Does Anyone Have Social Anxiety?

Updated on December 01, 2017
S.C. asks from Houston, TX
13 answers

I recently started having social anxiety and had to skip a few birthday parties for my Lo. I start worrying ahead of time and when im during the social occasion i start sweating i talk silly and go through a bunch of other anxiety symptoms. Anyone has any advice how to face a certain occasion? And how to overcome this issue without therapy or medication? It's negatively affecting my life in so many ways. Please help!

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N.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Well, therapy will help you get to the reason you started doing this. The core reason.

Medication will make it easier to live life while you're going through the trauma that caused you to start having anxiety. Then when you're finished working through the trauma or issue you can wean off the medication and you'll be back to normal.

More Answers

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I'm not sure why you're against therapy (?) but that's what really helped my daughter.
Why not at least try it?
It makes me sad when people won't look for professional medical help when they need it. Sad especially for parents because then their children suffer too.

4 moms found this helpful
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E.B.

answers from Honolulu on

A therapist has many tools to help with anxiety, panic, etc. There are many possible solutions, and they don't necessarily have to include medication.

Now, if you're asking how to deal with anxiety because you don't have insurance or access to health care, or money to pay for therapy, that's another issue.

Look online for "mental health" in your area. If you're actually in Houston, there will probably be many options that don't require insurance, or that cost very little. Just google free mental health care in Houston or something similar, and start making calls.

If your anxiety is to the point where you're avoiding your children's activities, then it's really important that you get some help.

3 moms found this helpful
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M.G.

answers from Portland on

There are a lot of sites and even programs that can help you - however, the key is - once you're missing things due to the anxiety, that's the sign you're supposed to reach out for help (professional). So that would be my advice.

My daughter experienced some anxiety - and we did a program and I went to some sessions too to help her. It was a combination of coming up with a plan and also some coping techniques. So the plan involved - "What's the worst/more probable/most likely to happen?" scenarios - and we'd go through these before an event. So we'd come up with a plan for the worst case scenario. It never turned out to be the worst. In fact, it always was better than the most likely.

The coping techniques were mostly centered around breathing - to calm yourself to take the focus off everything else. I assume that would work for you so that you wouldn't be focussed on other people. Remember they couldn't care less about you - they are focussed on themselves and their children (if that helps).

A therapist can really help you with this. Meds are mostly to calm you - but you can try the coping techniques first. That's what they usually advise I think.

Best to you. Remember - the key is to not keep avoiding - it makes it worse as I'm sure you've realized.

Keep us posted :)

2 moms found this helpful
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D..

answers from Miami on

Well, if you aren't willing to reach out to a doctor for help, you're just going to have this issue over and over. Why aren't you willing to get help? You're missing out on normalcy in life.

For your child's sake, if not for your own, you should...

2 moms found this helpful
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G.♣.

answers from Springfield on

Why not try therapy and be open to the possibility of medication? I mean, why not, if it gives you a better quality of life?

I understand people not wanting to turn to medicine for everything, but medicine can be amazing! It can really enhance your quality of life.

I have a son on the Autism Spectrum. He goes to therapy, and he has been on medication before and we are definitely open to medication in the future ... if that's what's in his best interest.

1 mom found this helpful
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N.K.

answers from Miami on

Nothing wrong with sweating or talking silly, it happens to everyone, even public speakers and political figures. You're not the only person to go through that. I get somewhat nervous when I speak to certain people I'm not familiar with, sometimes I may trip over a word or two, but it diminishes as I spend more time with the person and start feeling comfortable. All people are anxious to some degree, worried about what others may think etc.

You don't have to be a social butterfly, I am not. I am very introverted and very much a loner, but at the same time, I force myself to get out of my comfort zone on occasion, especially if it's something that can affect my daughter -- I don't want to ruin her fun by making her stay home because I don't know anyone at a party. I sometimes end up being a sideliner, watching everything and barely muttering a greeting and that is okay, or I find someone I click with and end up spending the evening chatting with that person.

Don't be too hard on yourself if you weren't able to find anyone you clicked with. We all have those days, just don't give up and don't be so hard on yourself. Do realize that a lot of people are feeling the same way as you and cannot be bothered to realize if you're sweating or stuttering -- they probably are doing the same thing and in their own little world fretting over that. As soon as you start feeling more secure and less conscious, you'll be able to relax more and just go with the flow. Believe it or not, most therapists believe in exposure therapy, which means gradually facing your fears, so they'd probably advise you to do something similar to what I advised.

1 mom found this helpful
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T.P.

answers from Indianapolis on

S. you need to realize that you need help. The only way you will get better is with treatment. A therapist will help you learn how to handle yourself in social situations. They may also prescribe meds for you. There is nothing wrong with seeking therapy or taking meds to help you. You are a mom and a wife so you have to take care of you just like you take care of your family. Ask your doctor to recommend help for you. Ignoring the problem or seeking non medical answers will only make things worse for you. I hope you will seek the help you need. Good luck!!

1 mom found this helpful

A.W.

answers from Kalamazoo on

Just go see your doc, it's not a big deal. LOTS of people deal with anxiety at some part of their life. If it's only affecting you at these specific times, you can probably get something that you only take "as needed" to calm you down, versus taking something all the time. Take a pill, calms you down, you go to the event, enjoy yourself and gradually like another person said, the exposure of it will help you. :)

1 mom found this helpful
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J.K.

answers from Wausau on

People with social anxiety who can still make themselves go out and be social - no regular skipping of events - can often overcome it with the self-exposure to the thing that causes stress.

If you're not able to make yourself do things, host things, get out in public, etc. then you will need to see a therapist because the longer you allow it to happen, the harder it will be to repair. It will become a negative influence in your child's life, because a parent's issues spill over onto kids and will impact their own social development.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.G.

answers from Houston on

Hello,
What you are experiencing can be temporary;however, speaking with a medical professional is advisable. Also, a mental health professional can be very helpful. We have been successful in assisting persons in this area and offer discounted rates if you don’t have insurance or if not covered by insurance. If you want to find out more, feel free to send me a text for a call back and free consult. ###-###-#### Thanks

T.D.

answers from Springfield on

when its for the kids, i just hide in the corner, lend a hand to the hostess if she seems to be overwhelmed, but mostly i just talk to the one other mom i am friends with. or i play with the kids making sure they are having fun.

you could also talk to a therapist about your specific anxiety and its triggers and what to do about them. every one is different and a trained professional should be able to talk you thru things without meds.

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

I suppose I might have a mild form of it.
I don't like crowds but it doesn't keep me from going to parties.

When I was younger crowds didn't bother me.
But then I was caught in a riot at a football game (80,000 people) where a 20 game losing streak was broken (I was working clean up crew at the stadium).
Mounted police came onto the field to escort the players off the field when it ended and they let the crowd go wild.
I saw a guy run out onto the field, whip out a knife and cut himself a piece of the astro turf.
They peeled up half the field.
The ripped aluminum seats out of the concrete.
They climbed up the goal posts and unscrewed them from the ground - passed them by hand crowd surfing style up and out of the stadium and danced with them in the parking lot for hours - police finally cleared them out around 3am.
Our supervisor let us into the broom room one at a time.
She was afraid the drunks would get a hold of the brooms at start beating up each other - she'd seen it happen before.
I've just never felt the same about crowds after that.
Now I keep to the edges if I can't avoid them and look for where the exits are.
Our sons graduation ceremony was crowded enough that it got me a bit nervous.

If the lead up to the party is winding you up - then try not to think about it till the last minute.
Don't drink any alcohol - get a soda or a cider and sip it slowly.
Nibble finger foods.
Talk about weather, traffic and cookie/h'orderve recipes - they are universal safe subjects.
Really listening is more important than talking.
Ask short general questions about what someone is talking to you about.
You don't have to stay long - just pop in for a short while then thank the host/hostess and make your exit.
Give yourself something to look forward to afterward.
I like watching a favorite movie on dvd after I get home - it's a little reward for myself to enjoy and relax.

Why are you oppose to therapy and/or medication?
If it's getting worse - it might save you a lot of time, worry and sweating to grab the bull by the horns and deal with it in a doctors office.
It's a matter of you controlling it rather than it controlling you.

Next question: Should I Take Medicine for My Anxiety