Do You Stick to a Rigid Sleep/ Nap Schedule or Are You Flexible?

Updated on October 24, 2011
L.B. asks from New Rochelle, NY
20 answers

I know that routines and plenty of sleep are important for babies, and sticking to a schedule has been helping my 9.5 month old sleep better. But I am starting to feel like a slave to the schedule. Should I pass up on activities (like a mommy and me yoga class once a week) so that I can give him a nap starting at 11 every day, or can I sometimes delay the nap by an hour? Bedtime is 8 pm, and I am pretty good about sticking to that, but since I am the only one who can get him to sleep, I would also like to have some occasional flexibility there. What do you moms do? Strict schedule or flexible? How does it work for you?

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.C.

answers from New York on

I have to say that I was always flexible with my daughter's nap schedule. And she is a great sleeper now at 5.

I think that life has to move in so many directions. You sound like you need some flexibility - so take it. I think it's a waste of time to be a slave to nap time. I know moms who sit out in the car while a party is going on so that their kid can nap. I say wake them up and let them enjoy life!! :)

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.K.

answers from New York on

I believe in a schedule but also flexibility. A child that learns to be flexible
is a much easier child in the long run. A class once a week will not
disrupt his schedule. I have seen children on such a rigid schedule that
they cannot sleep somewhere else, etc. Somedays you will not want to
disrupt a schedule, but other days you will say let's go! I would work on
getting someone else to put him to sleep or you will be a slave to him.

2 moms found this helpful

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.R.

answers from Seattle on

I always had the mentality that you can't control life and teaching your kids to be flexible is an important life skill to have. Plus you deserve to do things for you every once in awhile. If your son can handle a bit of change in the routine and it doesn't mess him up at night then I say go for it. I have a four year old and a 14 month old and we are definately flexible. I think it teaches them to adapt. It gets easier to be more flexible as they get older too.

2 moms found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

A little of column a a little of column b. You want to have a flexible kid so changing up the schedule without throwing off the whole thing is good. I tended to go with this is when you get up and this is when you go to bed and everything in between we rolled with. Sometimes even bedtime went out the door.

1 mom found this helpful

J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

As long as mine got a nap at that age, I was happy. =)

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.K.

answers from Phoenix on

I'm pretty strict with the schedule but I'm flexible when I have to be.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.A.

answers from New York on

I think that he has a slightly different schedule with us, my parents and with the manny. some days are better than other's in terms of napping.

our DS is one this week. We've been going to mommy & me for about a month. the first three times, he fell asleep in the car on the way there, and missed half of it because I didn't have the heart to wake him. this weekend he napped before the car ride, was awake and screaming the entire way over, and was cranky throughout.

my point being, life with little ones is unpredictable. sometimes they will sleep when they want to, despite your best efforts, and other times, they will be awake and cranky again, despite your best efforts.

Good luck to you.

1 mom found this helpful

C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

We mostly stick to it but our daughter has a big brother in 2nd grade and sometimes he has something going on in the afternoon that is too important/fun to pass up! So, most of the time we stick to the nap schedule but we are flexible when needed. It has never been that big of a deal...our daughter's personality is such that she handles taking a later nap just fine. Each kid is so different. Our son at this age would not have handled it so well. He has an intense personality. Anyway - if your baby can handle it I'd not worry about being flexible some days. Around 10-11 months our daughter switched to one nap a day (around 12:30 - 2pm), so that may happen for your child soon.

1 mom found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

I learned that our daughter did a lot better for us if she could stay on a schedule. Made the evening and sleeping through the night happen really quickly.. Yes, thee were times I needed her to break the schedule, but I knew there could be hell to pay later and was ready for it.

Maybe a sitter would work, so you can just have adult yoga?
Its nice to have a couple of hours a week for you time.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.W.

answers from San Francisco on

I am a believer in a set sleep schedule. My kids are all older and not nappers anymore. When they were young though, I kept on a regular schedule. We just made it happen. I planned around the nap schedule. Sometimes life got in the way and a nap was missed but overall I kept to the schedule. It is hard to be little and be exhausted and dragged to and fro and expected to be a good,well mannered child.

I think the issue here is that YOU are the only one to get him to sleep. That was not the case with me. My kids fell asleep on their own regardless of who was there to put him/her down. We had babysitters, friends and family fill in when we went on dates or appointments etc. So that really helped ME not feel that I was slave to the nap schedule. So...work on having your little one fall asleep without you..it will help so much.

I think when it comes to putting off a nap for an hour every now and then is no issue...it is when they miss their nap entirely, or have absolutely no schedule to begin with or when day after day you are postponing the nap. Maybe try the yoga class and see how it goes. Sometimes you can do a one month trial run...or even a couple classes.

Good luck and best wishes at finding something that works for you!!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.H.

answers from New York on

I was flexible. As long as we got a couple naps in during the day all was good. And once you have more than one kid you almost HAVE to be flexible (poor 2nd kid!).

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Your baby is only a couple of months away from going to one nap per day. In child care they are down to the one nap per day by the time they go into the toddler room and their first birthday. That will give you some freedom since that will be in the afternoon and not so early in the day. I think doing activities with your child is much more important than sleep schedules.

I say don't be a slave to them.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.S.

answers from New York on

Great question, one I am struggling with as well! I'm somewhat flexible depending on how important the activity is that would put off the nap. Example: Going to the beach? Flexibility for sure! Taking a class so I can meet other moms? Flexibility for sure. If you take the mommy and me class, maybe your baby will adapt to the new post-class naptime. Listen to your intuition!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.W.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I am pretty strict with nap schedules and bedtimes with my kids. I think in the end, it provides MUCH better quality sleep for them, and in turn, I have happier, healthier children. I do have to make sacrifices to be home at their naptimes (saying no to playdates or whatever), BUT I think it's worth it. Obviously there is the occasional late night or whatever, but because they are on good schedules, they always go right back to their awesome sleeping the next day.

F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

My kids are older, 15, 12 and 9 and we have ALWAYS stuck to the same schedule. Every single day and even the same during summer too. That way everyone knows what to expect and its easier to follow. And I did that as well when they were little. Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.D.

answers from Cincinnati on

I was more flexible but it wasn't a problem for my son.

C.C.

answers from San Francisco on

When my kids were that age, we kept to the schedule. As adults, we are able to adjust to a changing schedule and it's no big deal. To babies and toddlers, it completely throws them off and throws the whole day into turmoil. Not worth it, in my opinion. If mommy & me yoga only happened during my child's naptime, I'd skip it. Yeah, yoga is fun for me, but with a child who would rather be taking his nap... not so fun anymore! :)

T.C.

answers from New York on

I think this is a very personal parenting decision that is different for everyone. It depends so much on the temperament of the baby, but also on the mom's temperament as well. I've seen moms be overly rigid in their family schedules, which I think comes down a control issue, but I have also seen parents who pretty much revolve their children's schedules around their own, which does not always work out for the better of the child. One couple I know in particular is like this and it seemed to be fine for their daughter, who is clam and easy-going by nature, but their son has a lot of behavior issues and I sometimes wonder if that might contribute. In my case, until almost age 2, my son really would be a nightmare if he skipped or delayed a nap, but then again by age 1 his one nap a day would start anywhere between 1 - 2:30 pm without a problem. If we pushed it much later, he would have trouble sleeping and then sleep so long that bed time would be difficult. (We are on a much later schedule than most families because of our work schedules so he usually wakes up at 9 am or later.) Throughout the past year, there have been times that he has skipped a nap altogether because a social function kept him up and it was too late to put him down for a nap. It did make my evening challenging, but not the end of the world. With a 9 and a half month old, I would have passed on the yoga class, but that is because my son was very sensitive and cried a lot as an infant. Some babies are not as fussy. Trust that whatever decision you make, if it isn't working you'll go back to plan A. Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

We did not even have a schedule at that age. He woke up when he woke up. If it was before we left for daycare, we fed and changed him. If not, we put him in the car and he got fed when he got there. He napped when he was tired - anywhere, anytime - in the car, the stroller, our arms, the floor, didn't matter to him. We put him in his crib when we went to bed - generally between 11 pm and midnight. He has always been a great sleeper and still is (now 5-1/2). We first had a schedule for him at a year of age because daycare only gave him one nap at that point.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

H.L.

answers from New York on

I'm a litle more flexible with nap time because I don't want to miss out on life with my child and feel it's worth the sacrifice and no matter rigid your schedule is babies change constantly as they age and if you don't change there schedule they will change it. As long as they get there nap in there somehow that's all that matters unless there really fussy during the activity. But so have a friend that's so stuck to the bedtime that she misses out in life especially in the summer time when there's no school. I always found that when I planned my whole day around my childs nap she or he would not take it when put to bed and my day was wasted so I just get what I need done and when she seems tired rubbing eyes etc I put her down or she naps in the car. You can only plan so much and then it's up to the baby to decide whether she agrees or not. Good luck!

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions