Do You Regret Getting Your Tubes Tied?

Updated on May 24, 2011
C.S. asks from Salisbury, NC
22 answers

I have 4 kids, and I am pretty sure I don't want anymore, but you never know. I am looking into birth control options. I am on the pill now, but I was thinking about either getting an IUD or getting my tubes tied. The fear I have about getting my tubes tied is that later I will decide I want another baby. Has anyone had their tubes tied and regretted it because you wanted another baby?

BTW - I'll be 30 next month

-- And yes Cathy, I can afford the children I have, and more if I choose to - "for everyone's sake" - don't worry, I'm not dipping into your tax dollars to support my children, but if I was, that would be my right

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L.N.

answers from Johnson City on

My niece had hers tied and she said it was more painful than her c-section. My husband decided I had been through enough and he had a vasectomy-which is reversable. Maybe that is an option.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.M.

answers from Boston on

Not exactly what you asked, but I have a copper IUD and love it. I never have to think about birth control, no hormones, and it's totally reversible. Just something to consider if you're on the fence. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

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I.M.

answers from New York on

When I tied my tubes I was 33 and I knew I was done with having kids. I have two boys and a girl. I had to do it because I was losing my hair with the birth control pills and my husband was not willing to have the surgery done. I knew 3 was a good number. But have I regretted having the tubes? yes, at times; especially when my little girl was out of the baby stages, and then as she got a little older, older enough to ask me for a sister! I'm I glad I did it? Yes, because I think I could've had a baseball team if it was up to my husband :) and now at almost 43 I can hardly keep up with the three of them. You will have your days of regret, and then you will have your days of "praising God" for having just enough :)
If you don't have any issues with the pill, then just wait and see.
Blessings

2 moms found this helpful
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M.2.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I haven't had my tubes tied but I have had an IUD. I loved the IUD especially since is was reversable. I knew I was going to have more children but I didn't want to remember to take a pill every day. So and IUD was wonderful! If you are thinking you might consider having another child I would opt for the IUD instead of having your tubes tied. You are still really young and you never know what your thoughts might be in the future.

1 mom found this helpful
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T.H.

answers from Baton Rouge on

I had my tubes tied after my third baby. Nobody had told me of the complications that would follow. I had very easy menstrual cycles that lasted 3 maybe 4 days. After the tubal I had very heavy menstrual cycles for 7 days. The cramps were horrible. Back pain unbearable. It was the worst I had ever felt. I went to my OBGYN and she said we can try medicine or do a partial hysterectomy. Well I was in so much pain that I opted for the hysterectomy. Although I love not having a cycle every month, I do regret not being able to have another baby. After my boys got older I really wanted to try for my girl but couldn't. It was too late so be 100% sure about the decision you make.
T.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.F.

answers from Minneapolis on

If you are not 100% sure that you are done, then don't use a permanent form of birth control. You have plenty of time to have that done in the future, if you so desire.

I'm getting my tubes done with my c-section on Thursday. I KNOW I cannot carry another child. If I want more kids, we'll adopt. :)

Good luck with your decision.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

Because you're still so young, you may want to get an IUD or have your husband get a vasectomy. I spoke to my doctors and researched tubal ligation, and this is NOT an urban legend -sometimes the tubes grow back together! I know firsthand of TWO people (not friends of friends or anything) who got big surprises in their 40s because they had their tubes tied and then found out they were pregnant years later! My doctors told me it does happen, and that vasectomies are far less invasive and much cheaper to have done -and they have an easier recovery period. You have a long way to go until menopause, so I would choose something other than tubal ligation if I were you.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.K.

answers from Dallas on

Had mine tied at 28, no regrets, none nada zip. But that being I was absolutly 100 percent sure with it.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.F.

answers from Nashville on

Your comment "but you never know" tells me that you are not sure so I would not opt for something permanent and don't assume you can have a tubal ligation reversed. Try an IUD. I have had one for over a year and it works great so far.

1 mom found this helpful
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D.G.

answers from Chattanooga on

i had my tubes tied after my 4th when i was 25 and i do not regret it. If you decide in the future you want another child you could adopt as there are many children out there that need loving parents. As far as being able to afford things can always change with the way the job market is..Good luck regardless of your final choice.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.W.

answers from Seattle on

I had my tubes tied last year and don't really regret it. I'm sure I don't want anymore kids so that isn't an issue for me. But, I wish I knew it would change my period and make it much heavier... that part sucks! I went from having a very light and short period to a really heavy and long one. It is reversable or at least if you really did change your mind you have options with technology and all that. Although, if I wasn't at least 90% sure then I'd probably just go on the pill for now. Good luck with your decision :)

1 mom found this helpful
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P.M.

answers from Portland on

Had mine tied at 32, and I had one daughter. Never a moment of regret. If one invests a real sense of decision in any choice, you can close a door move forward in other directions. Regret is something we often do to ourselves. It is usually avoidable if we know we can choose otherwise.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.S.

answers from Hickory on

I can only tell you about me. I had my tided and in March of 2008 went for tubal reversal surgery. I will be 30 this year and we have decided to try for another child. I had a lot of health problems that started after having them tied. They call it PTLS. I had the surgery to untie them first to make me feel better and boy did it. My cycles had gotten very bad after the TL and after surgery they improved greatly. The pains in my hips and lower back have improved as well. It is your choice so I can not tell you want to do. But I can share my story. Feel free to write me if you have any questions.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.W.

answers from Nashville on

I had my tubes tide when my daughter was 3 months and my son had just turned 2. I was 26. Now I am 33 and don't regret it a bit. I have to admit that there was a few years where my husband and I talked about getting it reversed but now I am so glad I didn't. I love my kids but know that two is enough for me. I would suggest another form of birth control if you aren't 100% sure though. It is hard to reverse if you choose that route.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.S.

answers from Greensboro on

I haven't had this issue but a dear friend did. She didn't want her tubes tied but her husband did. She reluctantly did it after a couple of years of urging. Believe it or not he changed his mind......two years after that she had them reversed and has another beautiful little girl. The reversal was an awful ordeal for her, not only emotionally, but physically. She has had female problems ever since. Have you and your husband discussed a vasectomy? It is a much safer procedure and has a higher rate of successful reversal.

Personally, I don't believe any surgery should be done unless something is life threatening, so I have a bias here. The body starts working differently and usually there are side effects that people don't concern themselves with when making a decision. Also, I didn't have my first child til I was 32 so I can't relate with stopping right now, lol.

You're a young woman. It's your decision but please look at all the options, not just consulting us moms, before you make that final decision. It will change things.

God bless,

M.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.D.

answers from Fayetteville on

I was 27 when I had my tubes tied and had 3 children. At the time we couldn't afford anymore and were happy, but later on we made more money and wanted more. I had a reversal but had one miscarriage and didn't get pregnant again. We definitely regret it and would advise against it.
J.
Fayetteville NC

S.F.

answers from Charlotte on

I do regret getting my tubes tied! I am looking into getting them untied and so far it's looking that I'm going to pay $6,000 to get it done! I have had 3 children, one who is deceased that would be 9 in January, I have a 8yr old little girl, & a 6 yr old little boy. My husband doesn't have any kids & is wanting one of his own. We were looking into the embryo, but that would cost almost $20,000. So were saving up the money to just get them untied. So if you are wanting more children then I would just stay on Birth Control until you know for sure you are done having kids!

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A.C.

answers from Raleigh on

I am not judging you and it is your right to have as many children as you wish. However the world is overpopulated and in the next 30 years. Yours and mine and your childrens lifetime there will be serious water shortages around the world. Do you really think it is in the best interest of the planet and population as a whole to continue having children just b/c you want them. I loved being pregnant and having a newborn but my husband and I chose to limit ourselves to 2 children so that we are not increasing the population of the planet. Maybe if you felt like you really wanted more children you could adopt one of the millions who have no one to love them. It is just something to think about. It seems like anyone who has a lot of children is really selfish in a global sense.

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L.B.

answers from Stationed Overseas on

I just had mine a couple months back after the birth of my second child. No regrets here and so far no side effects! All is good.
I get so sick during pregnancy that it makes it difficult to work. I'm also worried that as I get older the sickness will get worse and not better. I'll be 35 in a couple months. So I quit with the baby making thing. Time to just be a mom and let my kids get older and wiser!
Just make sure you don't want anymore kids otherwise get something that can be reversed later. They have implants and things that can be removed later.
Good luck!

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W.M.

answers from Nashville on

I don't think Cathy said anything about taking our tax dollars. I think she was merely referring to your sake, your husband's, and kids. Her email did not seem judgemental.
I think the fact that you are not sure means you should not do something permanent. You should do IUD or your husband can do Vasectomy. As one mom mentioned, it is reversible. Why not just do birth control until you are sure. 30 is too young to make that decision but kids are expensive when it comes to college, marriage, and just life in general. Our reason for not having more was to give them 100% of our attn, time, their own bedrooms, and money and sometimes the more kids you have, the more you are spread thin. We also wanted to get on with the future. We want to be able to travel and do things that babies make it hard to do, camping, etc. We wanted to be young enough when they go to college to still enjoy our time together. I think 4 kids is exciting and you are lucky to have them so just try and imagine 5 and see if that is for you. Just some thoughts to consider.

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C.H.

answers from Dallas on

I was 37. No regrets. I was divorced at 33, didn't really want more children but worried that a new husband might. Then I realized that I shouldn't let that be his decision. I needed to pick a man who didn't want more children. Then we'd all be happy.

I didn't have any bad periods or issues at all except:

I don't know if this is connected or not: I did start to get migraines after that each month. My body didn't respond well to the ups and downs of progesterone they said. The OBGYN gave me estrogen instead, not knowing that. If I'd been able to balance the progesterone, bet I wouldn't have had that. So, I took migraine pills once a month. After menapause, no more headaches.

Previously, I had loved my IUD. But I failed to have my IUD checked every year. It unknowingly became somewhat embeded in my tissue and had slipped down a ways -- enough that I could have gotten pregnant they said.

If you can afford more children (money and energy), then do IUD. If you can't, make it permanent for everyone's sake.

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M.S.

answers from Des Moines on

The IUD is a great option - I couldn't tolerate the hormones though so for now until I am "sure" i'm done having babies I'm using a FemCap - barrier method which is totally awesome for me as I can't tolerate taking hormones. If you're interested in it you'd need to find someone to "fit" you and give you a script - can't get them over the counter - it's like a cervical cap. good luck!!

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