Do You Think Things Happen for a Reason?

Updated on May 04, 2011
S.L. asks from Chestertown, MD
26 answers

My husband and I were having a discussion about this last night. Recently he decided not to renew his contract in his current job and was forced to make that decision before he knew for sure what he would be able to do instead. He's had a few interviews and has a few more lined up and I'm confident that things will work out. (Just to clarify, this question is not about whether that was a good decision or not, I have a full time job and if he can't find work we will have to cut back, but we aren't going to go hungry.) I really believe things happen for a reason, even if we don't know what the reason is right now and that in the end things work out. I'm not sure why I believe this, I'm not a very religious person, but it's like I believe there is some greater force directing our lives. Do other people agree or are you like my husband (who is freaking out right now) and thinks our whole world could fall apart if he makes one wrong decision?

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So What Happened?

Thank you all for all of your support. I do not believe that things will just work out without some effort and planning on our part, but I think opportunities arise when you least expect them and maybe they don't seem like the best idea at the time, but down the road you're really glad they worked out the way they did. Unfortunately my husband found out today that he did not get two of the jobs and he got an offer for a part time position that would be less than 50% of his current salary. We still have a few more options, but he's feeling a little down. But, like I said, we won't starve, so for that I'm grateful!

Featured Answers


answers from Norfolk on

Too many times I've seen the fickle finger of fate flip the bird at people.
Occasionally something good will happen, but 'random' means you can't have bad luck all the time.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

I most definitely do! I believe things do happen for reasons (good and bad) and I don't believe in fate. Everyone is given decisions to make, sometimes we all wish we could have a re-do.. I think we are all given chances and if you take them and it works out then great! If not, we always learn!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Kalamazoo on

Wow - I could have written this post myself!
Yes I believe that everything happens for a reason even if at the moment we don't know why. I've actually had some horrible events happen in my life, but as I look back across the years, everything led me to where I am today. I think a positive outlook, an open mind and a good kind heart will lead the way. I also believe that what you put out is what you get back. I live my life in a positive loving way with good intentions and so far I've received a good fortune for it!

1 mom found this helpful

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answers from Fort Walton Beach on

I have a very strong faith in God so do believe that things happen for a reason. That is not an "excuse" to sit back and do nothing or not make plans. I firmly believe that God opens and closes doors to show us what path He would have us take. We've had many, many, many instances over the past few years that have cemented that belief in me.
I hope whatever job he takes works out for you guys.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Richmond on

When one door closes, another opens.

I am a HUGE believer in that everything happens for a reason.

There may be a struggle, and the path may be unclear, but SOMETHING good always comes out of bad or hard situations. You just have to find the silver lining... it truly is always there, you just have to search for it.

Like my fiance and I have a ton of mutual friends... it's insane that we never met before we did... HOWEVER, if we had met sooner, I think we would have killed each other! Neither of us would have been ready for what we have now :)

He also lost his job about a year ago... a great paying job, but he was miserable. The time off really got him more in tune with our new family dynamic; we learned a lot about ourselves with him being home all the time. He was unemployed for what seemed like forever... but then he landed the job he has now, and he couldn't be happier! It's for less pay, but the stress levels are lower and he actually enjoys going to work and coming hoe to his family now. The peace of mind for him is priceless :)

Best wishes!!

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answers from Hartford on

Absolutely! And being open to such possibilities invites wonderful things into our lives...take a look at Job.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Philadelphia on

We have MANY times had this happen where it was meant to be but at the time we thought the world was coming to an end. This includes jobs, home choices, etc. We believe in a higher power. We call him God, lol! But that's just us.

Our latest issue was after my husband retired from the military at the end of December. We moved in with my brother and his wife which was suppose to be for just a couple weeks as my husband was getting a big job interview that they gave us the impression was just a formality. He went, all expenses paid including flight, hotel, 3 days of being fed, and so on. Everything went great and then got an email (not even a call) that they decided to go another way. We were so freaked out! No other job offers! It took two MONTHS of staying with my brother and his wife to find another job. They have no children and there's 6 of us. Imagine that house! LOL Needless to say, we later heard bad things about the original company and how they treat their employees and the job he ended up getting was a bit less in pay but was very well suited to him and is now thriving very well in it! We feel that we were made to see that we should not have been so confident in the beginning and shouldn't have put all of our eggs in one basket. Pride. Once we relaxed and left it in the right hands things fell into place. We also landed a decent home that is affordable and nice. It's not the best. It has it's faults but it's a nice home, clean, pretty and affordable. The kids go to great schools! The baseball league here is wonderful! The people here are very nice! Everything all seems to work!

In the past we've had similar things that when we look back things were meant to be but because we do not have ESP we can't see it at the time.

You guys will have times of going nutty but I believe things are meant to be. You'll only know when you look back.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

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answers from Chicago on

I do believe everything happens for a reason.

I also believe that, if I work hard and make good decisions, everything will work out well and the way it is supposed to.

I'm with you - I am not terribly religious and don't really affiliate myself with one group or another, but I do feel that there is that force you describe. However, I do feel that I have a little bit of input in helping guide that force.

Good luck to you and your husband. For what it is worth, my husband walked away from his job in January...4 months later, given all the upheaval in his old job, it was the best decision ever.

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answers from Phoenix on

No, I don't believe things happen for a reason but I'm a " negative Nelly". I think that crappy things happen & sometimes it ends up working out & sometimes it doesn't.

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answers from Rochester on

I think God orchestrates everything, personally, and that all things bend to His will (whether you see it or not, believe it or not) and everything is "for a reason." For example...I mailed in one tax worksheet instead of the schedule (whoops) so our federal was delayed. If we had got in on time, it would be spent. However, we're getting it months late because of my mistake, and lo and behold, the car breaks down. Now, if we'd spent that, we'd be totally screwed. But we didn't spend it, because I messed up...for a reason! So now we can fix our car. So yes, I totally believe that everything (everything, even the bad) happens for a reason. Your world will go on no matter what he does...and he probably did the right thing!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

i think it's true in an oversimplified way. like many homilies, there are lots of nuances, but in an overarching very general sense, it's got a big grain of truth at the center.
i think random chance is a big factor in an ordered universe. the idea that every single thought and action is pre-ordained and orchestrated horrifies free will advocates like myself. but i do believe that we get to enjoy this incredible opportunity in a physical incarnation in order to accomplish certain things, and that there are subtle forces at work in our lives to facilitate these accomplishments.
sometimes we make choices that thwart these trends, and this generally wreaks havoc in our lives.
but even these are opportunities to learn and grow and get back on track.
it would be nice if we could see clearly each time what is part of the great plan, and what is a diversion, but it seems as if that degree of knowledge isn't part of the game design!
:) khairete

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Baton Rouge on

I think that everything that happens has causes and effects (job loss caused by recession, for example), but supernatural machinations, no. If I lose my job, it's because I did something wrong, or because my employer couldn't afford to keep paying me, not because some invisible force is telling me that it's time for me to do something else.

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answers from Jacksonville on

I used to not, but now I do. My husband started a Chiropractic Practice, right about the time the market crashed. Horrible timing. So the business failed. He was in a office renting and the rent was killing us. He had a friend that opened a workout facility and offered my husband some space there. My husband worked it out with the leasing office and moved. So while he was there, these people were talking about moving to a new building. All of the sudden they decided that they didn't have room for my husband. We were starting to panic. But then he got a job in Florida, and though we had to move away from everyone and everything we love, we are paying off all of our debt, and no longer worry about how we are going to feed our daughter. Had the friend had space for my husband, he would have signed a lease and we would have been in a bad situation.In the mean time, I had applied for another job, that paid a lot better. I didn't get it, and three months later I was gone anyway. So yes, I think things work out.

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answers from Washington DC on

I believe everything happens for a reason. We just moved from CA to VA in Jan. and my husband took a very large pay cut for his new job, but it has more room to grow with the company and better benefits. We are struggling just to make rent sometimes. I work part time as a photographer and I make my own schedule so my work isn't always regular. I am currently wondering why we did we move here again? because I am very stressed out about how we are going to make it. But, I know all things happen for a reason and if I just trust God that he knows better than I do, then everything will work out and be ok, and someday we will be making more than we did in CA and then I won't have to worry so much. So, yes, I believe everything happens for a reason

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Williamsport on

NO, I don't believe that at all. I think sometimes people are extremely lucky, but usually, if you make bad choices, bad things happen. Down the road things take positive turns again, and you may not have seen those coming, but the whole theory that everything is meant to be and on auto pilot seems insane to me. I can see clearly where I have made choices that led to situations I could have avoided, and how I could have been way better off by now making different ones. That's not to say I don't have many blessings still.

There are countless ways things can play out, and I think to a very large extent we control it, it's not "destiny", but there are always wild cards too. People who worked hard their entire lives all through school, and their careers and then in their golden years lost everything to the Madoff scandal wouldn't say, "Everything turns out OK no matter what". Things can just as easily end up wrong as right. My close friend gave up her job an moved somewhere she didn't want to just to support her husband's career, only to find out he's been having an affair for years and has a child out of wedlock. She wanted to move home and get her job back, but she's been replaced. My husbands best friend just passed away from a sudden cancerous brain tumor at 40. He was a wonderful hard working caring person. Not trying to get pessimistic here, but no, things aren't "for a reason" and they won't "work out no matter what". Good will come from both of these things in time, but I don't feel we're all puppets on strings with a set course.

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answers from Washington DC on

I too believe that things happen for a reason - good or bad - they happen for a reason.....

This will test you and your marriage - but it sounds like you have things under control and not panicking - which is a GREAT sign!

I would be confident in my interviews. Things will happen.

BTW - what does he do?

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answers from Visalia on

no. you sow what you reap, the decision you make in life is what you make of it once it is chosen. i think its a cop out when one says 'it was meant to be' when things doesn't pan out. imo

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answers from Charlotte on




answers from Louisville on

Sometimes I think so - as there have been times I don't think I'd have chosen what happened!



answers from Boston on

I don't think that things happen for a reason, but I do think that we learn about ourselves in the middle of every difficult process. So if I make the wrong decision, I don't think that the world will fall apart, but I do think that I'll have to dig into myself deep to make it work out.

Honestly, I used to think things happened for a reason, and then many of the people that I love have had serious health issues. The only way that I have been able to come to peace with that is to believe that there is no _why_ only that things happen and we make the best of it. When my husband lost his job, I knew it happened for a reason, but that reason wasn't his fault. While it has impacted me and what I see as my social and political role, I don't think that was the great karmic reason for the job loss.

Good luck moving forward!



answers from Louisville on

I think it can be both, depending on the situation. I think we have some leeway to make decisions of our own, and at times like that, our decisions (right or wrong) have consequences that can be easily identified and traced to their source (but not always predicted ahead of time). But there are definitely those things that just happen with little or no initial input from us. A chance meeting, sickness, death, etc.. I see these as growth opportunities, a chance to react to things in a positive way.


answers from Mansfield on

I have been there with my husband (in a similar situation) a couple years ago, and it all worked out fine. I do believe things happen for a reason and he will discover what it is he was really meant to do. Sometimes we have to take a chance to get us out of the "comfortable". I'm sure it is scary for your husband right now, but, like you stated, you will not go hungry. This is his opportunity to find a really great job! It will all work out, everything always does one way or another.


answers from Allentown on

Hi, S.:

There are always consequences for the decisions we make.
Change is always around the corner. What we do with the change helps
us to become the person that we are meant to be.

This change will create opportunities for you and your husband to grow together or apart.

Talk together, reason things out, and make changes that will help both of you to grow into people you are meant to be and as a couple.

Good luck.
All the Best


answers from Dover on

I feel precisely the same way you do. I'm not overly religious either, but I do have faith in a higher power of some sort. I believe we are always taken care of & one way or another, everything will work out just the way it's meant to. Of course things could always fall apart, but in my mind, it that's what is supposed to happen, then it can't be stopped & it's all to teach us lessons & help us to grow.



answers from Minneapolis on

I would probably be freaking out like he is but I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason! It is a risk but clearly he had a reason for not renewing and things will fall into place. It may be bumpy for a while, but whatever is meant to be will be.



answers from Pittsburgh on

I feel that way when things do not go as I planned, but on the other hand I feel that we need to make smart choices for ourselves. Sort of like the joke about the man that dies in the flood and asks God,'why didn't you save me?' and he asks why he turned down the boat, the helicopter, the... that he sent to save him!

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