Do You Attend Classroom Parites for Your Child?

Never. Unless I have an invite from the teacher or I am helping with the party. As a teacher, I have never had parents attend my class parties.

When I was a kid classroom parties were for the kids, not the parents. I think schools are simply trying to make it that way again.
Honestly those "upset" parents really need to get a life.

No. I don't go to all the class parties because 1. I am not in their class 2. My kiddos don't want me there anymore. (growing them to be independent and all)

When my boys DO want me there, I ask the teacher if this is a parent party or not. If not, then I don't go and explain to him why. I am the class photographer, so this year I may go a little more often for the memory/yearbook but that is it.

Unsolicited comment: for ADULTS to get upset over not being involved in their child's school party is ridiculous. Not you, but all the "very upset" folks.:(

I don't understand why you feel you need to be there. Let your kids have fun with friends without you being right there. It really will be ok. Then they can come home and tell you about it.

Can you imagine if EVERY child had even just one parent at every party in every classroom? I'm guessing there was a class or two that got out of hand with parents who felt they needed to be at every party and it's just overwhelming for the teachers.

Our school has 4 parties per year. Four parents per party are asked to volunteer to plan, prepare and be there during the party. No one can volunteer more than once during the year. The room parent helps and attends all parties. Seems reasonable to me.

If I am understanding your post correctly, you are accustomed to attending the holiday parties and you and other parents want to continue to attend???

I don't understand the need for any parents to be there, unless the teacher or school has enlisted them for their assistance. The only time we show up is when they have put together a play or performance for us to see. Otherwise, there are picnics and more picnics for us to attend.

I don't know about anyone else, but I need to be at work and my child needs to be at school.

I can't imagine attending these things on a regular basis. Our kids' classroom parties are run with maybe one parent helping out. My youngest is in 2nd grade and for Halloween, we were asked to supply things like plates, popcorn, fruit and another healthy snack. All items were dropped off and the kids had their party with their teacher and a classroom aide.

I think your school's decision is the right one. Having these turn into events with lots of parents is disruptive and unnecessary.

And I agree with Mamazita's "get a life" comment and it's exactly what I was thinking. Are there really adults out there with nothing more important to do during the day than crowd into a classroom for a party? Why are there "many parents" available during the day for this nonsense?

There are times when I attend. It is at the events that are parent/child focused. Programs, parades,plays. Classroom party is the teacher's domain. She is in charge. If she asks for help then sure I am there to "help". Not be a participant or be there to watch my child enjoying their cupcake,doing a craft and talking with their friends.

Parents should only be at parties to help the teacher with the stations and corralling kids to and fro. Not to sit and watch and mingle.

I personally would respect the letter sent home. If a letter is sent home then it has gotten to the point where it is out of hand. Teachers feel more in control of their classroom and students if there are not too many "cooks in the kitchen." It gets confusing to children when parents are there and their teacher...so things get a little more loose. And behavior goes haywire.

I taught kindergarten before having kids. I am speaking from experience. I loved having a couple parents helping with the party. But when you get all the kids AND their parents it is very hard to keep control on the party. Parents are visiting with each other. It is hard for a teacher to have to tell parents to be quiet and please be useful.

Parents are trying to parent their kids as if they are at home and not in a professional/educational setting. "Johnny, eat the apples before you drink your punch?" Then there is a parent/child fight going on in the corner. Believe me. When I had a limited number of parents in the room for parties, those parties were less chaotic.

Please...respect the wishes of the school. This is their way to keep it a professional environment and not just a "Party Place" for an hour, 4 times a year. It is good for kids to have their time away from parents at school.

I am like you...my parents never set foot on campus unless it was an invited occasion, I was sick or in deep trouble. There is a reason we never saw our parents on campus when we were kids. They allowed us to have our time and space and they treated the school like the professional place it is supposed to be.

First off I have never ever had a school where any type of birthday thing was done other than a kid passing out a treat at the end of the school day.

Other than private schools most schools don't allow homebaked goods of any kind to be in the classroom. there are just too many allergies these days.

Teachers jobs are to teach not to supervise a lot of parents. And while it is only 4 times a year it is still the school day. the schools have concerts and sporting events for parents to attend. a 1 hour party is not something to get all worked up about. if you want to be there then sign up as a room mother.

Having these things and parents being invited is too hard for the schools to supervise. You never know when one of the parents might be a pedophile or abuser. you don't know who might be bringing in a drug and or a gun. its just not worth the extra stress. and yes those are extreme scenarios but these days they are more then norm than they used to be.

I don't remember my parents being at the school during the school year except the christmas pagent, parent teacher conferences and to pick us up if we were sick. I think kids would be a whole lot less needy if parents let them go to school and learn and quit using it as a social event. sorry off my soap box now.

There is not room for a bunch of parents to attend, The classrooms in an older school, were not made for all of the supplies and bells and whistles each classroom now has, Then all of the back packs?

A bunch of parents there at the party doing what? Standing around?

I only went if they needed help.. They had homeroom parents and the parents that volunteered to help are the ones that were there. If someone needed to back out, they would call another parent to take their place.

I thought open house was for parents to get to know the teacher. Parties in classrooms are for kids and teachers only. The aides help with the setting up and taking down. Parents are nice but they do get in the way and change the atmosphere in the classroom. Let your kids be kids and you guys be parents on the outside of the classroom.

There is a time for you parents to get a break away from your kids and this is it.

If and when my kids had something that they really wanted me to attend, they would let me know in advance and I would get confirmation from the school. Otherwise, I did not go to school for everything they did.

As one parent posted, her child didn't want her to be there anymore. He wanted it to be his "special" place.

So respect what has been put into place as a parent did not and caused the issue. Policy changes are results of someone doing something wrong or in different at the wrong time and the rest of us suffer the effects.

Have a special day at home and celebrate the season.

the other S.

PS Life is too short to be in this much mess so early. I agree with get a life of your own and stop living through your children.

When my kids were in school we parents weren't allowed to attend the parties unless we were room parents. With school security in the spotlight lately I can see why they'd want to limit the amount of people in the classrooms. I wouldn't be upset.

i made it to a good few, when it was open to parents. not all were.
i don't think it's a problem at all to have classroom-only parties. if parents want to be all up in every aspect of their kids' school experiences, they can homeschool.
i totally don't get being butthurt about this.
khairete
S.

I never attended the kids parties at school. I always felt like that was time for them to be with their friends and didn't need me standing around watching them. JMO.

I only have one left in elementary school. This is his last year.

I will attend the Christmas party and the end of year party. We do NOT have Halloween or Valentine's parties here in our school. They might do things in the classroom - but our kids are NOT encouraged to dress up on Halloween - they don't want the kids distracted apparently. No biggie to me.

I am typically a room parent - not this year though - and am heading the parties or on the team of parents that puts the parties together.

It creates a lot of problems when every parent attends a party. We have a Thanksgiving luncheon...635 kids and most of the parents show up...they FINALLY learned to do it in shifts...but it's a madhouse...and parking sucks...

If they asked me to go for the sing-a-long and leave? I would respect that...

My school district sends out a paper at the beginning of the year looking for volunteers for 1 room parent, and there are three parties, Halloween, Christmas, and Valentines. The parents can then chose which they would like to volunteer for. They can only attend one and the names are pulled once all papers are turned in. This gives those who want a chance to attend and there are only 4 parents per room. The only thing that all parents are able to attend is the Halloween parade and then they must leave from there with the exception of those helping with the parties.

I understand that some parents want to be there for everything their child does but you can't.

My oldest is in the middle school now so no more parties with him. I was able to volunteer every year and to be honest I did not get picked to do one every year. This is the best way IMO that things can be fair.

I attended because I was a home room parent. If you were not a home room parent then you were not allowed to attend.

The number of parent volunteers at parties is limited to 3-4.
Lottery system.

In kindergarten, the teacher had more of an open-door policy. But kids grow up, and I suppose they expect us parents to let go a bit, too. The classrooms are smaller and from my observations kids around their parents are generally harder to manage than when just a couple of 'room parents' are passing out games and treats. I don't mind getting the boot-- there are plenty of other ways to volunteer that are far more helpful to the teacher, and then I get to see the kids in a more calm atmosphere, enjoy connecting with them and helping them learn. My son is in first grade and I do have a lot of empathy for the teachers-- they have a lot to teach without 24+ birthday parties (which distract from learning and create a very excited little classroom) to figure out, plus who's allergic to which foods. Our school has a Healthy Kids policy, so kids get a birthday crown, a pencil and are sung Happy Birthday-- five minutes of glory-- and then they move on.

I figure that if it's important to me to be at those sorts of parties, I can always host my own! :)

What you described, is NOT unusual. At all.
They do the same at my kids' elementary school.
If each and every classroom of every grade through 5th grade, "allowed" parents to hangout and go to each child's classroom party, it would be just way to crowded etc. and there would be security problems etc.
At my kids' school, EVERY person who comes on campus, who is not "staff" MUST check in at the office and get a "visitors" badge. MANY parents, do not do this. For example.

At my kids' school, parents can and do attend parties, until a designated time. The party, is for the children. The food too. And the activities too.
The Room Mom and the "volunteer" cleaner-uppers of the party, can be there but as helpers, not as an audience. And it is never a problem.

I have 2 kids. One is in middle school now.
My youngest is in 2nd grade.
Usually, if anything... what I do is, I go quickly to my kid's class/party... say hi quickly to the Teacher, take photos, then leave. My "goal" being... to take photos, of my kid and his friends. But I do it quickly and stealth like. So that it does NOT interfere in anything.

Elementary schools, typically do do what you are describing.
It is not like Preschool, where parents are generally "allowed" to come to every party.

Unless it involves me (a Mother's Day event) or I have a specific invite (an award, a concert, a barbecue), I don't go.

I volunteered to help with a couple of the parties when they were in kindergarten, but that was the only year the teachers asked for volunteers. Parents are not invited to classroom parties, but we are invited for various assemblies in the gym, such as the Halloween costume parade. I have no desire to attend classroom parties. My kids are busy with their friends, and my presence would just make the room more crowded. For birthdays the kids are allowed to bring a special treat to share, but the parent doesn't attend for that. The treat is handed out at recess. We do have an end of year picnic, and it is held after school and it is for students and families. We also have a Halloween Howl evening event for families to attend, and the Christmas concert and a few other family fun nights throughout the year. We have no shortage activities for parents to attend.

I always attended all of my boys school parties, and most of the time I was one of the few moms that brought food and helped the teacher. It was such a fun time, I cannot imagine why the schools change things like that.

Ever since the shooting at Sandy Hook, the security measures at most schools have been completely overhauled.

At our school, only parents who sign up, in advance, can come in to the school during school hours. And even on party days, there is a maximum of 4 parent allowed per classroom (and we don't have any kind of sing-along, so if you are not one of those 4 parents, you cannot come in the school). We have a lottery to decide which 4 parents get to come.

As for food, we can send something in but it has to be a healthy snack - no cupcakes or cookies or candy, and it has to be something the teacher can easily hand out, because the parents do not attend.

I would imagine things have gotten out of hand. Say 20 kids and then at least one parent each equals chaos. That is why there are room mothers. They set up and help at the party.

In kindergarten we were always invited to everything and never missed one. After that, we only go when invited. If they send a note and we are invited, I absolutely go. Otherwise, no. It's for the kids and the class. Parents go if they are invited, and if not, they don't go. No big deal.

The only time I attend the parties is if I volunteered to run or help run the party and I think it is the same with all the parents at the schools we have attended. We are there only to run a game or serve food or clean up, not to "enjoy" the party or even watch our kids enjoy the party- just there to make the party happen.

FWIW I would prefer if there were no more birthday treats, is that not the meanest of me?! The kids come home 30 times a year with treats from a birthday, add in treats on all the holidays, the bus driver gives out treats on Friday, plus the PTA gives out all sorts of treats for incentives...they are getting some sort of treat almost every day.

Yes, the parties are very chaotic and crowded, so I decided not to go to my kids' holiday parties this year (they are all in elem. school). I used to get excited about the parties and go to all of them, but I'm over them already! I don't need to see how much sugar my kids can consume in a chaotic, crowded classroom! Ironic that you sent an email requesting to go! I hope it works out for you.

My son's school allows only a limited # of parents to come, and they are there to help, not to just be bystanders. At the beginning of each school year the Room Moms circulate a sign-up list for Party Parents, and they commit to come to each of the parties and help with the set up, activity, photography, clean up, etc.

I haven't been to any of my son's parties yet (he's in 1st grade), as I would have to get a babysitter for my other kids. Next year I will be signing up to do it.

I love attending class parties! I would be sad too if I was banned. But if that's the policy, then that's the policy. It just takes 1 fool parent concerned about their child being exposed to other parents and then lo and behold - a new policy is born keeping all parents aways from all the kids.

Most of the parents at my son's school helps, even if they didn't sign up to, so its not just "standing around". And its a great way to interact with the teacher, and get to know both my child's classmates and their parents. We all believe a safer environment for our kids comes by a sense of community and connection with one another.

There's always the bozos who come and stay with their child only and just help their child do the activities. The way I see it, it's their loss.

Wow, I do attend if I am invited and my work schedule allows. I think that kids need to see that their parents are engaged with what they are doing and that they care. I think that banning parents from being involved is the wrong way to go. It sounds like there may have been a couple of isolated incidents and now the administration is punishing everyone rather than having a difficult conversation with the offenders...

In kinder, all parents were invited to attend the Thanksgiving show and feast. Only parents volunteering came to the xmas party though. The end of the year was kind of a combo of volunteers and a few parents who came just for the fun of being there. This year in first grade, I think the parties are all not for parents, other than those volunteering.

I like to be there to see all the fun. Plus, my son has food allergies and usually needs separate treats, so it's helpful if I'm there to make sure his needs are met. So I have always volunteered for the parties.

Was there a discussion on why the policy was being changed to not allow parents to attend class parties? Perhaps there were some very good reasons- school security, fire code violations for overcrowding, chaotic (your words) classrooms, parents wanting to leave with their children at the end of the party when it is not the end of the day. It has been awhile since my kids were in school, but I have volunteered at the district level. Our schools allow for only 2 or 3 parties a year depending on grade. Also for many years, kids were not allowed to bring birthday food treats in to share--think food allergies, food contamination, restrictions on what can be served on school lunch plan, unhealthy foods that some parents would be unhappy to have their children given. In elementary school, the kids were allowed to bring pencils, bookmarks, or stickers to give out for their birthdays, provided there was enough for each child in the class. If you want to spend time in the classroom with your child and the other students, ask the teacher what you can do to help at other times.

No way! One hour long four times a year? That is a lot and it'd be times 5 for us. Actually I could not even be in all those places at once.

The kids enjoy them though.

I have always been the room mom "hosting" the class parties for the Holidays and End of Year, for one of my kids (whichever room needed me).

At our public school you have to have completed a background check through the district...not always but sometimes involving fingerprinting to be allowed to volunteer with the kids. (Mine were already on file from when I worked for the district years ago).

As long as you have a background check and are cleared you can attend the class parties. So, yes I attend and help coordinate the other parents who are coming...it is a ton of fun!

I see it from both sides.

As a teacher, if parents are there to observe my fairness at an event, then no, stay home.

As a mama, these precious years go by so fast that I'd love to come if I could.

Happy medium? Have parents sign up for which ONE party they'd like to attend. Have equal space for each party so that you don't get 20 at the Christmas Party and none at the other parties.

This past Halloween party, the teacher sent an evite that listed options for donations: food, plates, help the kids get into costumes, or come and run an event during the party. That way, the parents who came had a job to do. I think that worked well.

My oldest is in kindergarten. I went to his Halloween party, I was scheduled to go to the Thanksgiving Feast, but he was sick with the tummy flu the day before so we had to skip it. I plan on joining in for Christmas and other parties. Working full time this is the involvement I can do.

When I was in school, it was the room moms that got to do the partys and field trips, not every parent.

Food policy is the same, no food allowed. Non-food items are fine for the parties. I am good with this because my son alone has so many different challenges with food sensitivities-Gluten, Chocolate and the Dyes.

our school doesn't have classroom parties. the kids are allowed to bring in a birthday treat, but it's not a big party, they just eat it at snack time. they don't do any of the holiday events either. The events they do have are called "culminating events" it's when the class finishes a big lesson project, they invite all the parents in and the kids showcase their work and what they've learned.

Our school only has 2 parties per year, Christmas/holiday and valentines, and they prefer that only he room mom attends. Of course, they don't turn people away. A few years ago they decided to stop allowing parents from bringing siblings along, which made me sad. My youngest attended every peaty from his brother until 5th grade. :-( He went to school himself when his brother was in 6th grade so now we're back in the party whirlwind.

Also-parents are not allowed to bring food. All food is provided by the PTO.

Schools have a fine line to walk between keeping the kids safe and keeping the parents happy. Sometimes the parents won't be happy.

My children attend a public elementary school and have two classroom parties a year - Halloween & Valentine's Day. Each classroom has two "room parents" which are the only two parents allowed to attend the parties, with the exception of kindergarten - more parents can attend these but must sign up to attend. I have volunteered to be a room parent every year and enjoy attending these parties. I'm a bit shocked by so many other posters commenting that you need to get a life and that these parties are no place for parents. I volunteer because I want to help out my children's teachers and their school. When I attend their parties, it's because I planned it and I run it. Having a room parent allows the teacher to sit back and enjoy the party which they very much deserve. Good for you for wanting to take an active role in your child's education and be a part of these festivities. No, I don't think that all parents should be able to attend these parties because there just isn't enough room and chaos would ensue, but after reading most of the comments on here, it doesn't seem that would ever be the problem. I know I'm always amazed each year that I'm a room parent, very few other parents donate money to help pay for the parties which means that I pay for the entire party out of my own pocket. If your school doesn't have room parents then your teacher is paying for the party out of his/her own pocket. I don't think parents realize this.

I can guarantee if my child is in that building no one better get in my way if "I" want to go to his or her classroom. Tell the principle they can't legally tell a parent they cannot keep you from your child. This policy is wrong.