Do You Have a Joint Checking Account with Your Husband?

Updated on February 24, 2012
L.B. asks from New Rochelle, NY
53 answers

I have been married for five years, and for the last year plus have been staying home with my son. Before I was a teacher, and I made my own salary, although it was less than my husband's. For years, he would say we were going to set up a joint account, but since I had my own money, I didn't push him. It was just one of the many things he never got around to. Usually his excuse was that he was shopping for a new bank. Now I have no money of my own (other than the modest amounts in my retirement accounts) and I constantly have to ask for money. He still says he's going to get around to opening a joint account, but then, when I get frustrated that I am again asking for money, he asks why he can't just transfer money to my account. He will write me checks so that I can pay my credit card bill. I kind of thought having a joint account was a no brainer, and I am getting really upset about this. For the record, I don't have any reason to believe he is hiding financial information from me. His statements come to the house and I see them. I am curious about the rest of you. Whether you work outside the home or stay home with children, how do you work checking accounts and credit cards? Thanks!

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answers from Washington DC on

Yes. Always have from the day we were married.
Everything is joint.
He earns it -- I spend it.

9 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

We have joint accounts. We have access to all of the accounts we have, but I manage the money. My husband tells me when he is going to buy something and I'll let him know if it's doable.

All but the cruise he offered to pay for.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Augusta on

We've had a joint account since we got married 12 yrs ago.
I stay at home with the kids. I pay all the bills out of this account.

2 moms found this helpful

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answers from Houston on

It's all joint and it's all "our" money. We are forbidden from saying mine and yours. It's just something we agreed on from the get go and it works for us. I wasn't going to marry and only pool certain resources. I will most likely always out earn my husband and I wasn't going to insult him by having him ask for money or creating a division of finances where the earnings disparity was clear cut. For me any of those things would only build negative equity over time in our marriage. Just my opinion, though, and what works for our family. Separate works for many couples. Good luck.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

We have a his, mine and ours.

When I was working - it was MY money as my money never factored into the family budget.

When I stayed home with the kids - we set up a bi-weekly allowance for food, etc. If I need more - I tell him.

Don't let money get in the way of your marriage. Tell him what you are expecting. Tell him what you need and work it out from there.

there is no reason why a joint account can't be set up at the bank he currently uses. That should be what you have access to for household things such as food, clothing, gas, etc.

Get a budget in place and figure out what you need and tell him. Don't hold it in and don't accuse him - tell him what you need and expect. He can't read your mind. You are starting to harbor ill feelings - don't hold it in. TELL HIM!!! You can do it.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

We both work, and make about the same amount. We have always had a joint account since we got married. Everything we have, assets and debts, are ours, not mine or his. We have weekly meetings where we go over all of our bills and our budget together so we stay on the same page. This works very well for us. I think married couples should keep everything joint.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

Yes we do. I Havnt worked in nearly 5 years as I too quit my job to be a sahm but even when I worked, we both put our money in my account. We eventually (within 6 months) changed it to a joint account. I know how you feel! I hate asking for money like im getting my allowance. I don't see the big deal? Why don't you take the initiative and find a bank with good rates, ect? I usually pay the bills and get everything organized because bless his heart if he had to do it, it would dark in our house!

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Houston on

And y'all are married???? " but then, when I get frustrated that I am again asking for money, he asks why he can't just transfer money to my account. He will write me checks so that I can pay my credit card bill."

That, to me sounds like a co-habitating arrangement, not a marriage. It's sounds like he's doing you a favor allowing you have some of HIS money.
It goes back to the 'his money/her money' thing, I never understood that.
Good Luck

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Cincinnati on

We have our own separate checking accounts and separate credit accounts. I work outside the home though and have direct deposit into my own checking account twice per month. I know we are in the minority but separate accounts work great for us. We would fight about money all of the time if we shared an account.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

We have been married for 9 years. Going into the marriage we just both assumed we would have one account - that's what our parents did. I didn't think about the fact that we both were raised with different moral values of a dollar. After 6 years of running out of money and getting overdraft notices I told him I was getting a separate checking account - I couldn't handle the strain and stress. I figured out how much we both made and what bills we'd both take based on the percentages. Ever since, no issues in the money department.

Your situation is certainly different as you are now not receiving a salary - I would insist on a certain day saying "we are going to the bank at X time so we can remedy this joint account business." Don't give him a chance to make up an excuse - just go.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Cincinnati on

My husband and I had a joint account from the very beginning. At that time, I had more money than he did, but he had (and has) more earning potential, so we knew that the tables would be turning quickly. We never wanted money to be an issue between us, and this was re-emphasized when I began staying home with the kids. That money is ours, and neither of us make big purchases without consulting the other.

Set up some time on Saturday and just tell him you're going to do it. What you're doing right now is playing with fire, and not just in the case of divorce, etc. If your husband were to become incapacitated, would you be able to access that money? Not necessarily. Take care of this now. Good luck.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from La Crosse on

We only have a joint. We don't have our own each since the day we were married. The day I got married he closed his checking account in the city where he is from and I put him on my account in our home town.

Right now he is the only one working and it has been that way more than not while we have been married. I have been a stay at home mom with getting a job here and there when we needed the extra money.

Actually even though he is making the money Im more in control of it. He has and uses the debit card for gas or if didn't make his lunch in the morning.. otherwise I pay all the bills and we go grocery shopping together ( but I make out the menu for the week and get what we need, he is just there for the company). I do the monthly budget etc and tell him what we have left for him to use.

We don't have and never have had a credit card so we don't have an issue with that.

Honestly there is no reason why he can't put your name on his checking account. There is no need to find another bank. What is wrong with his bank that he needs a new one?

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Minneapolis on

I stay home full time. We are joint everything. I have "unlimited" access to the credit cards, bank accounts, and everything else. All our cards and accounts are in both of our names, except retirement accounts.

When we got married (almost 9 years ago) we had just bought a house, so we had combined everything at that point - even before we were married.

I have a friend who married late (over 40) and she and her husband kept everything separate - it seems so strange to me. My younger brother and his wife keep it all separate too - he pays these bills, she pays those bills, this is her money that is his... it works for them (they both have income) but it seems strange to me.

That said - we are both frugal, and similar in our spending. My husband never shops, I do all the household and kid shopping. If I didn't have access to the funds we wouldn't have clothing, shoes or groceries...

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Milwaukee on

Yes and no. He has access to it but I pay bills and write any checks. If you saw how he took care of his banking in the past you'd understand. I took over his checking account when we were dating and never looked back.

I pay everything on time and there's always money in the account. He has a debit card and just gives me the receipts when he gets home. It works for us and has for over 25 years.

I do have a giant printed password list in case anything ever happened to me including my email account.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

When I was married, I always had a join account. And I'd always end up broke when he got mad and cleaned it out. (abusive relationship, another story).

This time around, I didn't get married and am in a stable long term relationship. We have separate everything. And I will be keeping it that way.

But in your case, and I have been in your shoes, I'd go with him to the bank. His money IS your money. Especially if you've opted to stay home and taking care of the kidlet.

Sending good thoughts your way.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

Yes, we have always had one--24 years. I also have a separate one because I am self employed and have to keep that money separate and I use it to pay for business expenses and just a few other things.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Denver on

We do not, but I am a spender and he is a saver. In our situation it is much wiser to keep seperate :)

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Raleigh on

I am a F/T working mom, and my husband and I have a joint checking account. I just added him on to my account when we got married. I am the primary on all of the accounts, along with our mortgage and most credit cards. Since I am the one that pays all the bills (the "domestic accountant" we jokingly call it), it just makes sense.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Orlando on

I am a stay at home mom too.
I don't have any credit card, we do have 2 join debit card and he has a credit card.
His credit card is basically what he uses for his work expenses (rent hotel, cars, pay plane tickets) that he needs one and work pays him those expenses back to that one, and I am not in that credit card.
Then we have a join debit card where he puts all his salary and we use what we have in there.
We have an extra debit card for savings or for things we don't want to mix with our every day expenses.
This work for us.
Is there day off for him coming soon, perhaps you can make this a priority fir that day.
While your husband has being responsible and make sure you do have money, it is not only annoying having to ask but emergencies happen, and last thing you want is to be in the middle of one and have no money.
You guys could also open a new one together if that is a good option in your family.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Seattle on

My husband and I have always had joint checking and savings account. We both have debit cards to the account, and can spend wisely when we feel we want or need to. We both have access to checks to pay bills and have online access too.

It is all in OUR names.

He works full time, and goes to school during the week, and I stay home with our son full time.

It doesn't bother him that he is the one that goes out to work all day and the such, he likes it and feels good providing for us, and knows that I too am providing for us too, just in a different way.

It's just what works for us.

It's sad that he hasn't gotten you on the account yet. Have you asked him straight out why? And no, oh I'm looking for the right bank stuff, that is just ridiculous excuse.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

I'm a teacher, and my husband is the internet director at a car dealership.

We have joint checking and savings. All of our money is intertwined. It's always been that way, and it works for us. We've been married 18 years next month, and money has never been an issue for us (as far as something we argue over).

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Norfolk on

We've had a joint checking since we decided we were going to get married. Been married 5 1/2 years. When we got together, we pretty much used my checking acct. I turned it to "ours" shortly before he purposed. (I knew he was the one I was going to marry. :) ). I am a SAHM, and pretty much run the money. :P If he wants to buy something, he'll ask if we can afford it. I tell him all the bills and where the money goes. He may not mess w/ the money, per se, but he knows where it all goes.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Madison on

We have joint bank accounts but we each have an individual credit card. We don't use our credit cards other than for online purchases really. There is really no reason why our credit cards are seperate.

We've had joint accounts before we even got married. I don't understand how familys don't have joint accounts. All money in our house is Ours...not his or hers! I can't imagine living like that. Sorry you have to deal with this

BTW...not that it matters or should matter, I am a SAHM...and I am the one who handles the finances.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Seattle on

Yes, joint checking and I would not have it any other way. I would feel terrible if I had to ask DH for money for groceries and stuff. We have always had a joint account since we moved in together. I don't work right now (FT school) so I know exactly how you feel always having brought in your own money.
While DH was in school I was the sole provider, I am sure he would have felt awful if he would have had to ask me for "lunch money".
We both have our own credit cards.

I know only one couple who always kept their finances separate - even to the point of splitting the bill - I always thought that was odd and they are divorced now....

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Pittsburgh on

Kind of. LOL

Actually, we have TWO joint accounts. O. for me, O. for him. Each is accessible/usability for each of us. For us--that's what works best.

In your case--since you have no income right now, you NEED a joint account!

You can probably go & set it up and then have him do the signature card, etc. and take it back to the bank. You both don't have to be there at the same time to do it.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

We have a joint account and used to put X amount in to pay bills but now we each just pay a certain % of our income towards joint bills. We’ve always had separate “spending accounts” & NEVER had joint credit cards because my husband is horrible with money. With that said next time you’re out and about make an “unplanned” trip to his bank with him and add your name. If he is still reluctant to do this I would make sure he directly deposits a set amount into your account each pay period to cover your expenses.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Jacksonville on

Maybe I am one of those ladies that will get lots of advice to "protect myself" and that I need to set up a lot of stuff in my own name "just in case".....
But, since the day we were married, my husband added me to his accounts. Including with his HR office at work so as to receive benefits thru his work (not just medical insurance, but spousal benefits via his retirement accounts and such, the survivor's portion of all that, etc).
He was not added to MY checking account though. Once our first child was born, and I started staying home (SAHM) we eventually closed MY account, since no $ was going into it. His check is direct deposited into his/our credit union account (and always has been). We do, at this point, have another joint account, but we don't use it much. It is the result of when we built our house and had a construction loan set up... we just never completely closed the account with that bank--just converted it into a standard checking account, instead of a construction account. It is a local bank, our credit union has no physical branches here... so there is an element of convenience for when we get checks that need to be deposited (rebate checks, personal checks, etc, things that really can't be direct deposited).

My husband doesn't "do" our finances. I am the one who does them. I mean, we discuss big things, and "meet" periodically to discuss big picture things. But day to day---he doesn't know and is happy that way. Probably the reverse of what used to be typical, lol.

I pay the bills, I balance the checkbook(s), I dole out the cash for spending each pay period. I don't give him "an allowance" though. We discussed a budget and how much "blow" money we each need/can afford, and that is what I get out and give him each time. Not because I decided to let him have this much $, but that is what WE decided and I am the one who physically manages it, so I am the one who takes it out of the account.

We don't have separate credit card bills either. They are joint accounts as well. It is ALL ours. Not his stuff and my stuff. That's the way we conduct our entire marriage. Used to have both names on the vehicles, too, until we realized what an inconvenience it was every year when it was time to renew tags/registrations. We BOTH have to go together for both vehicles that way. So we took my name off of his, and when we bought my last one, put it only in my name. Now whoever drives the car and pop in and pay the tag/registration when it is convenient and it doesn't have to be coordinated between us both. :)

Before you nag him too much about putting your name on the checking account, maybe you should just say "hey. We need to have a 'family meeting' to discuss our budget and finances". Conduct it like an actual business meeting where you take notes about your plans and the steps to implement them. Then you have something to point to and say: We decided we needed to ______ and we need to get it done. What day shall we do ___? And then do it. Take a long lunch together one day to accomplish it if you need to.

I also, on the advice of one of our financial advisors, have a Roth IRA in my name. When the cash flow is there to fund 2 of them, then we will add one for hubby. But until then, we fund one for me only. It isn't "fully funded" (meaning we don't contribute the maximum allowed per year) yet, but when it is, then we will look at setting one up for him also. Until then it all goes in my name alone.

I am the primary financial record keeper in our home. He might know what box things are in, but that's about it, lol. Probably need to "school him" sometime in case something happens to me.... :(

Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

Yes. We started out with his/hers/ours. When my income changed, it became less "ours" (that I had direct deposit into) and more his/hers/his. I can write checks off it, but that last account is still "household" so checks written from there are for things like car insurance and utilities vs credit cards we have individually.

You might ask him for a specific amount per paycheck to be put in your account based on the bills you need to pay. That way you get it without asking (direct deposit can be done to many accounts) and you still get the money you need for shopping or whatever.

Further, technically DH and I are on our other accounts, though we don't use them. That's so that should anything befall one of us, the other isn't without those funds. I work PT and mostly still cover my own bills but sometimes need him to help me out.

If this is important to you, then you say, "So, next Thursday they're open til 6. I'll meet you there." Having your own, though, will allow you some freedom if you want it and I like having a small pot of money for my own purposes, like his Christmas presents.



answers from Boston on

We've always had joint accounts, even when I worked. All the credit cards are joint accounts. I'm on his, he's on mine. I don't see the point in having your own account as a stay at home mom with no income.

I would definitely get myself added to his bank account. I personally would also combine credit card accounts just for simplicity and budgeting purposes. You need to have your own for credit purposes but you can be authorized on his and vise versa.

If you two have different outlooks financially, then it would be a good idea to get on the same page. But with no income, not having access to the bank account is a problem. Also in the event of sudden death or incapacity, you would be unable to do anything with his accounts if you are not authorized on them. Obviously as his wife, eventually you would be able to do it, but you couldn't do something right away. Obviously that is remote.


answers from Dover on

We have 2 joint accounts. One is through our credit union & is technically a savings account, but it's what we use for the mortgage & other household bills, as well as a little bit of spending money for each of us.

The 2nd joint account is a checking account & it's more for convenience's sake, like at the gas pump or if we want to order something online or pay a bill online or something.

I also have an account at the credit union that's in my name only & he does not have access to. This started because he's horrible at saving any money at all & every time we would get paid, we were starting in the negative. I put us on a cash-only system to pull us out of the hole & it worked very quickly. Once all of the bills were caught up, I realized that having easy access to all of the money we were bringing in was causing us (him) to spend every cent of it, so I started leaving some money in my account where we (he) couldn't just withdraw it whenever. This has turned into a blessing in disguise for me as things have become extremely rocky between us & I've now got access to money all on my own should he decide to up & leave at some point. I'm not hiding it from him & if we had an emergency, I would certainly withdraw it to handle something like the water heater breaking, etc., but otherwise, it just sits in my account growing a small amount at a time each time I get paid.

As for your particular situation, that wouldn't fly with me at all. I would ask him point-blank why he's avoiding opening a joint account with you. At the VERY least, I would want him to set up an automatic transfer so that every time he gets paid, money goes into your account. Trust me on this though, if, God forbid, there was ever an emergency (medical, or what-have-you) & you HAD to have access to the checking account, you'd be screwed.



answers from Chicago on

Nope. We have our own checking but I do have access to his since I manage the bills and stuff and watch for any fraud or whatever. But we do have joint savings. We each have our own credit cards plus 1 joint just in case.


answers from Washington DC on

yes, we have had a joint checking and savings account since day 1. We don't use credit cards so we don't have to worry about that.


answers from Spokane on

I am a full-time working mom and my husband and I have had a joint account since we were married almost 10 years ago.
We both have direct deposit and I take care of paying the bills. We both have a check book and a debit card and he sometimes remembers to give me his receipts. We discuss all purchases over $100.



answers from New York on

my fiance and i have been engaged for only a little while now but we hav been living together for around 4 years.. we both always worked up until i found out i was pregnant a few months ago and we moved back to nj from vt .. we'v had a joint checking and savings account for like 2 and a half years now and i have a credit card



answers from Denver on

We've never had a joint checking account (together for 20 years) and I don't want one. I watched my parents battle over money the entire time I was growing up - it sucked. My Mom was always bouncing checks (cause if there are checks there has to be money, right?) and my Dad was always screaming at her cause she kept bouncing checks. No thanks.

We both bank at the same institution so he just transfers me his share of the bills each time he gets paid - it actually works great since I manage the money. I also have a f/t job though and my own money - not sure how it would be if I was SAHM and required his income for spending cash.



answers from Columbus on

It sounds like a control issue to me.

We have joint checking & savings. When I got married, 11 years ago, we got joint accounts together. At that time, my DH made a lot more money than did, but it was never an issue. We are both responsible with money, and are savers. We don't buy stuff over $50 without checking with the other first and/or discussing it. We added me to his checking/savings, and him to my credit card.

I suggest sitting down and just asking him. Don't be emotional or confrontational. Do it at a time when you don't need to ask for money and when you are both not stressed. Use active listening (I statements instead of You statements; never accuse, etc.) Something like "I'd like to talk to you about our bank accounts. I have noticed that setting up joint accounts keeps getting put off. I find frustrating and a little demeaning that I have to ask you for money all the time. What are you thoughts on this?"

If he says there's nothing wrong etc., then come back the next day with a calendar and say okay, good, let's set up a time for us to go to the bank. Here is the calendar. What day can you do it?



answers from New York on

It took my husband and I years to join finances and its still not perfect. Its a HUGE marriage issue. I found this video a while back and we've implemented it. Its actually very helpful because it forces us to work as a team.

Hope that helps!



answers from Los Angeles on

Joint account. All one big pot of money. We both work. I pay all the bills and monitor the money. Hubby is free to spend what he wants but we always tell each other as a courtesy. He thinks I'm crazy because I'll say "you went to McDonalds AGAIN this morning?"- I really check the bank that frequently. He can't sneak anything by me :)
We also have a Credit Card as backup, I have a budget I stick to on it and pay it off every month. I'll tell my husband whether to put a big charge on it or just use the debit card. We have pretty good financial communication. Works for us.
My mom still has to ask my dad for money after 44 years of marriage and it has made her extremely stingy in her spending. That seems like it really sucks. She doesn't work but she has at various other times of her marriage.

I'd push for the joint account. Much easier. With online banking, nowadays you can freely monitor each other's expenditures by the HOUR (if you want to be as anal as me!)


answers from Houston on

I don't work, he does and everything is in my name.


answers from Seattle on

I don't work right now (although I have an interview today!) and am home with the kids. My husband works 2 jobs and side work on the weekends. We have one checking account and all the money goes in there. We check with each other when we spend money to make sure the other didn't during the day. That's it. I would be PISSED if I had to ask my husband for money on a regular basis.


answers from Lakeland on

You really should have a joint account. I have my own account and we have a joint account too. I just haven't closed mine since my tenants deposit their rent into it.
What if something happened to your hubby? You need to be able to access the money in there. I would just go to the bank on a Saturday morning with him and sign the paperwork.


answers from Norfolk on

All our accounts are joint - we both have access to everything.
Both are names are on the house(s) and vehicles - even the boat.
But I don't mess with 'his' checkbook and he doesn't mess with 'mine'.
Two people spending out of one checking account just makes for trouble, so we both have our own although we are both on both accounts.
Our paychecks go into various accounts.
I have a credit card I use for birthday and personal buying - I pay that off every month.
He has a few cards that I am also on that we both use for cash back purposes (food shopping and gas) - he pays those off every month.
My checking account pays for our sons activities - taekwondo, clarinet/band and all our clothing.
Husband's account pays for mortgage, utilities, insurances, most major purchases.
He earns twice what I earn, but I save up enough to make a mortgage payment every so often and paid for most of my new car (we pay cash for vehicles so there are no auto loans).
We transfer money where ever it has to go - there is complete transparency and there are no hidden assets - it makes for much easier estate planning.
If one of us dies, the other has access to all the funds/accounts, and life insurance will pay off our only debt - the mortgage.
He's offered to just pay for everything if I set my paycheck so everything just goes into one account, and we might do that someday, but for right now the system we've come up with works well for us.
We'll celebrate our 23rd anniversary this summer.



answers from Eugene on

Have your dh transfer the money and keep your own account. It's simpler that way. When I was married, my ex and I tried the joint checking account and it was a nightmare. He'd take the checkbook out of my purse to do bills and forget to put it back. I'd go to the grocery store or need to write a check and be stuck. Enjoy having your own account and a little independence. Your dh is being gracious to offer to do the transfers and not oversee your spending. Sounds good to me.


answers from Chicago on

I am not married, engaged and we have had a joint account since the birth of our son, 5 years ago!



answers from Kansas City on

We do, yes. When we got married I was also a teacher and of course had my own account. I was put on his account when we married turning it into our joint account. I started staying home when our first child was born so basically I closed my account, transfered the money that was in it into the joint account and that was it.

I agree that if you have no income, you absolutely need to have access to the bank account. It is not fair that you have to ask for money, etc. It's one thing to have a discussion and agree upon a system similar to the one you are in, I know plenty of people who do that, but it's not okay for you to feel as if you have no say.

Maybe you can just stop by the bank on your next day out doing errands and put him on the spot. You can always make it joint now and then continue to "shop around" for a better deal.



answers from Seattle on

I'm a stay at home mom have been for the majority of the past 8 years. Once we were married I told my husband 1) I want to be put onto the account and 2) I want my own debit/credit card. It all happened on the same day one weekday he had off. I use my cards as needed but always do consult him beforehand just to make sure we can afford it, whatever it is. I enjoy the freedom of having access to money just in case something happens while he is away at work. Not sure how to get your husband on that page but best of luck!



answers from Amarillo on

We have two joint accounts and I have a separate account. My husband was military now retired and we always had a joint account. When we came back from overseas and I got a job, I opened up an account so that I could put my money in it. The credit union at the time was not the best place to put money as it took almost two months for checks to clear and things would go weird. Orders came in to go back overseas and in order to get money there I added hubby to my account.

Fast forward our return to the states and he wanted an account so we opened up the second joint account in another state. I then went into real estate and to keep monies from being comingled I opened up the separate account and paid my dues, office rent and such out of it. Now I have my paychecks deposited directly into my personal. Actually each account has money deposited into them directly and they are at one bank so it is easy for me to move money around when necessary.

My husband has never questioned how I spend money. In fact he is happy that I have managed the money and not him due to some crazy habits he picked up as a child.

So let hubby transfer funds to your account so that you don't have to ask for it. Also get him down to the bank one day and get that done. I don't know why he is stalling. If need be get a whole new numbered account and transfer the money into that one.

Good luck to you.

The other S.

EDIT It was easier for him to have an account for money and have my account as the main home account to take care of things so that we knew where and how much was in the accounts for projects. This was realy great when he was a long road trucker.

He is on my account should something happen to me so that he can use the money otherwise he has no access to it.


answers from Phoenix on

We have 4 accounts, none of them joint, although when we got married 2+ years ago, we intended to. We both have a business account (we both own businesses) and we both have a personal account, so 2 accounts each. We both have password info and access to all accounts. Like I call all our bills in and use his personal account for the payment info. All my child support payments are direct deposited into my personal account. All our business costs come out of our biz accounts, etc. If I were you, I'd be PISSED! He is obviously controlling you and your finances and its not right. Even if your name isn't on the account, you still should have your own debit card you can use. I hope you guys get this worked out. Good luck.


answers from Detroit on

I am also a SAHM of 7 yrs. Hubby & I do have a joint account and have had it since the beginning but I do also have a separate account that is mine & hubby set up a direct deposit to it so that every pay period an allowance goes into it & that is my money to do whatever I want I have a horrible Starbucks habit; LOL I am also a spender & hubby is a saver. I pay all of the bills out of joint account. I also have the bank card from our joint account that I use for gas, groceries or things for the kids & 2 credit cards that are mine so whatever I spend comes out of my account when it comes time for paying them if I use them.



answers from Austin on

When we got married, we had "his, mine, and ours" accounts, and we were both on the credit cards. DH manages the joint account, and he decided that he only wanted to keep up with one account, so he dissolved his. We use our credit cards for most things, and pay it off every month from our joint account (frequent flyer miles! plus, it's easier to protest a credit card charge than stop payment on a check). We try to live below our means, so we can pay our bills on what he makes, so while I was working, most of my money went into my personal account, which became a money market account - that was our "capitol expenditures" fund; if we wanted something big, that was the money for it, without blowing our budget. What was left after I quite working, became my personal "rainy day" money. I've been bleeding it slowly - I still have access to the joint accounts for most things. We have to work a lot harder to save for big things, now that I'm not working! My husband's car is going on 15 years old now...

We rarely write checks (most of our bills are autopay), but our daughters' preschools didn't take credit cards, and neither does the PTA, or the extracurricular organizations that my oldest child is interested in.



answers from New York on

We don't. I set one up when we got married but with our paychecks going to our old accounts, we never used it. We both work. I can't imagine being a SAHM and not having joint accounts though. It could partly bc that setting up a new account is just a pain in the butt. There's always something more exciting or pressing that needs to be done. Have you tried getting the paperwork yourself so all he has to do is sign it? If you do absolutely everything possible to get it set-up yourself and it still doesn't get done, then it's an issue. Otherwise it's possible he's just procrastinating bc he doesn't see the real need if youre not actually left without money. Can't you also sign his name to his checks? Sounds stupid but he'd have to press charges against you for it to cause problems. I think when you're married, it's kind of ok. Not sure but I know I sign my husband's name to his credit card sometimes. I figure it's "our" bill as we're married so who cares? Maybe just start doing it or order another credit card with his name and start using it so you don't have a separate bill. My mom often used my dad's card.



answers from Los Angeles on

Been married almost 11 years - joint account....sort of. We each had our own money and our own accounts and just added each other's names on them, but only had 1 ATM card for each account. My husband hates ATM/debit cards, so it wasn't until 4 months ago that we got our own ATM cards in a new account, connected to our savings. Until then, we had a business and if he needed money out of the ATM, he'd get the card our of my wallet...since we work together now, so we are together all of the time.

When we were first married, I was in grad school, living on student loans. Then I graduated...but I still had to ask for money, since we hadn't gotten around to getting joint account. He paid all of the bills. I got pregnant 7 months into our marriage, so I was 4 months pregnant when I graduated. I didn't start working full time (and bringing my baby to work with me) until he was 6 months old. He still paid most of the bills. 5 months after I started working, he quit his job and became a stay at home dad. HE had to ask for spending money. LOL I'd hand him a $20 bill and walk away, like he did with me. After a year of this, he finally told me he needed more money and I responded with, "I know. I've been waiting for you to tell me that. This is how I lived for over a year. It sucks, huh?" He finally understood and that's when everything really became a joint thing. He also finally added my name to his investment accounts and took his mommy and daddy off.

I read in MONEY magazine that Alliant Credit Union was the best bank to bank with...and we have already had an account there for years. They have free ATMS all over the place. Instant transfers within their bank. You might want to check them out and just open a savings with a debit card and have him agree to add so much or just open a joint and have him close his. This will balance the power struggle.

Oh, all of our credit cards are joint, except for 1. We have a really unique last name, so we use 1 cc with my maiden name, like Jane Smith, for internet purchases. He uses it for internet purchases and is on the account as an authorized user, but that's it. Everything else is in both of our names....equally.

I pay all of the bills for the business and for the house, so he really never knows what's happening. I go and get money out of the ATM, when I need it, but since we are together literally 99% of the time, he usually has money....and I let him pay.



answers from Dallas on

when my husband and I got married we got a joint account - had it that way for years. We had always made about the same $$.Then I took a job at a nonprofit and my paycheck was basically cut in half (yikes!) he was griping about my hair, my clothes,etc. so I just opened my own account. . . Started depositing my paycheck there.
Then we split the bills in an equitable way, not down the middle because I have some different personal financial goals right now. We've been doing that for about 5 years. I like it.

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