Do You Think Fat Is a Bad Word?

Updated on August 01, 2012
L.M. asks from Hicksville, NY
24 answers

Do you think "fat" is a no-no?
I have a couple of friends who forbid the use of the word.
I don't mean when you say "You're fat!" in a nasty way to someone. Of course, that is never nice. I am talking about saying "I'm a little fat right now, I need to exercise and eat a little healthier" or "we don't want to eat too much junk and get fat" or even acknowledging when someone is fat. Do we have to say euphemisms for the word like "large" or "big" or in describing someone if their most descriptive trait is being fat, do we have to find something else and say "the one with the brown hair".

What do you guys think? Personally I think it is not that big of a deal to use the word. My kids absolutely know calling someone "fat" is totally not nice but they are not forbidden to use the word.

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So What Happened?

Thanks so much everyone for "weighing in" LOL! I appreciate it. I absolutely think it is not so much the use of the word but teaching our kids to be kind. Like "old". You can say someone is old but you don't go up to someone and say wow you are old. That's mean. Thanks again, I like that we can have discussions on almost anything and not have a fight but just hear points of view!)

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L.H.

answers from San Diego on

Really, fat? If something or someone is fat, they're fat, large, robust, doesn't matter how you slice it. Sheesh.

Grumble, grumble, PC, grumble....

6 moms found this helpful

N.P.

answers from San Francisco on

I don't think fat is a bad word any more than I would think thin is a bad word. Just because we would prefer to be one over the other, doesn't inherently make the word itself bad.

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A.P.

answers from Janesville-Beloit on

I don't think it is a "bad" word, but it's probably not one that I will use around my daughters, particularly to describe myself or others. I'd prefer that they think of bodies in terms of "healthy" or not, rather than fat. I think forbidding the word is extreme, though!

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F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

I assume this is a piggy back off my R Word question.

I am fat and I use the word as such. Just as I call someone skinny, that's what they are. I don't say they are "slim or slight". However, if you use it like, "you are a fat slob", its different intent and not nice. I don't have a problem using "fat" when simply stating the facts.

And I'm not overweight, everyone else is underweight. =)

8 moms found this helpful

M..

answers from Detroit on

I dont think it is. And I dont get offended when people call me a "smoker" either. Pick your poison I guess.

But yes. We eat junk in moderation and when my children try to overdo it, I tell them, They cannot eat this whenever they want because they will get fat and unhealthy. And the same reason I dont hand them over a cigarette.
But my children also know they cannot go around calling someone fat, clearly, that is rude.

Im gonna quit I promise! **SIGH***

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B..

answers from Dallas on

Oh lord, fat is an ADJECTIVE!!! It's a descriptive word. What should I say, "plus sized?" No. A third of Americans are OBESE and FAT, not plus sized, thick, or chubby. Do I walk around calling people fat? No! I don't care what someone weighs. However, I'm not being a jerk to describe someone physically as fat. If I'm describing someone to another person, I have no problem referring to them as fat. It's no different then describing someone as thin. It's a LITERAL description. I would never forbid my child from saying fat, look at the world around him!! I will not tolerate using the term as a derogatory insult, though. As a description, yes.

We're so dang PC as country and scared to be honest about the state of our country. No one will ever change, if we aren't honest with ourselves. People are fat. A LOT of people.

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J.M.

answers from Chattanooga on

Jeeze no!

Like Bug says... it's an ADJECTIVE! If I want to talk about my own fat, that's my prerogative.

Besides, if you're fat you're fat. Even if you have a legitimate reason for being fat, it doesn't change the fact. (and I am NOT saying that like it's a bad thing... I went through a fat phase myself, before I got some thyroid and depression issues addressed...)

I absolutely believe in being tactful and polite when talking about it... but ANY word can be over-used or misinterpreted to become hurtful... Look at what has happened to words like 'queer' and 'faggot'... Believe me, being called 'morbidly obese' is JUST as insulting as being called 'fat', when used in a derogatory manner.

5 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

There are people who will make a HUGE deal out of ANY word. That's been proven here this evening - even if it wasn't a huge deal - people will still take it out of context. It happens EVERY DAY. Do I think it's a bad word? No. It's a word.

Calling someone "fat" is not nice. That's true. If I want to say "I feel fat" that's fine. If you were to tell me - hey, you are looking a little fat....I might agree with you. Will I like it? No. But sometimes the truth hurts. My doctor has already told me I need to lose weight....urgh...

The rule in our home - simple - if you don't want it done (or said) to you - don't say it someone else....

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

I never heard that before.
You hear 'trim the fat' and 'fat cats'.

What do you think of 'bastard'?
I watch Fawlty Towers and there's this scene where Basil discovers a guest who was pretending to be a noble was actually a con man and he just shrieks at him
"Bastard!" and it cracks me up every time.
It's sort of been replaced by 'illegitimate' but there's something so satisfying about calling your ex a rotten bastard regardless of his actual parentage.

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C.M.

answers from Chicago on

It was one of the words that was banned at my daughter's preschool. I then asked the teacher if "skinny" was also banned because I was a very thin child and people called me "skinny" all the time in a mocking way. You can make fun of someone for anything.

I think that teaching children to ignore the fact that they are overweight is not good, but nor should they be trying to be like supermodels.

In our house we use the word "healthy" or "unhealthy" to describe weight. Either you are a healthy weight or you are an unhealthy weight. I think that takes the focus off of society's expectations and puts the focus on your individual health.

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G.H.

answers from Chicago on

The word never bothered me until my almost 7 yr old daughter used it to describe herself comparing herself to a cover model.

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E.D.

answers from Seattle on

Here's how we do it in my house:

1. I try not to insult my body in front of my girls. If I don't want them to do it to themselves, I best practice that myself. Granted, there are days when I objectify myself, pick myself to pieces, and feel less than pretty. Still, I gotta practice self love, and that means that no matter how I look believing that I deserve respect - even from myself. If it wouldn't be okay to say at someone else, it's not okay to say to myself.

2. Fat can mean a few things. For example, I'll say, we need to eat something filled with fat and protein so that our brain feels strong! Or I'll say, that kitty is fat.
Fat is a loaded word when it becomes synonymous with, less than, disposable, awful, ugly, etc.

3. I try to teach my kids context. I've explained that people are lots of different shapes and sizes. We're all equally valuable. Grownups sometimes call other grownups fat to be mean, so we have to be careful when we use the word fat. It's okay to use when we're describing an animal or thing, but when we're talking about people we try to avoid using fat, because it can hurt people's feelings (even if we didn't mean it that way).

4. Rather than saying, "you don't get to eat that junk food because you could get fat", I say, "That food tastes good but it's empty. It doesn't help our body to feel strong. / It's okay to eat treats sometimes, but if we eat too treats in excess, it can hurt our body."

5. For me, it's really not about being PC or avoiding the truth. It's simply about recognizing the cultural context of language, and trying to use my language to teach/affirm rather than condemn. I have two beautiful little girl children. They are going to be bombarded from every corner with the message that they aren't enough. The least I can do is show them how it's important to respect our bodies, and treat 'em right, and also, no matter how our body looks, our spirit is still worthy of dignity and respect. When it comes down to it, it's a drop in the bucket. But still, it's worth doing. I think it's important for me too.

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L.U.

answers from Seattle on

It's not a bad word...but boy will it give your kids a complex!
Sometimes when kids are getting ready to grow they plump up a bit and they are going to feel pretty awful if they think they are fat. Instead I try to talk about the benefits of eating healthy, not the consequences of unhealthy eating.
L.

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

I don't think it is a 'bad' word, necessarily.

I have a dear friend who is overweight. We have had conversations in our house about how some people are fat, and that we don't need to talk about it or point it out to them.

"Some people are okay with being fat and some people aren't and we don't know, so it's not our business to mention it. There are plenty of other things to talk about."

I do hear 'fat' (and see 'fat'... as in fat suits on actors, etc.) as being derisive, the butt of jokes, etc. We tend to avoid that sort of humor because it's pretty one-note. Otherwise, using the word isn't a big deal, so long as we are being considerate of others' feelings.

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T.R.

answers from Orlando on

I don't think it's a bad word, but using it in the context of body image is something I am more aware of, now that I am raising a daughter, so I don't use it, not in that context anyway. :)

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J.A.

answers from San Francisco on

I don't like to use it and I don't like my daughter to use it so she doesnt have to think about that at her age. I just don't want her to worry about body image yet.

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S.C.

answers from Des Moines on

This girl sums it up so much better and more eloquenty than I ever could:

http://www.upworthy.com/internet-calls-fat-girl-fat-and-h...

But no fat is just a word. (And trust me I have a lot of it-- morbidly obese, doing weight loss surgery this fall)

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L.O.

answers from Detroit on

yes.. and no.. my hubs family has major issues with anorexia.. bulima.. they talk about who is fat.. how much weight so and so lost.. and how mcuh weight so ans so gained..

Before my daughter was born.. I told my hub.. we would nto pass this fat insanity on to our girl. People come in different sizes.. It is better to be the right weight for your body.. but being overweight is not the worst thing in the world.

So we do not discuss fat in our house. ever. My inlaws know that we do not say things around my daughter .. I will protect her from this insanity with all of my being. My daughter will grow up with healthy body imaage.

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H.P.

answers from Houston on

I think that these are their issues and not yours or mine. If you want to be sensitive and not use it in their presence, that's fine, but it doesn't make the word a bad one.

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T.A.

answers from Seattle on

It's mean to refer to any person as fat. Period. Overweight/athletic/large frame, anything is better. I don't let my kids say fat when talking about people, and I don't put it in their head that they're going to get fat, or a fear of it. We focus on the good, as in it's not healthy, it will make your body sick, etc. Yes animals, things can be fat but not people with feelings, as the poster below me says.

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L.L.

answers from Orlando on

Once when my daughter was 4ish, she was swinging at the park. And a bigger lady came up to me and my friend and asked who "that" girls mother was (mine) Apparently my daughter was saying "Look at that fat lady!" and her and the other little girl were laughing. I was mortified. That is when I had to have a talk to let her know even though "fat" is not a bad word, it makes people upset if you call them fat. It's so hard to explain to a child that to say someone is skinny or thin is "OK" but fat is not! Anyway, just made me think of that story. I don't think it's a bad word, but kids should be taught it's not nice to say that to people

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R.M.

answers from San Francisco on

It depends on the context and the frequency, and how often you say it about yourself around the kids.

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J.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

It's all about context. I would never refer to someone else as fat, even if they are, because it is such a loaded word. Animals are fat, inanimate objects are fat, but I tell my children we don't call people fat because it is a word that can hurt feelings. So yes, I'd tend to use "big" or "overweight" or something else to describe them if their weight was a primary identifying descriptor. I am very conscious about never using the word fat to describe myself, because I am not fat at all, even when I feel that I'm over my ideal weight. I think it would be one thing if I *were* overweight, but no one wants to hear a thin woman describe anyone, including herself, as "fat."

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L.H.

answers from New York on

I wish the word, "fat" was banned from our house, because it has caused so many problems. My MIL calles anyone not underweight, "fat" and she means it in a nasty tone as if that is not what you want to look like. (She's 93 lbs. and my hubby's only 139 lbs., which is really underweight.) Anytime they see someone overweight on TV or in public, they start laughing and making rude comments. (I have to shush them and feel like I have 3 kids instead of 1.) One day I got a phone call from an angry parent when my son was in elementary school telling me that my son called their son, "fat." When I ask him why, he said, because they wouldn't stop calling him "nerd and geek" when he asked them too. (Well, touche.) I told the parent that their son had to agree not to call him names either. Then there's the problem it causes with eating....Yep, they have made my son the pickiest eater in town and blamed me! Why? I control my cholestrol through diet, which means I'm always counting the calories and fat in my diet to keep the percentages right, so I can stay healthy. They feel our son saw me eating healthy and became a picky eater that way. (I eat a ton of food...mostly fruit and vegies thank you.) It doesn't make sense, because they call me fat! I'm not fat. I'm 135 lbs. now, because I went off my diet for a month due to being so busy, but will go back down to 120-125 lbs. once I get back on my diet to keep my cholesterol in check. Even at 120 lbs., they still call me fat...That is normal weight and there is no way I will ever be 110 lbs. like the day when we got married. I'm too old for that weight and I'm a mature curvy woman. Ok, back on track....So my family's so afraid of getting fat, that they hardly eat. MIL cuts the fat off the bacon she cooks for our son, but uses tons of oil and sugar when she cooks. When I cook the bacon, I wait until she's out of the room and just quickly cook it in the microwave. The boy needs some meat on his bones for pit's sake. So as you see "fat is a 4-letter word" for me.

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