Do You Think That Long Acrylic Nails Are Appropriate for a 7 Year Old?

Updated on December 06, 2012
J.G. asks from Los Angeles, CA
127 answers

Well, 7 1/2 year old.

One of my daughter's classmates wears these long acrylic nails, she's 8 years old. On Friday the little girl had her 8th birthday at the Nail Salon that her mother Co-owns & offered all of the little girls a "Spa Day Party" that included free acrylic manicures & "hair spray painting". Out of the about 14 mommies present only myself & one other mother opted out of the manicure for our daughters (I felt it was inappropriate for her age, I'm also not big on acrylic nails for various reasons). My daughter opted out of the "hair spray painting", which was just fine with me. After the manicures the birthday girl's mother put on the movie Mean Girls, it's a cute movie I guess but once again I thought it was inappropriate for my 7 1/2 year old, so I quietly left the party with my daughter.

Today a friend of mine who knows the birthday girl's mother told me that she was offended by the fact that my daughter didn't "take any part in" her daughter's birthday party & that she felt like my daughter is going to be "stunted" because I don't "allow her to experience anything". At first I disagreed completely, I mean we travel nationally & internationally(whenever schedule/finances allow it), visit national parks, go to museums, zoos and stuff like that, my daughter is usually involved in some sort of after school activity( right now, art classes), I thought that all of these things were positive life experiences. But when I look back at how many mothers allowed their daughters to get the manicures & how many stayed I started to think that maybe I'm a bit prude or something, I just wanted some outside opinions from other mothers on your opinions on whether the manicures and choice of movie for second graders were appropriate or not, thanks in advance!

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M.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

People who are doing the wrong thing usually try to make you feel bad when you are doing right. Just the way people are! You were totally right.

5 moms found this helpful

M.3.

answers from St. Louis on

No, kudos to you for being a fabulous Mom! That birthday party would have set me over the edge. It all sounds a little tasteless to me. Mean Girls for 7 year olds? Thats teachin em good!

2 moms found this helpful
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D.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have one word for those moms that let their daughters get fake nails put on.."ghetto" sorry but that is just low class.. you have taste enough to know that that is simply tasteless..she is being stunted..this is just gross...gross gross..
did i say gross? yes i did..and honey my boyfriend is a stylist and i do casting and i just have to say..you did the right thing!

D.

1 mom found this helpful

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S.L.

answers from New York on

it sounds like the whole party was inappropriate for 7/8 yr olds. You dont let 7/8 yr olds watch a movei rated pg 13. Girls should be playing outside and participating in sports and music, all hard to do with long nails. You did the right thing. Why should we push our children to grow up faster? Let this mother be offended by you, sadly this is not going to be a friendship you will want to foster. Her daughter will be piercing things and having boy/girl sleepovers by 13, so as not to stunt her social growth, do you reallly want your daughter invited to more of these events?

9 moms found this helpful
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K.P.

answers from San Diego on

Wow! You really expose your kids to a lot of great things.
Let me think....what would I rather do?...let my 7 year old look like a cheap teenager and watch mindless stupid movies (for any age!)..., or prepare my child for the REAL world as I would like her to see it and expose her to all sorts of things that will make her a well rounded, intelligent confident young lady? I think I'd like to raise my children the way you do. Don't even worry what other parents think or say. They're probably a little envious that you have the guts to do the right thing and they dont....

Good for you! This is a positive example for all parents! :-)

7 moms found this helpful
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M.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I think the mom is trying to be the "cool" mom and its going to come and bite her in the back after its all said and done. Yes, she will be popular with the kids etc. but this will also lead to her being the type to allow teenage drinking/drugs in her home, sleepovers with boys etc. all morals thrown out the window to preserve her popularity. You on the other hand will have a well mannered, well-rounded, healthy child. Good for you! Don't for a second think you are a prude. I am really quite suprised that the other moms didn't stand up and say no to this---they are WAY too young to be doing this type of thing. I would have been ok with a manicure and nail polish but definitely not the fake nails or the mean girls movie.....You are on the right track---don't worry about offending her, you have to do what is best for your child. Even if it isn't the popular decision!

Molly

7 moms found this helpful
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M.A.

answers from Orlando on

The only thing that I can think of that would stunt your daughter or any of the other kids for that matter are the chemicals from the acrylic nails...

7 moms found this helpful
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C.R.

answers from Minneapolis on

I think you are the best Mom in the world. As parents we are always hopeing that our children do not give in to peer pressure and you set the prefect example. Great Job!!!!

6 moms found this helpful
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C.Z.

answers from Los Angeles on

I would have done what you did. Those are inappropriate things for a 7.5 year old to participate in! Fake nails??? Why not just paint their real nails? Mean Girls is also an inappropriate movie for 7.5 year olds. Everyone is complaining how girls grow up too fast in our society nowadays...because of things like this! You did good Mama!

5 moms found this helpful
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C.R.

answers from Chicago on

Your child, your decisions. Although, I do happen to agree with you 100%!

4 moms found this helpful

★.O.

answers from Tampa on

I would have felt and done the same... these CHILDREN are under 15 years old - which is the start of the age range in which I feel acrylic nails and the Mean Girls movie is appropriate for.

I hate how some Moms are actively instilling and propagating the sexualization of little girls... that 8 year old probably wears thongs, coochie shorts and has string bikinis.

4 moms found this helpful
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J.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think it would have been cute for them to do a "day spa" experience where they PAINTED their nails, but acrylics at 7 and 8 years old?? That's ridiculous! Not only is it totally inappropriate for their age group, but it's damaging to their real nails. I completely agree with your take on it and I don't think you're sheltering her at all. As for the movie, as people have said on here before, it's PG-13. Some moms might be okay with it, some moms might not, but it's your judgement and YOUR child. You shouldn't feel pressured to let your child watch something that you're not comfortable with. I think you did the right thing. The life experiences you are giving your daughter are the age-appropriate ones. She is learning about the world in a good way. The fact that she opted out of the hair painting on her own means that she is probably not even interested in all that stuff yet anyway.

4 moms found this helpful
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S.W.

answers from Amarillo on

It sounds like you are building character in your daughter that shows she does not have to do what everybody else does. I would take the travel over getting my nails done any day. But then again it depends on what the mother of the children has experience. My daughter had a similar experience from her junior high classmates about an issue. They felt that because she wore the same clothes and not the latest fashion she was not rich. Hubby and I had to point out that she had been places and done things that the others hadn't and that they were probably jealous. We told her that clothes don't make the person it is on the inside to shine to the outside.

A plan manicure would have been nice without the acrylics. As far as the movie it was up to you as a parent as to what she saw.

Hang in there. This is just the beginning of what other people think we should all act and when you don't you are a weirdoo. Best to you.

The other S.

3 moms found this helpful
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L.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Sorry, your friend is incorrect and you are a wonderful parent who is exposing your daughter to a wonderful array of experiences. Our society over sexualizes children in such a perverted way. I am really sick of the "toddlers in tiaras" mentality....suddenly it is ok to push children to look like hookers but deny them any real sexual health. Stick to your guns sweetie, I did, and my now 24 year old is a vibrant brilliant sexually healthy adult.

3 moms found this helpful
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D.M.

answers from San Diego on

You did everything right. That's too young for acrylic nails. A regular manicure is fine though at that age. But not acrylic nails. And isn't mean girls a PG-13? My husband still will not let my daughter see that and she's 11. A 7 year old is way too young to see that movie. Just stick by what you believe. I'm sure a lot of other moms thought the same as you, but were just going along with the pack to try to fit in.

3 moms found this helpful

M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

I gave my daughter a spa party for her 6th birthday. The plan was to go to a local nail salon and let the girls get their toes wet, some lotion, and painted...innocent fun. My daughter always goes with me and gets her nails painted - HOWEVER - acrylic nails on girls that young? HECK NO!!! Something is wrong with that mother! I let my daughter experience a lot, but a lot for her age. If it's not age appropriate, it doesn't happen. As for movies, I do not go on a rating as to whether or not my kids can watch it. I go on what my opinion is of the movie. Mean Girls is NOT appropriate!! Other PG-13 movies may be okay, but that one is not.

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C.T.

answers from Dallas on

I think you were right on all counts. 7 is too young for the nails and the movie. Stick to your guns and let your daughter be a little girl as long as she can!

3 moms found this helpful
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T.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

I'm with you, too. And so are many others, as you can tell by the number of supportive responses you received. A GREAT book which discusses this and many other child-rearing topics is "Bringing up G.E.E.K.S" by Marybeth Hicks. I highly recommend it!! Good for for you for having both the guts and the sense to leave that vapid party. Mean Girls and spa days for an 8 yr old? What are they going to do when the girl turns 12, take her out clubbing on Melrose?

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B..

answers from Dallas on

Nope, my daughter wouldn't be able to participate. Completely inappropriate.

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Completely inappropriate - and so stereotyped. What did the boys do?

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D.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

I am in your camp. My kids are 6 (boy) and 8(girl). I too have never brought my daughter for a manicure and would never allow her to get acrylic nails. My thoughts are, let's keep our kids as young and innocent as long as possible. Let's raise them with morals and values of the way things used to be in this country. I want to make every effort to raise my daughter in a way that stears her away from dying her hair, tons of make up, slutty clothes, smoking, etc. I believe that making efforts to build this kind of character is the least I can do. I do not believe it holds them back at all. An education and worldliness (that you talk of (which I think is great that you do)) is amazing and is what pushes them forward in life. We need more moms like us to keep the playing field even. Stay strong and just be honest with that mom. Tell her thank you, your daughter had a good time and you did not mean to offend her, but you do not believe in those things for you daughter yet.

3 moms found this helpful

L.L.

answers from Rochester on

You aren't a prude...you are a good mother. Acrylics can ruin your real nails, and I think it's irresponsible to allow any child to have them. Same with the movie. This mother feels guilty about something and wants to be a "friend" more than a mother.

The last time I thought about raising a well balanced and socially responsible child, I don't think nails and hair came into it...except for maybe their cleanliness!

Good for you!

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L.G.

answers from Detroit on

I would have been offended by this party all together. That is all very inappropriate for a child that age. You were right to leave the party. Don't question yourself. Unfortunately, too many mothers are trying to be friends with their kids, and pushing them to grow up so they can relate to them or something. I can't figure out why it's such a mystery to people why there is so much trouble for teens these days, when they are pushing kids to grow up so fast!

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C.A.

answers from San Francisco on

Your daughter is NOT going to be stunted. If anything, her friend that just celebrated her birthday will be stunted because what she is being taught is important is shallow stuff.

Good for you for standing up for what you believe in. I would have been right with you.

Schools usually have policies about fake nails and hair color. I can't believe all those mommies allowed their girls to get those services done even for one day. What a giant waste of time.

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P.F.

answers from Dallas on

Hi,

I didn't read your responses but I would not have allowed my daughter to have acrylic nails either. A straight mani with colored nail polish would have been just fine, I would have allowed the hair paint as long as it was washable, but it seems like it was your daughter's decision to opt out.

As far as the mom being offended, don't worry. Your daughter is just that, your daughter. If the mom thinks your are being a prude, who cares? I know people who want to force their daughter's to grow up with the nails and hair and makeup at that age, but then tell me the husband will not allow them to date until they are 18 - come on! Playing at a birthday party is one thing, but wearing it to school is another.

Let your daughter enjoy being 7 1/2 her way. If it is playing dress up with a simple mani that seems fine, but you set your own rules and just enjoy your daughter at the age she is at. She will be grown too soon!

2 moms found this helpful
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E.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

You have nothing to feel badly about. It's one thing to hide the world from your kids (which it sounds like you don't) but it's another to force them to grow up. You daughter didn't even want to have her hair painted, so she made up her own mind. Second graders should be going to girl scouts and riding bikes, not spending time in "spas" and watching movies above their maturity level.

2 moms found this helpful

D.R.

answers from San Luis Obispo on

Okay, let me start by saying, from my experience of having a now 22 year old daughter... I had friends that didn't let their kids shave their legs or wear make up until a certain age. I let my daughter shave her legs when she wanted to remembering how I felt in 6th grade when my friends shaved their legs and I couldn't. With a full warning explaining once you start, you can't go back... your little blonde hair on your legs will not grow back blonde etc.... And with make up... when she got to Jr. High... around 8th grade, I let her wear mascara, etc... I mean it was tasteful and nothing outrageous but I was never one of those moms that had a certain age....
Having said that, I would be all for a natural manicure and allow painted nails on my 8 year old but no way would I ever fathom to begin to allow acrylics!!! Oh my gosh! You were totally right. Did she warn the moms what exact services would be done? Also you have the right to decide what movies you want your 7 1/2 year old to view. I might have allowed my 12 year old to see it but you are right.... I had a boy first and then a girl and those little girls are introduced to cattiness soon enough! I couldn't believe the difference of little girls verses little boys and peer pressure at such an early age! Your daughter got a MEAN GIRLS lesson first hand by the mom putting you in that position without forewarning you. Shame on her!
That mom needs to have her head examined and for her to gossip about you and your decision not to partake is crazy! She was probably offended because she knew she was out of line which she was!!!!!! More so having discussed you with anyone else.... I can't even think "for each their own" here... she was OUT OF LINE!!!
(Not to mention... it just took me about four months to grow out my nails after having acrylics... they are paper thin and I can't wait till you come back to report how all those little girls have ruined nails and your daughter doesn't have to go through that pain!) Also...how many cases of fungus do we hear about happening to adults? How is an 8 year old going to take care of acrylics??? And as for doing artwork with them etc...PLEASE!!!! Give me a break!

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M.!.

answers from Columbus on

I agree with you! I would not allow my girls to get acrylic nails. Painted nails - yes... but not fake nails.

Good for you for sticking with your beliefs!

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D.K.

answers from San Francisco on

I think you were correct. Its amazing to me how many mothers will allow girls to do things like this so young. My thought is if you allow it at 7, what will be left at 10, or 13. I would take my daughter for manicures, no acrylics, when she was in Jr high school as a reward for good grades. Now she is 17 and we periodically go together. I never pay for acrylics. Whatever your rules are, they are fine. We all have rules that another mother will disagree with. You develop your rules based on what you think is important. The birthday girl's mothers comments were inappropriate. I would ignore them. I am not even sure I understand her comments. I don't think you are "stunting" or not "allowing her to experience anything". I think it's about timing. You think 7 is too young for acrylic nails. I will never pay for acrylic nails for my daughter because of the bacteria or yeast you can harbor under them. If my daughter (at 17) wants to pay for her acrylic nails, she can, but not at 7. Hang in there!

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K.B.

answers from Milwaukee on

you are not a prude....just a well rounded, educated mother. i only have one boy but i agree with 100% on this whole issue!!!!

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S.E.

answers from Chicago on

You made the right decision I would not allow it.Todays world is making kids grow up too fast! Let them be little girls not your best friend where you go get nails together.I can see a manacure but not fake nails.Like I said you made the right decision.

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T.F.

answers from Dallas on

I consider myself as one of the more open minded moms on here in may areas.

That said............

My now 16 yr old does not participate in acrylic nails by her own choice. She did it once last year and it has taken a year for her nails to get normal again. I allowed her to do it because it was formal, etc and I knew she'd hate it but you know.... at 15 she needed to learn cause/effect. She would never ever wear those nails again nor will I.

Hairpainting, whatever,,, no real argument on that one since it washes out. BUT if you daughter opted out.....Good for her for standing up to what she wants vs being "in the group".

As for your daughter being stunted. No way. The other mom is trying to make you feel like a prude. I think you have been an excellent mom to have taught your daughter to choose what she wants and what she does not want to participate in. It takes a strong person to stand up to others like your daughter did. Good job MOM!

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

no, you werent wrong. For one thing, those acrylic nails can ruin your real nails and you dont want to start that at 7.

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R.C.

answers from Dayton on

You are dead on right on this one. What's next, highlights and tanning visits? Here is how you throw an 8 year old "makeover party". Tacky sparkly nail polish and stickers, hairdos, pink sparkle makeup, etc. OMG, people are nuts!

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R.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

I also agree with you. 7 1/2 year olds are too young for the acrylics and especially that movie. I work with that age group, they need to be kids. Yes, playing dress-up and playing with make-up is part of the age, or even having a regular manicure/pedicure (I took my niece when she was 5 for a girls' day out). You sound like a healthy socially responsible mature mother. You stood up for your beliefs (my beliefs too) which is also being great role model for your daughter.

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A.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

Acrylic nails, no way! I did that once in my early 20's and my real nails were paper thin and painful when I finally got rid of them. Never again. I can't imagine what they would do to a small child's nails! Why in the world didn't they just get their natural nails painted? And the movie, NO WAY! I've seen it. It's not one I would even want my 11 year old to see. Some parts are cute, but they do glorify the teen party scence, and also Halloween being the one time that it is OK for girls to dress like tramps or sluts. They actually say this in the movie. And she has the nerve to suggest your opting out is "stunting" your daughter? I applaud you for making a stand. You are NOT a prude, this family seems excited to make their child grow up before she even has a childhood. How very sad.

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R.M.

answers from San Francisco on

No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

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L.C.

answers from Allentown on

YOU are absolutely right. Normally I am a "go with the flow" person, but I think this was all inappropriate.

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J.K.

answers from Sacramento on

Just my opinion, but COMPLETELY inappropriate. We went to a "Spa Day" party last year and the age group was I think 5-7, with the birthday girl turning 6. They had 3 stations where kids could get fingernails painted, toenails and someone who was making fancy hairstyles. My daughter opted only to have her toenails done. No one made her feel left out. All the girls had a fun time and it was just... girlie.

Have you watched " Mean Girls"?? The age rating is PG-13!!

I mean to each his own about what they want to expose their own children to, but having a social gathering should cover a broader spectrum if you ask me.

Hang in there Momma... it's probably just the start of guiding your daughter with the choices you'd like her to make in life. No need to push her into growing up so fast, and no need to second guess your choices for her now.

That Mom sounds like a kook.

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L.A.

answers from Chattanooga on

I also have a 7 1/2 year old and there's no way she would be getting acrylic nails! You did right by your child in my opinion. I agree with the mom's that suggested that it should have been an option to have their own nails painted. And seriously...Mean Girls for 7 year olds? I didn't want my older daughter to watch it when she was 11. What kind of values is she trying to instill in her daughter? Stick to yours! Good job mom!

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

That's insane. manicures? maybe. Acrylic nails? No way.

If you're "stunting" her then it's in a good way!
I would have left too.

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K.I.

answers from Los Angeles on

To each is own, is right! You did what you felt was right for your daughter...don't beat yourself up about your decision.

~ I personally do not like the acrylic nails and probably would have opted out of those but would have asked for her regular nails to be done up and painted, so my daughter wouldn't have felt left out...I also would have let my daughter stay for the movie too, but I am not one to believe that watching a movie or TV show is going to corrupt my kids, even if I don't personally like it...for the record, I think the choice of showing "Mean Girls" was a little strange but....to each is own!

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A.H.

answers from San Diego on

I wouldn't have gotten the nails either. Did your daughter get a regular manicure instead? And what exactly does getting fake nails do for your daughters experience? Not much. Also, that movie is geared more for an older age group. I don't think you did your daughter any dis-service. Your daughter has plenty of time to "experience" nails, movies, etc. in her very young life.

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S.H.

answers from Jacksonville on

My daughter is 16 and I won't allow her acrylic nails! I would let her get a regular manicure with a polish but why does she needs fake nails when she could just grow her own? I believe it's a waste of money to start so young. Also what will her nail beds look like 10 years from now if they decide to take them off?

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K.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

I am with you. No acrylic nails, and PG 13 is intended for children aged 13+!!!

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K.B.

answers from Cincinnati on

I think it is totally inappropriate for a girl that young to have acrylic nails!! Chances are, you/she would not want to get them filled every two weeks, so then she would be left with grown out acrylics and damaged "real" nails. To me, acrylics are sort of like make-up, and make-up is definitely not something I would allow my 7 year old to wear (except on Halloween!).

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P.O.

answers from Harrisburg on

No, it's not appropriate!

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S.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

That mom *is* a mean girl, lol. Don't let her manipulate you into abandoning your high standards.

1 mom found this helpful

S.H.

answers from San Diego on

Not one of my friends would ever in a million years accuse me of being a prude. With that said, I am shocked that more of the mothers weren't making the same choice that you made. Acrylic nails are just bad for your nails, and like anything that is cosmetic and can do harm, shouldn't even be allowed for such a young child. I do think that she could have received a basic manicure without any acrylics so that she was part of the party without the acrylics.

I remember being a young girl and loving my Mom's long nails. I would have been in 7th heaven to get acrylic nails. But, I didn't have the knowledge I do now about how bad they are for me.

She was offended because she perceived your decision as judgment of her parenting and she lashed out as a defense mechanism.

Next time just ask yourself if there's any other way your daughter can join in without actually having to leave. If there isn't another way, then so be it. You're parenting her in the way you see is best and you shouldn't feel "mean girl'd" into changing;)

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T.J.

answers from Modesto on

I didnt even read your whole post, just answering your topic question: NO, children should not have long nails, they are dangerous and also unsanitary. We adults have enough problems with them when we have them. For a summertime treat while school isnt in if you want to do it as a novelty that's one thing, but during the school year and wearing them to school my vote is an abosolute NO.

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R.K.

answers from Boston on

There is no way if I had girls would they be getting acrylic nails! Maybe those cute little press on nails would have been okay or she could have just offered to paint them. The hair spray painting is ok because it washes out and I would have been okay with it. I do not think you are sheltering your daughter it sounds like she does the things that normal little girls do. I think the moms that had no problem with 7 yr olds getting acrylic nails and watching mean girls are the ones with problems.

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

Wow, that is just totally screwed up. Getting nail treatments and hair treatments at the age of 7 is not "experiencing" anything of value. I don't see anything wrong with it when the kids are teens, but this woman has no idea of what's appropriate for these ages. You did fine!

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T.N.

answers from San Diego on

That's about the craziest thing I've ever heard. I can't believe that many moms went a long with it. I probably would have just allowed the manicure (without the acrylic, for heavens sake!).

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A.G.

answers from Houston on

I don't long acrylic nails are ever appropriate.

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H.S.

answers from Detroit on

Acrylics are not appropriate for a 7 year old period!

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K.K.

answers from San Diego on

u don't have to explain anything, don't listen to that lady. I can't believe her. She's pretty much raising a high maintenance princess and well, damaging her at a very young age.

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D.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

Absolutely inappropriate for the age! Totally agree and would have opted out!

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L.M.

answers from New York on

I would have done the same thing as you. Its lots of fun to dress up, and play grown up, I see nothing wrong with painting the nails, but fake nails is over the top.

"Mean Girls" isn't that rated PG-13. Completely inappropriate!

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D.M.

answers from Chicago on

-

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B.

answers from Augusta on

acrylic nails aren't appropriate for children.
There's NO WAY I would allow my child under the age of 15 to have fake nails.
It ruins nails they file down the top of the nail to get them to stick. That's horrible to do to a child's nails. Not to mention what it's teaching her.
I honestly wouldn't let my child hang out with a child that does this. What's next this is on her way to a boob job at 16.
You are making the right choice.

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W.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hello JG,

I may be old fashion .. but that seems pretty inappropriate for 7 year olds. Mani/pedi's are OK, that would seem pretty normal to me .. but acrylic nails? Seriously!? Why are people in such a hurry to MAKE these little girls grow up so fast? It's sad.

Lee press on nails, hey, sure! But long acrylic .. nah, I don't think so!!

I say you were 100% fine in your decision, and your daughter is on the right track not wanting to do the other "beauty" treatments. People act funny when their behaviour is not accepted by others, and they act defensive when that other person is right ..as you were.

I don't like where this world is taking our little ones .. Jersey Shore and 16 and Pregnant characters as tragic role models .. it's just plain scary! Keep up the good work.

~W.

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M.K.

answers from Kansas City on

Manicure- yes. Acrylic? NO WAY! A seven year old is in no way responsible enough to take care of them (keeping them clean, dry, and fungus (if your lucky the tools were sanitize) free). And the movie? While there is a lesson to be learned, I don't think that a seven year old will 'really' grasp the concept. I'm sorry the mom was insulted but when her daughter's fingernails fall off or split short you will be thankful you made the right decision for you and your daughter.

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K.W.

answers from Phoenix on

No, I'm with you.. Some women just have no filter for their kids and that alone should be a crime.. Acrylics?? Are you serious? That's so silly!!! Grown women wear acrylics and little girls get their nails polished..it's not rocket science. What does this little girl have to look forward to when she's older? I'm proud of you for taking your place and showing your daughter who's in charge #1 and #2 sticking to your convictions. That is your right! Gold star for you! We need more moms like you..

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K.B.

answers from St. Louis on

I agree with you. She should've offered to let the girls get regular manicures and I'm sure neither of you would've had a problem. Plus, Mean Girls is a cute movie, but I can see the issue with the age thing. I wouldn't have shown it at an 8 year olds birthday. I didn't get acrylic nails until I was 15 and had a part-time job so I could pay for them myself.

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P.G.

answers from Las Vegas on

I work as a high school counselor. Early exposure does not usually lead to a positive end. The girls continue to want to experience various aspects of womenhood early.

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J.G.

answers from Minneapolis on

GOOD FOR YOU! When you see a group of people behaving like sheep, RUN--don't walk. I'm not even going to get into how inappropriate it is for their AGE, how about their HEALTH!? Children don't know how to take care of acrylic nails and they can harbor all kinds of bacteria and fugus--YUCK!

Here's a little anecdote about age inappropriate tv/movies as well. My son is 1.5 and he watches very little TV but I figured that Sesame was safe when I needed to make an important phone call. It was the episode where everyone had the grouch disease "mine-itis" and would rip things out of other peoples hands. Later that day, we were at a playgroup and guess what!? He rips a toy away from another kid and says "MINE!" just like on the show. He didn't understand that what was going on was wrong, like a child who was 3 would.

The movie Mean Girls is supposed to have a moral, that being a Mean Girl isn't cool...but that's lost on 7 year olds...and they are going to emulate the most straight-forward aspects of that movie and the underlying message is likely to go STRAIGHT over their heads.

You did the right thing and her daughter is going to be stunted, not yours. If not from the way-too-early-focus on way inappropriate stuff (a la Toddlers & Tiaras), then certainly from the fumes of that nail salon.

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V.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Yes to the manicure. A BIG NO to the acrylic nails.

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L.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi,

Kids these days are growing up too soon. When they get older they have nothing to look forward to. However, it's 2011 and things are moving at a faster pace. I think it would have been okay for your daughter to get a manicure, however not the acrylics. It's nice to be able to get pampered once and a while. You could explain to her, that at her age this is only for special occasions and when she gets older and able to afford to pay for it herself she can have it done as often as she likes.

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B.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

\you go girl! you and your daughter are FABULOUS! stick with what you believe in. My daughters don't drink soda or juice. At birthday parties they ask for water. Many moms over the years have said things like "oh come on it's a birthday party" , or "jeesh B., lighten up, let your kids have soda." Funny thing is the kids decided. And it happened again on Saturday night. My daughter is 15 and went to a 15th bday party at the pizza place. We arrived a bit late after her Basketball tourny....right when the waiter was taking their drink order. She ordered water. The mom said..."go ahead and order a soda or a specialty drink". My daughter said, "no thanks, i just want water." The mother turned to the waiter and said "bring her a coke". My daughter looked at the women (I was slowly walking out the door to see what would happen) and she said. "ma'am, I prefer water. Sir, please bring me water." i almost cried as I walked out the door. I was sooo proud of her.

Here is something to think about...she is 7...so when she is 17 and that same mom thinks it "okay" to drink or smoke or do drugs at a party...will you second guess your parenting skills then? I don't think so. Stick to your principles and you and your daughter will be well respected, well liked and well balanced...remember... those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter!

B.
Family Success Coach

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A.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

Totally inappropriate party. I believe that most nail polish is inappropriate for any young girl (and honestly, most adults). It is SO TOXIC. Formaldehyde, dibutyl phthalate and toluene are going to be in any standard nail polish - they can affect the nervous system, reproductive system (infertility and birth defects), cause skin and eye irritation, nausea, vomiting. Do any of you really think those things are OK for you daughters?
http://www.carefair.com/beauty/nails/toxic_nail_polish_84...
And they're only 7/8 - kids grow up too fast anyway. Don't push it on them.

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T.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

Yuck, inappropriate. This coming from a "young, fun mom".

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J.

answers from Detroit on

You are not a prude. In the end, you raise your daughter the way you want to. I also agree that those things are not appropriate for that age or even older for that matter... Was she going to be soaking off the acrylic nails for all the girls 2 weeks later or giving free fill ins?? What about just a regular manicure and maybe pedi's?? And the movie is inappropriate for that age, that is why they have ratings... next she'll be letting them drink (I hope not)!!

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E.T.

answers from Los Angeles on

While I probably wouldn't have allowed my daughter to get the real acrylic nails I would have either allowed her to have a manicure and get her nails painted cute (without the acrylic) or brought some cute stick on fake nails for her to have the manicurist put on her for the party. I see the movie thing from both sides of the coin. I was the mom who wouldn't let my kids watch anything that wasn't G rated. I have four kids and my oldest it 12 now, the youngest will be 6 in a few weeks. I have loosened the reigns on my oldest (he is also my only boy) and as a result my younger 3 (all girls) do see movies I would NEVER have allowed them to watch before. None of them seem any worse for the wear. I can recall times when there have been questions because of things they have seen but it just becomes an open conversation. I understand it from both perspectives but I probably would have watched the movie with my child and then on the way home had intentional conversation about what she thought - and in that way guide it into a teaching moment. At the end of the day though you are the Mama... so you have to do what works for you.

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K.U.

answers from Detroit on

My opinion is that the acrylic nails and choice of movie was inappropriate for their ages.

I really don't understand people that seem to want to allow their children to grow up so fast, instead of just letting them be kids. The girls are only 7 and 8, for heaven's sake...what are they going to do when they are 16? It's one thing to shelter them and not let them do things that most kids their age are allowed to do (like sleepovers, for example, or Disney movies) but it's quite another to "sexualize" them at such a young age, and encourage such behaviors.

Keep doing what you're doing - you are doing fine, you are not a prude at all. There will be plenty of time later for manicures and more "adult" experiences. Don't let this other mom cause you to second-guess and doubt yourself.

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G.G.

answers from Austin on

I think a manicure is fine but definitely not acrylic nails and the movie, Mean Girls! This woman is going to turn her child into one of these mean girls.

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R.M.

answers from Sacramento on

The nails and hair painting could be just for fun for aday or weekend. No big deal to me. I would never allow my daughter to wear it to school. The movie, however is totally not appropriate for girls that age. I'm glad you left. I would have done the same.

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S.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

I'm with you. I wouldn't allow my oldest daughter to get a manicure at a salon until she was in jr. hi. My SIL takes her little girls ALL the time. My MIL offered to take my daughter once and I said no. She was SO shocked!!! LOL This is the way I look at it - there are certain rites of passage that happen at certain ages and give little girls something to look forward to - like high school dances at 14, driving at 16, voting at 18, etc. I feel like mothers are letting their girls do EVERYTHING way too early. What do they have to look forward to? Drinking, drugs, sex, etc?
Good for you!
And, teaching your child now, and setting an example now, makes a HUGE difference.
My daughter used to tell her gramma "My mom would think that is inappropriate." LOL
And, once, my daughter went to a slumber party, and the movie was inappropriate, she and another girl left the room and went and played air hockey instead. I was SO proud.
Hold your ground and you will raise an amazing child - I did - she is the most amazing 19 year old I know!

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M.F.

answers from Youngstown on

I agree with you. My mother was a mother like you, she would have done the same with me and my sisters and we are not stunted in any way. I don't understand why some parents treat their CHILDREN like teens! Why not keep them innocent as long as we can?! I mean come on parents be parents and not try to be too cool! I see the way some very young girls dress and act and I think what are some parents thinking, whats left for their teenage years to experience? Same with boys the things they get watch and listen to and play with... I could go on for days....................

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D.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

I support your decision, and would've done the same if I were in your position. I don't understand why some parents can't wait for their kids to grow up. There's no need to rush them.

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

She should have offered the Manis with out the fake nails. I would not feel comfortable with my little girl having fake nails, I do not even like how they look on adults. The party was not appropriate for her age group.

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D.B.

answers from Honolulu on

Save something for when she gets older!

I took my 5-year old to have little daisies painted on her toes once for something special, but I really think acrylic nails are not age appropriate. And the reason we think that is because there is a bit of a sexual connotation to long, sexy nails. Just a thought.

I think "stunted" is what will happen to original nail beds. Good luck hanging in there and taking the road less traveled.

db

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J.L.

answers from San Diego on

I agree with you. Nails on a child this long are dangerous during child play, recess, and also a 7 year old would have problems cleaning herself after the use in the bathroom. Children grow up fast enough, I have a daughter, I let her get short ones once when she was 8 or 9 i got a lot of flack about it, I was wrong to allow it, they bother her so much I have to take her and have them removed. J.

D.P.

answers from Detroit on

To each his own.

I set my own parenting standards (or rules or whatever you want to call it) and there would be no way I would second guess the way I do things based on what others do- especially in this situation.

I would not judge the people on what they allow and when they allow things. For as long as it is not blatantly harmful to the child or the child of others. I do however take offense with what she said to you. It's like you are being punished for not jumping in the band wagon.

On the other hand would you have allowed you dd to get a manicure without the acrylics?

And I would shake my head NO to mean girls.

E.S.

answers from Dayton on

I see you have a ton of answers but I just wanted to add one more:
GREAT JOB, MAMA!!!
I am in 100% agreement w/ you! :)

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A.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

There is a time and age for everything and yes 7 1/2, 8 is way to young BUT those will be the girls dying their hair by jr high, wearing inappropriate clothing, attitude and makeup and not wanting to be controlled. I remember my mother making it a special occassion when we were allowed to wear makeup at 15, shave in 7th grade etc They were milestones! Something to look forward to! My Mom would also point out 'girls' that looked ridiculous and asked me what I though, usually it was that they looked like clowns lol. You said no nails, your daughter chose no hair spray, movie..while I havent seen it, cant be appropriate when my 21 year old cousin thinks its a good movie! lol

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L.S.

answers from San Francisco on

acrylic manicure no way. They can do much harm and damage to your nails and nailbed. But she could have gotten a manicure, no cutting, just shape nails, buff, and polish. That would have been fine. And perhaps a blow-dry of some sort or a nice braid. Playing Mean Girls for a bunch of 7 year-olds is ridiculous. A movie like Enchanted is a better option. You are not being a prude you are being smart. And many of the mom's were probably just going with the flow and not leading their children. You lead by example and you did a fine job. Don't worry about it so much.

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B.D.

answers from San Diego on

I would've done same as you, regarding the acrylics & movie. Regular mani/pedi, and temporary hair stuff, I'd be OK with from probably age 6+ or so (I have boys so it never came up tho LOL)
My parents were SUPER overly oppressive with me growing up, and it was really hard (and, in hindsight, probably unneccesary, overkill, etc). So I am probably somewhere in the middle. I don't have any girls tho, just 2 rambunctious boys... :-) Sorry you had to deal with her cattiness, you sound like a great mom who loves her daughter and is modeling good behavior and decisions for her to follow. Good luck and take care

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H.S.

answers from Johnson City on

Acrylic nails for a 7 year old? No way! Acrylic nails are very damaging to the nail bed, not to mention they can cause pain and can be prone to infection. Not something that a child should be taking part in. I also wouldn't want my daughter being exposed to the chemicals that are used to apply acrylic nails. They are unhealthy and may include resins and formaldehyde which may play a role in causing cancer. You did exactly what I would have. You're doing a great job, and don't let another mother make you question yourself. You were very responsible and made the appropriate decision in leaving the party.

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K.T.

answers from Scranton on

Hi there, you definately did the right thing and I would've been right there with you saying no if it were my child. I am a licensed Cosmetologist and have working in a Spa for 5 years and even though I work in that environment, I would never allow my child to do anything like that at that age. I can tell you from my knowledge and my own experiences in beauty school that acrylic nails are not good for adult nails either but especially for you childrens nails. The acrylic nail blocks the flow of oxygen to the nail and over a period of time wearing them, they will damage the nail bed and will take a while to return to a healthy nail again. And not only that but the process of creating an acrylic nail sometimes is done with a dremmel which also damages and weakens the nail. The purpose of using one is to rough up the nail enough so that the fake nail will adhere to it better. Childrens nails are definately more vulnerable to this damage because their nail is thinner. If they want fake nails so badly, go to Walmart and buy the press on kind that fall off in a few days. You did the right thing, keep it up mama!

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S.B.

answers from San Diego on

I think acrylic nails are totally inappropriate for a 7 year old. When my daughter was that age, I would have let her have a manicure & pedicure, but told then not to cut the cuticles and definately wouldn't even consider the nails! Pretty much she just soaked in the water, got lotion massaged on her, and put on a pretty pink color.

As far as the movie, Mean Girls is PG-13 and is meant for an older audience. It's a cute movie, but not for that age group.

You did what I would do. Good job for sticking to your instincts and not doing what all the other mom's were doing.

K.B.

answers from Salt Lake City on

They are absolutely NOT appropriate for this age group. We wonder why our children "grow up so fast". I swear, it's Mothers and Fathers out there that push these things on kids when they are way too young. I am glad you stood out in the crowd and left w/your daughter. Your daughter did show up and probably brought a present and was there w/some of her friends. I have never seen the movie Mean Girls but it doesn't sound good. You are not a prude-sound like a great Mother to me. I have an almost 8 yr old daughter myself and I can't believe some of the things she tells me that the girl's say to her. Girls do wear lip gloss, sometimes lip stick, finger nail polish and wear "certain kinds of clothes"-whatever that is. We are talking 2nd grade! I always tell my daughter there will be a time when that is appropriate but now it is not. Way to be a good Mama...

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D.B.

answers from New York on

acrylic nails aren't even appropriate for a girl twice her age. congratulations to you for listening to your intuitive self. I don't think there's anything wrong with playing dress up and having their nails painted as a treat or for fun at a birthday party but to think it's normal and appropriate for such little girls to look, be treated and "act" like grown women is almost criminal. it's not just about inappropriate fingernails- it's the entire mindset... let them be children, treat them like children... MEAN GIRLS is about high school- why would a 7 tear old be watching something of that nature? Save it for the pubescent and adolecent girls... because what will these little girls be doing & watching when they are 10 years old? spray tans and "Fight Club"? we cannot control what they hear and see on the school bus, in the playground and when they are with their friends but it's my experience that exercising control over what your 7 year old sees and does when she is with you makes you a good role model. She has plenty of time to grow up, what's the rush? Its so sad to see the little girls that are treated like their mom's 40 year old best girlfriends.

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

I wouldn't have wanted my daughter wearing fake nails all the time when she was 7, and I sure as hell would never have paid for her to have them, but as part of a birthday party that was essentially an over-the-top afternoon of dress-up, I really don't see the problem.
Knowing my daughter, they would have been broken off ten minutes after being put on anyway.

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M.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I go to www.pluggedin.com to check movie reviews before taking my kids. Here is what they have to say about Mean Girls - which by the way is PG-13.
http://www.pluggedin.com/videos/2004/q2/meangirls.aspx

My daughter is 8. We wouldn't have stayed for the movie either. Acrylic nails?? I seriously thought your post was a joke at first. Um - no! A color of paint would have been fine but seriously - no young child needs acrylic nails.

Don't worry about the Mom. You did the right thing!!

✤.J.

answers from Dover on

You're definitely right. I go through phases myself between having acrylics and not. I've been off of them now for going on 2 years. When I was getting them once in a blue moon I would take my daughter with me & let her get her nails painted, but I would never DREAM of letting her get acrylics! And the movie Mean Girls?? Is that a joke? You would be hard pressed to find a worse film to show to a bunch of 7 & 8 year old girls. I'm thinking that the mom's who had their daughters participate are either unsure of what is involved in getting acrylics put on as well as taken off, and have never seen that movie before because otherwise, if they were educated on both items & still allowed their baby girls to participate, well that's just plain old fashioned piss-poor parenting.

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C.A.

answers from Atlanta on

I have 8 year old twin girls that are ALL girls, but that doesn't mean they get to do everything that an older girl would be allowed to do or can do. Yes, my children have received manicures but not with Acrylic!!!! I have only allowed them to get regular manicures. The basic of basic you can get. My mother (nana) does this for them all the time and she allows them to get all the funky colors-which she knows I don't like but honestly what is it going to hurt-there are worse things I suppose but to actually do the entire deal-no way!
The movie mean girls is NOT appropriate for my girls either and I would have done exactly the same thing as you and I have done it before!!

My own cousin had her son's birthday party and they ended up having some sort of comedian on T.V. but there was some slight adult content and cursing in it. My girls wanted to sit down and watch it with the other kids but I wouldn't allow it-then once I saw that all the kids were entertained by this and the adults were allowing it-I chose to leave. My kids were upset that they had to leave and I didn't explain to them at the time why we were leaving but I just said it was time to go. No other parent seemed to have an issue with it but me so I decided that we would just leave. Keep it simple. Just because what she deems appropriate for her children doesn't mean that everyone else does or should.....so she needs to understand that. At least you know now what type of parent she is and to steer clear of her and the daughter. She will be the type of parent to hand out the alcohol to your daughter-believe me. Don't ever second-guess your parenting style -it's your child and your job to protect them. Yes we are talking about nails but one day its not going to be just about nails but much bigger issues. Maybe because she is in the "field" she doesn't see anything wrong with it but she is wrong to assume and get offended by anyone else who doesn't share this opinion. Don't worry about it....you did what you thought was correct and forget her and her daughter if she can't respect your parenting style. Kids should be kids but sometimes I think some parents are too relaxed on certain things and then they wonder where they went wrong when their kids are stealing from them for drugs????? Really? Hmmm....wonder where you went wrong I just can't imagine where???

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A.A.

answers from Jackson on

no fake nails shoudn't be appropriate for anyone.

Be yourself and love what you've been given. IF strong real nails are part of you then great, if not change your eating habits so that they get stronger.

I will teach my children to love who they are and not change themselves with fake add ons (boobs, nails, hair, tan, inplants of any kind, eye color, lip size, etc) sure there may be a need for plastic sugury but not just for cosmetic use.

A.W.

answers from Greensboro on

BRAVO!! I think those kind of experiences could wait till kids are much older!! My sister let's her 9 yr old grow her nails out long....which i find disgusting and told her so!! And i don't mean long as in "sports" length.....i'm talking "Dragon Lady" length!! They get dirty,jagged and look horrible :P We won't go into how my sister lets both her daughters (9 and 11) watch rated R movies with tons of gore,nudity, explicit nudity and violence!!!! I will NEVER allow my kids to watch something as offensive at that age....but my sister finds no harm in that, She thinks they are old enough to handle it.......yeah,right!! When they find themselves pregnant at 12 or 13,being pawed at by every guy and then passing the same twisted values on to their kids.....God help them! The youth of this nation are fat,lazy, insensitive and down right rude because parents just DO NOT CARE!! So i tip my hat to you for keeping age appropriate values in place.....even the smallest of battles can win the war! :0)

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M.P.

answers from Sarasota on

I was raised by super duper "prude" parents.. So I like to be somewhat In the Middle..
My baby girl is almost 7 and I let her paint her nails and toes- mostly her nails because ive noticed that when they are painted, she doesnt bite her nails BUT I already told her she is NOT allowed to get any fake nails.. Period.. We can revisit that in High School. My Mom and Aunt and rest of the older ladies did not like that I got her nails / feet painted BUT since she is My child, I do what I feel is best for us.. I don't want to be too traditional nor too modern, I want to be just me..
Then I take a look at some girls with children my age- a few that I actually went to school with and the things that their kids do that are Cool.. are NOT cool and they are robbing them of their childhood (my opinion) Kids need to be kids and every age has its milestones and things that they cannot do. I dont agree with kids playing more video games than playing outside.. I see little girls playing makeup but fake nails is too extreme and I JUST got the kids Cable in their room almost 3 years ago- just so that I can monitor what they see.. I remember that I even tasted their baby food before they did :)
Overprotective, maybe ~ But this is how I feel most comfortable and that is all that really matters ~ your comfort level. Mean girls is NOT appropriate for little girls and neither is Acrylic in my book ~ What's next? Dying their hair at 9 and boyfriends at 10?? Not ok... they should still be playing with barbies and playing with childrens make up at that age.. kids are growing up waaaaaaaaay too quickly.... now you have "16 and Pregnant" shows and teenage drop outs becuase they want to 'look' like an adult but are still a kid.. Maybe that's a bit over-reactive but that's how i feel!!

Whatever doesnt feel right to you- isnt. GO by your Gut, it will never prove you wrong!!

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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

I see nothing wrong with a manicure and nail polish, but acrylic nails on a 7 or 8 year old is ridiculous! Good for you! I would have let her get a regular manicure, but no fake nails. I can't imagine how ridiculous a 7 year old girl must look with acrylic nails...What's wrong with these mothers?

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K.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

You absolutely did the right thing. A regular manicure is reasonable but acrylics on a 7 year old is absurd and completely unhealthy for a little girl to be exposed to all those chemicals.

L.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Just want to let you know that I am 200% in your corner on this one. There is absolutely no way that I would have allowed my daughter to have acrylic nails put on or watch that the Mean Girls movie (which btw, is for teenagers and commonsensemedia.org rates it for years 14 and above!). And I completely agree w/ Molly S. and her sentiments on growing up too fast. My goodness those birthday events for a 7 year old child really floor me!!!

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B.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Don't acrylic nails require a lot of maintenance? Maybe business is bad an she is trying to drum up business LOL

I would have done the same thing as you and if that mother wants to talk about you than she doesn't sound worth your time.

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C.R.

answers from Seattle on

I am totally with you on this one!

Updated

I am totally with you on this one!

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T.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

I am totally not a prude but I think the party them was a little adult for a 7 1/2 year old but maybe I am out of touch it is fine to do manicures I think and pamper them but I think just a plain manicure where they picked a color or had decorations added would be fine but not acrylics I do not even get acrylics and I really do not like the idea of someone pressuring me to have my kids hair colored temporary or not. I know the mother owned the business and was proud and did not see anything wrong with her party but it seems it would have been more appropriate for a 12 year old. Some people fall into peer pressure actually most people will go with the flow to not cause ripples. If you do not let your child do certain things at home why would you let them do it somewhere else. I think you did what was right for your child and if her feelings were hurt she should know that everyone does not raise their child the same.

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H.B.

answers from Waterloo on

sounds like 7 going on 18 to me...

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L.L.

answers from Topeka on

No not from a salon the other cute play ones fine but really not the fakey nails to wear I'll get them here & there the last time was 5 yrs ago for my wedding.
I guess I would of let my daughter particiate since it was a paid for event then just to remove them later, not hard to do.I don't see why they just didn't have regular maicures soaking,softening & nail painting that would of been alot better.

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L.L.

answers from Orlando on

omg. no way. lol. acrylic nails totally ruin your nails. and their fingers are so tiny! my daughter is 8. i would TOTALLY do a spa party for her .. with manicures and pedicures.. "maybe" even the hair spray painting (if i knew what that was...? lol) but acrylics no. i got them when i was a teenager and i paid for them myself. they are expensive. also i remember hitting my nail on something and man did that hurt! or towards the time when you need a fill, half the nail is kinda coming off, etc. i would have let my daughter get a manicure while the other girls got acrylic (which i just find crazy!)

oh as far as the movie... my daughter has seen it before. once. but i can see how it would be inappropriate...i would never show that movie with other kids over w/out clearing it with the parents 1st. plus if that movie is on tv i always find something else to watch, and..we don't own that movie.

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A.B.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I think you did a great job. This made me a little nauseated - thinking about such young children buying into (or rather, being sold?) the idea that this is what women have to do to be pretty / cool / accepted...and so early on.

There will always be situations you disagree with or that run contrary to your family's values. I think sometimes we can go with the flow and live and learn, but other times, it's more than ok to stick to your guns. You're teaching your daughter a POWERFUL lesson in how to be gracious and yet not compromise herself or alienate others. Too many kids go with the flow - and get pulled in the wrong direction! - because they are not equipped with the social skills to articulate their values and feel confident in being different than their peers in certain situations.

I think if you had been acting like you were above the activities going on (and believe me, if there had been a like-minded mom there, I probably wouldn't have been able to stop myself from acting a bit shocked and talking about it) then perhaps an apology may be in order. But if that was not the case and you were gracious, then I honestly wouldn't worry. No one will ever agree with our parenting decisions all of the time, so we have to know what we want, what we believe, and have confidence in our choices - just as we're teaching our kids that very thing.

No worries, mama!

PS: Who starred in Mean Girls? Oh yeah, you mean the girl that's been in and out of rehab the past five years? What a great, positive role model for our little angels! LOL - give me a break...

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J.S.

answers from Dallas on

Sheesh! long acrylic nails on a young girl.... Absolutely not. I personally don't like fake nails period! You are raising your daughter to be happy with who she is and she is not being sucked into the whole "plastic girl" trend (that is what they call the girls on the Mean Girls movie).

You are doing a great job with your daughter! Don't change a thing =-)

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R.D.

answers from Kansas City on

Acrylic nails are fine for a 7.5 year old??? NOT!! WHAT was this mother thinking?!?!?!! She wasn't, that's what. This makes me think of the {horrible} show "Toddlers & Tiaras" making those babies look like prostitutes.

You are doing a FINE {wonderful} job mothering her, and the other 'mom' is trying to be more of a friend. This never works! Sheesh. Some people!

H.X.

answers from Los Angeles on

JC. I'm with you on this one. Would have done the same thing. Also, in this day and age, consider that you are doing something right when you aren't doing what most people are doing. And seriously, acrylic nails? Sounds like the mom was trying to create some future business. For starters, its not like you'd maintain them. Then to grow out your ruined nails for 8 weeks after? I don't think so.

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C.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

People still get acrylic nails? i know they do, but, they are very 80's. Because mom does nails, i think it's fine if she wants her daughter to have them. but, how many kids does she know w/ fake nails? The colored hair sounds fun. and mean girls is inappropriate.

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

i'm with you.
khairete
S.

T.M.

answers from Reading on

GOOD JOB MOMMA!!!
I haven't read any of the other responses and I realize you have a ton of them already, but I thought I'd add my two cents.
I have a newly turned 6 year old who on occasion is allowed to have her nails painted a pretty color and that is where it stops! No make-up, no pre-pre-training bra, no fake stuff to make her look older than she is.
I was at the grocery store today and noticed a little girl (maybe 10) helping her mom shop. I thought wow, that's great-then the girl turned around and her eyes were lined with black eyeliner and she had dark blue eye shadow on, lip stick, the whole ten yards. Then I looked at the mother who was wearing about the same amount of make-up and thought...like mother like daughter. That's how life works. We are able to influence our children in a way that no one else can. It could be postive it could be negative but it's our chance to mold them into who we want them to grow up to be. Continue making decisions with the conscience that God gave you and I think you and your daughter will be alright!

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M.C.

answers from Tampa on

I would have allowed the manicure without the application of the acrylic nails. Receiving a mani could be fun at any age. A friend of mine's 3 year old already had one (mani/no acrylic) and LOVED it. Actually, I can't stand the feel of anything fake on my nails so I only ever receive mani's w/o acrylic too.
I never would allow my 7 year old to receive acrylic though. It destroys the nail.

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K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

I think manicures are okay for a 7 year old...acrylic nails, hair spray painting, and Mean Girls--not so much! You are her mother--you do what is right.

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J.M.

answers from Dallas on

What is right for some is not for others. Hooray for you! I would have done the same.

G.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

That scenario gives me the creeps! Like those Bratz dolls.
If you ask me, you're fine and they are warped.

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W.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

100% support your parenting decision. I think the movie Mean Girls is much too mature for a 7-8 year old, and although I was allowed to have long nails and nail polish as a second grader, I support your decision to not allow your daughter to have acrylics and hair spray. You are her mother, and you make the decisions. Don't allow someone else's "offense" to bother you. (Keep in mind that the host owned the shop and is surrounded by clients that think her service is quite normal.) If you are friends with the mom and find a need to defend your decision, maybe say something like, "it seems like the girls were having a lot of fun. I'm sorry, but my girl really isn't ready/mature enough for ----."

If it were me and I knew what was going to take place, I probably would have quietly declined the invitation and said our family had other plans. My children are much younger, but I'm already quietly declining party invitations that I think inappropriate (like a Monday night 5pm birthday party for 2-3 year olds and even a Saturday 7pm party...geez, I need my children to have somewhat regular bedtimes!). My girlfriends may be a little offended that I don't come, but my children come first.

Great job, Mom!

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

Just have to add the chorus of approval for you. A little mani and/or pedi for fun, fine. Acrylic nails are just wrong for everyone, especially kids. They totally destroy the nail bed, I can't imagine who would think that's OK. And I don't even know what hair spray painting is, but it doesn't sound like something I would go for either. Stick to your guns, and I hope most of your daughter's other friends are normal girls with normal moms.

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D.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

Totally inappropriate. There's plenty of time for girls to become inundated with pressure to "get their hair and nails did." I think you're on the right track on exposing your daughter to museums, zoos and positive life experiences that don't involve consumerism and superficiality.

I love the movie Mean Girls myself, but it wouldn't be one I'd want my daughter to see at too young an age.

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J.J.

answers from Phoenix on

I am pretty easy going, but fake nails is too much. I would have asked for a manicure - minus the fake nails. I think they are a bit tacky even on ladies old enough to wear them. Good for you mom!

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J.C.

answers from Naples on

I think taking your daughter to national parks and museums will go a lot further in helping her to develop into a well-rounded, interesting young woman than fake nails! My daughter spends time between me and her father's place and I just found out recently that he bought her some fake nails. I am totally against it and told her so, saying it is not age appropriate. Are we in a hurry for our children to grow up? Playing "dress up" and putting on heels in the spirit of playing different roles and exploring what it is to be a woman is one thing. Actually giving our girls items that should be reserved for grown women such as makeup and fake nails is giving them a false impression that this is part of being a little girl. I applaud you in sticking to your values and going against the grain. Let's face it; sometimes the emperor has no clothes on and only some of us notice.

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C.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I don't think that it is appropriate for a 7 1/2 year old to be getting acrylic nails and I definitely don't think the movie is appropriate either. However, I am wondering why you allowed your daughter to attend the party in the first place if you so strongly disagree with what the hosting parent was doing. I believe that I would be offended too if someone attended my child's party but didn't participate in any of the events. If you were doing so to be nice then an alternative suggestion would be to find a time (other than the birthday day) to drop by and give a gift and wish the child happy birthday.

V.C.

answers from Dallas on

You absolutely did the right thing. You modeled great behavior for you daughter by not giving into peer pressure and by not allowing yourself to be dumbbed down.
Besides all the other problems around age inappropriate, those nails can lead to infection and it is absolutely impossible to wash the germs off them.
Good job,
Victoria

K.M.

answers from Chicago on

NO WAY IN HADES WOULD I ALLOW MY DAUGHTER TO GET THOSE NAILS OR WATCH THAT MOVIE!!!
Sorry now that I got that off my chest I can be civil. I was allowed to wear the fake long nails that were press on with the tape/glue not real glue as a kid (mommy always had the acrylic nails) and I was allowed to play with KID make up and when we went to the make up store (merle norman) I got a make over too but it was soft pink eyeshadow a little blush and lip gloss to keep me busy while mommy shopped. I am now obssed with make up and working to be a make up artist. Your daughter chose not to spray her hair (silly idea by the way) and I commend her for that. Was it not an option to simply have a regular manicure to get her nails cleaned up and painted? You are not prude you are not wrong and I think it is not acceptable of her to push her business and her values on you or anyone else.

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