivers don't try to get into altercations that is why they report it -- I think that its what they are supposed to do.
There are some sickos out in this world- dont be mad, be happy that your child(ren) are being looked after.
I have a first and second grader and I take them and stay until the bus drives away then i drive to work-- better safe than sorry and we have all heard of kids being taken RIGHT at the bus stop

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K.B.

answers from Tulsa on

When I worked at a large urban school, there were two guys in a car repeatedly trying to snatch kids going to and from school. The school and police did not publish the fact and made teachers keep it a secret. They wanted to catch the guys. Maybe this woman is trying to keep her job and save your child.

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A.K.

answers from Phoenix on

OK, sorry, I usually try to stay out of combative discussions but... You're not being lazy / neglectful. It's not like you're still sound asleep and have no idea whether they made it on the bus / not. Seriously! I think that if this is a rule that can be found in the transportation / school handbook , then obviously you will follow that. If not, then as their parent , it should be at you're discretion, even if the bus stop wasn't conveniently in your yard.

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S.K.

answers from Dallas on

They may know something you don't know. Perhaps they have been warned that a child predator has moved into the area.

Go to www.familywatchdog.us. Type in your address and see who is living near you. I did it and I will tell you, I wouldn't let my kids stand on the corner by themselves. It was an eye opener. I typed in friends and family addresses too.
Edited: I just looked at this website and found more detailed info. The website is http://www.fbi.gov/scams-safety/registry.
I don't mean to scare anyone but I think we need to be aware of who is living near us to keep our kids safe. I also looked at the neighborhood near the ball fields that my son plays at because it is in a really rough area of town. I am not paranoid, just cautious.

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T.M.

answers from Tampa on

I wonder if something happened with another child somewhere in the district...Could that be why they are trying to crack down on this? If the bus driver was willing to report you, then she should be willing to talk to you and explain why she reported you. Is it something with you or your kids? Did you piss the bus driver off for some reason? Were your kids not ready at the bus stop in the morning? Did she have to wait on them? Find out why they are just now enforcing the policy before you react...

5 moms found this helpful

K.*.

answers from Los Angeles on

You let your kids walk to the bus stop, what's wrong with you...kidding! I can't believe it's an issue, because you live within an eyeshot. I would also be ticked off at the bus drivers response. If she was willing to tell you that she knarcked you off, then why in the world didn't she say something to you to avoid all of the nonsense. She could have said something like "hey, just wanted to let you know that transportation will be doing random checks at the stops for children unsupervised under 8". Good luck, take a deep breath before taking the call...chances are that you will get NO WHERE!!! Please update about the convo!

PS: Did you forget her on your Christmas list last year?

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P.S.

answers from Houston on

Something must have happened. She is either going through some work related issues or another mother complained on another street or maybe one ofyour kids misbehaved on her bus.

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M.W.

answers from San Francisco on

This type of situation really irks me...I really think that at times as a society we are being way to cautious. But many would disagree with me that you can never be too cautious when it comes to your child. I poo poo that!!

I would put some calls into the district and send a letter stating that you will be letting your first and second graders walk to the bus stop and home at the end of the day. State that it does not mention the rule in the handbook. I would state that this same bus driver allowed this situation last year, even though one was even...gasp..a kindergartener.(which is mentioned as a "no no" in the handbook) I would state that you are watching from the window and actually measure how many yards the stop is from your window and state that in your letter too. State that you are teaching your children to be aware of their surroundings but also not to be scared that there is a kidnapper or child molester behind every stinkin' bush waiting to lure them or snatch them.

Accidents happen and horrendous events occur every day. We have websites to find where the sleezy molesters live. But...I am not going to bubble wrap my kids, scare them into thinking they are only safe if M. or daddy is there or keep them from experiencing situations where they have a little(supervised...heck you are at the window..) opportunity to be independent and confident.

Stand your ground R.. State the facts. I am a free range kids mom. I read the book and loved it. We teach our kids that strangers often save peoples' lives and the creepy,sleezy strangers are few and far between. I don't teach my kids to avoid living a full life because perhaps something bad might happen. I am among very few parents who let their middle schooler ride a bike to school. ( I hear things like...Ohhhh, it is just too dangerous out there. What if something happened to them, I would never forgive myself." Bingo...it is the fear of the what ifs...that keep people from living life to its' fullest. I will not live in fear of all the what ifs. If I did then I wouldn't fly on an airplane, drive over a bridge, eat hotdogs, walk in a rainstorm, let my kids go off to a friends house, ride a rollercoaster, etc. You get my drift.)

Good luck and best wishes at raising confident and strong kids that get to have a little teensy weensy sense of freedom walking to the bus stop. (even if you are watching with your eagle eyes 25 yards away)

4 moms found this helpful

V.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

I'm on your side, and anyone who says that you don't care about your childrens safety is being ridiculous. Of course I live out in the country, 6 miles out of a very small town... So we never had to worry about that sort of thing. We played outside all by ourselves when we were 6. The cows were our only supervision. Lol. Yes, we waited for the bus by ourselves (No bus stop. It pulled into our driveway every day), and we are all still fine. Not a one of us got kidnapped.

If you live in a big city, then maybe I would worry a little more. But it sounds like you live in a nice quiet community. Watching through the window is perfectly fine.

3 moms found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Maybe you pissed in her Wheaties and didn't realize it.

I know with my kids sans kindergarten you can verbally say I allow them to walk and that is all the district requires. Of course most of the bus drivers take your absence on the bus stop to be the same as consent and make no fuss over it. We also don't have a written rule about any grade except kindergarten.

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R.S.

answers from San Antonio on

It isn't like you are not watching them...you are just watching from the comfort of your home...which believe me I would too if I could. Our district rules are any child 2nd grade or under (unless they are with a sibling) has to have a parent meet the bus. If I am not at the bus stop (the end of my driveway) they will take my child back to school.

I have however gone out of my way to make good friend's with the bus driver. He is an awesome man and really looks after the kids. One day I was trying to get home on time and "thought" I made it. But the bus came up the wrong way on our street. He knew they run was early and so he took the next stop to their house and circled back around to see if I was home yet before returning my son to school. Super nice!!

I think the rule does seem a bit extreme and maybe for some reason the bus driver doesn't like you or your girls?? It is weird to me that the bus driver would suddenly report you.

I am with you if it is a rule then by all means follow it...but if it isn't then there should be no problem. unless the bus driver makes it one.

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C.W.

answers from Shreveport on

I'm surprised at the number of people saying you should be out there when you can clearly see them from your window.
When the kids caught the bus right across from my house I stayed in the carport and rarely went to the actual bus stop. Now the bus stop has moved to the end of our road so I take them down there in the mornings. But in the afternoons they walk their happy behinds home by themselves. They have been doing this for a couple of years now. Guess what no one has tried to grab them, no one has tried to run them over, they don't screw around or misbehave and shock of shocks the school/bus driver has no issues with this. Matter of fact most kids don't have parents around when they are getting on or off the bus. I only know a handful of parents who are able to supervise their kids at the bus stops. Most are either dealing with younger siblings at the house or working.
I don't see an issue with how you are supervising your kids at the bus stop.
Not sure why so many people on here are upset over it. We all do things that work for ourselves. Just like our own parents/guardians did as we were growing up.

2 moms found this helpful

C.P.

answers from Columbia on

I agree. This is completely retarded. I'd continue to do it just as you have always done. The burden of proof is NOT on you, it's on them.

And to all those saying that the kids could be kidnapped...you kids have a better chance of being struck by lightning. Are you going to take away their umbrellas? A better chance of being killed by riding in YOUR car. Are you going to keep them home?

The world is NOT more dangerous than it was when we were kids. Do your research. I have. The media coverage is, however, FAR worse.

2 moms found this helpful

J.S.

answers from Hartford on

I always wait with my girls and pick them up from the bus. Even when my eldest was in fifth grade. So that she doesn't have to walk two streets over, she gets driven in and picked up from middle school now.

Any risk to their safety is too much. It's not just kidnapping, which is too high for my liking. It's also the fact that during the times the girls are picked up and dropped off, the street is very busy. The kids could very easily fall into the road, and I've seen cars jump curbs in order to avoid parked cars on the other side of the street while passing other cars.

When my younger daughters were babies I let them stay in their crib or bassinet while I got the older one on the bus. The needs of the older one for those few minutes were more important and we just worked it into the routine. Not a big deal.

Why does it have to be explicitly stated as a rule? Your kids' bus driver cares about their safety. You ought to be grateful for that. Instead you're acting like it's a hassle to get your kids on the bus.

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K.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Call the bus company too, they often are independent and contracted out to the district so they may have different standards and procedures.

1 mom found this helpful
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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Our district has the rule for Kindergarteners, too. They won't let them off the bus at all if there's no O. there to meet them. They take them back to the school.
After K, it's up to the parent's discretion.
I, too, have started letting my son get off the bus by himself (he's just started 3rd) and halfway thru last year he declared it was "uncool" for me or my husband to go to the bus stop.
Like you, we can see the stop from our front porch, so we watch him from there.
I do still go in the morning--all the kids, even 4th graders, have a parent there.

Still--your situation. I would be ticked off because it sounds like you're being targeted for some reason. The "POLICY" should be a published and accessible policy.

Good luck.

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R.C.

answers from Chicago on

I moved last year a small town right next to a larger city. In our town kids Kindergarten and up walk EVERYWHERE! Took a bit to get used to, but I like it now. Get this, we don't have busses, we have sidewalks! Kids are expected to walk to and from school, and they can walk home for lunch. At 3:10, they all just pour out the door and you can either be waiting or they can just walk home. So different from our last school where we were too close to get bus service, but they would only release the kid to a parent. My neighbor had an arguement with them over his 4th grade son, they wouldn't let him just walk home (about 1/4 mile). So, my neighbor said, then let him ride the bus, they said, but he's a walker, and my neighbor said, then let him walk, went on and on......
I think it is so important to teach our kids independence (you can always sneakily check on them or follow them if needed). Good for you for standing up to the bus driver, just smooth it over now so she doesn't take it out on your girls.

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M.B.

answers from Washington DC on

I'm late to this, however... just because YOU are able to see them from the window, does not guarantee to the bus driver can see you, or even knows you are home!

This does not have anything to do with abductions, bad behavior or anything like that. It has to do with knowing that a parent will be there to get their child. So what if it is your house? That does not guarantee you are home. What if you went out for errands earlier in the day and got into an accident? The bus driver would drop off your kids under the assumption that you are always home. YOU NEVER KNOW!

ALWAYS err on the side of your kid's safety.

I'm not saying you are lazy or don't care... I'm just saying that there's a GOOD reason the bus driver is concerned.

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C.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

I think the bus driver is wrong. If you can see your kids and they are not in danger. I dont understand why she reported you. She is wrong. I would be polite to her. Resolve it with the bus company explain your side. I am sure the bus company will agree with you.

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M.M.

answers from Washington DC on

Take it up with her supervisors and tell them the rule book says Kindergarten not 1st graders.
I also see why they are cracking down, kids do get taken from the busstops. But they are being overprotective. It's not like you live here where the only thing between them is 1/2 mile of winding wooded road with 4 houses and a creep in one of them.
It may be a decree form the school board itself.

1 mom found this helpful

J.I.

answers from San Antonio on

Something must've pissed off the bus driver for her to report you this year and not last year. If you're not worried about a ticket or a fine or whatever, then I'd ignore it. Obviously the bus driver has an issue and noone else seems worried about it. The rules are 1st and up are okay alone and you are following the rules. You actually ARE watching the girls, just from afar. As long as you feel safe with them there, I say keep with it. Me - I would be nervous about leaving my girls there. Little girls are targeted more than little boys. It only takes one second for someone to pull up and grab them, all while you are getting another cup of coffee, or while you turn to tell your son to stop climbing on something. I'm not judging. You know your neighborhood. I'm sure you've taught your girls about stranger danger. I'd ignore the bus driver and consider eating this years christmas cookies myself instead of sharing with her.

Added: Here in Texas, that's why some moms carry a loaded gun with them!

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M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

That makes no sense. My kids always have someone at the bus stop with them (8 and 6 - 3rd and 1st grade) because we live 5 houses away and there are way too many other people there, plus they have to cross a road twice. And I'm just paranoid :). But yesterday the new nanny couldn't get my 4 year old to calm down to walk to the bus stop so she missed it. The bus drive let the kids off anyways, once another mom looked down and saw the nanny's car in the driveway. I think you should be able to watch your girls if you are comfortable with that. Maybe the bus driver had someone else throw her under the bus (hehe) and so now she is being a stickler to EVERYONE.

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G.H.

answers from Chicago on

well i guess until they can 'prove' to you that this is the district policy & is in the rule book, you are free from going to the bus stop.....it's on them to provide this to you

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D.S.

answers from Kansas City on

I'm a little confused: the bus stop is your front yard, but when it's raining, you get all three kids in the car to drive them there. How far away is it for real?

If it's really farther, maybe the bus driver truly doesn't know which house is yours and that you are home. Maybe you can see them but she (and they) can't see you.

Perhaps last year she let it slide b/c one kid kinda trots straight home. Two kids might screw around after getting off the bus; maybe head in the wrong direction for a moment as they play; not be paying attention when they are near the road as they are busy with each other. Even innocent chatter on the bus makes her think there is a chance you are not home or maybe not realize the bus has come (like changing li'l bro's diaper or still be in nap time) so she can't be sure either. After all, if she dropped them off and you didn't know it, she'd feel terrible.

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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

Do you have a really large front yard? If not can't you just wave to the bus driver from your front door so she knows you are watching your kids?

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F.O.

answers from Los Angeles on

It's a shame like all questions posted the judgmental know-it-alls draw you into defending what you're right about.

This isn't about behavior, abduction,

it is about the fact you are not violating transportation policy

it is about you the mom being comfortable watching your children from the window board and exit the bus

this is about a meddling bus driver who should have spoken with you first and given you the opportunity to stand your ground according to the fact you
are not violating policy.

Sometimes you're better off designating your question to people who have experienced your issues to avoid the blabber mouths.

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L.U.

answers from Seattle on

In our school the kids must be in 3rd grade or higher and then the parents don't have to accompany their kids. Maybe she let it go last year and this year she doesn't want to. My son's bus stop was right in front of our house too last year and I would stand in the garage with my son (he was 2nd grader last year) and then when we heard the bus he would run up to the street for the bus. Can you do that?
L.

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M.T.

answers from New York on

The issue isn't whether we all agree with you on letting the kids wait for the bus themselves, it's about the fact that you were reported and received a phone call about violating a rule that does not exist in accordance with the transportation manual. I would not take this up with the bus driver, I'd keep the communication to the transportation director, and I'd also drop an email to the superintendant of schools. If they have updated/amended their policies but not updated the manual, then they need to inform the parents of the policy and get the manual updated.
I suspect the school district's concern isn't so much about predators. There are actually MORE abuctions nowadays, and many of them stem from custody issues. But honestly, I believe their concern is whether young children are being left at home alone before/after school while their parents are at work.
I don't believe the bus driver is targeting you or ticked off with you, and I don't think you should be angry with her. She is doing her job. She works for the transportation department and is following the rules that they have given her. Apparently, they are cracking down on this policy at this time, for whatever reason. The issue at hand is the fact that this "rule" is nowhere in the parent manual.

G.T.

answers from Redding on

Nice. Can't wait to hear your convo with Ms Busdriver on Monday ;)

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R.C.

answers from Boston on

I hope you get clarification in your phone call to the company. In our district the rules are made by the company and our drivers are told to always tell parents to call the company. Sometimes there is a change to enforce rules that the company had let slide before and the drivers are told to report in the new year. Sometimes there is a misunderstanding. I'm hoping this is not personal and that you have a pleasant year. Please let us know what happend.

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

IF it is not in the rule book, stand your ground.

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