Do You Leave Your Kids in the Car?

Updated on June 18, 2011
A.S. asks from Eugene, OR
47 answers

I just found out it is NOT illegal to leave your child alone in the car in most states-though it is very stupid. It is also not illegal to let them walk down the street, yet you can't leave them at home until they are 10+. How can you leave a child in the car or walking down the street, be different if not worse than leaving one home by themselves? I don't get it, do you? I am one of those that don't even leave my dd at soccer practice and she is 9. I don't get why parents are leaving their kids everywhere I look.

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K.:.

answers from Phoenix on

I know people do it, but I don't plan on ever doing it. I think it's just lazy parenting coming into play.

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M.A.

answers from Houston on

I dont leave my DD in the car OR the deparment store because of Adam Walsh. I will honor him and his Dad... I will also respect what he has taught me these many years. Look away and you kid can too.....I Dream of Adam. I dont even know him.....that man cut his head off.....it makes me SICK......I hold on to my daughter like life depends on it....sad, I know....That IS the society we live in....Adams parents didnt know that yet....(that, and the sick person that killed him)

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I'm with you. My son is 8 and I don't leave him in the car--unless it's in my garage & I forgot my travel mug or something on the way out the door!

People are such dolts sometimes. They keep better track of their phones & ipods. These are the people you see on the news sobbing if something happens to their kids. I don't get it. I flinch when I see it. What other more prized "possessions" do we have that need care & protection?

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

What is your source that states it's not illegal to leave your child alone in the car or to walk down the street but you can't leave them alone at home until they're 10?

I'm a retired police officer (for nearly 20 years) and there were no such laws in Oregon back then. What determined whether or not a parent could leave their child alone was whether or not the child was safe. Then there are a series of questions to ask the child to determine how mature they were and thus how safe it was for them to be home alone or in the car alone. The length of time and how often also played into the decision.

I'm guessing there is still not law stating that you cannot leave your child alone in a car. But if an officer were to find a 10 yo locked in a car with the windows rolled up on a 100 degree day, the officer would get involved. If a 10 yo or a 12 yo buys drugs on that walk down the street then the parent can be cited for not providing enough supervision.

What determines the possibility of taking legal action includes a large amount of information. There cannot be a law against everything. Parents must exercise common sense.

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S.L.

answers from Chicago on

I think the kids-in-cars debate tends to blur 2 really different things: (1) the conscious decision to leave a child(ren) in the car for a few minutes for some reason, with all due thought and care for the circumstances, versus (2) the appalling tragedies when people, usually stressed, actually think the kid is SOMEWHERE ELSE when they lock the car and go to work for the day. These are 2 utterly different events, and claiming we shouldn’t do the first because terrible things have happened in the 2nd scenario is illogical and unhelpful. Those of you screaming "Lazy Parenting!!!" could not be more wrong. This type of decision takes much more consideration and forethought than the blanket "hell no!" reaction often given.

As for walking down the street by him/herself, I completely get it. These are parents who allow the child to be a kid while letting him use his head to figure out problems. They are parents who teach that the world is a fundamentally good place, 99.5% of strangers will gladly lend a hand when needed, that certain behaviors are inappropriate, etc. In short, parents who evaluate the capabilities of her own child and offer experiences that will allow him to become a functional adult. This builds self-confidence and self-esteem unlike any other method.

And the only one who can determine whether or not a child is ready to have such experiences is that child's parents. Not you, not anyone on his board, and certainly not an arbitrary law. My child is different than yours. How on earth can you judge what my child is capable of?

Tragedy can and does happen...and every single incident is one incident too many. However, these events ae exceedingly rare--far more rare, in fact, than in the 1970s 1980s and 1990s. The only thing that has changed is the hysteria and fear surrounding kids that has been driven by the media in a shameless ratings game...and designed to keep people living in fear and buying useless products.

Personally, I think anyone who calls the authorities "every single time" she sees an unsupervised child in a car, regardless of the situation, is displaying a lack of thought and an inability to reason. This is not the example I wish to set for my children.

6 moms found this helpful
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J.B.

answers from St. Louis on

Wow. I've left my girls in the car at the gas station before. They are both buckled in car seats, and I just run in to pay or get cash at the ATM. I lock the doors and park right in front of the store door/windows. It's 2 minutes max. Of course, I do live in a relatively small town, and the gas station I use is a police sub station. I would never leave them if I couldn't park in front of the store, if I were in an unfamiliar place, or if I needed to spend more than 2 minutes inside.

Getting a toddler and an infant out of their seats, carrying them inside, trying to supervise them in the store, and then back out and in their seats again would not be worth the stop for me.

*Also my girls cannot and do not get out of their seats alone, and they behave wonderfully. (I know all mamas say that, but it's true.) I tell them, "mommy is going right inside there, and she'll be back in just a minute. Can you watch her?" If someone were going to take them or steal the truck, they'd have to break the window or break in the door - both of which I'd see from the store, as I'm continually looking out the huge windows. And if I didn't see it happen, it's a police sub station and at least one policeman is always there.

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Um, "children are getting kidnapped every day?" (in response to lovemyboys3) ya, actually that is NOT happening, the VERY few kids who are kidnapped are taken mostly by family members and non custodial parents, not strangers.
I grew up in Iowa, walked or took the bus to school on my own from kindergarten on (ok, well my grandma went with me the first few days) and it was totally fine.
I have NEVER stayed with my own kids at sports practice, there are like 5 so called coaches (?) there anyway and a bunch of nervous mommies hanging out in the parking lot, so I go to the grocery store :)
The only person who ever harmed me was my mom's boyfriend, who eventually became my stepfather, who became my main caretaker until I was 14 because my my mom loved and trusted him. THESE are the people we need to protect out children from, not some random "boogey man."

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M.T.

answers from Kansas City on

I have to say I have left my daughter in the car in our driveway, but only if I just forgot something and I am only going to be less than a minute, I always leave the car door open and never leave the car running. She is 6 and I have done this a total of 3 times and I try very hard not to do it but figure it isn't really any different than letting her play outside by herself. I will never leave her in the car, running or not, at a business or away from home. I live in the Kansas City area and a few years ago, a parent left their kid in the car with it running and ran inside the gas station to get a pack of gum. While they were in the gas station someone got in their car and drove off with the kid in the back seat. The kid tried to get out of the car got tangled in the seat belt and was dragged to death on the highway by the car jacker. So for all you parents that think people are over reacting and kids don't get kidnapped by strangers, they do, and the person that stole the car didn't even know that there was a kid in the car. I remember my mom rolling the windows down and leaving my brother and I in the car while she did a little grocery shopping, things might not have changed that much since the early 80's, but it sure does seem like there are more child predators now than there was then, maybe it is just reported more. Either way I would rather be safe than sorry. I do let my daughter go across the street and play with her friends at the age of 6, but I feel comfortable doing this because I have met the parents and we speak on a regular basis. There is an 8 year old that lives about a block away that wanted my daughter to come play at his house and I said no because I have not met his mother and I know that she is never home and I do not feel comfortable leaving my almost 7 year old unsupervised. I understand that she is a single parent and has to work, but I do not feel like leaving a first grader alone after school and all summer long is a very safe thing to do, so I do my best to watch after her son and feed him whenever I can. I wish that this was a cut and dry issue where all parents agreed that it is not safe to leave your kids in the car, but unfortunately I think everyone has a different comfort level when it comes to the safety of their children, and some people have no common sense and unfortunately their children suffer because of it. I say if you see kids in the car by themselves call the police, especially if the windows are not rolled down, you might just save that kids life.

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T.V.

answers from San Francisco on

NO! And in extreme weather hot or cold don't leave pets in the car alone.

If I see either, I would call CPS/Police/ASPCA so fast it would make your head spin.

Kids and animals die each year because they have been left in the car alone.

Blessings....

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A.G.

answers from Seattle on

Different parents have different comfort levels of what they will allow their children to do. When I was a kid, I had much more freedom than I allow my kids. With that being said, I am much mire comfortable leaving my children than some other parents. I will leave my kids in the car at the school if I am running into the office to pick up another child or if I am running into the store for one thing. I leave my kids at practice. I figure the coaches have things under control and my children will be fine without me there. I try to ensure my kids safety while also allowing them some independence and me some sanity. For every parent the balance is different. And unless a parent is being so overprotective that their child can't breath or so inattentive as to be negligent, I try not to judge or get involved.

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A.E.

answers from Biloxi on

I agree 100%. I just don't get it. I've even seen parents run into the store at the gas station and leave their car running with their kids in it. I just don't get it. I've also seen parents let their pre-school age children wander around the store while they're busy shopping. It's crazy. I would love it if it were made illegal in all states and am surprised that it's not.

A.

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R.K.

answers from Appleton on

I worked in a dept store and you would be surprised at how many parents think it's perfectly okay to leave the kids in one area of the store and go shopping in another. Does anyone remember Adam Walsh???? !!!!

Added:
I explain about Adam Walsh. Adam is the son of John Walsh (America's Most Wanted). John took Adam shopping and left him to play with the toys in the toy department. Adam disappeared from the store and the only part of him that was ever found again was his head. NEVER LEAVE YOUR CHILD UNATTENDED!!!!

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D.J.

answers from Seattle on

When I had one child I never considered leaving him in the vehicle. Ever. Six years later I had twins. Library drop off? Pull up in front, lock doors (keeping key fob with me) and run. Thankfully our drop box is close. I avoided many errands as much as possible because of lugging twins into and out of places. It was never a matter of just running in to get the milk. When you have young twins you are stopped constantly and people will step right in front of your cart.

I wouldn't leave my kids to shop because I can't see my vehicle from any store. But yes, I've parked and drop mail in the slot, library books, dropped off items at friends' homes, etc...

Joann,(and I'm sure there were other comments similar to yours, but I just happened to spot yours first) while I respect your concern for your daughter's safety, I think you went a bit far. Life circumstances can change and as kids get older they are inclined to learn more responsibility when the situation is necessary. For example, my twins weren't allowed to get the mail until they were 8. My niece has been getting the mail since she was four...her father is blind. Should he not be allowed to have children because he's blind? My niece is is six and she's one sharp, capable cookie. She double checks the stove. She makes sure the doors are locked, she cleans...willingly. Her parents are separated and neither leaves her home alone, but wow, she's very advanced.

As for older kids it depends on the child. We have a park three houses down. Not a big park and many people don't even know the park exists. I would let my oldest son go to the park at the age of 9. He has a sense of fear. He would make friends easily but still be Leary. He has always looked two years older than he is due to his height. He is very independent.

My twins are now 10, and I will only let them go to the park if I or someone is with them. They are more dependent than their brother and they get sucked into play and could care less what is going on around them.

I understand why people leave young children for few seconds to a minute, and I would unload the groceries even if my kids were awake, because it was safer than corralling them in the house and trying to keep them away from the stairs. Admittedly we have a private drive so that makes it much easier.

So I'm in the do what you have to do group...within reason. Heck I had my boys going in the girls restroom for a long time, and my oldest 'Mr. Independent' was not thrilled with that rule.

Anyway, careful on the judgement of others everyone. Things change and you have to learn to adjust and make do.

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L.F.

answers from San Francisco on

I don't leave my kids in the car for even a second. I take them out every time I go to the gas station and I have to go in and of course every store etc. I have heard too many stories about kids getting taken, that I am not willing to risk my own. It only takes 10 seconds for someone to take a child from a car-.....

M

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C.S.

answers from Kansas City on

NEVER. Even if I just need something from the house or wherever really quick I still don't. Better my babies are safe than me being sorry for something bad happening.

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

nope. My son comes with me everywhere. He is part of my life. I'm his mom.

I also want to add that he's four. When he's eight or nine, we'll think about how much independence he should be allowed. I used to sit in the car and read when I was about that age, but the times when I didn't know where my folks were? When I had to use the bathroom and they were "somewhere" in the mall for 40 minutes or so? I'll have to give a lot of thought to the situation when it comes up. I also believe that there are many other, healthy ways to teach independence besides leaving our child in the car without us. My son plays in our fenced-in backyard alone, walks parallel paths from us at the park--- he gets quite a bit of time to be independent in age-appropriate ways.

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J.M.

answers from Kansas City on

NO!!! Never have never will !!! I value my daughters life !!!I value my daughter more than convience. My daughter comes before being to bothered to take her with me. To me my child is not a hassle to take with me always (why have kids if its to much of a hassle to deal with them? Leave them at home if you dont want to take them, that solves the problem) !!! I call the police every time I see children alone in the car.

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K.E.

answers from Denver on

I leave my two year old with her 7 year old brother in the car if I have to run a quick errand and i can fully see them - gas station, mini-mart, the post office in our neighborhood - always with the doors locked and strict instructions to NOT TALK WITH ANYONE.

I would never leave the 2 year old alone but trust the two of them together.

Things can happen - I agree - but 99% of the time they don't - and I'd rather give my children a few moments of trust and responsibility (and we're talking 5 minutes here) then constantly be on the "lookout' for evil doers.

I remember spending 45 minutes to an hour sitting in the car with my siblings while my parents grocery shopped - and it was NO SAFER THAN then now...just a different mindset and less nervous parents.

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

I never left my son in the car. I always paid at the pump and when I had to use walk up ATMs (and he was a toddler and prone to running) I'd have him sitting on my shoulders. I really LOVED drug stores with a prescription drive through lane since we could all stay in the car (especially when he was sick).

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

I dont, but only because my kid is 4. When she's older I probably will while I jet in places. When I was a kid, I used to beg to be able to stay in the car and read my book instead of having to go in the store or whatever with my mom.

Parents are leaving their kids, depending on their ages, because the world is actually a SAFER place than it used to be! http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/24/us/24crime.html?_r=3

Violent crime is the lowest it's been in 40 years! Depending on the age of your child, obviously use common sense, why not leave your kids alone? If you've sufficiently prepared them to be independent, it's great for their self esteem to be able to, say, stay at soccer practice alone, or be allowed to sit in the car while you run in to pay at the gas station or buy a carton of milk at the walgreens. As a child, I would have hated having to go in the store every time my mom needed to!

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K.P.

answers from Seattle on

Why would you even risk it in the state this world is in? Children are getting kidnapped every day. The world gets scarier and scarier, and I wouldnt ever want to chance it.

I NEVER leave my son unattended in the car. EVER period. I dont care the circumstances. It just isnt done, I dont want it to be that slim chance that the one time I do leave him alone in the car, something would happen. I watch the news and tv too much to know better than that.

I cant stand when people let their children go off and do what they want unattended. Like in the stores where the kids are off playing or doing something they shouldnt, causing havoc and where are the parents? On the other side of the store. Someone could just come snatch them up in a heartbeat and you'd never see them again. How scary and unnerving that is.

I also hate when I see little children walking down the street by themselves too. They are just kids, not adults and shouldnt be given the freedom to wander around alone. I dont care if its to a friends house, my kids will have to be older than 10 for me. Its just too worrisome to do that. The what if's are high. What if, a car doesnt see him or her and hits them while they are walking to their friends house? What if, they dont see the suspicious person walking behind them etc.

Yes, I may be overprotective, but better that then not enough and have something happen. Whatever the odds may be.

Jo G. I understand they need their freedom and what not, but there is a time and a place. And them being so young what's the rush? They will learn that in due time but its OUR jobs as parents to hover and protect them no matter what, and make sure things dont happen to them, and know how to be cautious. We may be over protective but I'd take that any day over the chance something could happen to my child.

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J.K.

answers from Cleveland on

My thoughts exactly......some parents are WAY too lax these days. If my boys want to play in the driveway and ride their bikes or something, I need to be outside with them (ages 3 and 4). I don't care how safe of a neighborhood we live in. And I NEVER leave them unattended in the car. It only takes a second....

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A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

No never! If I don't want to take them into where I am going, I do not take them with me. If I can't leave them with my husband or a sitter then I do not go or I take them with me.

I once saw a mother leave three kids (looked under 10) in the car at Walmart with the car running. She pulled in when I was getting out of my car and when I came out (about 20 minutes later) she had not returned. I sat in my car and waited until she returned. I don't "knock" her for doing it but I couldn't stand the thought that if someone tried to take the car or the kids, so I stayed there. I never said a word to her but I so wanted to. I even contemplated calling the police, and had she not returned within a few minutes I would have.

Too many things can happen...so no I never leave them in the car. They are not old enough to stay home by themselves, and even if they were old enough to stay at home I'm not sure I would leave them in the car...

I love them far too much to take any chances.

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R.K.

answers from Boston on

I don't leave my kids in the car but I do drop my 9 year old off at soccer practice.

Edited: Jessica B small towns have nothing do with safety google Molly Bish. She was abducted and murdered in my small town of about 4500. It happened very very quickly. It takes a lot less then 2 minutes for something bad to happen. What if your toddler gets out of her seat? My oldest could at 18 months gets in the front and knock your car into drive? Or god forbid something worse? Children don't belong unattended in cars.

Jo G you might feel differently if a girl was abducted and murdered at the end of your road. My children are aloud to play outside in our fenced back yard with the dogs outside with them but they aren't aloud to ride bikes alone on our road if my 9 yr old has friends over they can but they aren't aloud past a certain point bc I want to be able to see them. I don't wait outside when my oldest gets the bus he's out there with other kids (safety in numbers), I don't stay for practice I have no problem leaving him with the coaches, he will run in the convinient store and get milk and bread or the post office while I wait with his younger brother. I don't trust them alone in the car while I run in.

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K.V.

answers from Lansing on

I've left my daughter in the car when I ran into the gas station. It's not a chain big gas station, it's a little mom and pop store by my house.

With that said, I do lock her in the car and depending on the weather, I will start it (I have remote start) and keep the heat or air on. Shes in there for less then 5 minutes and strapped in a toddler seat.

And no, it's not illegal here either. And I will not leave her in the car at any other store.

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K.F.

answers from Salinas on

If we're talking about slightly older kids 6-12ish then I really think the hover parnets are not protecting but inhibiting their kids from being safe and developing into responsible teens. By over sheltering parents are keeping their kids from developing those important skills they'll need to be successful in life. Moms who stay at all activities and parties, walk into the school everyday for drop off and pick up and won't let their children out of sight for one second aren't protecting kids as much as creating dependant, less capable people. Sometimes I think it's more about them and feeling self important like "I'm such a great Mom I never leave their side" then it is about protecting the child. Why teach kids that the world is a scary and overwhelming place? Basic common sense seems in order.

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C.S.

answers from Redding on

I live in a very small community, you would think that parents felt safe, but it seems here that most mom's I know don't leave their kids anywhere either. I don't and I pride myself in being a little too protective over my kids. I know when I was this age (6) I was doing so many things on my own, including walking up the road alone to cath the bus and go to girl scouts. Now I barely let me 6 year old get in the car outside by herself. Its such a different world.

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S.T.

answers from Houston on

I saw a little boy locked out of the house, half dressed soaked in water and cold. He was banging on the door begging his mom to let him in to go to the bathroom. He was about 5 or 6. My sister and I waited a while and finally went up to him. He was totally willing to come home with us, but instead I knocked on the door. Mom wasn't wanting to come to the door till I told her daughter who was standing on the other side of the glass door that I was going to call the police. Mom was FURIOUS. Said it wasn't any of my business. I told her that he's under 10 and can't be alone (I had no idea that only applied if he was IN the house, being in the front yard on a busy street didn't count.)

I did call the police, they didn't care. I called CPS, they said that nothing illegal was done. I couldn't take him home with me, though, that would be kidnapping.

Interestingly enough, a woman was under investigation because she left her sleeping child in the car parked at the curb infront of walmart to put money in the Salvation Army bucket while it was snowing.

I DO leave my children for brief moments in time, like to put the basket in the cart return if I'm RIGHT THERE at the cart return. I always try to park next to the cart return for that reason, but sometimes I can't and so yes, I do the" irresponsible" thing and leave the cart right there in the parking lot.

I live out in the country and on my private drive, if the weather is cool I'll leave my napping child in the van and check on her frequently. I think there's a balance but really you can't be TOO careful when it comes to protecting small children.

My mom was OVER protective, though, as I got older. My mom made my choices for me and kept me from learning interpersonal skills that could actually protect me. Still to this day she says I don't make wise decisions, and I'm in my thirties with four kids (yeah, that's one of those really bad mistakes she tried to protect me from.) Balance, people....

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J.F.

answers from Philadelphia on

I leave my daughter in the car who is 4, if i go to a gas station and only have cash and its one wear theres a booth next to the car...so basically I can touch the car...lol...I don't know if that counts...I've never entered store or building with her in the car...although if I forget her glasses and were in the driveway I'll lock the car and run in the house for it....we live in a culdesac at the end and I'll always make sure its all empty before doing ti....also I hope to be able to let her walk down the street...now i do with watching and she plays at her friends in the yard unattended

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C.W.

answers from Las Vegas on

I'm with you. I can't stand my neighbors (2 sets of them) that have kids that are 2, 4, 6, 7 and they run around outside with no supervision. The 2 year old almost got hit by a car like 8 times... I've talked to her, when we had a neighborhood garage sale I called the cops and they just lectured them and left... I don't get it.

I had no idea about adam walsh, but wow... how sad. Nothing is worth my child's well-being, nothing. I agree with denise, it's disgusting that some people will keep better track of their phones then their kids. I'm no stranger to getting cops called and b!tching people out for leaving kids in the car (I've posted on here about a college mom I waited for for 30 mins while her approx 4 year old and INFANT were in her car, who knows how long before I came by... she got an ear full and was lucky campus security are lazy pos).

It IS illegal here and I'm glad because I think a lot of people who leave their kids in the car alone while going in stores (or people like that college mom) are probably neglectful in other areas (not all but a lot). I look out for kids I see alone in the store (like walmart), I feel like I have to protect them. I saw 2 little girls (maybe 7 and 3) walking around without any adult around. That 7 year old most likely can't defend herself much less for a 3 year old. It's sad and pathetic to me. AND yeah, just like toni with kids (and pets) I will call authority so fast your head will spin.

@megandollie, put a smile on your face babe cuz it is a new law in utah YAY!

http://www.deseretnews.com/article/705372340/New-law-cite...

WOW Jo G, I pray no one preys on your children/grandchildren! Kids can learn independence without parents risking their lives to go get some milk or something. Do you EVEN read the news?

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J.B.

answers from Houston on

My neighbor's son is literally a few days younger than mine, both are about to turn four and I have literally had to stop my car in the middle of the street more than once while he just stared at me, no parent in sight. Once I had to tell him to move, another time his dad finally came out and got him out of the way. Then while in my garage unloading my kids here comes the neighbor kid in the middle of the road just looking up my driveway at us, no parent in sight, literally in the middle of the street, crazy. He is always out on the curb with his teenage siblings who are busy in their own stuff giving him very little supervision, it is very sad actually. Thank God no young person going a little too fast came around the corner in these times. I pray for that kid. I will cart my groceries in the house when my kids are in the garage, with the garage door open and the van doors open on both sides, bc carting in groceries with them on my heels would be crazy, although now my three year old can help so I do get him down to carry them in with me. But I just make like three quick trips back and forth, like 30 seconds each and then scoop up my little one. That is it for me, I think if you are going into a store etc leaving your kids in the car is crazy, even if you think you can see them. A lady here left her sleeping newborn in a running car and ran into pay her cell phone bill. While she was watching someone stole her car with baby inside. Sure she ran out screaming, but it didn't matter, who can catch a moving car? Luckily though, the baby was just fine, they ditched the car, I guess kidnapping was more than they bargained for thank God. Very hard way to learn a lesson and it reaffirmed to me you never leave your kids in the car.

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A.J.

answers from Williamsport on

You can leave your kids strapped in belts in the car for two seconds while you pay for gas or run into a shop for one item with a full view of the car. You can't mandate that a mother of 5 takes all her kids out of their seats and in with her to drop one letter into a mail slot while double parked with blinkers where there is no parking etc. No one should leave their kids in the car for 20 minutes while the grocery shop out of sight, but I was so annoyed to have to take all my kids in with me to drop off my oldest to daycare (their policy). The daycare lot was secluded and nowhere near any other shifty commerce or people, it was in full view of the reception desk, which you did not have to go beyond to drop your child, in other words, your car was never out of sight. But rain, snow or shine, I had to unstrap everyone twice a day and bring them in with me for 30 seconds for drop off and pick up even while recovering from c-section.

I wouldn't go as far as my parents though, my brother and I were ALWAYS in the car for long errands. Once I cracked the windshield with my head bouncing in the front seat. :-0

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L.C.

answers from Houston on

I never would leave my kids in the car. Too many awful stories. There's a website kidsandcars.org that has great info on all things related to kids and cars and you can "like" their facebook page also.

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S.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

i would think that most people dont do that. there are too may horror stories about kids dying or getting kidnapped from their cars or the street. it is just plain stupid!
i mean, i wouldnt get all four of my kids out of the car to drop a letter in the mail box, or for literally five second errands like that, and that is only if the car were constantly in view.

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M.P.

answers from Provo on

It's not illegal here in UT, but they are looking into it. I fully support it. I will never leave my son alone. In my backyard I will while I stir something on the stove, but my yard is huge, fenced (7' fences) and surrounded by neighbors that I trust 100% and that is the only place where I will let my son just run around with out me watching him 24/7. Plus he says by the house and will follow where ever I go.
Mom's who leave their children in the car, well I pray that nothing bad will happen to those children. I usually will keep an eye on them as long as possible.

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K.L.

answers from Bellingham on

I personally feel some of this is a matter of common sense but other stuff is plain crazy. I really resent feeling like other parents look at me like a neglectful parent if I let my 9 year old walk home (5 blocks in a quiet neighborhood, no school busses) from school. I actually had a parent in a minivan follow my child home (where I was waiting on the porch) and say "just to make sure she got home safe"... um... What is driving this insane fear and over-protectiveness that seems to be so rampant these days? Child abductions have not increased in recent times. I personally want my kids to be independent and smart on their own, so when I'm not there to "keep them safe" they will be able to do it themselves.
I love this website:
http://freerangekids.wordpress.com/about-2/

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R.T.

answers from Lincoln on

I personally HATE it when I see parents leave their children in the car. I always pay at the pump for my gas. I understand that it can be hard when you have multiple kids, but I always figure is it worth it to risk it? I guess I am freaked out by the stories of the car being stolen etc. I have been tempted to do it when I've forgotten something in the house, but I still don't. He unbuckles and we go in together. I know that I would never forgive myself if anything happened b/c I couldn't be troubled to take the extra few minutes to bring him along. I hate it when I see a random car with a child in it. We parents are supposed to protect our kids and while to some it may seem over protective I think there are other ways to teach them to be independent. They can learn independence when they are old enough to be left home alone.

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K.M.

answers from Seattle on

I am finding this as a topic for discussion recently. I never noticed it before. Everyone is completely right when they say that a lot can go wrong because a lot could go wrong while leaving a child unattended in car. I speak more so for children who are under 3. Someone could hit your parked car or your car could be stolen in a second when your attention shift (we all know how quick things can happen in a second).

But I do not think the answer is so black and white. I think weather plays a part in it. Do you live in a cold area or a typically hot area? With your windows rolled up, is your car 60 degrees or 110. If you had 2 kids, an infant and a toddler, would you spend 8 minutes in 50 degree weather getting out strollers and blankets and bundling them and putting them in the stroller just so you could return a library book at the drop box? or a blockbuster dvd? Is it likely that the moment you turn around to close all the doors and lock them and you turn your attention away from the strollers that they could roll away or get hit by car pulling in? the variable are so numerous.

My personal favorite (a sarcastic favorite) is the ATM. What are the odds that while you are trying to do the right thing, and you have your baby in your arms, your fumbling through your purse trying to find your ATM card and your toddler pulls away from you and steps off the curb and gets hit by car, that is much more likely and more dangerous, in my opinion, then leaving them in their safety seat, with the windows cracked, car off and doors locked.

The point is we are all trying to make the right decisions, reasoning what would be the fastest, safest way to get things done. If you leave your child in the car to return a shopping cart, your not wrong, take all the safety precautions that you should, like locking the car. I doubt that any stores cart return is that far away.

Here's what we should never do guys! Is leave your child in the car for hours or leave them in the car when it is unbearably hot or cold and they are in serious danger of dying from heat exhaustion or even freezing. And please please please watch what you say to others. Love other people, if they make a wrong decision you can say something nicely, you don't have to yell and accuse them of being horrible parents just because they walked off to return their shopping cart.

Lastly, if you are truly concerned, call your local police department and ask them what the law is in your area. It sometime DOES depend on why you are leaving them in the car unattended (i.e. going into a bar would be illegal).

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C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

My boys are 11 and 8....I drop my 11 year old off at baseball practice WITH the coach - NEVER at a field by himself. I talk to the coach so he knows my son is there.

I go into a gas station SOMETIMES and leave them in the car. the doors are locked and I can see them.

When they were younger - nope, never. Now? they like to listen to the radio while I get drinks or snacks.

I let my kids play in our cul-de-sac by themselves. They are NEVER to leave the other alone - period. Strength in Numbers.

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A.W.

answers from Seattle on

I have left my child in the car in her car seat but only when I was in complete view of the car and the car was locked and it was like for dropping off a book or a letter or pay for gas.
I have seen parents leave children for a long time and that isn't right. I watched a mom get a haircut/color/blowout while her 3 kids were in the car bouncing around and eating McDonalds - the youngest was 2 - I asked. That was crazy, but it was her choice. I did not agree with that at all, but I can completely understand a quick two second errand where you really aren't out of range of your vehicle.
In Washington, you can even leave a child in a car while you are in a tavern as long as the keys aren't in the car and the car is not running. But then you can't drink and drive, so, what is the point of that rule? Insane.

Oh...I forgot to add, I am on vacation in Hawaii right now and I am completely shocked at how many parents just let their kids go into the pool without them near. There is one parent in particular that has 3 kids, 6,4 and 2 and all the kids are in the pool without a lifevest and the parents are over at the pool bar which is far from the pool. No way could they even manage their childs safety. The 4 year old and the 2 year old cannot even swim. I am the mom sitting by the side on the side of the pool or in the pool watching about 5 kids. This completely freaks me out.

L.G.

answers from Eugene on

When they were responsible enough not to leave without telling me or to let some else in I did. Especially if they did not want to go to the cleaners or the friend I was dropping something off for.

T.B.

answers from Bloomington on

Mine are both under 4 and I will leave them with the car off and locked for less than a minute like running books up to the library drop box, but no more. I am a total freak about this! My husband and I saw 3 little girls walking down the street in town last weekend and we both commented about how it made us uncomfortable.

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S.C.

answers from Fort Wayne on

nope! My girls are 4 and 22 months, way too young to be left in the car alone in public. I will admit that if the kids are sleeping, I'll leave them in the car in the driveway while I unload groceries. HOWEVER, we live in the middle of nowhere. I have one neighbor and they're an elderly couple. Other than that, no one for miles and miles.

It only takes a second for someone to either steal your car with your kids in it, or to break a window, unbuckle them and abduct them. Even if you have the car in your sights, you probably aren't going to make it out the door fast enough to stop something like that.

Now, when my kids are older, maybe. But probably not. I'd rather leave them at home (when they're old enough of course) than leave them in the car.

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M.R.

answers from Dallas on

When they were younger, it was only if I was at a gas station, doors locked and only open for mommy. My kiddos were 7 and 5 before I could drive tho. LOL

I never let them play outside alone.

D.M.

answers from Rapid City on

I have to agree with you, it is very stupid and I never not do it! You never know what could happen! It's sad! It sums it up to lazy parenting and if you can't be a parent then why did you have kids? I have a toddler now and when I have this next baby, I will damn sure be taking them where ever I go or I just won't go! What if someone steals you're car or kid, heat/cold gets to them and kills them, or someone hits you're parked car????? I wouldn't be able to live with that. So I guess if It makes me overprotective not to let my kid(s) not sit in the car by them-self or wonder around by the them-self then so be. At least they'll be alive!!!!

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S.L.

answers from Elkhart on

I think some of you have gotten your daily self-righteous dose this morning. I have to say that I have left my kids in the car for quick trips in cool weather. (Same thing, in car seats with doors locked) This thought never occurred to me before having my third child however. Similar to another post, it was daycare pick-up that brought the idea to mind. My last son was an early walker, 9 months. My daughter's room was at the top of the stairs and managing coats, backpacks, teacher updates and our car-pool buddy was very stressful while keeping my baby from tumbling down the stairs. Thankfully I live in a very small town that is reasonably safe. That said, I think you wise mommies have given me reason to stop this practice and realize that anything can happen anywhere. Especially with summer coming on I plan to bring all three with me or make other plans! Thanks!

J.S.

answers from Hartford on

In Connecticut it's illegal to leave your child unattended in a car. It doesn't matter what the weather is like. Even if it weren't illegal I wouldn't do it because it's just far too dangerous and far too stupid.

For that matter, in CT you can also call the police on people who leave their dogs in a car in extreme temperatures. It's considered animal cruelty.

Love My 3 Boys, it's dangerous and stupid because in simple warm weather the greenhouse effect occurs and if a child is left in the car even with the window cracked open, their brain and inner organs cook until they die. The same happens to dogs left in the car. It's worse the hotter it gets outside. When it's winter time, the children (and pets) freeze to death. It doesn't matter if the windows are cracked or if the car is left running with the temperature control on. Air conditioning doesn't work as well when the car isn't driving, and it's worse when the car is running since you add toxic fumes to the mix. Not only that but you do risk someone driving off with the car or the child releasing the break.

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