Do Most of You Celebrate Your Own Birthday?

Updated on July 12, 2012
K.H. asks from Merrimack, NH
30 answers

I am curious - what do most of you do for your birthday? Do you rely on others to do something for you or make plans yourself? Or is it not that big of a deal and you don't do anything? I definitely don't think my birthday should be a huge deal, but I would love to have hubby and the kids at least sing "happy birthday" to me each year. Unfortunately, my hubby tends to do absolutely nothing and I feel a bit bummed each year. So what it the norm for everyone else?

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So What Happened?

Thanks for all the responses! I did have a discussion with my husband and told him next year I would like him and my daughters to sing happy birthday to me. I'm pretty sure we have had this discussion every year, but next year maybe I will make my own cake so he wont forget. Lol!

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R.K.

answers from Appleton on

My birthday is also Christmas Eve and can get lost in the Christmas craziness. I always celebrate though. I invite the kids over if possible for a nice dinner but luch is fine.

I don't celebrate Christmas I celebrate Yule, December 21, since I am Wiccan.

But I believe everyone should celebrate their birthday --- it's the only day in the year that you get to celebrate you.

1 mom found this helpful

K.M.

answers from Chicago on

I wear a tiara all day, I have since I was young and plan to do so until the day I croak! My older sister does the same too. If I want to do something I plan it, otherwise it will not be what I want! I have always seen it that way and always will.

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A.W.

answers from Chicago on

My birthday is Christmas Eve so it tends to get lost in all of the Christmas stuff. My husband and daughter usually make me a cake and sing happy birthday but that's about it. I usually spend my birthday getting ready for Christmas and then we go to my parents house for the family Christmas dinner (sometimes they do a cake- if they remember but most years my family forgets its my birthday).

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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

don't give everybody the power to control your mood & responses.

don't wait for everybody to read your mind.

decide what you want...share your thoughts & hopefully they'll jump on board. This does not make you a control freak, it does not make you a micro-manager. This means that your DH has dropped the ball in the past, & you're tired of it! Put an end to it....& open up/share your thoughts/needs! :)

I will be turning 50 in a few months. My Mom is turning 70 right after that. We LOVE road trips, & that's what I'm doing for my BD. We are taking the 2 16yos in our family (my son & his 1st cousin) out West! Going to visit my older niece & her new home in New Mexico...& then we're heading to the 4 Corners, Colorado, TX, & OK. 9 days of being on the Road! Can't wait.

When 2012 rolled around, I told my family I did NOT want a party. I did not want to spend any $$ on feeding other people. I wanted all of the budget spent on ME! This made my DH & sons very happy.....& it made my Mom & me even happier! Countdown....6 more days & Hello, Road!

Conversely, when my DH turned 50, I asked him what he wanted for his BD. His response was, "If I can't have a Harley, then I want my friends & family". & that's what we did....a huge BD party with everybody invited. It was a BLAST.....& totally something I do not want for myself.

Sooo, find a way to discuss this with your family....& go for broke. Why be unhappy any longer? :)

EDIT: Whooops! Forgot the rest of the story....my older son & I share BDs. My DH's BD is 2 weeks prior. We celebrate all 3 together. When our son was a child, the focus was on him. Now the focus is on the most important # out of the 3 of us. & it works.... This year we are 25, 50, & 58.

4 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

K.:

Growing up birthday's were a HUGE deal in my family. HUGE!!! you were king or queen for the day!! It wasn't about getting a ton of presents - it was about celebrating YOU!!!

My husband was raised where really? his mother's birthday was "important". The kids got cake and ice cream and a present.

I have stated my expectations to my husband. Over the years he's gotten better. Birthday's don't mean much to him. But they do to me. Tell your husband your expectations.

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L.F.

answers from Chicago on

I normally don't like to make a big fuss about my birthday. But I just turned 40 last week. I'm done having kids, I got back into a fitness routine, and I lost (most of) my mummy tummy. I wanted to really treat myself this year.

I took a solo trip to So Cal a month ago to visit some of my old friends. My b-day gift to myself. My husband's contribution to that was to watch our three kids while I was away. And for my actual birthday, I told my husband exactly what I wanted: to sleep in, go shopping for several hours by myself, and to come home to a Chinese take-out dinner. I got everything I wanted! And my husband and kids sang happy birthday to me all day. My kids drew cute pictures for me too.

After being constantly disappointed in the past, I finally wised up and realized that my husband really can't read my mind. Even for my first birthday as a married couple, I sent my husband to the mall with store names, item numbers, and prices of the things I wanted him to buy me. (Something he begged me to do.) He still didn't come home with all of the right things, because some of the items were sold out. So now I just go shopping and buy the things I want. And I am better at doing it because I get them on sale and use coupons!

Now if I could just get my husband to take photos of me and the kids without always having to ask him to....

I think you should tell your husband that you would really like it if he and the kids would sing happy birthday to you at least once. And buy you a cake. And maybe some flowers :-)

3 moms found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I don't really care so much, but my sister, aunt and BFF always do/plan something. Usually it's a dinner or lunch out out and a movie, and gifts of course! I make the same effort with them.
Most men just don't get into this stuff, which is why the women in our lives are SO important!!! Nurture those relationships. Your kids will grow up and leave, and your hubby will be happy doing his thing (whatever that may be.) Your girls are the ones you can truly count on in the end, don't take them for granted. Spend time together, celebrating and having fun, as only women know how to do :)

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

Heck yes, we all celebrate my Birthday! We have known each other since we were 13, so he has always remembered the date. n

My birthday is in a couple of weeks and he has already asked what do I want as a gift and where should we go for dinner, or do I want him to pick it all out?

We also make sure he is fawned over for his birthday too,,

If your husband is not good at planning and celebrating, teach your children, your birthday and what they should do for you..

Our daughter is great about reminding him about mine and she has great ideas for gifts and places to eat at. ..

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

My husband and I are eight years apart, and our birth days seven days apart.

Because of this seven days situation, and because we share our friendships, we have a Tandem Birthday Soiree-- we've been doing it for ten years now. Meet at a favorite pub with friends, chat, hang out---they know they don't need to bring a gift-- a funny card will suffice, and we pass those around. It's great because now all of our guests know each other and catch up on the interesting things other people are doing once a year.

On each of our birthdays, Joe and I make sure that the other has a pleasant day. Maybe we get a treat, or make a nice meal or go out-- but that's the day gifts are given. We love birthdays and each other.

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G.H.

answers from Chicago on

You must have recently had a birthday or it's coming up?! So Happy Birthday to you whenever it is.

Well mine is monday & it will be another day. Here's how it will go:
DH: Hey it's your birthday
me: yup
DH: you want to go out to dinner so you don't have a mess to clean
me: sure
DH: Kids, where do you want to go to dinner for moms birthday

I have a group of friends that I count on for some fun. We all go out for each others birthdays and everyone chips in for birthday girls dinner & a gift. Now that's what I am looking forward to!!!

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K.L.

answers from Des Moines on

We just go out to dinner...my choice of course! That's about it.

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S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

I make my own plans which usually consist of dinner out, because I don't want to cook or clean up on my birthday. My husband usually remembers to go out and get my favourite cake. I normally tell him exactly what I would like for a gift, and he takes the kids out shopping for it.

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❤.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

It's the one day a year you can and should have what you want to eat and not to have to do any chores. :)

I have never relied on anyone to "make" my birthday happy or special.
I like to treat myself. Why? Because why not? Why not get myself my favorite take-out, my favorite flowers from the grocery store etc. It's always a nice, fun day.

Having said that, I have great friends that spoil me.

I say make plans for yourself. Whether that's meeting up with friends or picking up your favorite foods.

Tell your hubby what you want (they are bad mind-readers). Example: Honey for my birthday, I would like to sleep in, have eggs & sausage and maybe a day at the beach etc. Or "honey, I would love a mocha, some carnations from the grocery store & a silver charm for my bracelet". Or
"Can you take me to that cute diner we met at for dinner on my birthday?" etc.

Make it fun, make it special and make it stand out. It's the one and only day a year that you can call your own. And it's okay to do that. So do it!
Happy birthday :)

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J.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

I love my birthday! I'm so lucky to have amazing friends who have gone all out the last couple of years (last year I was 35, and this year was my first since the husband moved out). My kids' dad makes sure that the kids make me a card and either make or help pick out a present (I do the same for his birthday), and they're little enough that it's as special for them as it is for me.

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L.H.

answers from San Diego on

For the longest time I didn't celebrate my birthday much. I kinda went under ground, in a bit of a mood, etc.

When I turned 35, I felt the need to celebrate not only my life, but I wanted to celebrate all the amazing people who have helped me along the way. I got friends together on various nights to celebrate our relationship as it is on that particular day.

Now I get darn right sentimental about my birthday - because my birth is not just about me, but all the people who mean so much to me. For me its a yearly snap shot, and with that, I reach out and use it as an excuse to celebrate family and friends.

Don't wait for others! Its YOUR day. Be the driver of the day.

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T.F.

answers from Dallas on

It's not a big deal to me and I don't get into the extra attention.

My daughter does make a cake and they sing HB to me, which is nice and appreciated but in reality... It's another day.

As for getting gifts, etc... We do that during the year when we need or want something.

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J.F.

answers from Boston on

I never plan a party for myself, but after many MANY years of terrible birthdays where everyone around me insisted on doing what THEY wanted, if they acknowledged me at all, I finally started making my own arrangements for my own private celebration. I would get a babysitter-because something ALWAYS came up when the husband or family was supposed to watch the kids, and I made my own reservations for a massage at a spa (which is my favorite thing in the world, but i NEVER did the rest of the year) Whenever someone tried to get involved to "help" or give alternate suggestions, I said politely, but firmly, "no, thank you, my birthdays have never worked out in the past because everyone else always makes the day about THEM, and I would REALLY like to do what I want this year, but thanks for the suggestion." Some people were taken aback,it it was what needed to happen. It took my husband a long time to understand what it was like to have no one care about your birthday, until he had a TERRIBLE experience one year, was complaining about it, and I pointed out that that had been my experience for YEARS. It really opened his eyes and he has been WONDERFUL ever since....and once I started taking care of myself-other people noticed and started being more thoughtful. Go figure :-)

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K.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

On a normal year, we just get together for dinner with my dad and stepmom because her birthday is close to mine. We normally don't do anything else. When I married my DH I knew he was not a big present person so it RARE that he would ever get me a card or gift. Fine by me. Although this year he totally shocked me when he bought me a watch because he heard me mention I needed one.

However, this year I decided to get together with some girlfriends the night before my birthday in order to celebrate. We went out for dinner and a movie (Magic Mike). It was very fun!!!!

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B..

answers from Dallas on

Eh...I'm not a big birthday person. (For myself.) Sometimes, we might eat a dinner I really like. Mostly, I forget it's my own birthday, until someone reminds me!!

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J.M.

answers from Missoula on

I make sure I pick out my favorite foods to make (unless hubby lets me know he has made plans for otherwise...) That's about it. lol.

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C.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

Riley has the right idea. I would put a cake on the table and light it up. My family would sing to me. They may laugh at me, but they would sing.

C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

My husband and I have birthdays that are a week apart. We always plan something. Even if my birthday was a totally different time of the year I would plan something. Usually we invite over a few of our best friends and cook an amazing meal...make margaritas...something like that. Cake for dessert of course. Some years we have invited over all friends for a big dinner party. Some years on my actual birthday day I do something I have always wanted to do...once it was a day kayaking trip. Once it was going to a spa with a girlfriend. Once it was hiking a very tall mountain with a friend. Last year my husband and I both turned 40 and we did something we have never done before - his parents watched our kids and we went to Mexico for a week! Wow - it was so amazing. I wish we could do something like that every year. You should definitely plan something for yourself - a dinner party with your best friends coming over? Treat yourself to lunch out with a girlfriend or do something you always have wanted to do. Get your hubby to watch the kids while you go and do it!

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F.B.

answers from New York on

My birthday is a big deal to me. We celebrate it early and often. :)

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H.P.

answers from Houston on

My birthday is a holiday! I spend the rest of the year caring about and tending to others. I spend this day--or season, actually--focusing on my own feel-good. What I do with it depends on how I'm feeling. Sometimes I spear-head the celebration; sometimes my husband does it, at my direction.

C.P.

answers from Columbia on

In our family, we ask one another what they would like to do, so that way nobody is disappointed.

Usually, it's a family dinner at home, followed by goodies and gifts.

A.C.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I make my own plans. I know this is the best way to get what I want! Sometimes I plan a girls day out or I will host a low-key BBQ/party at our house with our closest friends. This year I planned a girls only trip as my party/gift. I will pick out the foods and cake I like and usually will make them myself since I tend do do most of the cooking anyway, and I enjoy it. My husband is great at taking direction, though. If I tell him what I want, (gift, food or activity) then he will take care of it.

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J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

I take the day off work. And then I go do something. Since my kids are in school my husband has taken the day off and we get to hang out on a weekday and do stuff. On year I decided to go out to lunch and then I wanted a ring at Tiffanys so we went and got it. Then I got to pick up my daughters from school (which I never get to do). This year we went to lunch and a movie. American Reunion. Hey I grew up watching that stuff. I want to have a special day but it doesn't have to be a big deal. Just not work!

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

I plan out EXACTLY what I want to do each year :) :) :) And spend the whole day doing it. It changes every year.

This year (i sculpt cakes for fun) I didn't want to bake/decorate... So kiddo and I made an 'American Croque em bouchée' LOL meaning I picked up donuts and made a pyramid. :D There is ALWAYS "cake", and candles, and singing.

Trust me... Light a cake on fire and people will sing. It's pavlovian. Happens sometimes with flambé desserts in restaurants that AREN'T for birthdays. Huh. Come to think of it, setting our desserts on fire is kind of odd. But I digress.

I usually help my son with my birthday present. He comes up with a lot of ideas, and I help him keep them realistic (Yes, Disneyland /Jamaica/a helicopter, etc WOULD be awesome, but no, not this year, love). He has VERY strong ideas on what he wants to give me. The world OR something I will use every day. Makeup was his go to gift from 3-7 (he'd watch me put it on every day). One year he got everyone alarm clocks in various styles (BobaFett for one of his besties, iPhone compat for me, travel style for his godmother, etc.) This year he got me my favorite cookbook.

I usually drive him to x, then help him find what he's looking for, then hand him my card and let him buy it/carry it/wrap it. Now, though, all of his presents come out if his own money (allowance).

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J.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

Generally - no. I don't... but this year I'm turning 40 and I've informed my husband that he can't skip me this year... I expect some kind of celebration... :)

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L.E.

answers from Provo on

I was in a class at a university not long ago and the teacher mentioned that he treats himself to a day of skiing every year for his birthday. I asked the students around me what they were getting themselves for their birthdays. I got answers like, "I live with my parents, so I get whatever they give me for my birthday." It was 2 months before my birthday and I already knew what I was giving myself. I think it must be an age thing because I have not always given myself a birthday gift. But I like it now. It doesn't matter to me anymore if all I get from my family is a verbal birthday wish because I know I am getting something I want from myself. This last birthday I also requested that my children go to bed with no messing around and they took that seriously. It was really sweet.

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