Discusssing My Cycle with My 4 Year Old

I highly doubt she's still thinking about it. I wouldn't go to any great lengths to explain it to a 4 year old who likely won't understand it, doesn't really care, won't actively listen to what you're saying, or will forget what you told them the next day. I would save it for when she's older & will understand it more.

I have no answers. Just wanted to say thank you for asking this. My daughter is almost 5 and asks me every time what it is and why it's happening and I didn't really know what to say. I always tell her is it something that happens when you get older but never knew what else to say!! Thanks to all the wonderful responses, I will be able to explain it a little better to her.

if she is 4 and this was a few days ago, most likely she has forgotten, especially if you treated it as no big deal. i probably would have said something like, "yes, grownup ladies sometimes bleed down there but it doesn't hurt, it's supposed to do that sometimes. we'll talk about it more later."

but at this point i wouldn't bring it up to her unless she asks again.

My 3 year old has asked questions about why I am bleeding or what that string is for so I simply answered her truthfully. I told her that a grown-up woman's body gets prepared every month for a baby to grow in her belly, it builds up the inside of the uterus so the baby can be nice and cushioned when it grows. If there is no baby, then all the extra tissue and blood comes out since it isn't needed.
We had this talk in a public restroom once and a woman washing her hands congratulated me on how I explained it honestly, but simply.
I would say don't sit her down for a big talk, but next time it comes up naturally, just tell her the truth.

My 4 year old boy walked in and saw I was bleeding recently. I told him that women were made to carry babies. Every month, if there is no baby in their belly, they bleed so the mommy knows that there is no baby in the belly. It doesn't hurt (this is a huge concern with kids and blood) and I only bleed for a little while. That seems to be enough information for him.

I've told my daughter that it's something that happens every month to grown-up ladies. It doesn't hurt because it's just the nest that the body makes in the special place where the babies grow inside mommies. If the lady isn't going to have a baby then the body gets rid of the old nest to make room for a new one.

She's 6 now and I'm expecting #2 so she's asked a few more questions since the first time.

I was honest with my daughter when she was that age. I told her then that all girls will have a time in life when they get their period. You bleed when you are not pregnant. It is nothing scary and every girl goes through it and there's nothing to worry about. That did lead to questions about sanitary napkins and if you can die from bleeding but again I just answered honestly. Sorry I do not have a book recommendation. Be honest and age appropriate with your daughter if you feel the need to discuss it further.

My daughter was four when she walked in on me changing a tampon and wanted to know if I was hurt.
I told her that women's bodies have a part inside called a uterus and that it's where babies grow until they're big enough to be born. The uterus builds up extra blood for the baby to use, but if a baby doesn't start growing, then the uterus has to get rid of the old blood and start over.

As a Christian mama of 4 children, 3 girls and a boy, I never referred to books to teach my kids about sex- I'm not saying it's a bad idea- but I agree with the statement on this feed that they can be sterile- and not to mention all books do not work for all children. Don't get me wrong- we are a family that devours books. AFTER I had the 'talk' with my oldest, I gave her a cute book on puberty and taking care of herself and a book with a Christian perspective on abstinence, purity, following the crowd that I picked up at an event. But before that- I just answered her inquiries simply. The books I gave her were to remind and reinforce what I've already taught her.

Answer the specific question. That is all you need to do. Focus on the Family says "Just because your 5 yr child asks how a baby gets out of it's mommy doesn't mean you need to tell your child how it got there." I've always answered the specific question in appropriate detail using the correct terms and names for body parts.

Trying to explain the entire experience to a child that young will overload her..let her be 4 and just answer the questions as they come.

Dr.Dobson also recommended speaking to your child about sex, puberty and all the details between ages 8-10. They can process it better and by this age- all of those "questions " they have asked along the way have helped. If every time I asked my mom a question about my body, she wanted to give me this looong explanation and waaaay more info than I needed- then I'd stop asking my mama- and start asking my friends.

I had the "FULL" talk with my oldest when she was just about 10. I made it a mother/ daughter date night. For my daughters personality- I asked her questions and gave her details in the car- eye contact would have been too much for her- she even asked questions a little easier when her mom wasn't 'staring' at her. Then we went about our special evening- dinner, shopping- at the end I just reminded her I'm always ready to talk or answer any question she ever has.

I have so far decided to steer clear of the books and just talk frankly. The books seem a little impersonal and sterile. But there must be a good one somewhere. Sometimes we look up pictures on the computer together if I need a visual. I also am coming from a Christian world view and many books on the market don't work for us . By the way how in the world did you keep your period a secret this long?! No judgment, I guess I just admire the privacy you managed. When my daughter first noticed she was two or three so I kept it real simple. At four I have tried to give her a little puberty lesson 101 and she was so disinterested she walked out of the room. I think the key highlights are the obvious: there's blood involved and it comes out of your vagina, it does not hurt, its normal, its called a period, and when she gets older she'll have it too, but its not big deal, and it means her body is old enough to have a baby in it.
Later I told her my body was cleaning the baby house or my uterus for if I get a new baby in there (but I have been pregnant a few times since having her)
Honestly anything much beyond that is not going to interest her. Mine is 4.5 and I'm just starting to add talks about how her body will change. I'm going to hold off and not bring that up until later. She really didn't like the idea of pubic hair and boobs. Maybe when she is 5.

I have a 17 yr old girl. I have always been honest and upfront with any question she asked when she asked it.

We have established wide open no topic off limits communication.

When I was younger, my mom was such a prude and acted as it the body was to be hidden, sex was dirty, etc. and I swore I would never do that to my child.

We are open, honest and embrace our bodies and talk a LOT.

If I had been in your situation at the time, I would have simply assured her that I am ok and this is part of a woman's life. Keep it short, sweet, and to the point.

If she's forgotten about, I would just leave it alone. If she asks you about it again, just tell her that when you get to be a big person, sometimes you bleed from your privates and that it doesn't hurt. That's what I told my 4 year old and she's never had a question since.

I used "It's So Amazing" by Robie H. Harris. It's stated as for age 7 and up, but you might want to have it handy and read it ahead of time to see if it meets your needs. I started using it with my daughter by age 6.

The same author has "It's not the Stork" for age 4 and up.

Well, 4 may be a little soon, but I like: When you are a woman, God gives you a special substance in your body that lets you have a baby. From this special substance, you were created! :) If you're not going to have one, your body lets out the extra each month. It is a wonderful thing to have.
Amen.

I told mine that it's only for big girls (so they didn't have to worry about it happening to them), and that babies grow in mommies bellies and if there it's no baby, the blood it's how it gets cleaned out. And I always let them know it doesn't hurt. My 7 yr old will go "ugh it's the blood again....so no baby" she wants another sibling.

My 5 year old son, my only, knows I have my period - of course since we as mommy's never have bathroom privacy. That's what I call it, so that's what he calls it. I told him only that it's how my body works, it happens every month for a couple days. It doesn't hurt, and it's a bit messy.

At 4, this is enough information for your daughter. She doesn't need to know all the biological details about menstruation till she's a bit older - maybe 7ish or so.

This is what my sister told her boys (the question came up when some adults were laughing at a tampon which was packed in with the soccer team's first aid kit, by the way)-- the boys were a wee bit older, but anyway:

"You know how God makes our bodies perfectly? Well, God made a special place in a woman's body called a womb--it's to grow a baby nice and healthy. If no baby grows in the womb, then the blood inside comes out every so often and new blood and tissue will be made, so the baby has a clean, healthy place to grow. It doesn't hurt, and it's just like when birds make new nests for when they lay eggs."

Lots of great suggestions on this thread; my nephews and my own son do nature studies/observations, so this is one way to explain something a child doesn't know by comparing it to a concept they're familiar with. You will know what works best for your daughter, and yes, I'd just drop it until she brings it up again, for now... and only answer in the simplest way possible. She'll ask follow-up questions if she is ready for more information.

I find it's best to as honest as possible, always honest, with kids but only tell what they are asking and no more until they ask more. I would tell her God made mothers to do this, you are not hurt and it's okay and if you want to say more it's up to you, I would leave it at that. Make sure you answer it like it's part of life and not like you are afraid to talk about it and that takes the fear out of it if she thought you were bleeding in a bad way. You want her to be free to talk with you about anything so making it honest, simple and part of life makes her feel free to do that in the future. Don't tell her how awful it is to have periods though. :-)