Do You Leave Your Kid Alone in the Car Even for a Little Bit??

Updated on October 26, 2011
S.K. asks from Chicago, IL
64 answers

I know it's not the right thing to do but curious to know how many still do it when you are sure your child is gonna be OK.
I generally go pick up food at a take out(they don't have drive thru) which takes just a minute or two as there are no lines and getting my son in and out of his carseat takes longer! I always think maybe I should just leave him in there and he will be fine, but somehow I always take him with me. Now in the winter I am gonna hate doing it as it's gonna take even longer.
Yesterday I saw a lady visit a friend and was talking while I realized she had a baby in the car. The car was in the driveway and can't see it from their front door( it's on the other side) , so baby was all alone for few minutes. Yes the baby was safe , it's a safe neighbourhood and the mom was not very far away. But still I was curious to know - is it ok to leave the child in the car alone? I have never done that , have you??

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So What Happened?

Thanks for all the replies. Some of you have mentioned incidents that happened to kids left in the car that are very scary. I didn't know about them. I don't think I am leaving my son alone in the car anytime. And since he is my only I think I shouldn't be complaining about taking him with me. I understand it's more difficult for moms with more than 1 kid.

Featured Answers

T.K.

answers from Dallas on

I do at the gas pump, if I have to go inside. I lock the car and go in. Especially if they are asleep. Especially if it's winter. I will freely admit that I feel guilt about it, but only guilt of what other people are thinking about M.. I know it's the absolute right thing to do for my kids, but I just dont want other moms thinking I am neglectful and telling everyone they see how shameful, that lady left her kids in the car. Sometimes we moms can be really h*** o* each other.

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M.

answers from Cleveland on

Ok, so I might not get the mom of the year award here, but yes I have. When my second son was an infant, he would fall asleep in the car on the way to get pick up my first son fom school. I would leave him in there (weather appropriate) and walk up to the door to get my son. I could see the car the whole time. He was one of those kids that woke up if you even bumped him and still is. I don't know, I think people over react just alittle bit on this. I mean I know "things can happen", but those things can happen anywhere at any time.

7 moms found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Well they are usually in the car alone when they are driving. :p

Seriously though when they were little I would keep two sets of keys to the car in the winter. I would leave them in the car, running but locked, if I had to put something in a drop box or run it up to the door. The process of bundling and unbundling took longer than running the 12 feet and back, ya know?

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K.F.

answers from Salinas on

I just don't understand some of these responses. I have a 13 and 9 year old, been leaving them in the car for a few minutes for years now. Not when they were really little but if I can see the car I don't have a problem with it at all. The oldest has been babysitting her sister at home for about a year now.
To each her own about leaving a really little one in the car, I always felt that if the car's in my friends driveway in our very safe neighborhood and I can see it, then I was fine with it. I do understand if others aren't comfortable with leaving a baby but if you cannot leave your teenager alone there is something wrong. Unless there is real reason to believe something would happen like you're in a bad area or something then why in the world could you not feel safe leaving an older kid alone in a car or at home for that matter?
I ask all the people who say "never it's too dangerous" what about the chance that something happen when you do take the child with you? Something could happen in the store that's dangerous, someone could grab your child when you turn around for a second. There could be a robbery in the store, and earthquake, a child molester lurking anywhere. I mean do you intend to never let them leave your side? I wonder how the people that say never can live that way, don't you drive yourselves crazy with worry every minute of the day?

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J.L.

answers from Lexington on

HELL TO THE NO!! Those who do need to watch the news more often.

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M.C.

answers from Dallas on

It depends on the child and where it is. My eight year old is responsible enough to stay put for a few minutes if needed- my four year old is not.

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B.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Yes, I some times left my kids in the car.

I had 8 kids.

I would bring the first one out to the car and sit them on the seat. Then I would go back into the house ans get the second one. While I was getting the second one the first one was alone in the car. Then I went back inside to get the third one and left the first two in the car alone. Then I would go back and grab the 4th one and left the first three in the car alone. Bored yet? Does anyone else see how stupid this law is? If you are one and done you can always have one child with you. But if you have three or more, it becomes impossible.

Oh well, when was the last time the government exercised common sense? Common sense isn't all that common.

Good luck to you and yours.

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I.G.

answers from Seattle on

I am a bad mother, so yes, I leave my four year old in the car by herself all the time (at least two or three times a week). It's always the same situation, we get in the car in the morning (car is parked in our driveway or in front of our house), I get her all buckled in and suddenly one of us realizes that we forgot something (cell phone, lovey... whatever you name it). You can be 100% sure that I will not unbuckle her and get her out of the car just to run inside for 15 seconds and grab something. I may be overprotective in many situations , but I am not paranoid. We live in a safe neighborhood, cul-de-sac, I can see her from the living room - I do not think it's an issue at all.
I also leave her in the car if I park literally right in front of the ATM or the book drop at the library. If it's short and the car is pretty much in touching distance, she will stay put - probably safer than to drag her out of the car with other trying to squeeze into the space next to you while you are trying to unbuckle your kid...

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B.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Here's an excerpt from an article that recently ran in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette....

Most are unaware leaving a child in car is illegal
Thursday, September 29, 2011
By Kaitlynn Riely, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

The details vary, but the circumstances are generally the same when parents explain to Joni Feldman why they left their children alone in the car.

They were gone for only a few minutes, enough time to grab a carton of milk from the grocery store, use the bathroom or pick up another child from school or day care, said Ms. Feldman, the supervisor of prevention services for Family Resources, a child and family advocacy organization based in East Liberty.

"They usually say it was only a minute or two, but there will be a police report that will be a longer time," she said.

Parents nearly always say they didn't realize it was a crime to leave a young child alone in a vehicle, even for a short period of time, Ms. Feldman said.

But in Pennsylvania and 14 other states, it is.

Most people are not aware that leaving young children in the car, even for a brief period, is subject to law enforcement scrutiny, said Bruce Noel, the intake manager for Allegheny County Children, Youth and Families.

But he said it's a law, similar to rules mandating seat belts and car seats, that is designed to make cars safer for children.

Since 1991, Pennsylvania motor vehicle code has declared it a summary offense, usually punishable by a fine, to leave a child under 6 in a motor vehicle out of a person's sight and under circumstances that endanger the health, safety or welfare of the child.

According to advocacy site kidsandcars.org, 14 other states have laws similar to Pennsylvania's, and Missouri and Kentucky have laws that apply only to fatalities resulting from children left unattended in cars.

Unlike in Texas, where children younger than 7 may not be left alone in a car for more than 5 minutes, or Illinois, where children 6 and younger may not be left alone for more than 10 minutes, there is no time element in the Pennsylvania law. There is also nothing in the law regarding supervision by older children.

Instead, the decision to charge a parent or guardian is left up to the discretion of the police officer.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Read more: http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/11272/1178397-454-0.stm#ix...

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B..

answers from Dallas on

No, never. Not even for a second. He in only 2 1/2!! My dad has worked for the city here, for 27 years. He is the guy who responds (along with the police) to car incidents. He has seen some crazy things, and they aren't as uncommon as so many people think.

P.S.
MartyMOMMA - It's a tad (a lot) ridiculous to assume, that I'm saying I'm perfect for not doing this. This is just one thing, I never do. I'm sure every parent has one or two things, they just choose never to do. By saying this, I never claimed to perfect. I just make the choice not to do it. Woman are so freaking defensive. I'm not calling out anyone's parenting, geez! I think someone is a little sensitive and insecure about their choices...

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

No. Too many bad things can happen.

Dawn

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V.B.

answers from Miami on

I'm with the others who say to use common sense. My kids are 3 and 5 and I would never leave them in the car while I went into a store for any reason, but I have left them in my own driveway strapped in to run inside if I forgot something. I also keep them in the car while I pump gas (but not to go inside the store). Just yesterday, I used the ATM which is 2 feet in front of the parking spot I parked in. I could touch the car with my foot, it was that close, so I didn't see the need to unstrap my 3 year old and get him out. I have left them in the car to run dinner to a friend's door before if I was making dinner for someone. All common sense and never where I can't see them. Yes, accidents happen and I don't want to tempt fate, but again, just use lots of common sense. There are bad people in this world and things can happen no matter what precautions you take, so I do my best not to live in fear, but also don't take stupid risks either. There has to be a balance!

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

Yeah. Absolutely. In many, many, many circumstances and situations and ages.

Of course, there probably as many if not more situations where I wouldn't and haven't... but if my eyes are on the car, absolutely. My eyes off the car, it depends on the situation.

The one that cracks M. up the most is my mum's garage. I had a non-parent friend FREAK at M. for letting my son sleep in my mum's garage in his carseat for his nap on a regular basis. Um. It's IN THE HOUSE. It's the exact same as if he were sleeping in any other room in the house. Another time someone wigged on M. with my son in her driveway (welcome to suburbia driveway). I'M 10 FEET AWAY!!! If someone starts walking toward my car, guess what? I'm walking there, too. The likelyhood of someone hiding in her bushes to jump out and carjack my car with my toddler/young child/etc. in it (or more laughable, to both get TO the car AND attempt to get him OUT of the seat, in less time than it takes M. to get there) is so far remote there is no way for M. to even begin to take it seriously.

Then there are the times where it's a durn sight SAFER in the car than WITH M.. And times where, like JoW, I used the 2 key trick (esp in winter).

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M.J.

answers from Minneapolis on

well most people are going to say no, and in all instances its NOT good to let them in the car even for a minute. However, I have slid a few times into the lazy mode. I have three kids in car seats. One is in a booster and is older. She is able to work a cell phone. So occasionally I will park for something that will take only less than 5 minutes or one of the kids fell asleep and I HAVE to do something. and I give my oldest the phone. I have a mini van with a sensitive car alarm, and I have remote starter. I lock the doors. I double check. NOW here is what I dont do. Never if its more than 80 degrees outside, or colder than 10. Never if I cant park close to the building, if what I want to do take more than 5 minutes, I put the items or what ever down, and I go get them. I might be lazy but I am not ir-responsible. I have once had a concerned motorist sitting outside my car once and they said to M., if you were 2 more minutes I would have called the cops. I wasnt mad actually I thanked her for being a concerned citizen. We need more out there!!!

Just have to say to the ones that say absolutely not, or freak about this subject. I just pray and hope that even ONCE you never do something that wasnt illegal ever. Never find yourself in a tight spot, or ONE little time get tired or lazy. Cause if you do, oh no, you might actually be like the rest of humanity and not perfect.

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J.F.

answers from Bloomington on

Wow. Kind of surprised to see so many who do.

My answer: No Freakin' Way!

Just last year on the news a family took their child out to the car (in the winter) and the mom couldn't find a shoe or something. The dad went to the front door to help her. By chance someone jumped in the car and took off with their child in the car. It especially bothered M. when they showed the house. A regular ranch style home with a regular drive way 10 feet from the door! It was a modest, "safe" neighborhood.

It only takes a minute. Please don't leave your babes in the car....ever! It's an accident that is SOOOOO preventable.

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J.✰.

answers from San Antonio on

With my 3.5 yr old, I have only done so in low-populated locations. ie: one time I pulled off to get a sno-cone. No other cars there. I left him in the car with the car running, rolled down the window so he could see/hear M. and I could see/hear him. Took a total of maybe 2 minutes.

I could see myself doing the same as the lady friend. "alone" okay imo, esp if the kiddo is buckled in their car seat. "unsupervised" is NOT okay imo.

It was annoying when the kid was an infant. I would want to go into the gas station and grab a soda or use the potty real quick. NO WAY would I ever leave my kid in the car in that situation. Too populated. Who knows - kidnappings, hold-ups inside the gas station, etc.

@ Alexis - awful situation with your dog! I have left my dog in the car with the windows open, in the shade, with NO ac running and the dog is fine. That lady was overreacting. Crazy!

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M..

answers from Youngstown on

Never ever ever!! I never leave my child alone in the car. Even if I am just running in to pay for gas, I take her with M.. Its not worth the risk.

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E.T.

answers from Albuquerque on

Yes, absolutely... but only in certain circumstances. My rules are: only where I can see the car, only where I'm away from the car only a minute or two, only if the car is locked, and only if my girls are strapped in to their car seats. So... yes, I leave them in the car while I go return the shopping cart five car spaces away. Yes, I leave them in the car when I go to the walk up ATM. Yes, I will leave them in a friend's driveway while we chat. Yes, I will leave them while I put library books in the return slot. And I've even left one who stayed home sick in the car while I walked up the steps to their small school to pick up her sister (called ahead and asked that she be escorted to the front door).

Do I leave them in the car while I dash into the grocery store? Nope. While I step into a store for just a sec to return something? Nope.

In your case, if the take out window was on the outside of the building, then yes, I'd leave my girls in the car. If I had to step inside, though - I wouldn't.

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A.R.

answers from Houston on

I left my dog in my locked, running car once (well under 80 degrees, overcast, window sun shade over front window) with the AC on full blast. After picking the dog up from the groomer, I was passing the grocery store and thought why not run since I really needed dog food. As I came back out (tops 10 minutes since it was mid-day and zero crowd), I had this lady screaming at M.. How could I leave my dog in the car, I was cruel, blah blah blah. After attempting to get several words in, it finally came down to telling her politely, "If you'd effing shut up long enough, -itch, then you might be able to hear the effing car is RUNNING." After that experience, forget it. I drag my baby in and out of the car ruthlessly. With my luck I'll have SWAT and CPS ambushing M. if I even think about leaving my child in the car. But honestly sometimes you just have to do what you have to do.

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L.S.

answers from Spokane on

I've left my 3 year old and infant buckled into their seats to run my older daughter between her classroom door and the car (as long as it wasn't too cold or too hot). Neither of them were able to unbuckle themselves and I just gave my 3 year old my camera to keep her busy. I've also left them all in the car while running in to pay for gas, but I make sure I repark so I can see my van from the store the whole time and only go in when there's no other customers waiting in line.

I live in a small safe town. Were I living in a big scary city, then you bet I'd be packing everyone around with M.!

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S.P.

answers from New York on

I won't do it to go into a store, or anywhere I can't completely control my in/out time. But, yes I do leave her alone in the driveway if I forgot something, or need to grab something from the house, yes. If I'm going to be gone <30 seconds, I'm not going to pull her out of her car seat.

I've also wondered: for those who say "never, never, never." If you have a toddler strapped into a convertible seat, do you feel more comfortable putting them into your house while you bring bags in from shopping, or do you leave them in the car while you ferry? I always felt it was safer to leave her strapped in than have her running around the house alone.

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A.S.

answers from Iowa City on

I have. I will leave my youngest child in the car when I drop off my oldest child at preschool but only if I am parked directly in front of the school. I only have to walk the older one to the door, which is about 15 feet from the curb, I don't go inside. That doesn't happen often because parking at school is a pain in the butt and in front of the school is a coveted spot. I have left them in the car in my driveway/garage to run inside and get some forgotten item. I will leave them in the car to return the cart to the cart corral (but I always try to park beside one). I know many, many people feel they need to keep their children with them at every moment but I have no qualms returning the shopping cart while my children are strapped in, ready to go. I also go outside and do yard work when they are napping. Call M. a terrible mother if you will, but I don't feel guilty.

As to it being illegal. It isn't in my state. The police expect you to use common sense. Don't leave your children in the car for more than 5 minutes and never when it is extremely cold or extremely hot.

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A.F.

answers from San Francisco on

Yes I have, but only in two locations that I was comfortable with. If I arrive home (a very quiet small good neighborhood on a dead end street) and both kids are asleep then I will leave my 6 year old in the car while I take the baby in. Then I come right back out and get him. If he wakes up he will not panic as he knows where he is and I am only gone for a minute, but I would not do this at night. If it was nighttime then I would wake him up and make him walk in. The second is when I am picking my 6 year old up from school. I am able to park directly in front of the door where I get him. I only have to step inside the door and it even has a window, so the baby/car is NEVER out of my sight, we are on school property in an enclosed area. Leaving either of them unattended in a public location or an unfamiliar area, no not now and not for some time.

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R.D.

answers from Richmond on

I asked this months ago and started a small riot ;)

The only time I leave the kiddos in the car is at our 7-11, to run in and pay for gas. I lock the car and leave my purse on the front seat wide open, so if someone's going to break in in the 15 seconds I'll be inside, they're going to take my purse, not my kids.

One of our good friends is a retired Richmond City Police lieutenant... he laughed when I asked him if I would ever get in trouble for this. He said he would pay M. $100 if I ever got in trouble for it, and another $400 if anything ever happened... it's a really safe area ;)

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A.H.

answers from Omaha on

Google Jake Robel. You will never leave your child in the car for a single second after reading what happened to him. Heartbreaking story that changed his mom's life forever. His mom picked him up after kindergarten. They stopped at a sandwich shop and she ran in to get him a pretzel and drink. Left him in the car with the motor running. A man jumped in her car and started to drive away. She ran outside to just get her son. The man would not stop and she was only able to get her son halfway out of his carseat. Little Jake was dragged down 291 highway onto Interstate 70. The carjacker dragged this poor child approximately 5 miles before other drivers pinned the car in and pummeled this guy. Unfortunately Jake was already dead. When I see kids left in cars it literally turns my stomach. I know it is a pain, but don't do leave your kids in the car. Our world just isn't as safe as we would like to think it is. Bad stuff happens everywhere these days.
HTH,
A.

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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

Nope.

Check the laws in your state.

You're right to take him with you EVERY time. Here's why:

If, in that "minute or two" that you're inside picking up food and your child (car-seat age? That means pretty young) is in the car alone -- If in those moments someone sees your child and immediately calls the cops, you will be talking to police and then to Child Protective Services. You can have the greatest reason in the world for leaving the child in the car; you can be the best parent ever; you can lock the car; etc. and it won't matter. If you've broken the law (not to mention common sense) you'll have a file with CPS and possibly a criminal file as well. It only takes one time, one call.

Find a restaurant with a drive-through, or just keep doing what you're doing -- taking him with you. A few minutes' convenience won't be worth having a record and possibly having CPS in your house, questioning everything else about what you do with your child every minute of the day. And cops and CPS aside -- it's just the safe thing to do from every possible angle.

As for the mom who left her baby in the car: If you saw the kid there, anyone could see the kid there. And take him or her. Or call the cops. Or anything. I got a recall notice on my car: Turns out this model tends to roll even when the engine is off and it's in park. Imagine that happening with a baby strapped inside.

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H.G.

answers from New York on

My daughter is 12 and no, I have never left her in the car - not even in my driveway when I forgot something in the house. Angie H below told the story I always think of. I saw that child's mother interviewed on maybe Oprah a number of years ago and it's been stuck in my head ever since. The mother could see the car and the child through the window of the store she was in. She was probably less than 15 feet from her car and she couldn't get him out in time. Horrible story, unlikely to happen again, but horrible.
I wouldn't leave my handbag on the seat in plain view in my car, I can't see leaving my daughter alone either. I do understand that when you have multiple children, you have to get them in the car one at a time. other than that, I wouldn't do it.

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L.G.

answers from Detroit on

This is actually a misdemeanor offense, so even if someone thinks it's ok, it's NOT! I also saw that Oprah episode, and as tempting as it might be sometimes, i cannot do it.

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J.D.

answers from Dallas on

Not in public areas. I have left her in the garage for a minute with the door down when I have run in for something really quick. I never leave my daughter where someone might be able to reach in or something could happen to the car. You never know when things might happen and it only takes a moment.

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ღ..

answers from Detroit on

I never have and never will. I watched Oprah a long time ago when a woman left her 4 kids in the car for 2 minutes to run and get something out of her home, I dont blame her either, 4 kids getting out of the car just for a second. When she came back the the van it was in flames. One of her kids burned to death and the others were unrecognizable. The oldest was trying to get everyone out, but the door handles were melting.

Now, I know thats a little extreme and is a rare occurance, but I think about that everytime I dont feel like dragging my kids out of the car. I cannot bring myself to leave them there. Just wont do it.

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F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

How can you be "sure" your child is going to be ok? You cannot guarantee that something bad will not happen. There are accidents that happen every day, a car can go out of control and smash into your car. Believe it or not, bad people go into "safe neighborhoods" and do very bad things. Of course its easier and faster to just leave them in the car. But is it WORTH it if something were to happen to your child? I will never, ever risk it. Just my opinion. Good luck.

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B.B.

answers from Portland on

Only when I am within close range of my car and can see the car at all times...AND when it would be safer for them to remain in the car than out of it. ATM, after my groceries are loaded and I need to put my cart away, running my son to the preschool door, etc. It is safer for M. to load them into the car from the shopping cart and then put the cart away than for M. to put the cart away and try to carry/hold hands of all of them and try to get them into the car. It is safer for them to be in the car than standing with M. by a busy street while we drop my son off at preschool. I don't ever go inside a building without them though.

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A.C.

answers from Savannah on

I've left the boys in my car with the window down OR the engine running (ALWAYS with the 2 key thing like JoW and Riley....not going to take a chance on someone stealing a car with my boys in it!). The times have been if I'm pull in to a friend's driveway and go to their door to give them something or ask a quick question or whatever----I do NOT go inside their house, but I will stand on the porch where I can see the boys and they can see M.. I have also done the windows up, engine running, doors locked thing when dropping a video or bill in a drop box outside a building, or picking up something that has already been paid for and is ready (pizza or a document), if I can see the car and they can see M.. But no, I wouldn't go into a gas station (b/c I never do anyway, really).....things like that have too many "what if" factors: too many people walking around my car, and going in to purchase one simple thing can turn into a 10 minute wait if someone's card doesn't work, someone is too slow, the machine is too slow, etc. I've been tempted to leave one child in the car while I run into daycare to pick up the other, but I have not done it. It breaks my own personal rules (inside a building where I can't see the car at all times, the kids can't see M., and the possibility of being detained by a teacher, parent, or office staff). I can't really imagine leaving them in the car while I went into a store though, but I also don't live in super cold climates or anything like that. I do shopping on one planned day a week, and anything incidental, if the weather is too bad to bring the kids out in, I'll just call my husband to pick it up on his way home OR go out after he is home to watch the boys. I'm blessed to have that option though.

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K.W.

answers from Madison on

I, like you, find dragging the kids in and out of the car to be a complete and total hassle and I avoid it whenever I can by using drive-throughs, running errands by myself, etc. That said, no, I have never left either or both of my kids in the car by themselves and, no, it is not okay. Even for a minute.

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V.C.

answers from Dallas on

When they were small, absolutely not. I was not even comfortable with the rear facing carseat. I would sit in the backseat with them when my husband was driving.
I was so thankful when most stations got pay at the pump.

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3.B.

answers from Cleveland on

I don't. I'm just too paranoid. A girl I went to high school w/ let her kids in the car to run into the drug store. Her car got stolen w/ the kids in it.....

Enough to scare M. for life!

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K.P.

answers from Seattle on

Never ever, not even once, not even for a split second, never in his life have I or will I.

Every single day your read another story about a poor child who has died, or gone missing etc. This world is much too scary to leave your children helpless in a car. Even for a minute, a second, or two. We ALL know that something bad can happen in a blink of an eye. Why take the risk?

I would rather take the small few minutes to take my child in and out of the car, than a lifetime of REGRET because I was too lazy to take him with. There's really no reason for it.

It just isnt worth the risk.

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J.T.

answers from Victoria on

yes! hubby is a deputy and says its ok as long as you can see the car. my son now can get out of his seat and open the door. i only leave them in the car while paying for gas or at the ups store where the front of the bld is all glass and i have a prime parking and can see them...i stand sideways so i can turn my head and talk to the cashier or look out the window. it is scary still even though i can see them. but i do!

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E.T.

answers from Rochester on

Never!! Not even in our driveway. So much can happen in just a minute. Our neighbor walked her daughter down to the corner to meet the bus. In the 3 minutes she had her back turned her car was stolen out of their driveway. Thank goodness she had taken their younger son to the bus stop with them.
There was a story last winter about a car that was stolen with a baby inside. The thief abandoned the baby on a snowbank next to a dumpster. It was by the grace of God that someone found her.
We have had several people at our daycare (which is in a church) have purses stolen out of their cars in the couple of minutes it has taken them to get their kids inside. Thank goodness noone has had a child taken.
Between my husband and I, we have had 5-6 different times when our cars have been damaged in a parking lot because someone backed into them. We were not there any of those times. Once my car was hit hard enough that it hit another car. Granted if your child is properly restrained he probably wouldn't be injured in a minor fender bender like that but can you imagine how terrifying it would be for him if you weren't there when it happened? In our community in the last year there have been four instances where people have accidently hit the accelerator in the parking lot and plowed their car into the building.
Even what you think is going to be a quick stop can turn into a longer stop. Cash registers go down, places are short staffed, orders aren't ready, there is another customer in front of you who has an issue. Last winter I called 911 to report a baby left unattended in a car outside the post office. Why? Because my quick stop at that same post office a day or two before took M. 15 minutes. It was cold out and it doesn't take long at all for the temperature inside a car to reach temps that are nit safe for small children. The police take those calls seriously. This dad left as I was on the phone with the dispatcher, but she got the license plate number and assured M. that an officer would be stopping at the home to talk to the parent about leaving the baby unattended.
Just last week I read a story about a 4 year old who was left alone in a running car. He got himself out of his car seat and drove the car across several lanes of a busy highway, hit a tree, and rolled the car. Thankfully he only had minor injuries.
No meal is worth all of the things that are unlikely to happen but certainly could happen. If it is to much of an inconvenience to take your son in, don't take him with you or get take out from someplace that has a drive up, car side delivery, or home delivery.

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☆.H.

answers from San Francisco on

Hell no! My kid is fascinated with operating the car and I know he'd leap into the front in a split second if I weren't there to stop him!

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K.R.

answers from Dallas on

My older brother almost got stolen when my mom went inside to pay for gas. She was walking in and realized she had forgotten her purse so she turned around and saw someone pulling my brother (at the time about 2 years old) out through the partially opened window. She ran over and grabbed my brother out of their arms but she said it was a struggle to get him because they had him in their grasp so tight. Luckily she had forgotten her purse, otherwise by the time she was done paying at the counter, my brother would have been long gone.

So yes it happens.

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D.K.

answers from Dallas on

Never. Only at the gas station where I am filling gas, with a few windows half open. If I need to go inside to pay, I will always take my kid with M.. Never, never, never keep the kids in the car, summer or winter when you are not within hand's/eye's distance from the car. Husband would be tempted to do that initially when kiddo was infant, however I have trained him well, he doesn't do that either now.

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M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

Depends. If we are in the driveway and I need to grab something quickly, yes. I leave the windows down and the front door WIDE open. At the gas station, grocery store, McD's, etc...never. They are 8, 6, and 4 and I still make them come with M. or I don't need it that bad. I guess the driveway FEELS okay for M. because I know all of our neighbors and it's for 15 seconds. Even though I feel like while I'm doing it, it is wrong.

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V.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

I live on a small dairy farm in the middle of no where (The closet town is 6 miles away, and my only neighbors are my grandparents). I admit that I have left my son in the car to run back into the house to get something that I forgot. If I am in town, then I won't.

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M.C.

answers from Cincinnati on

No I don't and won't

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S.F.

answers from Lincoln on

Just my two cents...some take out places will run the food to your car if you call ahead and explain your situation. Ask nicely and it's nice to tip them for helping out. Sometimes speaking to the manager is helpful. Don't force them but ask nicely and most are willing to assist. In many cased they are parents too and understand. If they are real busy they may not be able to do it so in those cases you'll just have to bring the kids in.

Regarding kids in car...my opinion...depends on situation. We all live in different locations and have different experiences. Ultimately you have to make the decision that best given the specific circumstances. Personally, I try to avoid it but if I do I do everything I can to reduce risks. No keys in car, kids must be either safely restrained or trustworthy, safe location, able to watch them, only gone few minutes, etc. In some circumstances, I never do it.

On a side note...I know several parents who are adamently opposed to leaving kids in cars alone in any situation (which makes sense in many situations and locations) but that same parent has never checked to make sure their carseats are installed properly or they allow their 8 year old to sit in the front seat. More children are hurt/killed every day due to improperly installed carseats or children sitting in the front seat behind the airbag, than due to carjacking, etc. Just saying... BTW A child under the age of 12 should not be in the front seat behind an airbag because their neck is not strong enough to handle the force from an airbag deployment in an accident. I realize this issue isn't quite on topic but I tend to get frustrated when a parent is so worried about car jackings but is more lax about other safety topics. Not saying you are that way but I would guess there could be a few others reading/writing these comments that are that way. Good luck and congrats on being a mom living in the real world. When in doubt..go with your gut.

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L.C.

answers from Dover on

I leave my kids in the car if I have to go in and pay for gas. They are in their carseats, strapped up tight, the car is locked and I have the keys. Thirty seconds to a minute to pay for gas.

That's literally the only time.

There was a lady in Oklahoma who took donuts to the school where she worked. Went in to give them to the office, got distracted, forgot she left the baby in the car. They baby died. It was Oklahoma in the summertime. It was over 100 degrees in the car.

That is always in the back of my head when I am tempted to do it.

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B.E.

answers from Dallas on

no...it isnt the right thing to do. Anything could happen.

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M.M.

answers from Green Bay on

Wow, you triggered something w/ all these responses! ;-) Personally, I agree with those that say use common sense!! and based on the area, situation, weather, and whether you can control the time away & see the vehicle, etc. yes, I have done this a few times. Mostly if the weather is fair, I have the car very close/in sight, and I lock it & bring keys with M.. If no one can steal it, and my child won't get too hot/cold, the risk of something else happening is, in my opinion, the same as if I'd take them out with M.. We could get hit in a parking lot, shot by some lunatic, etc.

I especially like the comment "Sometimes you just have to have a little faith or we would all have to live in little bubbles!" I understand these laws were set up because some people have no common sense!! and it can be dangerous in many situations, but come on. There is a some risk associated with doing everything these days! Of course I would never want to risk my child's life, but it should be up to the parent to be sensible & assess whether it would be ok in certain circumstances.

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H.M.

answers from Omaha on

This is the first year we've ever left our kids in the car alone ever. We did it this summer during garage sale season. Our oldest is nine and very responsible so we'd leave them once in awhile in the car, no keys, windows down... in front of the driveway of the sale we are looking at. We were mere feet from them so I felt comfortable. Up until now we never have for even a minute. It was funny but this was the year my 9 and 8 year old didn't want to go to every garage sale. If they didn't see toys they'd be like we'll stay in the car. It wasn't any skin off our teeth if they did or didn't go but I felt like they were big enough to not want to go and be responsible for themselves for a few minutes in a climate I felt was controlled enough by us. I don't know when I'll feel like I can actually leave them. Pry not for awhile. I wouldn't let them stay in the car unless it was literally right in front of the driveway of the sale no matter how much they complained. I also only did it when I felt we were in really nice neighborhoods... I had too much thought into it pry. I guess I'm so use to taking them everywhere that when they don't want to go into the gas station with M. I'll be shocked.

But it was so different when we were little. I can remember being 5 and having my 6 year old sister and 3 year old sister sitting in the car while mom ran to pay for gas, pick up something quick at the grocery store etc. We would sit in the locked car while it was running and we knew not to get in the front seat or misbehave. Now if I am running into the gas station I have mine in tow and if I see someone elses children still sitting at the pumps in the car I'm like huh? Sure if they are older I don't think twice but if I saw 6, 5 and 3 year old in a car I'd be shocked. It's amazing how different things are. I'm sure opinions on this are severe in both directions.

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J.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

I leave my kids if I can see them from the place I'm going... and it is close. I do not leave them at the gas station (a busy/dangerous place in general). Places I've left them:

Dropping off drycleaning.
In my own driveway (I live in a safe/quiet neighborhood).
In a friends driveway
In my garage - regularly! I often put them in the car (we have an attached garage) and then spend 5 minutes getting myself the rest of the way ready to go.

J.

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E.C.

answers from Janesville-Beloit on

I am surprised by how many people don't leave there kids in their own driveway or garage! I have a 2 1/2 yr old and 8 week old twins. It is next to impossible for M. to not leave a kid in the car for a little while! Granted I live in a small town. Bad things happen all the time, in our homes, in cars, in stores... Sometimes you just have to have a little faith or we would all have to live in little bubbles!

I don't and wouldnt do it often, but if I have to run in a gas station to get some milk I will. I think it is safer for M. to leave all three kids locked in a car for a minute. It isn't easy to carry two infant bucket seats and hold my 2 year old hand! I don't want my two yr old to break loose and get hit by a car either! That being said, if I can avoid it I will, and before the birth of my twins I didn't do it at all.

S.T.

answers from Denver on

The thought has crossed my mind. When I'm just returning a movie to the redbox or something and will be out of the car for literally less than two minutes. Or depositing a check in the bank. But then I remember the stories on the news. . . and realize it's just not worth the risk. You never know, so I figure it's better to be safe. But man oh man it is such a pain running errands when you have to take them in and out of the car seat. ugh.

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M.M.

answers from Washington DC on

In our community just this last August a mom was arrested for leaving a 2 yo and a 4 yo with a 13 yo child in the car, with the keys.
So if it got too hot the 13 could have turned the car on or if the 4 yo got out of control and jumped into the front seat, which is what happened, the 13 could turn the car off, which is what happened. Because he was responsible, and that is what 13 yo's do, they turn the car off and take the keys unitl mom comes back so 4 yo doesn' t start the car and/or put it in gear.
The mom had run into a friend's house to drop something off or what-have-you and a neighbor saw the kids and called police.
So we are very careful about when and where we leave the kids, and they are 10, 13, and 16.
I have never left a child in a car, nor a dog without someone of at least 10 with them, but now my 10 and 13 yo's have to come in with M. wherever I go.

R.B.

answers from La Crosse on

We live in a very small town... literly everyone knows everyone. Yes I leave my kids in the car all the time while I run and grab something at our one isle store or post office, bank. Its never longer than 5 mins or so. If I get gas at the next town ( under 1000 people) over I will wait until I can pull up in front of the doors, wait until nobody is in line or only one person and then I will go in and leave the kids.

Now if I was in a bigger town/ city there is no way I would do it. No matter how short the trip is.

A.D.

answers from Washington DC on

i do. My kids are 1 and 3 years old, and sometimes that's the only way I can use the restroom before heading out for preschool drop-off and what not. I hook them in to their seats in the driveway then run inside to use the bathroom really quick. I haven't really in public areas, except like the atm or something where i can still see them in the car. I probably will more when they're older.

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K.R.

answers from Minneapolis on

I never did while they were in car seats. When they were more like 6 or 7, I'd leave them in the car briefly, if it wasn't too cold or too hot, so basically, only in spring and fall. Now they are 11 and 14 -- and no problem.

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K.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

I like Shari P.'s point about the alternatives. I mean, you're told not to leave a kid in the car so you don't. But isn't it often safer to leave a child strapped in a carseat while you carry in the groceries, for example, than to leave the child unattended elsewhere?

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L.C.

answers from Raleigh on

yes i do, when i have to run into a post office to drop something off or run in to pay for gas it only takes a min and i can see the car AT ALL TIMES(I lock the car). I like it how you mentioned that you have never done that to avoid the wrath of "mampedia police". Nice save:)

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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

No. And my son is 8.
Once my husband got out of the car, while parked at the curb at the bank to use the ATM and I freaked when I found out!

I have had a mom come to pick up an older sib and stand on my porch while a younger sib/baby was in a car seat in the car in my driveway....that's different than a public place, I think.

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M.M.

answers from Minneapolis on

I think I vote with the common sense approach. If that restaurant does not have a drive through, seems like you need to fins a new place to get food or start cooking at home. Now, are there time you can leave your child in the car; yes I do believ it to be ok at times. Mine are big now and almost driving, but I guess I would never have left them in the car with the car running. So, that makes the winter time a time I would have not done it. I would NEVER have done it in the summer, because the car get too hot too fast. I would have never left them and not been able to see them. The mother's who say they are fearful of someone jumping in the car and stealing the kids; I just have to smile. 97% of child abductions happen when parents are fighting over children. Less than 1% are stranger abductions. That was the reason I knew Susan Smith was not telling the truth when she said someone stole her car with the kids in it. First off, if someone steals your cars, they do not want your kids, so they will ditch them down the road. I did laugh at the mom who said she had a car "full of kids" and had to take them out 1 by 1 leaving the others in the car in the process.... GOOD FOR YOU; to make a simple point. I would never forget the mom on here who said she does not leave her child in the car even for 10 seconds to return the shopping cart to the bin; GESH that is crazy! AGAIN.... Common Sense! There wil lbe times that you can leave your child, but I would never to make purchases or run transactions. I would also never leave them in a running car. Know the early years past quick, so you soon will not have to worry! BTW.... As my oldest approaches his DL; I told DH that now are the years, I do not want him in the car alone... LOL!

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S.N.

answers from Minneapolis on

I try to use drive thrus and only leave them if I have a direct line of sight.... i.e. we live in a small town so I can park right in front of the post office window and see them... and I wouldn't go in if I saw a line... only if it was M. and a quick transaction. I would never leave them w/ the car running or unlocked or w/ the keys in it.

I think it depends on where you live and how many kids you have .. like one poster said, carrying twins and holding a 2 YO hand , I believe, is more dangerous than leaving them w/in sight as you quickly do something. BUT if I lived in a busier town, city, not so great area - no, I wouldn't do it ever.

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K.W.

answers from Cedar Rapids on

Never.

Not even for "a minute."

I never leave my children in the car because I'm never sure they're "gonna be OK" as you said.

I admire you for never having left your child in the car and I hope that you keep that up, even through the winter! Two minutes of extra work buckling a child in and out of a car will seem like NOTHING compared to the lifetime of regret you'll have if something happened to them.

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E.S.

answers from New York on

I've watched too many episodes of CSI and Criminal Minds to feel comfortable "even for a second."

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