Dividing Chores Across Kids

What I've done, and I don't know if this will help, but... I have daily chores printed out and laminated in one bag. Then I have other bags with laminated chores for weekly chores. The kids pick out equal amounts of chores from the daily bag and are responsible, then they "get" to pick one out each day for the daily chores... There's no room for "It's not fair, etc.."

Their playroom and rooms, setting the table and clearing make sense to me but the rest seems like way too much. They're so young. Let them have their summer. I don't believe in kids being such worker bees. I had few chores growing up and didn't grow up lazy, incompetent and unsuccessful. Nor did my sister. We are grateful we had our childhoods though and I plan on doing the same for my kids. There's being responsible and then kind of taking over what the mother's/father's jobs should be IMO. Both my husband and I also work FT btw. Oh - my daughters are 7 and 8 and do a great job of keeping their rooms neat btw vs are growing up as slobs. They also voluntarily make their beds many mornings.

My kids are 2.5, 5 and almost 7. They are all responsible for putting their dirty clothes in the hamper, clearing their dishes, keeping their rooms picked up and cleaning up any messes they make in common areas (dining room/living room). Obviously I help the youngest as needed, but more often than not her sisters beat me to it :) Their playroom is in the basement and we clean that up together once a week.

I think cleaning bathrooms is a bit much for this age. Do you use all natural non-toxic cleaners? If not, then you're exposing your children to harmful chemicals while they clean. Not to mention, how well can they *really* clean it?

When I was a nanny the mom had a great plan. Kids that were older took a younger kid and taught them how to clean the room, the little kids had certain chores and then were the older kids helper for the rest.

Like in the kitchen. Smallest kid sorted the flatware from the dishwasher into the drawer. Middle aged kid did the lower rack and big kid did the top. All were responsible for any dishes dirty, they went into the dishwasher, again, the bigger kid had to make sure the dishes were placed right and that they were rinsed first.

They were responsible for wiping out the fridge, tossing any leftovers out of date, taking out the trash, sweeping and mopping, wiping down the counter tops, etc...all work was done every day.

Then the other rooms in the house had a similar list of what was to be done every day and who was supposed to do it, who was the final person it rested on to be done.

They switched each week or month or biweekly, which ever they decided they wanted to do. If the room wasn't done the kids got in big trouble.

By teaching the younger kids the older kids learned how to be a teacher, how to internalize the lists, and they were the best kids ever for helping.

I think you have to have it spelled out. BUT BUT BUT if you have not worked with them like a teacher would work with a student as to "how" to actually clean a room they will fail miserably.

I saw this with my friend. She would send her kids to their rooms to clean them and I'd find them sitting on the side of the bed reading or playing a game. I asked them why they weren't cleaning and they truly had no idea how to go about cleaning that room.

Chores should be according to age/ability of their age and coordination and awareness of cleaning supplies and how to use them.
ie: can the 5 year old, actually empty the dishwasher and put it away? Emptying the dishwasher, means putting away all that stuff. I imagine lots of broken things being dropped, not to mention, lots of the dishes/cups may be on a high cupboard that a kid cannot reach without having to use a ladder. Safety issue.

Then, can the child actually pick up the ENTIRE room and put away just like you? No. Young kids do not have our cleaning ability.
So you let them do it to their best, of their, ability. Or comprehension and age.

Then, there are things that Mom/Dad does. And things the kids help with, as being a part of the family, and doing supplemental cleaning and picking up.

As far as dusting, well that seems easy enough. My 6 year old can do that and does. But, he also misses a lot of spots. Fine. But he does it the best he can or has the energy to.
I don't make my kids clean the bathroom though. I prefer to do it. My kids are 6 and 10.

Then, there is the time it takes for a kid to clean all of these things. Versus an adult. For an adult, it can take all morning to do it all. For a child, how long will it take them to do it all? And how "good" do you expect them to do it?

Then, if they are doing these chores, then the hope is that they are taught "how" to do it all. First. Giving them tips on it etc.

A 5 year old and a 7.5 year old, has vastly different abilities, to do the same type of chore.

Then, will the kids do it by themselves or be spot checked or supervised while doing it? They may think they are doing it well. But then when you come home, and find it not to your liking... will it be a problem or not? And for a 5 year old, even just spraying vinegar spray on surfaces to clean... they may over-spray. My son once, was cleaning the mirrors. He was so proud. But, he sprayed too much. And it got on the floors. He did not realize that. Even if I had given him tips on it, just before. I did not scold him or deduct anything. Because, he DID do what his chore was. And he did it to the best that he could.

And, to a kid, what does "picking up the playroom" mean? Kids need clarification.

Any "rewards" that they are given for chores, should be per their age and ability. Otherwise, it will not be fair.

My kids do, what they are able to do per their age.

Then, what does the Mom and Dad do? Per chores?
Does the Husband, do any????
Often, the kids are expected to do most chores. While the Husband is not even doing any. Contradictory.

I think that dusting and cleaning the bathrooms is probably not a good idea for a 5 year old maybe your little girl but im not sure how helpful they are it can be difficult to get kids that young to do some of the things on the list. I would wait to make them do that until they are older or you might be finding urself doing more of the cleaning because they made a mess with the cleaning supplies.

My Children have been chores for over 5 years and they are now 10(girl), 10(boy) and 13(girl). I have adjusted the chores slightly over the years; however, the structure has remained the same.

We believe that Daily and Weekly chores are part of learning responsibility and being part of a family. Paid Chores are extras that you do to earn money and learn how to budget and purchase items without parents help.

Daily Chores
- Morning
* Bed, PJ's in hamper, Brush Teeth, Help pack lunch, breakfast dishes washed off and in dishwasher
- After School
* Snack, Homework
- Before Bed
* Empty dishwasher (when they could not reach the cabinet, they would stack the dishes on top of the counter under the cabinet where they go), help with dinner (sometimes as simple as set the table and get out condiments and it can be help cut and/or stir, make fruit smoothie), put dishes in dishwasher, pick up toys/books (things), pick up room, bath, clothes in hamper, brush teeth.

Weekly Chores
(during the summer, they will be divided into 1 per day) - some of these rotate every week between my 3 children
- Dust room
- Vaccum room
- Dust living/ playroom/ parents room (rotate)
- Vaccum living/ playroom/ parents room (rotate)
- Clean bathroom (1 child - bathtub, 1 child - sink/mirror, 1 child - toilet/floor) (rotate)

Paid Chores -
(these are only paid after all other chores are done. They can do them first, but they will not be paid until the required chores are complete.)
- pick up dog poop
- walk dogs
- clean windows on doors
- dust blinds
- clean baseboards
- mop kitchen
- clean parents bathroom
- rake leaves
- brush grass/leaves off sidewalk/ front door
- wash car
- clean inside of car

Everyone has a different view on to do or not to do chores. I suggest you look at all comments and combine the comments with what works best for you and your family. I wish you the best.

Honestly I have always just made "chores" about personal responsibility.
Pick up after yourself, period.
Pick up your toys, put your plate in the sink, your clothes in the hamper, etc.
I have never had them make their beds because they all suck at that and I'm kind of anal about certain things (LOL!)
When they started caring about money (around age 10 or 11 or so) I gave them opportunities to earn money by doing extra stuff, like pulling weeds, or cleaning the garage and/or cars, or helping me with bigger home improvement projects (gardening, painting, etc.)
I think it's important to have certain expectations, and then beyond that, pay them for what yo want and they are willing to do.

We only have one child (DS 7yo). So, in his words he pretty much does "everything around here!"

That being said, a 7 1/2 year old girl and a 5 year old boy are not the same in terms of maturity, coordination, attention span, and responsibility, so don't think of it so much as "splitting" the chores between them. Obviously "fairness" is probably key for them, so I'd make sure they each have the same NUMBER of chores, but assign them according to age and ability.

Also, side note, be careful with things like emptying the dishwasher... part of the reason for childhood chores is to teach RESPONSIBILITY and interdependence. If the child cannot adequately complete the job on his/her own, then it isn't really his/her chore. Also, if they do the job, but then you go back and "fix" it, it undermines the idea that the family DEPENDS on them to help. There are things in the dishwasher that belong on high shelves, and almost every dish will break as DS climbs on the counter to put it away... so in our house, that isn't his job. He comes in the kitchen to HELP me with that so that he learns to do it but I won't have him take over for another couple of years. He IS how ever responsible for putting away the silverware, because he can do that from start to finish without adult intervention.

All that to say: Each child should have a couple of daily self-care tasks, and a couple of family help chores (things that actually remove a burden from YOU) that need to be done.

Weekend chores like dusting and bathroom cleaning could be shared... if they share the bathroom and can each dust a couple pieces of furniture.

7yo: tidy room, set out clothes for tomorrow, set table, pack lunch, empty dishwasher
5yo: tidy room, clear table, sort recycling, empty wastebaskets into kitchen trash, put backpacks by front door.

We have two charts, one for daily chores they must do every day, and the other for once a week chores that must be completed before they get paid on Sunday. If they leave all these chores until Sunday then they just have a really busy Sunday! If I have to get on them about doing their chores daily or they don't do them or fight about them then I make a note of it and it can lead to deductions in total pay at the end of the week.

Not rocket science. Three easy but necessary chores per kid per day.

I differentiate between routines and chores. Making your bed, putting your clothes in the hamper, clearing your place after a meal, picking up your toys when you're done playing with them, etc. are, to me, akin to brushing your teeth and getting dressed. They're just natural parts of how we go about our day, therefore they are routines.

Chores in my house are things like picking up dog poop, emptying the dishwasher, setting the table, doing the dishes after dinner, vacuuming, cleaning the bathroom, cleaning the kitchen (including washing the floor), mowing the lawn, cleaning the pool, helping with laundry etc. Obviously my kids are older than yours so those won't all apply to you but at the end of the day, "chores" to me are things that benefit everyone and can be done by more than one person (meaning that everyone eats, so it shouldn't always be one person's job to set the table or clear the table). Things that everyone should do for him or herself throughout the day, everyday, are routines.

So with that idea, if I were you I would make up a list of the chores (like you listed above) that the kids can actually do and divide them up according to who is capable of doing what and then by what's reasonable.

For daily chores, your son could set the table, your daugther could clear the table. For emptying the dishwasher, your daugther could put away the glass dishes, your son the plastic and silverware. I would have picking up thier rooms be more of a daily routine thing that they both do and cleaning up any common areas as well (if you have a playroom, or they use outdoor toys).

For weekly chores...he can dust what he can reach, she can just what she can reach. Their ability to clean a bathroom would probably be limited, but you could make having them wipe down the sink and counters be a part of their daily routine. You could have them vacuum as a team - he clears the floor for her, she runs the vacuum.

Good for you for thinking about this!