Do You Hide the Fact You Poop?

Updated on July 05, 2012
J.M. asks from Doylestown, PA
36 answers

Do you hide the fact you poop???

I have this ailment where I refuse to admit I poop or fart. I am not disgusted by the act and can laugh about it as well. My 5 year old and boyfriend are not shy about farting, and my daughter since she was potty trained has been known to invite people to the throne to admire her deposits. “oh, look at that shape mom, I think I pooped out a castle! you have to come look!” is not an odd statement at our house. Although I have always refused and she goes to find the closest male to come and admire.

I got through 12 years of dating/marriage without pooping while he was in the house. I never farted in front of him, ok maybe by accident, once or twice. I would rather use a public bathroom then use my own if there was someone I was in a relationship there. This was one habit I broke when we separated and were still living together. I began to actually relieve myself when I had to without having the urge to hide the fact my body produces the same foul smelling waste that everyone else does.

Now skip ahead to living with my boyfriend I still refuse to admit I produce this human byproduct. He will often say “ Jen, I know you poop” when the subject comes up and my answer always is “or do I?” (side note: I wish I had a sound effect button in life because right there I usually make my own out loud , and my version of a sound effect is exactly like my version of any type of accent, they all sound alike, so I usually get odd stares at this point…or giggles and “ohhhhh Jen” from friends)

So anyway my very serious question is are you a closet pooper (not to mean you actually go in closets, that’s J. foul ewwww.. you freak!) ? or do you own the fact that you are human and create foul smelling things?

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So What Happened?

i laughed out loud when i read you dont take walks to clear your head but to clearyou butt!!! i do too hahaha

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answers from Chicago on

There is no way I can hide it. My husband walks in the bathroom while I am doing this deed and starts combing his hair or something. eeeeuuuu how can he do that? I have actually screeched at him to get out as I would like privacy in that area and then I think and how can this man possibly chase M. around later on when he J. well, you know...

11 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

I don't hide it, but I don't advertise it.
I prefer to be discreet when I "read a magazine" but I'm not hiding it.

6 moms found this helpful


answers from New York on

No I'm not a closet pooper but my husband and I have know each other for over 20 years and this year was the first year he has ever seen my lips chapped. Not the same thing but his discovery was hillarious. He thought his eyesight was getting worse because he hadn't put on his contacts yet.

I still crack up thinking about that one.

Also never farted around him until after marriage. They J. slip out. I have no more control of them. He says I'm J. too relaxed.

Thanks for the post that made M. laugh the most.

3 moms found this helpful

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answers from Seattle on

Oh, phew, thanks for the laugh!

Best moment in the last few days. I was sick in bed and my husband came running into the bedroom to act out this scene: Our youngest (J. about to turn four) went poo and forgot to flush. Eldest (J. turned five) came into the bathroom to brush her teeth, looked into the toilet and got a HUGE grin on her face, "Wow Opal, your poop looks like an 'L'! How'd you do that?" Youngest makes a strained poop face and says, "I did this (face turns pink with effort) and it came out!"

One of the ways to extinguish the charge of any argument I'm having with my husband, is to do a really loud trumpet fart. Works every time. Both of us will crack up before we realize we're supposed to be angry. I am, unfortunately, not joking.

Also pretty embarrassing, more than once I've called him in to witness a gigantic poop. "Look honey, I made a nachos baby. What shall we call him?"

We have one rule, no potty humor at the dinner table or around my husband's parents. Other than that? It get's stinky around these parts!
Okay, I'll stop before I ruin my reputation for good (if I haven't already).

14 moms found this helpful


answers from San Francisco on

Fab post Mama lol .Made M. think back to the early days living with hubby.
I used to hold in my fart until I nearly burst and would try to find a place out of ear shout to release lol. I used to envy him that he could fart /poo whenever.
Also I had it timed perfectly that the minute he was gone out to work I was on the toilet.
Fast forward 7 yrs later and hubby is saying "please love don't fart in the bed ,that's disgusting "lol
Also we are very open about the poo situation.
It feels so much better now not having to hide and the chance of severe constipation is greatly reduced lol

11 moms found this helpful


answers from San Francisco on

IF I pooped and farted, no, I wouldn't hide it.

11 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

I hide it in my current relationship. We went on a wknd getaway 2 wks ago and I couldn't bring myself to go in the hotel room b/c he may hear it! I am a gassy person, don't know why but I am. Sooooo I took "walks to clear my head" really they were to clear my butt from all the gas buildup lol. We went to McD's for breakfast and I went there. Who ever would have thought I was more comfortable pooping at McDonalds then around him.

Now when I am at home my house, my room, my farts! It's what I tell my daughter when she says " MOMMY" whenever I fart. :P

I farted around my ex all the time and so did he, but that was after being together for awhile. I also poop whenever I had to. He didn't care. I don't live with my current boyfriend but when we do it will have to change.

10 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

How in the world do you only poop when no one is around?! That sounds so uncomfortable. You'd have to hold it. My stomach hurts thinking about it... poor thing! LOL

No, I don't hide it. I even poop with the bathroom door open because I'm claustrophobic, so my kids & husband & dogs will come in & sit with M. while I do it. No big deal. Farting? Well please... nothing feels as good as letting a big one go... I don't care how lady-like I am all day, when I get home and unbutton my pants, I don't care who hears it when I let that out! haha!

8 moms found this helpful


answers from Charlotte on

I can't believe your boyfriend even mentions it. And who thinks about these things when they're married?

I never heard of a closet pooper. And after changing a host of diapers and 20 people seeing my feet up in stirrups giving birth, I am not embarrassed about anything that my body does! LOL!


8 moms found this helpful


answers from Pittsburgh on

I definitely prefer privacy, don't we all? I mean there are SOME things your husband shouldn't watch you do!
And I prefer my own bathroom, though I will go in a public place if I HAVE to! Not like my husband who LOVES to go in "new" places ("I never pooped at THIS Home Depot!" How exciting.)

8 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

HAHAHA i needed the laugh. I never even realized i was hiding it from my ex husband (while we were still married) till I was about to have my 1st child. I have always been one to go mid morning i guess cause it seems i was always at work so he never experienced it. I J. remember how embarrased i was when the nurse told M. after my c section that i could not leave the hospital till i had pooped. For the next 3 days everytime my then husband came in to the room he would ask M. if i had pooped yet.

7 moms found this helpful


answers from Redding on

I don't get bloated for anyone.

7 moms found this helpful


answers from Kansas City on

I live with all guys--a hubby and 3 boys! Nobody hides it from anybody.

The thing I've always found amazing is that I can poop in less than a minute and hubby sits there for 45....I'll never understand that.

Recently my hubby said (referring to our son), "Liam is dropping a bomb". Liam heard it and laughed. He then started saying, "I have to go drop an obama". We tried correcting him, but it stuck.

7 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

Well, though I do not try to gas out in front of my hubby, I am a burper. When we were dating, he sang "Gastric woman" to the tune of "LA woman" LOL.

I don't try to hide it, but I prefer general privacy and not announcing loud body eliminations to the world.

In a public restroom, I will flush immediately to make life easier for everyone. :) In my own home, I close the door and go, no big deal.

But heck, I see no reason to pretend my body doesn't work the way it does to impress a guy or whatever. If they can't take the fact that my body has the same functions theirs does, then I wouldn't want to be around them. :)

Embrace your humanity and cut one loose - PFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTT!

7 moms found this helpful


answers from St. Louis on

It is kind of odd, I never had a problem with my ex knowing that smelly things come out from time to time. With Troy, oh my god! Thank god we have more than one bathroom. I still turn on the fan cause then he can't hear the plop. Yeah cause the fan isn't a dead giveaway!

It is completely pathetic and I have no idea why I act this way.

I totally giggle when Troy farts doesn't bother M. in the least. This morning he warned, don't go in there....I listened.

Sorry if this doesn't help you figure out what is wrong with you but hey! you aren't alone.

I think he is on to M. though. :-/

6 moms found this helpful


answers from Philadelphia on

LMAO! This cracks M. up. Gas in our home amongst ourselves is J. something that happens. We try to tell the kids it's gross and to say excuse M. and not do it in public and so on. Pooping? Um, "I poop, therefore, I am!" Ya poop, ya poop. We spray, we don't advertise it. But of course potty training time is the time the kids make a big deal and want you to see because it's a new thing for them. Now, we do have one son who poops huge like a truck driver and only once a week so when he poops it is quite a show, lol. We went visiting family in another state and the boy actually pooped. It's hard and hard to get him to do it so when he did it was quite a show and the size was amazing! So we were at a family's home and I kid you not there were 11 people in line waiting to take a turn to look at this kid's poop! He's a little guy and any grown man could never match the size!

We were recently joking how men can go to a public restroom and pee in front of each and poop away with no problems. Women, on the other hand, for some reason have a problem pooping in a public restroom and they have tricks. I explained to my teen son the tricks some women will do so no one will know they're pooping. Courtesy flush to hide the smell. They'll sit there for a long time until you leave and then let it go alone. So you know if it's J. you and one other woman and she's very quiet and you hear nothing, you know she's waiting for you to leave to poop, lol. And the infamous, waiting for someone to flush a toilet so you can let some drop and then quickly do a courtesy flush, lol. I had a girlfriend who didn't care. She was very feminine but she felt the bathroom was there for a reason and would let it all rip! LOL Farts, gushing, groaning, you name it!

Where we were going with this topic again?

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

6 moms found this helpful


answers from Jacksonville on

I think having kids and potty training has relaxed my "standards" about poop/toots/etc. I used to go to the bathroom in private. Ever since my oldest turned 2, privacy has been rare.

When she was potty training, we had to tell her that everyone goes poop. Yes, daddy does. Yes, mommy does. No more "closet" pooping....we even had to show her our poops in the potty (and she in turn tells us about hers now. yay.)

One day I will be able to go to the bathroom in peace, and NOT have to discuss pees and poops and toots. :)

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Portland on

How could I possibly hide it? I live in a house with one bathroom. The walls are thin.... I think you get the picture. Most mornings, the bathroom is a convention center.

Like the book says "Everyone Poops".!

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Spokane on

I don't hide it (any more ;), but I don't announce like the other 3 in the house do! And I have never tooted (at 38 I still can't say the word fart!) in front of my husband and we've been together 17+ years...although, he has told M. on occasion that I toot in my sleep!!!

I have 2 boys and my husband ~ I am J. grateful when they close the door to go poop!! They too feel the need to show M. their poop..."look at this mom, it's a rocket", "oh mom, can you take a picture of this? Dad will be SO proud".

If one of the boys is looking for M. (I could be outside, upstairs, in the laundry room, in the basement or wherever!) my husband's standard answer is "she's pooping, leave her alone" ;) Thanks honey!!

Oh, and I can belch with the best of them and have taught both my boys how to "make themselves" burp :) (they know not to do this in public tho!)

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Houston on

I create foul smelling things! No doubt. Yes, I also fart and burp!!!

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Norfolk on

Yes, I poop, fart, belch and pee.
I also occasionally vomit, as well.
I don't advertise it, but they all happen.
For certain phases of my pregnancy, it became vital to know and be near rest rooms at all times "Oh! I gotta pee! I'll be right back!".
Sometimes I think my child was J. jumping up and down on my bladder.
I had a distant relative who had some colon polyps removed and her fear of developing colon cancer drove her to become ultra obsessed with her poop for awhile.
She kept a journal - how often, how much, what color, what consistency, were they floaters, etc and so forth.
It was a complete and total study of her own feces - I'm sure it was a clinical thing of beauty and helped her doctors enormously.
It was, in every sense, something more 'anal' than I'd ever care to experience ever again.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Seattle on

When my husband and I first got together we were living in a small one bedroom apartment with my son (6 months old). We went out to dinner and this Mongolian place and it did NOT sit well with M.. I was in the bathroom over and over and every time I went in there I would flush the toilet so that he couldn't hear M. going. When I was done I would light a match. By the 4th or 5th time I came out of the bathroom my (now) husband looks at M. and asks "why do you keep flushing the toilet?" I, of course, look like a deer in headlights and turn about 50 shades of red. He says, " I can hear you every time" hmmm...SO EMBARRASSED!
So, I am not so much embarrassed by the smell it's more the sound that goes along with it.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from St. Louis on

Funny question! :)
I have been married for 13 years, with my husband for 16. I have never tooted in front of him (to my knowledge). We have a 2 story house so, if I have to poop...I will go to the floor he is not on and use that bathroom. It isn't J. with him though. I have always been this way. I don't like to go at work, someone else's home, restaurants. I'm J. weird like that.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Iowa City on

Nope I don't hide the fact that I poop but I certainly don't call people in to check it out or announce that I have J. done so. I'm a rare farter. For years my husband insisted that I J. didn't fart because he never heard it but really it J. happens infrequently. I have no problem burping out loud whilst in my own home. I J. say pardon M..

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

Well, I don't run around advertising it, but I'm not embarrassed!! I am REALLY lucky, in that I am not a gassy person. I never burp, and I J. about literally never fart. I don't even have to worry about doing that in front of anyone.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Atlanta on

No. I grew up in an open-bathroom-door household, so nobody's anything is a secret to M.. I kind of figure love M., love all of M., and our new family also has an open-bathroom-door policy. If it's particularly stinky, we shut the door, but otherwise no. So...nope, don't hide it at all.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Cleveland on

I cannot even imagine!
Sorry, but I don't think I would ever be with someone I couldn't be comfortable enough to fart in front of.
Although it would be nice to not worry about getting caught in a dutch oven at night!

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Rocky Mount on

omg! of course! im married to this guy i went to high school with sense freshmen year... and i hate going when hes home... and if i do then i turn on the shower so he cant hear anything... then i take a shower so he J. thinks i took an extra long shower... one time he almost caught M. and i was so embarrassed i literally sat in the bathroom and cried that was maybe like a week after we moved in together...haha

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Houston on

Ugh, I hate that F-word and cringe whenever I hear it or read it. I almost didn't finish reading this.

To answer your question, no, I do not hide it, but neither do I advertise it. I used to hide it as a kid, but then I grew up.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Seattle on


I used to... Then joined the USMC

1) that's when you can read letters
2) toilets are SOMETIMES present, stalls frequently aren't (J. a long line of toilets)
3) after youve sat and had a 20 minute conversation with the 4 women next to you -also pooping- it J. sort of erases the social stigma/inhibition.
4) when it's normal in conversation for a person to say "Gotta go take a ______.", even more walls come crashing down. (ESP if they ask if you need to, too.. Or if anyone around offers to join them)

For a rather long time after going civvie... I had a hard time with stall doors. Oh yeah. Need to close and lock that.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Denver on

Im not at home although my daughter doesnt make it easy for M. even if I wanted to. She pounds on the door "mommy are you pooping" or there is my wonderful glorious son who is yelling "who does number 2 work for"

I do however have an issue if there is anyone else in the bathroom in public restrooms. As far as farting, I had a level 4 episotomy and as much as i would love to be able to sometimes there is no holding it in.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

I was a bit uptight about this too as I never did these things while I was dating my husband. It drives M. nuts when i try to be private in the bathroom and my husband will walk in on M. on the throne and look M. in the eye and talk while know poop LOL. I know how ya feel. Thanks for the chuckle. It is a fact of life isn't it? Especially with kids

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Honolulu on

Oh gosh no, I don't hide it and never have.
Why on earth? It is something everyone does.
It is nature.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Orlando on

i'm the same as you. i don't fart in front of my boyfriend or tell him when i'm going poop.. i will say i am a very FAST pooper! lol



answers from Tulsa on

Well, I don't announce it but I definitely don't hide the fact that I do it. For awhile when my husband and I first got together, I would turn the fan on and run the faucet full blast so he wouldn't hear anything. We lived in a 800 sq ft 1 bathroom apartment, so it didn't take too long before I got over it. I'd J. warn him he might want to wait a bit before going in. Now after 5 years I don't worry about it. I will go use the bathroom upstairs rather than the one off the living room though. My friend will go when her hubby is in the shower, in the same bathroom (we've had this weird discussion, oddly enough). I could NEVER do that!


answers from Los Angeles on

No, I announce it. "I'm having a P.A.!" (poop attack). As for tooting, I make every effort not to toot on him, but thats about as much restraint as I have.
I think my husband wishes I were more discrete. Though I am very private with the actual act itself, and will not even allow my husband to talk with M. through the door. I yell, "I'm having private time!" My husband will do it right in front of M. while I'm in the bathroom. He sees no problem with this. I am so glad our current home has the toilet in its own enclosure so I can brush my teeth without him doing that. I can remember the early days of dating and having to go home early because I'd get so bloated and uncomfortable. How can you live like this?

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