Do You Wake Each Other up for Work?

Updated on September 06, 2012
L.L. asks from Topeka, KS
35 answers

It got me thinking should I wake my husband up if he is late getting up in the A.M. he told me again why didn't you wake me up.I'm like why do I need to wake you the alarm went off and i'm not your mother.So do you wake each other up BTW I get up without him telling me its time to get moving
I'm up all hours of the night taking care of our baby by the time my eyes close it's usually when his alram is going off he is an early riser before the sun comes up now that school year has begun i'm up to get them moving.So the should I part maybe needed to be reworded it's more of a common courtesy to the rest of you but for me he has his alarm going off he knows it's time to get up as so do I.There is no need to get me up or tell me to get up that annoys the hell out of me.

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So What Happened?

Read the responses and this is just one of those things that I don't bother with.He doesn't sleep to the point he'll be late for work or at risk of losing his job.I don't like it when he disturbs my sleep the kids or the alarm or need to pee will get me up
.Edit this a bit for those who think it is being iresspnonsible of him not getting up to the alarm or whatever it is because i'm a wake already and haven't waken him up yes his alarm is going off he has never been late nor has ever called in sick to work how many can say that? in the 13 yrs i've been with him.This was a plain and simple question I guess I really need to keep it plain and simple and not try to explain this and that into detail via questions on internet since it's not a face to face conversation and we all don't know each other.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Only if I know he's running late. He has done the same for me. I consider it looking out for each other. Now, if he was late every day, then I'd be ticked off and tell him I'm not his mother, get up.

8 moms found this helpful
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J.K.

answers from Phoenix on

I wake my husband up all the time. I never really thought about it. I get myself up and my hubby. :)

8 moms found this helpful

F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

My husband 90% of the time wakes up around 6:15am on his own and doesnt use an alarm. In the 10% he doesn't and I wake up and notice the time is past 6:15, yes, I will nudge him to get up. He lets me sleep every day until around 7am when he wakes me with a kiss on the head and a cup of coffee. =)

7 moms found this helpful

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M..

answers from Youngstown on

Of course I wake my husband up if he slept through the alarm. Thats what spouses do, they take care of each other. I'm not his mother either, but I also cook for him and do his laundry. Thats what we do, right? Take care of each other.

13 moms found this helpful
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B.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I watch out for my wife and she watches out for me. I try and keep bad things from happening to her and she does her best to stop bad things from happening to me.

If your husband saw your dress caught in the car door, would you like him to tell you and open the door or let the car drive off taking your dress with it?

I get up earlier than my wife almost every day. I know what time she usually comes out of our bedroom. If I don't see her I go and see if she has woken up. I've woken her up several times over the years. She has done the same for me. We watch over each other. I think all good spouces watch over each other.

I wouldn't let my wife drive off with too little gas in the car. I wouldn't let her be late for work so she would be in trouble.

Good luck to you and yours.

10 moms found this helpful

E.D.

answers from Seattle on

Me, no. I never have to.
My husband is 98% more punctual than I am. His alarm goes off and he's out of bed.

MY alarm will go off and I convince myself (HEY, I'm half ASLEEP for cryin' out loud!) that I can get ready in half the time. I'll just make coffee in the shower. It ain't no thang!

Snooze, snooze, snooze...and suddenly I'm late.

So, I have quite a lot of empathy for my fellow non-morning people. Should my husband need a wake up call I'd be more than happy to return the favor. In the mean time, I'd be confused if he let me sleep past my hour of power. I mean, it's not his job or responsibility...it's just the polite thing to do when you know your spouse doesn't function before the first cup (or fifteen) of coffee. :-)

8 moms found this helpful
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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Of course we wake each other up. Why wouldn't we?

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K.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

If it looks like my husband may oversleep, I wake him up. He does the same thing for me. It seems like basic courtesy to me.

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V.T.

answers from Washington DC on

My husband is very good at getting up in time. So if I feel that he is oversleeping, I'll wake him. I see it as a courtesy so he is not late for work. Maybe I'd think differently if I had to do it everyday.

8 moms found this helpful

⊱.H.

answers from Spokane on

My husband works long, weird hours but I always know when he is scheduled to be at work. If I am home and it's about the time he should be getting up and he's not, of course I go in and wake him. If he is working swing and worked a 12-14 hour shift the day before I always call to make sure he didn't sleep through his alarm.
I know I am not his Mom, I know he is a big boy/adult, but I also know how hard he works and how much sleep he doesn't get. I do it b/c sometimes he is so tired he can sleep right through his phone alarm and the alarm clock.
On his days off if my alarm is going off too long and I am not waking up he will wake me.

6 moms found this helpful

J.A.

answers from Indianapolis on

I used to be like you. I would nudge him if his phone was going off and annoying me. But otherwise I'd leave him be. Until he started sleeping in a lot and falling asleep during the day. His sleep apnea is getting worse and causing him to be tired constantly. There have been times that he has either slept through his alarm or kept hitting snooze. If I didn't wake him up he would have been late for work. And that would affect our whole family, especially if he lost his job because of it. Besides, I'd want him to do the same for me if need be. It's just common courtesy in my book.

5 moms found this helpful
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B.G.

answers from Springfield on

I haven't, but if I thought his boss would be upset if he were late, I would. I think it's important to do things for each other. When you see something that needs to be done, just do it. Don't wait for someone to ask you, and don't say, "Not my job." Just do it.

It's actually in your best interest anyway, as you wouldn't want him to get into trouble or lose his job, right?

ETA - In your SWH you seem to indicate that you would not want him to wake you up. Fair enough, but this isn't about what you would want if you were in his shoes. This is about what he does want.

My husband and I often have this conversation. He tends to say, "But if it were me, I would want ... " That many seem sweet, but I'm telling him what I want. So I'm specifically asking him to do something for me, and he's saying that that's not what he would want me to do for him. Mental note, this is not what he wants. Got it. Now, back to what I asked him to do ...

This is what he wants. It's little effort on your part. Do yourselves both a favor. Just wake him up!

5 moms found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

IF we want the other to make sure we are up for a certain reason.. yes we will ask each other. We each have our own alarms, my husband also uses his cell phone as his back up, since our cat died last year, he does not get pestered to get up in the mornings any more.

For instance I had to be up at 6:00 last week. I set the alarm for that time, but slept through it.. Thanks goodness, I had asked my husband the night before and left a post it note on the bathroom mirror, to please make sure i got up at six. He came in and said, hey, you slept through your alarm..

Saved me from a real Problem.

He gets up at around 5:45.. Some nights, he will say, "would you mind making sure i am up on time. I have a very important meeting and am worried i will be late."

Even though I do not need to be up that early, I am happy to do this every once in a while. I will even stay awake until he leaves to make sure he gets going, has his coffee.. etc..

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A.C.

answers from Atlanta on

We wake each other up, yes.

4 moms found this helpful

N.G.

answers from Dallas on

Yeah, it's just being kind. I'd so much rather wake up to my husband's embrace than that horrible alarm clock. Why should you? Well, you don't have to, but it might be nice.

3 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

i'm not sure i understand. are you already up? if so, then why NOT get him up? it's just what couples do for each other. it's not being his mother, it's being his partner.
if you're asleep and he expects you to wake up AND wake him up, then i agree he's being a baby.
my dh gets himself up every morning. he gets up at 3, the poor guy, so not only does he get himself up, he makes himself do it without hitting the snooze so he doesn't disturb me. then if i need the alarm set he does it for me, but if he's home when i need to get up he wakes me up himself.
but i'd be pretty peeved if i had to rouse myself from sleep in order to get him up.
khairete
S.

3 moms found this helpful

S.L.

answers from New York on

Yes, we sometimes wake each other up.

2 moms found this helpful

S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

If for some reason my husband had overslept I would wake him up. If it became a habit to oversleep I would probably get annoyed. If he risked losing his job, and our families livelihood I would be VERY annoyed. I'm sure he has also woken me when I have overslept as well.

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I.W.

answers from Portland on

I get up at least an hour before he does. I get up, get ready, & take the dog out. I always tell him goodbye when I leave, so if he's not already up, he gets up then.

2 moms found this helpful

A.G.

answers from Dallas on

No, but I would if I was home and notice he had overslept.

I wake up at 5:30, and I wake up my 14yo son at 5:45. He used to set an alarm, but since we wake up so close to the same time this year, I offered to wake him up. He pops right out of bed, so it's no problem, and I like seeing him sleeping. :)

My 14yo and I leave the house right about the time that my 8yo and my husband are just beginning to awaken. My 8yo is a big-time morning person, and he wakes Dad up most mornings. Occasionally my husband will wake up first, but usually our son wakes up first. Neither of them sets an alarm, so if they ever both sleep in, they'll be in trouble!

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A.T.

answers from New York on

My husband gets up just fine, I'm usually the one that needs to be awakened. I guess it all depends on the nature of your relationship. It bugs you, it bugs you, it doesn't, it doesn't. A courtesy wake up kiss or cup of coffee with the light getting switched on...that's it for me on the rare occasions I'd be up first.

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A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

i think this is one of those "each couple is different" questions. my hubby has an alarm on his phone, and has used an alarm clock at times, but at the moment i get him up at the same time i wake our son up. he likes it. i don't think too hard about "why" he likes it, lol. but it doesn't cost me anything, so i do it.

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

Only if I notice that it's getting REALLY late. My husband is self-employed and can set his own appointment times so there are some days when he has to get out of the house by 8 and others where he doesn't need to go out until the afternoon. If I notice his phone is going off constantly and it's after 10 AM I'll pop in to see if he accidentally overslept but otherwise I expect him to be a grown up and get himself up and out the door. I'm not resentful though if he ASKS me to make sure he gets up. He'll go through phases where he wants to get on a more regular schedule so he'll ask me to make sure that he's up by 7 or 7:30 if he shuts off his alarm. I'm not a morning person either so I understand the struggle to get out of bed (that said, no one has to wake me up at 6:30 AM I manage to do that all by myself...).

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S.R.

answers from El Paso on

We do when we need that extra little shove of motivation. For example, if my husband doesn't really HAVE to go to something that is extra early in the morning, he'll ask me to reset our alarm. I harass him about it for a couple of minutes to make sure he is awake enough to think clearly about his decision. He hasn't gotten in trouble yet! And, other times, he absolutely HAS to do something early, and when he just lays there, I'll nudge him/poke him or whatever to make sure he's up. Then, if he still lays there, I poke him over and over till he either pokes me back or gets up. :)

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Wow I don't even wake my teenagers up let alone my husband!
Well, except my 13 year old. The 16 and 19 year olds have alarm clocks.
And no, in answer to your question I have never once had to wake up my husband for work. Not once in almost twenty years of marriage.
I would hate that, like you, that would make me feel like a nagging mother :(

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B.H.

answers from Wichita on

I felt like I was writing what you said!!! The same thing happens to me all the time.

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K.O.

answers from Atlanta on

I would not. I assume he is a grown man and can be responsible for himself. I'm responsible for the other 5 people in the house and feel that he can handle himself. Now, if he had mentioned the previous night about having to be at work at a particular time and I noticed he was oversleeping, I would wake him. On a typical day, I would think that he was making a conscious decision to sleep in and I shouldn't disturb him.

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K.M.

answers from Chicago on

He gets up usually a 1/2 hr before me he knows I have trouble sleeping so he usually lets me sleep for that half our then wakes me up.

1 mom found this helpful
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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Seriously? No way.
My husband STARTS working at 5:00 am. Sometimes 4:00 am.
I'm not even rolling over for the first time by then! Lol
He's on his own.
He's an early bird, so it's not a problem.
We get ourselves up.

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K..

answers from Phoenix on

No, because we are both responsible, grown adults. DH always gets up earlier than me, but I have an alarm & am always up in plenty of time to get ready for the day & get to work a little early. Now, if he was uncharacteristically still in bed AFTER I was awake, then yes, I would wake him. But on a normal day, nope.

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A.F.

answers from Fargo on

Huh, I have never had to wake my husband up in 10 years of marriage. I actually think that getting out of bed when your alarm goes off is part of being a responsible adult and my husband seems to agree because he's never been late for anything as long as I've known him.

Now, if my husband said, "I am going to lay down for a nap, would you wake me at _____ time?", I would be happy to help, but I am very puzzled at adults who need a shove out of bed after their alarm goes off.

If your husband is disturbing your sleep over this, I believe he is being very inconsiderate. My husband and I are both VERY sleep deprived and we go out of our way to help each other get the best sleep possible.

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C.M.

answers from St. Louis on

I work Mon-Fri and hubby works Fri-Sun. He's up by 430 am so I never have to wake him up because I'm not up that early! I get up with the kids and get my daughter ready for school and make her breakfast. I wake him up when I leave to let him know our son is up and I'm leaving for work :)

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R.R.

answers from Dallas on

we get up at the same time, so I usually wake him up because the alarm is on my side of the bed. If he was an "ignore and go back to sleep" kind of guy, he would be on his own after the initial wakeup. I'm his wife, not his mom. But he gets up fairly easy, and often before the alarm goes off. In our house, the first one up brings coffee to the one still in bed.

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

My husband leaves a little over an hour before I get up. If he wakes me up, it's completely by accident as he knows that I am NOT a morning person. If he has the day off, I do my best to wake up before my alarm so he can have a rare sleep in day. (On the weekends, our dd, also a morning person, waits until exactly 7, the earliest we'll let her wake us up, and goes to his side of the bed to say it's wake up time.) He tried to get me up for work once when he had the day off and I had to work. He got pretty well yelled at as it was before my alarm was set to go off, it was just when HE thought I should be getting up to get ready.

Sometimes I think I had a baby just so he'd have someone to play with on the weekends. When I'd sleep in, he'd open the door and peek in multiple times until he finally woke me up and I would give up and get out of bed. Then he'd be all "yay, you're up!" Grrr... :-)

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N.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Yes, because I realize that he is just as tired as I am and on his days off he does it for me and I rarely over sleep.

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