Do We Have a 2Nd Birthday Party?

Updated on November 25, 2007
M.K. asks from Lombard, IL
12 answers

When I was growing up my I had birthday parties until I was 5. Then I had"girl" parties. The parties before 5 were family. Not just grandma and grandpa and siblings, but also aunts, uncles, first and second cousins.
My first cousins have parties for their kids but my husbands cousins don't.
I would like to have a party for my son and invite my cousins along with my husbands cousins. They all have kids and it's great to see them together because they are all around the same age.
My husband is fine with the party, but he says that since his cousins don't have parties (only the 1st birthday) we should say on the invitation no gifts.
I don't ever expect anyone to buy my son gifts.
I was just wondering if I should even bother having a party for him? Would it make his side feel weird because they don't have parties?
Just wanted to see what the other mamas thought.
Thanks!

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So What Happened?

We are going to have the party. You only turn 2 once. And this is the time to celebrate!

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H.M.

answers from Chicago on

We have a party for every birthday so does my in laws until they are 18. So I don't know what to say other than good luck. My side of the family has Birthday parties all the time even though we are all adults.

1 mom found this helpful

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K.B.

answers from Chicago on

a few thoughts: 1) even though you may not expect people to bring gifts, people will unless the invite says not to (and then some people still bring gifts because they feel rude going empty-handed). So adding a "no gifts please" to the invite will definitely make your husband feel more comfortable, and may make his family feel better too. 2) The question about whether to have a party or not is not about how extended family might feel. It's about your child and what you want to do for him. It sounds like you'd like to continue your childhood tradition -- is your husband happy with it as long as people don't have to bring gifts? Because there are plenty of ways to celebrate and bring family together without making it about the kids. Especially at such a young age, the children don't have lots of friends and desires to celebrate a certain way, so it is about family and friends. Have a big BBQ with family games and fun, but then the dessert is birthday cake.

2 moms found this helpful
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J.K.

answers from Chicago on

We have had birthday parties for the family for my two older kids for all their birthdays, and will for my 7 month old too. My cousins, on the other hand do not have birthday parties for their kids, except for their first. I always invite my cousins to the birthday parties. If they don't want to come, or bring gifts, they don't have to, but they always do. On the other hand, although they don't have parties, I do always buy their kids gifts for their birthdays. I think you should do what you want to do for your family, and let the cousins figure out what they want to do for themselves. You don't have to say no gifts, because that's up to them as well. Just be as gracious as possible if they do come and give gifts.

Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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C.U.

answers from Chicago on

It sounds like you want a party for your child....so have one and invite them. If they don't come they don't. No hard feelings.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.K.

answers from Chicago on

I have never heard of people not having parties after 1st birthday. It is a child and they should have a party. Invite all your family and you shouldn't have to put no gifts on the invite. We are having a party for my son who turns Two in August and I just sent out the invites and if someone doesn't bring a gift-they just don't. I don't keep track of the nongift people at my son's party.HAVE THE PARTY AND HAVE A GOOD TIME!! It is your child and you can make your own memories-starting with parties for every year of their life.!!!

1 mom found this helpful
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J.S.

answers from Chicago on

Both our families -- mine and my ILs have family parties for the little kids. For the older kids, the parents leave it up to the kid. So, the kid can choose to have an all-friend party, a family dinner or both. Usually the teenagers want a friend party without their totally embarrassing family around, but then also want to get together with the family at some point. The little kids just want everyone around -- their friends and their family. As for gifts, my family has a pretty standard no gift policy so it is not unusual to have the whole family over and not have any gifts except from grandma and grandpa. Others will give gift cards for "milestone" birthdays. My ILs, however, are big gifters. No matter what you put on the invitation they will bring gifts. I always give gifts, too, just because I enjoy giving gifts. I think it's pretty easy to find a great but inexpensive gift for a 2 year old so I would say invite everyone you want and let them decide for themselves. Like another poster said, if they find it too much of a hardship to buy a gift for a 2 year old, they probably will decline the invite. I would bet, though, that they will be happy to be included.

1 mom found this helpful
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E.W.

answers from Chicago on

Sounds a lot like my family and my husband's family! I would just go ahead and do what you want. If they will feel uncomfortable at the party, chances are they will not come, I would think. If you and your hubby want to do something special for your baby, do it! They only turn 2 once!
E.

1 mom found this helpful
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Z.

answers from Chicago on

To heck with the cousins! This is you and your child's celebration (even though the liklihood of your son remembering it is slim). Invite the family, of course. It's their choice to celebrate with you or at least come up with some lame excuse for why they can't attend if, indeed, the idea of showing up to a 2 year old's party with a gift is just beyond them. Children birthday parties are about cake and gifts and singing happy birthday, and blowing out candles. If your child was nearing 20, then it may be appropriate to do a "no gift" celebration, but 2? Besides, it's kinda fun watching them rip up all the wrapping paper. Just my thoughts...

1 mom found this helpful
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A.L.

answers from Chicago on

I say have the party. In the end, family is what matters and making the most of our memories/time here.
As far as gifts, you could go the "no gifts please" route, but if you are supplying food and drinks and cake, plus party favors for the kids, it is appropriate that they bring something to celebrate your child's birth.
Have a great party!

1 mom found this helpful
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H.M.

answers from Chicago on

Hello!
I believe a kid should have a party, why not? You only live once!! I also think gifts are always a plus...I mean, it's a kid, and they like toys...
If people don't want to attend or bring a gift then that is up to them, but you can start your own traditions and people will respond to that one way or another...that is not your problem. Have fun and do what is in YOUR heart to do.

1 mom found this helpful
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C.B.

answers from Chicago on

Have the party. This is the best time for parties for kids beecause they finally are getting what it is all about. The fisrts are always nice but they don't really understand. Those second and third birthdays (and other holidays as well) are a lot of fun. We always have a family party for the boys and as they got older(Boys are 8,7,6 and 2 weeks) we let them have a big class party every other year with a small party( a couple of kids sleep over or go to the movies) the other times. I wouldn't put anything about no gifts on the invite. I can not think of anyone who would think of going to a childs party with out somekind of gift. If they are not comfortable with coming they won't. If they do come make sure that you send them a thank you note(perhaps a picture with it) to show your appreciation.

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W.P.

answers from Chicago on

It is interesting to see how in different groups things are different and it can intimidate you. I had a friend of my kid's dad tell me birthday parties were no longer appropriate at 13 (in a derisive tone). I was like, well all of his other friends are still having parties and he wants one. ( I refrained from uninviting his child or telling him to mind his own biz!)So to this guy it wasn't macho enough for a 13 year old boy to have a party-but of course the parties are all about shooting in lazer tag or paint ball! GO FIGURE!

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