Divorce - Perris,CA

Updated on November 07, 2010
C.L. asks from Moreno Valley, CA
7 answers

I am going thru a divorce. If anybody out there living in California, would give me some legal advice. I do have an attorney and am getting ready to serve my husband. Here 'are' my concerns. I have an suv that my husband bought me but it's in his name. He also has a car and a truck. The truck is an old truck that only seats 2 people. My suv that he bought me because we gave my daughter my car when she graduated from high school is in my husband's name. He went and bought it, called at work and told me he had bought it for me. Now he says the suv is his and not mine. We have been married for 6 yrs. We have 2 yr old twins together thru IVF. i don't work because that was the agreement before doing IVF. The house is his so i will be moving out in about 6-8 months, i suppose. The house is in my husbands name and he bought it before we married. I also have a 17 yo who will graduate from high school next year. i asked my attorney to ask the court about letting stay in the house until at least my son graduates and i can get settles somewhere else. I also need my suv and want my husband to put it in my name. A few days ago he had a tow truck come to the house and was trying to tow my suv. i called the cops, he finally told the tow truck to leave but cops came and my husband left for the day and came back the next day. I don't like it when he argues and yells infront of our little kids and he has called me the 'B' and 'F' words infront of the kids. Our kids get upset and scream or cry and i did tell that to my atty. There is a Domestic Violence Report on my husband from this past March. He is going thru anger mgmt but says it is not hlep him and that no amount of counseling will ever change how he is. I don't want him to have the kids 50/50 because he doesn't have patience with them. What kind of a case do i hve? Any one ?

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L.D.

answers from Las Vegas on

Ask your attorney about the community property monies that were used to pay the mortgage payment on your husband's house during the course of your marriage. Also, the issue about the SUV being a gift can be a he said/she said issue unless you can come up with some proof that your husband intend to give you the car as a gift. Talk to your attorney about this but, if you can locate any e-mails, voicemail messages, notes from him indicating that he intend the purchase of the car to be a gift for you, that would help. Otherwise, since it was purchased during the marriage using community property funds, then it would probably have to be split 50/50, including the debt on it. But talk to your attorney about all this since he should be in the know about current California divorce law.

I would also recommend that you brush up on California divorce law on your own so that you can be a smart self-advocate. There's a book called How to Solve Divorce Problems in California: How to Handle a Contested Divorce - In and Out of Court by Ed Sherman. You can purchase it for $23.07 on Amazon.com. It's good that you have an attorney but if you invest the $23 into the purchase of this book and read it, it may end up saving you a ton of legal fees in the long run (those phone calls to your attorney for answers can really add up).

I am sorry that you are having to go through this now but, hopefully, you can put this all behind you soon enough. Blessings.

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M.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

First of all, I am so sorry you are going through this! My heart goes out to you. I have been through divorce twice (not with kids however) but I can tell you that CA is a no fault, 50/50 state. Just because the SUV is in his name, he bought it when you were married and it is joint property. Also, if there is a domestic violence report on record, you can get a restraining order from the court to keep him from coming within 'X' number of yards from you and your kids. I would get on that ASAP. Check out www.legalzoom.com or Google "restraining order, los angeles, ca" and see what comes up. As for how much time he gets with the kids, you can also argue that he has a violent personality and they are not safe with him. You can push for 100% custody and give him visitation ONLY if it is supervised.
If you have an attorney you need to discuss all of this with them. Did you hesitate because you are not confident in this person (the attny?) because if that is the case GET A DIFFERENT ONE!!! You need someone who is going to look at things in your (and your children's) best interest. You did not say where you are located in LA so I hesitate to give you any recommendations...but there are definitely good ones out there.
By the way, if your husband bought the house before he married you he would be entitled to it, however I would ask your lawyer if you are entitled to 50% of the appreciation of the house (if there is any) since you have been married to him and living in it.
I know this is a heartbreaking time, but you are stronger than you think. You can get through this, but you need excellent legal counsel AND a restraining order! Do not hesitate to call the police if he shows up again trying to take the SUV or see the kids, etc. You have to be your own advocate right now.
Wishing you peace in the very near future!

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

All I can say is that I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope you have a good attorney and I hope that he can get your husband's attorney to work things out amicably.
California is a community property state, but before you go thinking that entitles you to half of all assets, you have to realize it also entitles you to half of all debt.
I had a child from my previous marriage and she was not considered in anything having to do with my divorce. My husband was the only "father" she really knew, but none of that really mattered since he was not legally her parent.
The DMV only goes by who is the registered owner of a vehicle so if your name isn't on it, they can't do anything unless the court tells them otherwise.
My husband had domestic violence issues as well, but he still had liberal visitation because there was no proof he harmed our son. He harmed me, but they separated the two things.
It really sucks.
I know it's hard, but you need to find a support system and have a plan B so that you can get a job and find somewhere else to go. Our home was in both our names, but my husband simply quit paying the mortgage and successfully forced me and the children out. He was a jerk. He played every jerk card. I was shocked at what he could get away with.

I'm not trying to dismay you....but you have to be prepared for the fact that even if he is ordered to do this or that, he may not do it. And in the meantime, all that matters is that you have a way to take care of you and your kids.
You can't count on him for anything right now so you need to have a backup plan for IF things go the right way.
It sounds like he wants to hurt you and you are seriously in the thick of the divorce heat.
Hopefully the pain, the fighting, the animosity will calm down and you can reach a settlement. Be prepared in case that doesn't happen.

Very best wishes. Seriously.

M..

answers from Ocala on

I'm sorry for what you are going through. All I can say is pray for the best for you and your children. Everything else has to be handled with your attorney and the courts.

God Bless.

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

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T.M.

answers from Modesto on

Hopefully you have a good atty. These things can go really haywire. My g/f just got divorced and her husband got the house because she wasnt on the deed. He got everything pretty much and she didnt get anything and has become completely mentally ill over it. Her atty should be shot. She found out later that her atty and her ex's atty were best friends, so she's re-suing.. but the process is long, slow and extremely h*** o* the kids, best not to be around him when the kids are present. She has her 5 yr old twins and her 8 yr old taken from her EVERY wknd to spend time with their dad who is never there, so the g/f or grandma takes care of them.
Please make your atty plays hardball. The thing of it is is that when the ex goes to start his new life he cant afford to make your car payments or your insurance or your mortgage or your rent or any of that so basically you end up with nothing but yourself to depend on.
That whole California is a 50/50 state makes no sense because I've seen a lot of people lose everything in the battle.
Good Luck, and don't be afraid to ask you lawyer questions and give him suggestions on what you want to end up with, just make sure its doable and not something that isnt realistic. You want to agree and come up with the most fair thing you can and get the mess overwith so you can move on.
You've been married a long time to this guy.... so you may be entitled to more than you know.
Wish I could help you, but I didnt want that battle when I got my divorce. I did my own paperwork, gave him everything and I walked away when my sons were 16 and 17. They got jobs and bought their own cars lickety split. Necessity is the mother of invention.

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K.B.

answers from Tulsa on

Are you considering staying in the same house as him after he is served?
I can not stress how bad this would be. Please, make other arrangements.
You need an attorney who knows CA law and who frankly knows the local judges and how they view these cases.

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