Do You Hire a Baby-sitter for Sick Kids When You Work Full-time?

Updated on August 18, 2015
L.F. asks from Wantagh, NY
26 answers

Wondering what other parents do when they return to a full-time job and their children get sick. My husband has expressed he won't be able to take off much and I think as a rookie in any field, taking off is frowned upon. My mom might take care of my kids once-in-awhile but she doesn't live that close and takes care of my young niece full-time.

Is there a such thing as hiring a babysitter for sick children? This is one of my big concerns about returning to work. My children are six and one. Thank you.

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So What Happened?

Thanks for the ideas everyone. I forgot to mention if I get a job it's a teaching job most likely. It's another ballgame with an 8:10-2:20 or 3:00 schedule. Some of my teacher friends say their principals are very tough if you call in sick for yourself or a child. Honestly, I can't get myself all worried about the "what if my child gets sick?" It's inevitable and with a second child (baby) who has never been exposed to germs in a daycare, she will get sick.

My husband is in the film & video field and his clients can be all day or not until 3 in the afternoon. Guess I'll have to hope the day my daughter(s) are sick, my husband has a client-free day.

I guess you do the best you can to be a good employee and try not to take off too much. Thanks again!

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M.G.

answers from Portland on

My husband took the day off. Thankfully his schedule is flexible so he would just make up the time, or use banked overtime.

In a pinch, I would work from home, but that wasn't generally accepted where I worked. I worked mostly with men and because they weren't the ones to do that, I stood out if I did it. It's unfair but it was like that.

We were able to use grandparents at times thankfully.

2 moms found this helpful
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A.M.

answers from Hartford on

Depends on the sickness and the age of the kid. My son who is 9 mostly is only out for a day or two at a time. We juggle between myself and my husband, we are able to work from home also. He will go to my parents once in a great while also for kind of the last day of recovery. My daughter who is10 months we have not really faced a great illness yet (knock on wood). She is at a home daycare so there is alittle more flexibility, as long as she is not contagious (stomach issues, pink eye, HFM, etc) my daycare provider will take her. I would definately look for back up care and try to find a job with flexbility. When my son was a baby we did not have the flexibilty however now we do. Depending on where you live you might want to consider what you will do with the children on snow days..........we had like close to double digits over the years.

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O.O.

answers from Los Angeles on

I'm lucky I work Pat with a very flexible schedule.
In the event of a loooong illness, my hubby takes a vacation day here or there because I don't get any vac days & if I don't work, I don't get paid.
So we juggle that based on the number of days etc.

Honestly I've thought for a long time that that would be a GREAT business to start! Babysitting sick kids.

2 moms found this helpful

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M.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

like Tracy M, when a kid gets sick my DH and I pull out our calendars and figure out who can take off that day based on meetings and deadlines. Sometimes we negotiate a split of the day, eg:
Me: I've got a meeting from 9-10am that I can't miss so I can't take off.
Him: I've got a meeting from 2-3 that I can't miss so I can't take off either.
Me: ok so if you can stay home for the morning and I promise to leave at lunch so you can be at work by 1:00, will that work?
Him: Deal.

If we go at it as a team, we have always found a way to work it out. The key is that we are both 100% committed to the team. Neither of us assumes that parenting sick kids is the other person's job.

9 moms found this helpful
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M.P.

answers from Grand Forks on

Well your situation is just like mine bc I'm a single parent and face this everytime! I dread when he gets sick, yes of course bc I feel bad for him, but honestly bc I hate having to ask off work. :(
I always take off the first day, period. First day is always the worst. Then I hire someone...it's somebody we've met before (and I'm talking about through care.com or something), and I've hired on a PRN basis. I'm sure most people wouldn't do this. But with a sick child and no parents/husband my options are ridiculously limited, bc of course that means no husband family either. So I do what I have to do. I call/text throughout the day and boss still knows I have to go if his condition worsens. When I was first navigating this problem I did find a hospital that'll watch them if they didn't have a fever but still weren't up to par. I never used that bc I'd rather him stay home if possible.
Good luck honey, definitely a good question to a very real prob!

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R.K.

answers from Appleton on

I would ask HR what the policy is at your workplace. I know a lot of parents us their sick days to care for sick children.

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T.M.

answers from Tampa on

I have heard that some hospitals do this although it can be pretty pricey to use. My husband and I decided as a couple to have children and we both work full time. Frankly, we switch off and take turns taking off for sick children. Sometimes, we compare our Outlook calendars for the day and that determines who takes off for the day.

We are very lucky that our children are healthy and do not get sick often. Dealing with sick kids is just part of being a parent...it can just be more challenging as a working parent. Sick children do not want to be anywhere but home with someone that loves them and will take care of them.

3 moms found this helpful
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G.♣.

answers from Springfield on

I was very lucky that my husband had been at his job for many years. He took all the sick days my first couple of years, though my dad helped out a little (so my husband could work a half day or go to a meeting).

Now that I've been there a few years, we split the time. If he takes a day, then I know I need to take the next one if at all possible and vice versa.

It stinks, but it really is part of parenting until they get older. It's not easy to take sick days when you are new, but you also need to be there for your kids. Either your boss will understand or he/she won't. You just have to trust that if your boss doesn't understand a parent needing to take time off for a sick child, this is not the right place for you to be. This is just one parenting issue that will come up, and it is definitely not a mom friendly place to be.

Just out of curiosity, is it possible your husband simply doesn't want to have to take sick time? If that's the case, you might want to talk to him about it and remind him how much easier your transition would be if he would take on that responsibility for awhile. I realize there are some jobs where it is really tough to take sick time, but he is a parent, too, and the two of you need to be a team on this one. He needs to take sick days, too.

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K.F.

answers from New York on

I was a single mom until my son was a sophmore in highschool. In the rare cases of him getting sick I would take off to tend to him but when I was working on a high profile project and couldn't take off I had to hire someone or ask a relative to take care of him.

I still thank God he was a very healthy child and didn't get sick often. Had he been a sickly child, I may have lost a job or two.

2 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Houston on

We don't have any family to help us out. My husband and I trade off. Sometimes one person takes the whole day and other times we each take half a day. It depends on what each of us has going on at work.

We have the option of sick care providers in our area but we have to pay for daycare whether they attend or not. If we hired a sick care provider, then we'd be paying double – sick care and daycare. Furthermore, the cost of a sick care provider is significant because it is a premium, last minute service. In our area the cost can run a few hundred dollars a day for the professional services. A sick care provider is simply outside our budget and in my mind not worth the cost because one of us can take off work as vacation or sick days as needed. If my employer can’t handle hiring a responsible human with obligations outside the office, then I need to find a new employer. I refuse to apologize for being a parent. So long as I am not abusing my place of employment, having sick kids is a fact of life and should be dealt with as a matter of fact situation. Most kids get sick for a day or two and then normal life resumes. Why should any parent have to tiptoe around apologizing about this phenomenon?

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

One of our local hospitals offers day care for kids 6 months to 12 years of age who are too sick to go to school or daycare. Cost looks very reasonable ($75/day for little ones less than 3, $55/day for school age - that is less than I pay for DS's regular aftercare when there is a full clerical/off day at school). I would check to see whether you have a similar program available.

DH and I are self employed, so generally whichever one of us has the lighter day schedules takes the day to care for DS.

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S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

it's such a difficult dilemma. fortunately our kids were healthy by and large, but kids are kids, and sickness is a reality.
most businesses understand this. taking time off for sick kids is a fact that most business owners and managers (who are usually parents too) understand so long as it's not abused. i mean, if you have a chronically ill child you have to figure out something else, but for most of us it's an unpleasant reality that we just muddle through. whoever has gone the longest without that miserable phone call to the boss is next up to bat. and yeah, sometimes you call mom, or your bestie, or a well-vetted local college student.
probably a niche industry whose time has come!
khairete
S.

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T.F.

answers from Dallas on

I would speak with HR and check with local hospitals.

Fortunately, we didn't have to deal with it because we were very fortunate to have a healthy child who was rarely sick. When she did get sick... It was a biggie!

Otherwise, we work together and run our company from home. It's easy for me to be home and work because I do all the CFO functions, post office and banking. Hubby is in sales, negotiating and manages our inventory in the warehouse. I was the one going to Dr and pharmacy visits and home when daughter needed to be home.

I believe a lot of HR policies are more forgiving now if you have a sick child.

I'm ex corporate marketing for a major salty snack company ( before daughter) and even then many people faced with this situation who did not have an in house nanny would work from home a day or two.

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M.S.

answers from Seattle on

With my nieces, whom I'm helping my brother raise, when they are sick, it's almost always me that stays with them when they are sick, even though they are 11 and 13 and I don't work. Their dad does, and it's just easier that way. The 13 year old could stay home in some instances, if it's a cold, but not pneumonia, like she had last month.

We have hired someone to care for the kids when they're sick and we couldn't be with them and family wasn't available. There are people available through the hospital, plus we've hired people through Care.com are are retired RN's and LPN's to stay with the kids. A bit pricey, but so worth the peace of mind. Sometimes we are able to get student nurses, or people who have experience with cringe for sick kids. You can get all sort of babysitters and caregivers at Care.com, it's not just for sick kids. The site is also for when you just need a night out.

If you go the care.com route, you might want to check out a few people ahead of time, just o you know who you're getting, and are already comfortable with them.

Good luck.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

We've been fortunate to be able to trade time off, or use telework. My husband is allowed to use a portion of sick time specifically to take off time for sick children or if I am very sick/had surgery.

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C.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

It is difficult. I was a single parent for a while and was once asked if my mother could take my sick child. In my opinion, my sick child is my responsibility.

Today, I am married and we are both working. I used to take the time off if my daughter was ill, but I am in a new position at work and my husband will usually pick her up and she has to go wholesale with him or they go back to his office and she shoves two chairs together and sleeps.

It is difficult and unfortunate. Of course we could go to HR, but I think the only recourse is FMLA, which is for a period of time and there paperwork to be completed by you and your doctor and filed with HR.

Most often, we will take turns for child sick days.

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N.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I think we should always try to be there for our kids. Especially when they're sick.

We used to have sick child care set up in an old docs office building. A nurse supervised and some aids helped with the kids, they took the kids and put each one in an old exam room. They had the chair and the exam table to lay on and if they got sick there was an emisis basin and a trash can.

They were a drop in child care facility so they didn't have to be licensed as far as I know. I think it was reasonable and did well but they closed down a while back.

If the kids were sick now and I couldn't stay home with them or have hubby stay home with them I'd have a neighbor or other babysitter do the care for them. But all in all if they're sick enough they might need medical care and you're the only one that can seek that for them due to HIPPA laws.

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~.~.

answers from Dallas on

If you are in a large city, I'm sure you could find someone who specializes in this kind of care.....but I bet it would be pretty pricy. I am fortunate that my work offers a few days off each year as sick family time and my son doesn't get sick that often. I've maybe used 10 days of sick family time for my 8 year old throughout the years. It really depends on your company and boss. Luckily my bosses have all been parents themselves, so a day off here or there has never been a big deal. It becomes a problem when there are extended illnesses or if your child/ren are sick every other week. If that is the case, I would see if there are any stay at home moms or older retired people in the area who might be able to help you out when you can't stay home.

1 mom found this helpful

S.C.

answers from Kansas City on

I've never heard of that. I wouldn't want to because first you're opening the sitter up to getting whatever the baby has, and S., when they're sick, they want someone they know. I was a single mom for 2 years and never had to reach out to anyone, although I would have been able to count on my mom, my grandma, and my fiancé now. I think in that 2 years he was sick just a few times. I wouldn't ask anyone outside of that little circle and I don't really like doing that.

As far as work goes, yes, it will be frowned upon if it is frequent. but it should also be understood. kids get sick. The key for most employers is that you're using your time off for true need, not just blowing it off. So if it becomes a frequent thing then yes, it would be frowned upon...but for typical kid sickness, between yourself and your husband, even if you do 2/3 of them, you should both still be ok. Try not to stress about it. Just manage your time wisely and be conservative at first to see how much they will get sick normally. Then go from there.

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M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

Honestly, no. I always took off and sometimes my husband did when the kids were younger and sick. But until the youngest was 3, my sister watched them. If it was anything other than a fever, she watched them. Our oldest had fever related seizures so we didn't leave that to anyone else, still don't.

But...my husband and I have always been blessed with jobs that 100% support families. I am on week 4 of my new job and I was 4 hours late today, taking off 2 hours tomorrow, and 3 on Wednesday - all to prep for the start of school.

A good way to get around taking a full day is to split the day. Sometimes we did that too. I would go in at 6 and be home by 11, then he would go in and come home by 5 or so. That seemed to work really well because neither of us fell behind.

Now he works from home, but even when they are sick I am the one to go pick them up and get them settled at home - that's my role as mom in my view...and I would never be able to give that up.

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

Some people hire people specifically for when their children are sick. It is usually called back up care. And you will probably pay a little more for it. A daycare provider who does it in their home might not be willing to do it as they will have other children in their home. but a nanny type person will. I have been a nanny for a family for the past 5 years. I do care for the children when they are sick. I am on the list at school and I pick them up if they are sick and keep them at home til the mom/dad gets home.

In a perfect world all parents would have unlimited sick days that they can use when they are sick and also when their children get sick. but not all of them are able to take the time off without loosing a job. So yes check with your daycare provider about their policies and also if need be go onto sitter city or care .com and look for someone willing to do drop in care of sick care. you can put in what your looking for and then it will come up. you will probably have to pay a small fee for it but it will be worth it.

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C.M.

answers from St. Louis on

Nope. Hubby and I take turns depending on who has the most days. Most companies offer sick leave so you can use it even if it's frowned upon.

A.L.

answers from Abilene on

My Husband and I have always TRIED to be off with one of our babies that was sick. We try to take a fair look at who has the comp/sick time, any important/can't miss agendas for the next day and whose income will not be hit the worst if there is no comp/sick time. We take it One Day at a Time. And regroup about day 2,3,4 etc. I must say we have been Blessed with My Dad & StepMom, who doesn't work, living in the same town and being willing to help us out. Grandparents want grand-babies ALMOST anytime except,as we have been told by many of our friends, when the babies are sick. I also had a couple of friends from work that I trusted and that our Babies knew. These women were and still are my back-ups. Either to cover my shift at work or play the Mary Poppins roll for the day. The most important is that Mama and Daddy share the blunt of missing work for your babies when possible. The only person I wanted to be with when I was sick was my Mama or my Daddy. Good luck and Stay strong.

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P.K.

answers from New York on

Who takes care of them now? You and your husband will have to split it. Somehow it works out.

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R.B.

answers from Dallas on

We take turns but it's more of a "who can take today" vs a who did it last time. Some hospitals have a separate childcare facility that takes sick kids (nurses looking after the kids And they are segregated by type of illness). It's expensive. I've had friends that have used the one in our area.

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

When my kid was little and sick, if her dad couldn't come over and watch her while I was at work, I took off work. I had no paid leave at the time. But I wasn't going to leave a sick kid with anyone but one of her parents.

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