If they do it wrong, do you insist they redo it right?
We have a new mom helping at GIRL scouts who seems fixated on this and the kids are complaining. The ones who did it right, she doesn't do it to again ever. My child and half of them did it wrong, so she kept it up at next meeting. ADDED: My child is 9, very slow to warm up to people, and i predict I am going to have to talk to this mom as she doesn't seem to believe in being sensitive to others. She only insists they shake her hand right and it is never talked about and it wasn't used on the two field trips.
It is her pet peeve I think and she is so alpha, she walks over the scout leader who is trying to start the meeting almost on time.
Also, the moms of nonwhite kids thought it was racist until I reminded them my daughter is also in the same boat. It is weird she doesn't make her own child do it.
Half the troop quit. We did 60% of the meetings and have earned zero badges. In fact, no badges have been earned since over a year ago.
This mom is a coleader, though we don't see her listed on the paperwork. I asked the leader and she said she is the coleader, but the website is not updated. I gave the idea about the girls shaking with each other in greeting time. Excellent.
There were little ears so I slyly mentioned my child feeling embarrassed to redo things in front of the group. She is going to be more ASSERTIVE with the meeting. Thanks
We were all taught to shake hands when we were kids. I think it IS important to do it right... I HATE when I shake hands with someone who has a 'limp fish' handshake. It automatically taints my first impression of them. A good, firm handshake shows confidence and respect. :)
I never insisted on this from my kids, but somehow, having watched the grownups do it all his life, my 13yr old *always* shakes hands with the adults he meets. I suppose at some point they start to notice social norms and try to act in socially acceptable ways. Now if only I could get him to stand up straight, stop mumbling and quit being a teenage slug, I'd be happy (^_^)!
i'm taken aback by people complaining about germs. breathing around other people also shares germs. we're not talking about kissing, for cryin' in a bucket.
yes, my boys were taught to shake hands from a very early age. a good firm handshake while looking directly at the person being introduced is a basic and sadly overlooked skill. nothing worse than a tepid limp handshake with shifty eyes.
no, i wouldn't insist they redo it if they got it wrong. but then, we worked with our boys, and our boys learned it easily, so that was never an issue.
your scout M. sounds a little zealous, but for the most part i'm with her.
khairete
S.
Yes, we teach our son to shake hands and to do it the proper way. It's showing respect for the person you are meeting. We also teach our kids to look at people in the eyes when they are talking to them and to always answer when they are spoken too. I think too many parents make up excuses as to why their kids do not do this and in return, they get teenagers and adults who don't show respect.
I encourage my son to shake someonse hand when they offer, but he isn't big on "strangers" and I never force him too. My husband is teaching him the correct way to shake though. He says it makes all the difference. I suppose it will be more important as he gets older.
yes, we have always recommended the common courtesy of shaking hands. But, it came easy....because at church, we shake hands during our "Peace Offering"....."Peace be with you".
All of the uncles in our family encourage handshakes with the boys ....so this also helps.
NO WAY!!!!! You don't know where their hands have been. What if they have a cut on their hand or a community disease. Forget it!!!
I dont think there is anything wrong with teaching young boys how to shake hands.
DS learned at his Montessori preschool. Good handshake and make eye contact with the person at the same time. They shake hands with each teacher when they come in and when they leave. I think it has been great for his confidence and it is polite. When your toddler shakes hands, looks at and introduces himself to a new adult, that adult will be on your side - they will not be wondering when your child will have a tantrum, yell or do something that so many kids to in public - they will somehow believe they have met a little angel. We take our son pretty much everywhere we go (nice restaurants, museums, etc) and good manners go a long way.
I don't care too much one way or another if young kids shake hands or not. They will eventually and I think we each develop our own style, strength, firmness, and take it with us into adulthood. A 3 or 4 year old doesn't need to, but maybe by 7 or 8 they should, just to show the respect and to form that greeting they will use in business for years to come. What I'd like to comment about is the parent in the scouts who is pushing for this. If it means this much to her, it might be a great idea for her to do some research on how hand shaking started, what it means in a few other cultures, and then have a lesson on the way to do it correctly. She could be the guest speaker for the meeting and have each boy learn the right way, and incorrect ways to shake hands. Who knows, they may even earn a badge or award to go with their social skills part of scouting. She will then have completed her mission to teach the masses, and get off their backs. But they will have learn an appropriate skill for life. (o:
I think many children these days are not taught the propriety of greetings and things like shaking hands. My sister and I were taught as children that if someone extends their hand to shake yours, you shake hands back. We both taught our children the same way.
Maybe what you see as a peeve of hers is really her way of trying to teach girls the importance of a proper handshake. It sounds like a subject you haven't brought up with your daughter and that's part of what is making her feel awkward about it. Nothing wrong on your part, I didn't mean it like that. I'm just saying that it being something new to her doesn't necessarily make it bad or wrong. You can take the lead and teach her about it on your own.
It IS important, in my opinion, for even girls to know the importance of a confident and firm hand shake.
Maybe if your daughter practices with you and shakes the woman's hand nicely and firmly next time, the woman will feel her mission in life has been accomplished. :)
Kids don't have to offer to shake someone's hand, but if a hand is offered, I think they should know how to properly respond, that's all I'm saying.
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I taught my kids how to shake hands properly. But that doesn't mean that I always expect them to use what they know. They are old enough now (9 and 12) that they usually shake when someone offers them a hand to shake as a social courtesy. They are old enough to discern when it is socially appropriate. But when they were little (under age 6 ?) I did not make it any sort of requirement. Kids need to learn to listen to their internal instincts about reading people. My youngest is very slow to warm up to people (as was I) and I don't think it is appropriate to force them (or for adults they don't know--who else's hand would they be shaking?) if they aren't comfortable. Just like I wouldn't make them kiss a relative they weren't comfortable offering a kiss to on their own.
Nope, I don't think it is right to force your child to do things they aren't comfortable with. I do insist they say hello and acknowledge someone after that you are making them more uncomfortable than they already are.
Honestly because my son is a kid he just "pounds" other people. Meaning fist to fist, because of germs. They started this in his cub scouts and in his MMA classes. The boys were also told when they get older of course they have to shake hands properly, but for now the "pound" works.
Take over the meeting (dont let her take over) Have the girls spend three or four minutes in a circle, Go around the circle greeting the child on their left and right. Have them say Good evening or Hello to each other and shake each other's hands. two adults should go first and model, Ask them to make eye contact and use names Insist they use the correct hand. Then announce "greeting time is over" and MOVE on to next activity. It is great for them to learn to shake hands, we teach kindergartners to greet each other. Maybe these girls are having a hard time shaking hand correctly because this woman makes them feel uncomfortable and nervous?? That's why I suggest they practice on each other. If she insists on shaking hands with a child later say loudly "Oh, what happened ? wasnt Suzy here for Greeting Time?" "Oh she was? ok Suzy then go on to ....."
It sounds like this M. is not very skilled at teaching/working with kids. If this really has the potential to affect everything else they are getting out of girl scouts, then I think you should talk to her. There is so much that they can benefit from girl scouts, it would be a shame for this to ruin their impression of girl scouts. I will say though that I do believe it is important for a woman to know how to give a good handshake. 9 seems a little young but I can see how this could be incorporated into girl scouts. I actually learned about it in a business class in high school. I now work in a field where I work with mostly men and have carried that handshake lesson with me. And when I meet someone and give them my handshake, it just gives me a little feeling of confidence each time because I know they are getting a good first impression partially due to that.
I don't think anything is wrong with teaching kids how to shake hands, but I do not insist that my daughter (age 8) shakes hands. She is reserved when meeting new adults, and this would make her uncomfortable. I will teach her as she gets older. I am a career coach and am aware how important a firm handshake and eye contact is in the business world. I don't find this important in elementary school :-)
