Do You Think It Would Be Ok to Bring My Girls to a Baby Shower?

Updated on March 30, 2012
M.. asks from Detroit, MI
30 answers

My neighbors baby shower is Sunday at a cute restaurant. The person that sent me the invitation doesnt know me. My husbands only day off is Sunday and he has some stuff to do, but he can bring my son with him. He cant get a lot done with the baby girl obviously, and I know my 7 year old girl would probably rather go with me than work on a boat with her dad, I could be wrong, but Im guessing.
Anyways, they werent technically invited, but do you think anyone would mind if I brought the girls?

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So What Happened?

Ahhhh! Sorry, no kids! Yikes!

I should have asked about CIO instead. LOL Im kidding. I got it!

Featured Answers

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M.G.

answers from Kansas City on

I'm the stick in the mud. I am truly irritated when I go to a function that should be adults only and someone has a little one with them. I'm a Mom and I get the issue with the hubby, but if I've gotten away from my own kids, I don't want to spend the afternoon with someone elses.

Just my two cents.

M

17 moms found this helpful
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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I would not bring any invited guests to any event.
Hubs needs to deal. And possibly change his plans a bit, if needed.
Or get someone to watch the kids.
No way would I do this!

14 moms found this helpful
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H.P.

answers from Houston on

As everyone else has said, call the host/RSVP person. I get annoyed when people assume that their children are welcome. I don't like uninvited guests, period, but maybe that's just me.

At my baby shower, I did not like that some people brought their children or had friends tagging along. Somebody even brought a friend with a child who insisted on helping me open presents. The mother said and did nothing.

Yeah, don't assume that it's okay, especially since it's not at their house where the children can be entertained by a television in the other room.

8 moms found this helpful

More Answers

L.B.

answers from Biloxi on

I am sorry, if the invitation was not addressed to Molly and children - then your children were not invited and it would be rude to bring them.

Especially as the shower is at a restaurant - that is a huge clue that it is most likely adults only AND already on a set budget of X people for X dollars and food.

If you do not have child care for your children, then decline the invitation and bring a gift over to your neighbor later in the week.

JMHO

10 moms found this helpful

D.D.

answers from New York on

It's not a technical thing. You were invited to a baby shower your children were not. If your hubby can't watch them then make other arrangements or call the hostess and let her know you won't be attending (assuming you've already rsvp'ed but that's another conversation altogether). Don't be one of those people who takes their kids along 'because they won't be any problem' because they usually are but people are too polite to tell you.

10 moms found this helpful
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P.K.

answers from New York on

If your daughters were not invited, they get to stay home. I would not
entertain the thought of having them attend. I would not even call and ask
because you then open Pandoras box. I am sure there are others that
have babysitting issues. Since it is at a restaurant, there is a cost pp.
So leave kiddies home with Dad. Your daughter will survive working on the
boat for one afternoon.

9 moms found this helpful
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M.S.

answers from Dallas on

I would never take uninvited guests, particularly children, without checking with the hostess first. The answer is usually yes, but well worth the email or call.

8 moms found this helpful
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A.G.

answers from Houston on

I would mind if someone showed up with their kids at my shower, unless it was my bestie who has a nursing newborn within the month.

7 moms found this helpful
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K.P.

answers from New York on

Nope. Don't bring them. Yes, the hostess (who doesn't know you) would mind- especially if she's paying "per person". If the guest of honor is someone really important to you, then your husband needs to do his "stuff" early in the morning or late in the afternoon so that you can attend. If you can't find a sitter, then you're going to have to decline this invite and send a gift.

6 moms found this helpful
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B.B.

answers from Missoula on

They might mind, and they would have every right to. If you want to bring your kids you need to call and ask permission to do so.

6 moms found this helpful

C.S.

answers from Kansas City on

Leave them with Daddy or a sitter... I never take my kids to baby showers, but for some reason some people think it's okay. They don't consider how it changes the food portions and the atmosphere. For some reason any time I've attended a shower the other guests children bug me for food, drink, dessert, etc rather than ask their own mom. I usually tell them to ask their mom to get it for them, but it's still rather annoying.

A person I didn't even invite attended my bridal shower (she was friends with the hostess, but not with me), and brought along her 10 year old daughter. I suppose the hostess and the girl's mother assumed that since there wouldn't be a stripper that it was okay. However, I felt quite awkward opening lingerie with a kid staring. :o)

5 moms found this helpful

K.M.

answers from Chicago on

I would mind terribly, they were not invited. Respectfully decline the invitation and forward the gift if you have already purchased it.

5 moms found this helpful

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

I see you have already made your decision (and I agree--no kids, lol)... but just for the future:
Any time that a shower type event is hosted at a restaurant (instead of say, at someone's home), then you cannot just show up with extra people. At a private home, things would undoubtedly be more relaxed, but at a restaurant, you have no idea how much space the hostess has reserved nor what the food costs would be or how they are calculated (per plate vs. buffet).

And regarding bringing along children to a non-children event, as another poster pointed out, you also would have to consider that a child might really alter the atmosphere... opening sex toys/gag gifts or lingerie in front of a child? Hmm... awkward.

4 moms found this helpful
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K.L.

answers from Savannah on

Definitely call and ask if it would be ok . . . especially since you do not know the hostess.

4 moms found this helpful

L.U.

answers from Seattle on

Your daughter was not invited. I would 100% mind if someone brought their kid to a baby shower where no other children were invited. In fact, I specified on my invites NO CHILDREN.
I love kids, I have 3! But, those couple of hours were bliss without any kids there. Husband can certainly take care of his own children for 2-3 hours while you go to a baby shower.
L.

4 moms found this helpful
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K.B.

answers from Cincinnati on

I think the baby is fine, but not the 7 year old. If you would have to go with the kids, then you should just stay home.

3 moms found this helpful
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S.T.

answers from New York on

Yes they would - maybe not the baby - but definitely the 7 yr old. Showers are one of the most boring things in the world. Any 7 yr old will kbe climbing the walls after an hour and she'll increase the cost of the event since the restaurant will count her as a person. If you are very lcose firends with your neighbor and know her family very well then you migt be able to get away with it - but if you don't know the person throwing the shower then you don't know the mom-to-be very well.

My husband's cousin brought her 6 yr old daughter to my baby shower and although I didn't mind in the least I could tell she was less than pleasant for those sitting around her. Showers are boring - very boring - and even for your baby - unless she's a young baby (not crawling or walking) don't bring her either.

When my kids were those ages I avoided anythign like that with them. If I couldn't find a granparent or friend to take them for the afternoon (swap babysitting) then I'd stay home. YOU can always get a gift for the baby and just "stop in" to the shower for an hour or so - make your appearance and get out of there - or meet the mom-to-be when she arrives home with a gift and a pizza for dinner or something like that.

From my perspective - if I had an "out" to avoid going to a shower for someone I'm not that close iwth I'd take it and run! I can't stand showers unless it's for someone I love. ;o) Buy a gift card to Target and call it a day!

3 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Just get a sitter and leave your kids at home.
I've never heard of any baby shower where people brought kids along.

3 moms found this helpful
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J.K.

answers from Milwaukee on

If the baby is still nursing, then definitely bring her and don't even ask about it. (just my opinion) but definitely ask about the 7 year old. It is rude to bring uninvited guests. :( Some people also think it is rude to ask the host/hostess if you can bring extra guests - so it's kind of a lose-lose. :( You might be better off just not going.

2 moms found this helpful

F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

These are situations where you have to ask yourself if YOU would like someone to show up to a party you are hosting with their kids who were not invited. If I were hosting this party and you did this and there were no other kids there, I would be pretty upset. I would leave them home with dad for some father/daughter bonding. Good luck.

2 moms found this helpful
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L.F.

answers from San Francisco on

Don't bring your child unless you specifically have asked and the parents-to be are ok with it. If the invite didn't say children welcome or families welcome, don't bring your kids.

2 moms found this helpful

E.S.

answers from Dayton on

Oh there's always that one stick in the mud who will mind...but I wouldn't. :)
Can you call the hostess or the neighbor?

1 mom found this helpful
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S.E.

answers from New York on

if its a sit down dinner its going to cost them for the extra plate.. when my family has things like that they always do buffet style for that exact reason ... i would see if u can find out from someone u do know what kind of dinner it is and if there will be other kids there.. if the answer is yes to both it shouldnt be a big deal... but even if it is a buffet style thing if there arent going to be any other kids there i think it would still be a little weird to bring yours

1 mom found this helpful

M.L.

answers from Houston on

A few people brought their daughters to my baby shower. It was no big deal to me really, but I already knew the girls from church.

1 mom found this helpful
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B.B.

answers from New York on

You can bring the baby. Since your husband is actually off, bringing your daughter would be rude. But you already know that. :)

1 mom found this helpful
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K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

I would call either the guest of honor or whoever is listed on the RSVP and ask.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.B.

answers from Philadelphia on

If you're able to contact them, I would. You can offer to pay for any food and drinks for the girls as well. Try calling first. I'm sure it would be fine, just be thoughtful of a crying baby and bored 7 year old, lol.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

1 mom found this helpful
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L.M.

answers from New York on

Haven't read any of the replies. Yes, people would mind. This is NOT a kids event.

1 mom found this helpful
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C.B.

answers from Detroit on

Personally, yes, I would mind. You don't know the person. Unless you clear it with who ever is throwing it, of course. But the thing is, is that there's too much going on at a baby shower. You risk missing out on all the whoopdedoo when you have to chase after your girls. And sure shootin', in a party atmosphere, their levels of excitement are going to sky rocket. "Can I help open the presents??????", "Where is your baby?", y'know? Stuff like that. It's ONLY for a couple hours, ONE day. Are you really sure your hubby can't pitch in and take over for one day? I mean considering how much time you normally put in, he ought to be able to allow you a couple hours one day. And as others have already said, if it isn't possible, then stay home and get the gift to the mom to be.

K.B.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Without asking, I would say "no", not if it's at a restaurant. You could always call the host and ask.

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