Does Anybody Have "Easy" Children?

Updated on March 28, 2011
A.K. asks from Kingwood, TX
55 answers

Sometimes I will hear people say "Yes my little Johnny, he was such an easy child" Is this just rose tinted memory glasses, or do some people actually have "easy" children.
I have been blessed with what I think are the most difficult children, loud, boisterous, sometimes violent, won't go to bed, won't get out of bed, won't get in the bath, won't get out of the bath. My son gets into trouble at school almost every day, headmaster once a week. My daughter hits at mothers morning out, and is generally whiny and hard work.
My kids are 8 and 3, and I hope they get easier! I know I am BLESSED that they are healthy, and both very intelligent, but wow, life is generally a difficult struggle with the two of them.

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So What Happened?

Ah yes, I forgot about the dreaded supermarket trips. I see some kids just sitting there contentedly in the cart, while mine are either escaping and running off, or doing the "canihave's" grabbing stuff off the shelves and being generally loud, arguing amongst themselves etc.
And I am a strict disciplinarian, I spank, a lot, and I have to keep a firm rein on both my kids 24/7, so I don't believe it is a lack of discipline - I blame it mostly on their dad LOL!

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M.M.

answers from Dallas on

No rose colored glasses here. My kids, boys 10 & 13, are super easy, always have been. I always tell them I think they will pay me back and be rotten teenagers since they have been so easy up 'til now :)

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

I think they all have their difficult moments from time to time, but my son's been very easy especially when compare to some of the other kids I see around.
The more I see of other peoples kids, the more I'm grateful they are not mine.

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S.P.

answers from Philadelphia on

I think if each of my 3 children were an only child they would be an easy child, but all together, they are monsters! They feed off each other's energy it seems. As babies, they were all pretty "easy." Eat, sleep, poop and around that goes, but as toddlers and children they are all different and difficult and lovable and fun and silly and monsterous at the same time!

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K.U.

answers from Detroit on

My DD is 3.5 and since she was born, she's been easy in some ways and more challenging in other ways. She slept through the night at 2 months old and has never had a problem falling asleep and staying in her own bed. No colic, no major health issues, no problems taking a bath. She's always been a busy-body, very active and into everything, yet not destructive in any way. On the other hand, now she is being as stubborn as a mule and is refusing to have anything to do with potty training. She is generally well-behaved in public, is doing great in preschool, and has good manners with friends and other adults, very friendly and sociable, but at home she's been whiny, demanding, bossy and in general driving me up a wall. Her personality is wonderful, but the "terrible 3's" have hit full-force and her behavior wears me out many days. "Laid back" is NOT in her vocabulary! My cousin told me that she is really really smart, but she is also way more strong-willed than her 2 children ever were. I can only hope that by being firm and consistent with the discipline, she will get easier to deal with and more cooperative as time goes on. And that her stubbornness will turn into a good thing. I don't have any other experience raising small children other than my own DD, so I don't have anything else to compare to.

On a side note, if you are finding your kids that difficult to deal with, it doesn't seem to me that all that spanking is working - if Dad is the problem, maybe it's time to work on Dad? If this is how your son is at 8, especially getting in trouble at school, I don't see it getting better unless something really changes in a big way, in regards to how you guys handle him.

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P.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Yeah, my daughter was really easy, and my youngest son isn't bad.

NONE of my kids EVER got into trouble at school. My oldest was just needy, not bad.

Some kids are definitely more difficult, and I don't mean to sound judgmental, but when kids get into that much trouble, especially at school, there is something in your parenting that could be changed. Hope you take that comment constructively.

Kids that are getting into trouble at school almost every day rarely get easier when they are teens.

Just read your What Happened -- and I think the problem is that you're a strict disciplinarian. Stop all the spanking, for starters.

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E.B.

answers from New York on

Yes, there are people who have easy children... they are part of a group called Liars.

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

Tawnya is correct.. God knew I could not handle much because our child was pretty darn good and easy to figure out.

I would follow her lead and personality. I knew what made her tick and used that to my advantage. But I also knew she was just way more advanced on a lot of levels way early so I set high expectations for her.

Do not get me wrong. I felt like she was late potty training, but she refused until she was 4. She did not suffer fools at an early age and sometimes "refused to play with children that could not follow the rules". She whined until we thought our ears would bleed. And boy does she have a temper. Always has. So we has to help her" learn her words early" so that she could express exactly what her feelings were ("my feelings are hurting" "my feelings are frustrated") otherwise it was hard to calm her down.

And she has never been a risk taker, which is good in a way, but we think she needed and still needs to take some risk and be willing to fail and not take it as a blemish on her in some way..

She is in college and is still a great kid.. She will be 21 and sent us an email asking what should be her first alcoholic drink? She "has been researching cocktails so she is not disappointed."

We have no idea where she came from.. My husband likes to say, "we set an example for her, and example of how not to turn out! "
We keep waiting for the bottom to fall out.. Yikes..

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A.G.

answers from Pocatello on

Well don't get my wrong my children are not perfect but I do feel that for the most part yes they are easy children. My first was a hard infant but once she hit 1 she started getting better and has continued that way. My second was an easy infant...like never cried, happy all the time etc. They are 4 and 2 now and I am 35 weeks pregnant so we will see how #3 turns out lol. But like I said they are just pretty easy. They are good at the stores (most of the time) when we go out to eat they're great. They never give me a hard time with bath, bed or getting ready in the morning. They don't fight with other kids very often or with each other, they share well and my 4 year old's preschool teach says she can't believe how well behaved my daughter is. So yes I really feel I have good kids. But maybe I got blessed cause my hubby is in Iraq and the Lord new I needed good kids or I'd never make it out alive! LOL

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T.M.

answers from Reading on

I always tell people..."God knew what He was doing when He gave me these children, because if they were difficult I think I'd lose my mind!" I have very easy kids. They let me sleep in this morning until 9:00 am, went to bed no problem last night, eat great meals and generally listen when I speak to them or tell them to do something. Pretty much when we go out they behave like perfect angels. I rarely go out and don't get complimented on how well behaved my children are. So yes, honestly I think I have "easy" kids. To God be the Glory! BTW they are 3, almost 5 and 6.
Best wishes to you and yours, I hope you get a break soon.

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Y.D.

answers from Dallas on

My son is what I would consider easy. No eating, sleeping, school, or behavior problems. He gets along with anybody and I pray he stays that way as he is only 5. Now, my daughter is making me go gray! She is almost 7 and has been giving me and my hubby problems since she was 1. I always tease my husband that my son has my personality and our daughter has his, and that's why she is so stubborn. He knows it's true! I guess I am blessed to have one good one though, although I often think about how she will be when she is a teenager.

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M.L.

answers from Houston on

My oldest was soooooo easy. My mom told me that if I had more, they would not be so easy so soak up every moment!
She was like a miniature adult, just sooooo simple in every way. Thank God! Because I was a single mom with her!
My second came along. Colic, wouldn't take a bottle when I went back to work, peed on the floor to resist potty training. Well, I'll sum it up. You know those AWFUL kids on super nanny, yeah, that's her. She'll sit for hours in time out sometimes. But, she is also the SWEETEST kid in the world. Don't ask me how, but she has the biggest heart.
Our third is a mix of both. He is so easy in most ways, but extremely difficult in some ways.
So, now, I just soak up the easy times, and breathe heavy through the difficult ones.
Times have gotten better with the second one as she grows and matures. Being a big sister has helped her also because we're constantly reminding her to set good examples for her little brother. ;)

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M.V.

answers from New York on

I guess it depends on your definition of easy! I think so much of it depends on your attitude. When I had my daughter (almost 20 years ago) I really knew nothing about babies...it was definitely a "learn as you go" situation. I held her. ALOT. She was colicky, so dealt with it as best I could. She didn't smile for months. She gained weight very slowly. I learned to do most things with one hand because she was always in my arms. I learned through instinct how to love her and take care of her. I guess other people would have called her a "difficult" baby, but I didn't know any other babies so I thought she was perfectly normal - lol. We got through it together. By the time my son came along, 4 years later, everything seemed easier. But I think part of that came from the fact that I was a much more relaxed and confident mother by then. Oh, and he had colic, too! They may not have been the "easiest" babies by most people's definition, but they both certainly have been easy children ever since, and I think alot of that has to do with me and my own attitude. It also helps a ton if you and your hubby are on the same page regarding how to raise them. If you are not, they can get very good at playing you off against one another to get their way - just a thought. Good luck...this, too, shall pass!

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A.D.

answers from Washington DC on

DVMmom, my DD sounds just like yours...she was such an easy baby...but a much more challenging, very independent and strong willed preschooler! My DS has been a very challenging baby...not a good eater, sleeper, self soother, very irritable, clingy, bitey, scratchy, tantrums...but my sweet little snuggle bug too. We'll see how his preschool days go! He's 15 months now. I, for one, feel lucky to have experienced both!

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A.G.

answers from Houston on

I have. My first daughter was so easy. She still is. She never cried as a baby, threw tantrums or fits, she never talks back or lies to me.Never got sick, never a cavity, never a fight or ethical issue. She eats what i serve her and goes to bed when i tell her too, makes strait a's, likes homework. Has a sweet disposition and ive never had to struggle with her milestones because they were always on time and effortless.

Im not even kidding, she even sat still during movies,in the shopping cart, at restaurants, long car rides, and even for nail trimming and hair cutting.

Now my second daughter on the other hand, ....lol

i just had to implement time out 2 days ago, she hits, and screams, throws tantrums and never eats her food.But she sure is funny and smart.I love them the same, but my youngest will be a little more work, i know it for sure. She will probably test me for most of her life- then settle down, and my oldest will be very close to me always i think.

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C.B.

answers from Kansas City on

i have an "easy" child - always have...and i am spoiled! it is hard not to take at least some credit. i am h*** o* him and expect good behavior - and i was blessed with a wonderful support system. but let's get real - some kids are just harder than others. don't get me wrong - we have had some phases that were extremely trying. but he gets over them after a few weeks, and then life goes on. he's never been one to constantly cause problems and misbehave. (i blame these phases on growth spurts - they have happened at 2, 3 and 4 years of age, almost on his birthdays) yet another reason i am not real gung ho to run out and get pregnant again! who could be so lucky twice :)

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L.!.

answers from Austin on

We have generally happy, well-behaved children. However, I devote a lot of effort to nutrition and home-cooked meals. I really think a lot of difficult children are reacting to sugar highs and poor diets--overly processed foods made with lots of food coloring, high fructose corn syrup/sugar, white flour and fat.

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J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think my girl (2 y/o) is pretty easy. I only say/think this because other parents have told me that.
She never really cried as a newborn/infant. She has never been a pain to take out anywhere...grocery stores, restaraunts, nail salons, etc (I also traveled a lot with her the first 8 months...so maybe that helped?). Shes always liked baths, never cried while washing her hair, or rinsing it. Goes to bed when I tell her too. She's loud, but is learning inside voices. When she falls and gets hurt, she's pretty tough and shakes it off (her cousin is overly dramatic with little boo-boo's). She's extremely easy to please. Friendly to others, loves playing with other kids. She will willingly go into timeout, when she actually needs to. She's been in a toddler bed, with no problems what-so-ever since she was 1 year.The list could go on.
To me I just thought she was normal, and all babies were like her. When other mothers see her interact and ask me questions they are the ones who tell me she's "easy." More importantly I asked why they think she's an easy baby/toddler. When other parents would tell me stories I realized why they thought that way. Of course she has her moments (last Christmas at my SO's Aunts house was one of them). I guess the biggest difficulty we had with her was she rarely slept in her crib (mostly due to the traveling).
Of course I don't expect any of this to last which is ok...but if it did awesome!

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E.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

.

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A.C.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Yes, and No!
Child 1 was the easiest baby. Of course, he was an only child at the time, but he really was so pleasant and easy to please. He is a fairly easy kid but we definitely have our challenges. He pouts, he doesn't always follow directions, he often does the bare minimum to skate by. However he is generally well-behaved and polite and does what I ask most of the time.
Child 2 was the hardest baby. She cried all the time and hated to be held. She exhausted me until she turned about 1. She is almost 6 now and is a verrrry easy child. Unnaturally easy. She is like an adult in disguise. She will clean the kitchen (to my standards) as a surprise for me, she has always changed her baby sis' diaper and gotten her dressed for the last 2 years just to be nice, etc. I hardly ever have issues with her because she is just very helpful.
Child #3 is my hardest. She is very willfull and likes to push our buttons. She is the most rambunctious of the 3.
I am lucky; they are pretty easy, I think. Not that being a mom is easy because it is so demanding, but they behave pretty well. We have gone through a few spells, though (like when the 2 older ones were 2 and 4) where they were into everything- sneaking around at night, getting into cupboards, spilling bags of sugar all over, emptying juice on the carpet, painting the couch with butter, throwing poop on the ceiling... that was a BAD few months!)

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L.L.

answers from New York on

You may want to cut the spanking...I was doing that as a form of discipline with my 3.5 year old but it only made his behavior worse. It's like throwing fuel on the fire. I was spanked growing up, but I think it made me fear my parents in ways I don't ever want my children to fear me.
I am usually pretty tight-lipped on how others choose to discipline their children, but wanted to throw in my experiences with that particular method. Instead of spanking, he gets time in his room while I cool down, and then we talk about what happened and other forms of discipline, such as taking priveleges away, etc.
Good luck. And BTW, no child is "easy." Parents forget that yes, maybe they are easy NOW, but we've got a lifetime to go with these little guys. :)

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L.W.

answers from Cincinnati on

my friend has an easy child...I however (who am very easy going) do not..I have a drama queen child who has been a battle since day 1(with an occasional easy week)...
I hate hearing "oh Johnny is such a great sleeper..I never had to train ANYTHING" when anything I read that is bad...it happens to my kid...

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J.C.

answers from Columbus on

My first and fourth are both 'easy' children. My first was SUCH an easy baby, that I began to wonder WHY people complained and thought having babies was so much work...and then my second was born and put me on my place, lol!!

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V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

Some children are definitely easier than others. Doesn't mean they don't have their own special brand of challenges for us, either now or still to come. But some are definitely easier early on. My son... our first,.... I thought HOW will I EVER manage two of these?!! (and he was "sleeping thru the night" by about 3 months... even so.. he was VERY independent and I could not turn my back for ONE SECOND once he was mobile... from about 6 months on...). He's 12 now and can be the most kind-hearted soul. Makes me melt, often. But he must be reminded 20 times to get anything done, usually. And the moody pre-teen hormones are kicking in.... ugh.

Our daughter, was sleeping through the night at 7 weeks, gave up her paci's on her 2nd birthday for a handful of cake topper toys from the bakery (she was already in training pants too), and just has been a joy from the get go. Tell her no, and she doesn't do whatever it is... tell her TO, and it is done without reminders. She is 9 now, and she has her own set of challenges for us parents. One being that she is VERY opinionated and self-assured (though a little shy around folks she isn't comfortable with yet) and is a "tom-boy" who absolutely wants NOTHING to do with a dress. Not usually a big deal, but she plays piano, and it is sort of a requirement for recitals and such. lol
I can already see she will be a handful of fire-crackers as a teen.
Can't wait.

Good luck. :)

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E.C.

answers from San Francisco on

IMO it depends a lot on how the person defines "easy" - personally I find it's healthier for me to view each child as unique with different strengths and challenges because comparing their "easiness" to someone else's kids is often a recipe for feeling like I've done something wrong as a parent or feeling judgmental about another parent. And I've found that both my kids have gone through stages that might have seemed "easy" or "hard" but in hindsight weren't all they seemed (for example, one of my girls was easily overstimulated and fussy as an infant - in hindsight we can see it was most likely that she's always been quite observant and, as we say now, her "data acquisition programming" was often a step ahead of her "data processing programming" and she'd have I'm-overwhelmed meltdowns until her processing caught up.)

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A.S.

answers from Spokane on

I'm in a similar boat as you with my 4 little angles. Very smart, very boisterous, very loud, very opinionated, etc. (Their latest escapade was knocking our cart over at the grocery. I really wanted to hide that day but instead got to chase bouncing rolling produce. Sigh...)

I would have to say, that yes, there are "easy" children simply because of their temperaments. My youngest daughter is very "easy". She rarely talks back, she helps out the most, is very quiet (unless her ire is raised and then watch out; her screech can wake the dead and rivals a banshee), very delicate, etc. She does have her moments, but most days she's great to be around and I'm thankful I've got one "easy" one because I need all of my wits & energy to deal with my other three. In fact, during vacations when the kids are off to spend time with far flung family (such as during spring break or summer holiday) all of my family members request her first. LOL

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D.M.

answers from Denver on

I agree - it's all relative. Raising kids is the hardest responsibility and the most important so it's not easy all the time... we all have our moments. Mine are pretty spirited at 3 and 4... and I hope that as they get older that strong willed nature is what keeps them strong... there must be an upside right??? great question...

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B..

answers from Dallas on

So far...an it hasn't been long, yet...my son is VERY easy. He is only 22 months, so time will tell. He is a great eater, fun, easy going, sleeps, listens remarkably well, and we never ever have to worry about taking him out. I can grocery shop forever and he's happy to be there. I know I was an easy kid, even a teenager. I didn't get into trouble, didn't argue, respected rules, loved church...I had a sister who was really difficult and just seemed miserable. I didn't want to be like that.

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T.B.

answers from Miami on

Every age has its easy and difficult times. And every child is different, mostly because of temperament/personality. My second daughter is my difficult child. She is rebellious, opinionated, strong headed (stubborn), strong willed, hard-headed, mouthy. Did I mention she is only 8 years old??? My first born has her moments (she's 11). My 4 year old has his moments...but he is by far the easiest. His personality is so easily matched with mine. And I'm pregnant with the 4th. God help me.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I think that's an oxymoron! LOL
Perhaps time fades true memories?

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C.W.

answers from Lynchburg on

Hi allison-

I would have to say that each of my children presented different 'challenges'....but overall, we managed to 'work thru' them!

I think I have 'blocked' out some of the sleepless nights and challenges from when I had at least 2 or three in diapers at once, but now that they are all 14 and older, I can honestly say I really LIKE the people they have become (goes without saying that I 'love' them!! But to LIKE them as well is VERY blessed! lol)

Challenges still present themselves...but we see our way thru them!!

Hang In!!
Michele/cat

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A.S.

answers from Iowa City on

So far both my girls are "easy" (that sounds terrible...lol) but we haven't reached the teenage years yet.

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I was spanked as a kid and it was NEVER effective. I knew it would only hurt for a few minutes and usually whatever I was doing wrong was worth those few minutes of pain!
Obviously spanking is not working if your children are acting like you say they are. Of course your daughter hits, children model what they learn, so why are you surprised she does it? Also I would be VERY concerned about your 8 year old getting in trouble every day at school, that's really young to already have defiance/anger issues.
I hope you can find your way out of this cycle and learn how to enjoy your children more. I have two teens and a preteen and I can tell you it does NOT get easier, it gets a lot harder, and the consequences of their behavior are much more serious. There was never any spanking in this house (though there were the occasional slaps and plenty of yelling) and while my kids are far from perfect they know how to act in public and at school. PLEASE consider what I'm saying, I really feel for you and your family.

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Y.C.

answers from New York on

I guess my kids are easy depending to who I compare them, lol.
Yes, some kids can be easier then others, my little sister was the easier one I have see, she barely cried, super friendly, never really got in trouble, not a hitter or loud, etc. My mom use to joke that she was so good because she was her last egg (she had my sister just before she hit menopause) and that is why she was a very mature one, lol.
But now that she is a teen (15 years old) she is driving my mom nuts, lol.
I try to don't compare my kids to others (some times is hard when you see that little angle in the shopping cart and you turn around and you see that yours just took everything out of you wallet, and throw everything in aisle 10!) but we really don't know if the kid is sick, or have a problem, or indeed are that darn good.

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A.G.

answers from Dallas on

I love Elli's response!

Our oldest is 13, and he has always been exceptionally easy. We keep waiting for him to hit a difficult age, and really thought that by 13 he would have at least hit a speed bump or two, but he is very laid back (calm, happy, easy to talk to, gets excellent grades, etc.). Others call our youngest easy too because he is very well behaved, but he is very emotional. He puts a lot of pressure on himself, and that takes more managing on our part. He's almost 7, and is extremely creative. I would still say he's a pretty easy child, but because he's so h*** o* himself and gets so stressed out about little things I don't think of him as being as easy as our oldest. They are both very well behaved, get along well together, and are easy to please. I feel very blessed.

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

I think 'easy' is a matter of perspective, and sometimes even hindsight perspective. "Easier" would be a more appropriate word, though.

After 15+ years of working with very young children, I had my son. My son had his issues as a baby-- he spit up A LOT and was pretty fussy with some tummy upsets. Other than that, I'd say that comparatively, he was a relatively easy baby. I was able to take a shower every day, got enough sleep to function passably during the day. My husband and I conciously changed our lives to become more child-centered (cosleeping, nursing on cue, and babywearing, slowing down in general) and this met most of my son's needs. In this way, I experienced his infanthood as "easier".

Fast forward to turning three. I'd begun teaching again, this time with my son in my preschool group, and he *hated* having to share me. Big tears, big drama. I loved my son, but hated this dynamic when I was his teacher. In summer, when preschool was out, he wanted NOTHING to do with other kids. At parks or gatherings/playgroup, he's just be a little velcro monkey, climbing up my leg and clinging to me and just acting out because he was so mad about having to be around other kids and share me. It was very frustrating, to say the least, and I had the most antisocial summer of my life. Once he started a different preschool, however, he had other challenges-- it is really hard work for him to play appropriately with friends. He doesn't hit or hurt so much as just get in their space and act goofy, which caused them to really reject them. He's challenged in that he's more of an observer and entering play/social situations is still work for him. His teachers have been really working to stretch him, requiring him to stay in play situations with his peers for a certain amount of time, and he comes home, exhausted and wanting to just be on my lap.... sometimes it will be for a half-hour. Sometimes, we see tears. And he's obsessive about his favorite things, so that can invite snubbing and teasing from peers when he starts talking about fountains or vacuums (again!). He's learning that what's important to him (which we honor at home) doesn't get the same positive response with his peers. Growing pains...

The most difficult thing, for me, with having a child who appears to be 'easy' is that others can make hurtful assumptions. Once, one mother completely misinterpreted a comment of mine (which was not about her child at all, but which she pointedly took to be so) and said "well, not every child is like YOURS". Ouch! I don't think for a minute that I have a perfect child. Another preschool parent asked me 'He's so cute. Does he even cry?" (uh...yeah!)

And there are the nights of tears, when nothing on the dinner table will do (and I'm the kind of mom who ignores "I don't like that"; what's on the table is what we're having). There are the times he doesn't want to get dressed, gripes about how I'm washing his hair, doesn't want to help with picking up his room, doesn't want to settle down and go to sleep.... I can make some things better by being very consistent with routine and discipline, but he's got some existential stuff he's working out subconciously too.

I know this is a long answer, and what a unique question. I'd say that 'easier' is just those things: hindsight, perspective and based on experience. My previous experiences with caring for other people's children allowed me to have a leg up on a lot of parenting techniques and practices, and gives me a lot to compare and contrast my own child with. If I didn't have that, though.... I might have parented differently, or thought my son was pretty tough.

It's all relative, huh?! Thanks again for a very thought-provoking question!

H.

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L.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I never hit my kids... my son has only been spanked once in his life, but that is it. he is almost four. I guess I do have easy children. But most of my friends and family have easy children. We can bring them anywhere, restaurants, stores, etc. I don't know if it is personality, my parenting techniques or if it is in their genes. I have a 1 and a half year old and an almost four year old. Perhaps you can find some books about parenting the spirited child. Every child is different and reacts differently to different parenting styles. It might help. We use time outs in our house and it works as long as I follow through. Perhaps a different disciplinary style might work. Hope things get easier.

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F.O.

answers from Los Angeles on

As of today, my child is well-balanced.

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K.G.

answers from San Diego on

Great question!!! I'm kinda in the same boat as you except mine are now 5 and 10 year old girls. Oh yea don't forget talking back and fighting with each other. LOL I will say mine were both easy babies LOL

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K.M.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter is easy (7) now; she was a difficult baby. And my son (11 - ADD) was an easy baby but he is difficult now. Also my kids are the one that behave well in the store. They know that the naughty behavior will not be tolerated, and I don't have to bribe them either.

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J.C.

answers from Rockford on

My oldest son was a very easy child. He slept through the night at birth, learned everything early with hardly any effort, never cried unless hungry or hurt, and always agreeable. Then came youngest son! I think he cried and screamed until he was 4. He had problems eating from birth and was one of those fun projectile vomiters. He never ever slept unless he was held and if I put him in the crib we would start all over. The hardest time with them was probably ages 7-9 (they are 13 months apart) and we went through a lot of the things you are! They are teens now, and both are very well behaved and almost never get into trouble, so the discipline does pay off!

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B.N.

answers from Fayetteville on

Based on your "so what happened," I would say this: spanking is, I believe, the best way to rear children when they are YOUNG. But by age 4 or 5, you should hardly be spanking them EVER.

A mother who secures good habits in her children, is courteous and a good example, and is patient and kind WILL have easy children. A mother who is consistent, each and every time, with offenses, will have an easy child
Easy children are not easy by nature. They are easy because they have been well-trained. You should be around them "keeping a firm reign" because you are enjoying being with them and they with you, not because you need to "keep them under control."
Ultimately, the goal of parenting is to change a child's HEART, not just to get them to externally obey. Does that make sense? Every issue is a heart issue. Spanking is fine and an excellent tool, so long as your aim is to build a bond with your child so that they see you as their rightful authority whom they "LOVE to obey, because they know you love them," not whom they "HAVE to obey... for now."

Can I recommend a parenting book to you? It just might change your life.
http://raisinggodlytomatoes.com/

Blessings!

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K.S.

answers from Kansas City on

So far, mine are very easy. I have a 4 1/2 yo & a 14 mo old and they both are very well behaved. The 4 yo is extremely energetic and a bit hyper at times, but he always minds us. The 1 yo is very quiet and calm and loves to just watch his brother. Even his little giggle is very quiet and calm. They are exact opposites. We are both very laid back people but expect our kids to mind us so I'm sure that's probably a lot to do with it also. Not to mention, my husband is a pretty big guy and can get very stern and mean looking when he wants to so they know they better mind, lol.

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

Babies are born with most of their personality already set. I take almost no credit for the wonderfully easy daughter I have. The only thing I can say is that after raising two stepchildren, who had somewhat challenging personalities, and having my daughter at 41, I was an "easier" mom. More relaxed and willing to look at the bigger picture instead of worrying about the small stuff. Together, she and I, life is very, very good!

H.X.

answers from Los Angeles on

No baby is easy, but some are easier than others. My in-laws are up half the night with a collicy baby. We spent a day with them last weekend and it was nerve racking just to be near all that crying. Thats a hard baby and makes mine seem easy. Its just a relavitve term. Your follow up cracks me up.

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M.G.

answers from Chicago on

I have 2.5 year old twins, and I can honestly say they were good babies. I'm not so sure I'd say easy since there were two, but they are very well behaved. Sure, we're dealing with the typical terrible twos and they're testing their boundaries, but I would not call my children difficult at all. They listen (for the most part), do well in the store, and I can even take them out to dinner at a sit down restaurant by myself. My husband was very nervous about trying for a third child (due in July) because our boys were so easy as babies. He's afraid we'll run out of luck. But, I figure it's a trade-off. We were blessed with two babies at once, so they were a bit easier to help us manage.

S.L.

answers from New York on

Haven't you ever heard easy baby difficult teen? I had an easy child. slept most of the night as an infant, ALWAYS went to bed easily, got up quietly, not perfect or anything but much easier than his sister, who threw tantrums, was whiny, over sensitive and over dramatic. Then my perfect child hit 14 and all hell broke loose. the girl grew out of temper tantrums but pressured herself to get good grades, a B- was "practically failing!!!!" in her dramatic words. the roles reversed and The easy child became the problem teen smoking, lying, stealing, skipping school, you name it.

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B.P.

answers from New York on

YES, I think some people do! I believe I was an "easy child", my brother not not but a good boy overall. I know these "easy" children exist because some moms have easy ones and difficult ones so they can say from experience. I think most kids are in the middle somewhere though. Hitting at 3 is not good but is normal (I was mortified before my son's 3rd birthday party that he kept repeatedly shoving an 18 month old) and needs consistant discipline. But if I may say, at 8, getting in trouble so much is not "normal". I think you might seek out some help for your son. I know that was not your question but there are lots of people out there that can help us with our kids and make life easier.

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L.M.

answers from Washington DC on

It's relative. My 3 year old son is really easy compared to my 7 year old daughter. He likes to have approval, and thus tries to make good choices. He is also generally more cautious and has a milder temper and more quiet personality. Also, I think even "difficult" kids have their easy areas, some things that they do well or without much pushing. For example, my daughter has always been a good eater, including vegetables. I try to remember what she does well so that I don't focus on the negative too much.

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C.R.

answers from Dallas on

Well yes I have one, my oldest that has always be very compliant and thoughtful and my youngest is a bit head strong and has to be told over and over again. Both have good and bad traits to having their own personalities. It's not always a bad thing to be headstrong, sometimes it's a good thing to have your own way instead of doing it the way everybody else does. It's just not the easiest kind of child to raise. lol
Not sure if the form of discipline has much to do with the kind of personality they have. We are all different. I don't believe in just one way of disciplining for all children though. What works for one doesn't for the other. If you are too h*** o* a sensitive child they will learn to behave one way on the outside but be hurt on the inside and learn nothing. You have to find a child's currency and use it to get their attention and learn a lesson and not just be feared into submitting. You know the " I'm sitting but on the inside I'm standing" in the heart. That's not good either.
Sorry I'm rambling. What was the question again? lol
C.

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S.H.

answers from Grand Rapids on

My first son has struggled with everything from ADHD, anxiety, potty training, sleeping through the night, etc, etc, that everything my youngest does is "easy". My youngest has accomplished everything that my oldest couldn't with a laid-back grace. I often feel that God gave me one to balance out the other! lol

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J.M.

answers from Boston on

Good question. It seems that the firstborns are more likely to be "easy." Mine was and now 2nd child is not. She isn't EXTREMELY hard but I was not prepared for some of her stubbornness! Still figuring her out (17 mos).

C.C.

answers from San Francisco on

My older daughter (who is 8) is super easy and has been since she was a year old (she was a difficult baby though). She's like a miniature adult. She plans menus (including cocktails - I'm not kidding), makes a grocery list on my iPhone, finds something for her little sister to do while we're going to the store... I mean, she's just SUPER easy. Born incredibly organized and self-driven. Her teachers have always said they wish they had a classroom full of kids like her.

So of course when she was my only child, I congratulated myself on what a great parent I was. And THEN my second child was born. Bless this little girl's heart - she is smart as a whip and very funny, but she is a HANDFUL! So I've learned, "easy" children are just a gift, not a result of parenting. But I'm still so grateful for my one easy child (and my handful of a child also ;).

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E.P.

answers from New York on

I liked Elli's answer too. I guess I'm part of that group too? My daughter is 11. Now I will honestly tell anyone who will listen that she didn't sleep more than 4 hours in a row until she was 2 years old - yes, 2! I swear the day she turned 2 she would say she was going to sleep and we never heard a peep out of her again. Fast forward to 11 - she is physically mature (5'3" and she's been getting her period for the last 6 months or so). Even with the hormones mixed in, she is pleasant, helpful, cooperative, positive and quiet most of the time. She earns As and Bs on her report card, has never been in trouble for anything in school and has no interest in all the DRAMA that goes on with girls at this age. She seems to get along with everyone (I've been told by teachers that most everyone likes her and she gets along with all the different groups of kids in her grade). She isn't interested in all the Justin Bieber craze (thank you God) or anything having to do with boyfriends (thank you again God). Everything is butterlies and rainbows all the time. She has never whined or thrown a tantrum. She was never much of a cryer. She can keep herself busy for hours drawing, painting, crafting, etc. I have the Grandparents and extended family and friends asking when it's their turn to spend time with her. She loves old people and babies. If I'm not feeling well or if I just ask her, she pitches in with household chores without hesitation or complaints. Do I think it will always be this easy - no - but I'm enjoying it for now.

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R.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have one who has been easy the whole time (now 7), one that was SUPER easy until emotional issues started 3 months ago (almost 6) and one that things that the sun rises and sets for her and that we are all just pawns in this little world which is revolving around her, and her alone. LOL. Thankfully I had them in the order I did or I might not have gone for that third child hahah

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J.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

I will say my kids are easy. I'm blessed, I know.... I'm not sure that's what you wanted to hear, but in general they get up, go out in public, and go to bed without problem.

Now - are they perfect - GOD NO! They are kids. Do they fight with each other? Yes. Do they hit each other? Yes. Do they even (on occasion) try to hit me? Unfortunately, yes. Do they hit friends at school? No - they do not. They are really really good kids when I take them out... in fact when we are having a bad day at home, a trip to the grocery store can be just the ticket for changing the way the afternoon goes.

I think it is temperment. My kids have just always been easy. Easy in pregnancy (for the most part), easy in birth and nursing... and so far pretty good. They are 6, 4, and 2 - so maybe they'll be horrible teenagers to make up for it :)

Good luck,
jessica

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